Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

An actually shitty situation:
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This is such a fat load of bullshit.

She has never done even a moment of her mom's post stroke care, not even when she flew to Mississippi right after it happened. They actually had to assign Ryann a tard wrangler to keep her occupied so she didn't get in the way of the care her mom needed or put videos of her mom online.

Her aunts, cousins, and brother have been Beth's round the clock caregivers ever since. Any doctor appointments she needs scheduled and to be taken to, that's all on them. So Ryann is crying about the stress other people are experiencing, as if it is her her own. She may have been asked to contribute to some of her mom's bills, which would certainly be a reason for Ryann to wallow in self pity.

There is zero chance Beth is going to be moved to California a third time, her health can't take it. And Ryann would get bored with her in a matter of weeks even if she did survive the trip.

There's also the fact that Ryann uses her two bedroom apartment to do hoe shit. She can't afford her own 2 bedroon apartment, let alone a three bedroom place with in home care services. Hell, she can't even house or care for her teenage son.

In conclusion: I don't believe you, fatass. Your family is going to take care of your mom like they have been since you were a child, and then they'll have to take care of you once you become immobile.

 

[NoReturn]

This is such a fat load of bullshit.

She has never done even a moment of her mom's post stroke care, not even when she flew to Mississippi right after it happened. They actually had to assign Ryann a tard wrangler to keep her occupied so she didn't get in the way of the care her mom needed or put videos of her mom online.

Her aunts, cousins, and brother have been Beth's round the clock caregivers ever since. Any doctor appointments she needs scheduled and to be taken to, that's all on them. So Ryann is crying about the stress other people are experiencing, as if it is her her own. She may have been asked to contribute to some of her mom's bills, which would certainly be a reason for Ryann to wallow in self pity.

There is zero chance Beth is going to be moved to California a third time, her health can't take it. And Ryann would get bored with her in a matter of weeks even if she did survive the trip.

There's also the fact that Ryann uses her two bedroom apartment to do hoe shit. She can't afford her own 2 bedroon apartment, let alone a three bedroom place with in home care services. Hell, she can't even house or care for her teenage son.

In conclusion: I don't believe you, fatass. Your family is going to take care of your mom like they have been since you were a child, and then they'll have to take care of you once you become immobile.

The most recent videos, newest on far left.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

An actually shitty situation:
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PL/MATI: my mom waited until 40 to have me. My mom's broken her hip twice, had to spend 2 months without a hip due to a doctor's fuckup. I have plenty of experience with needing to take care of her. There's a damn good chance I could still be living with my parents into my 30s. I can sympathize with what Tess is going through. That sympathy goes right out the window when you start talking about holistic medicine and acupuncture. I don't know the details of her mom's disability, but I check out the instant alternative "medicine" enters the conversation. If she wants to help her mom - truly wants to do what's best for her - she'll drop that shit.

And Tess, don't pull that "single mom with two kids" bullshit when only one of them lives with you.

 

[NoReturn]

Tess content:

Context for this is I guess some Netflix show drama? https://www.distractify.com/p/the-cuties-story-love-is-blind

That sympathy goes right out the window when you start talking about holistic medicine and acupuncture. I don't know the details of her mom's disability, but I check out the instant alternative "medicine" enters the conversation. If she wants to help her mom - truly wants to do what's best for her - she'll drop that shit.

"Alternative" medicines I've seen actually work, and what I've seen them work for.

Spoiler: Spoilered because off-topic

• Electroacupuncture = Recovery after breaking a bone. This may have worked for the same reasons TENS machines work, though, so it's more about the muscle stimulation than the needles.
• Massage = Muscle spasms. Faster relief than PT and let the person actively pursue PT because they weren't having random spams in the middle of the exercises anymore.
• Yoga = Mobility and pain issues. It's basically fancy stretching and isometric exercise, so it makes sense it would loosen you up, make you stronger, and help with balance.
• Herbal medicine = This is a whole separate category that depends entirely on what you're looking to accomplish. Some of it is 100% horseshit, some of it 100% works.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Tess content:
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Context for this is I guess some Netflix show drama? https://www.distractify.com/p/the-cuties-story-love-is-blind

I thought that story was going to go in a completely different direction. I saw Cuties and assumed some massive revelation about Netflix's thinly veiled pedo bait had been made.

"Alternative" medicines I've seen actually work, and what I've seen them work for.

Spoiler: Spoilered because off-topic

• Electroacupuncture = Recovery after breaking a bone. This may have worked for the same reasons TENS machines work, though, so it's more about the muscle stimulation than the needles.
• Massage = Muscle spasms. Faster relief than PT and let the person actively pursue PT because they weren't having random spams in the middle of the exercises anymore.
• Yoga = Mobility and pain issues. It's basically fancy stretching and isometric exercise, so it makes sense it would loosen you up, make you stronger, and help with balance.
• Herbal medicine = This is a whole separate category that depends entirely on what you're looking to accomplish. Some of it is 100% horseshit, some of it 100% works.

If there's actual scientific evidence that something helps, I'm all for it. I was more thinking of essential oils and chiropractic (when used to treat anything not relating to joints).

 

[Angry New Ager]

Unfortunately no.
Look out, thread, I'm about to go full-sympathy for messy Tessy.
So, Tess' mom was shot in the head twice and survived, so she's got all that damage, but even if we were to leave out that horrible incident, this still isn't as unusual as you might think.
Tess is 37, it's not unusual at all for Boomer-parents to have had kids into their late 30s and early 40s, so there are a bunch of millennials in their 30s right now walking around with parents in their 60s and even their 70s.

It's not unusual for college-educated urban professionals to delay having kids until their late 30s and early 40s, but that's not remotely the case here.

Beth's right around 60, IIRC. She's from blue-collar, small-town Mississippi, didn't go to college, has had jobs but not a career, and had her kids when she was still really young. She hasn't had an easy life, and also hasn't spent it immersed in the kind of coastal culture that fixates on the perfect diet and excercise and anti-aging regimens, and yes, it shows—but really, she looks like most working-class women her age in Flyover Country.

I'm not sympathetic to Tess because she had a baby she didn't want and dumped him on her disabled mom to raise while she fucked off to Seattle to do burlesque and become a model. Beth had to make Tess take Rylee and be a mother to him, because Tess would have just left him with her until he was grown if she had her way. Tess has never been back to her hometown for more than brief visits, but she has dragged Beth out to California to live in an overcrowded apartment with her, Nick, and both kids, and provide free infant/childcare, until Beth couldn't take it anymore and went home.

As has been pointed out, she's never been a caregiver to her mother in any meaningful way; all of that has fallen on her family back in Mississippi. When Beth had her stroke, Tess showed up to paint her nails and take hospital selfies with her that she posted to Instagram—she was worse than useless. If she's sent money, that's as far as her "caregiving" has gone; if anything, she's been a total fucking leech and user. She's also mocked Beth in social media posts after filming her and uploading video without permission. So all of her teary declarations about how she's always taken care of her mom since childhood is absolute bullshit.

I don't doubt Beth has trouble getting adequate, much less specialist, medical care in a place as remote as Laurel, because that's the unfortunate reality for most people who live a significant distance from even a mid-sized city, or a university with a medical school. But moving her to LA so she can get acupuncture, of all things? Tess is going to resent the shit out of her presence in no time flat, and play the martyr over every medical appointment or other errand on Beth's behalf. And she'll still stick Beth with childcare duties despite her being sick and disabled, because that's what kind of person she's proven herself to be. The only one who would genuinely benefit would be Bowie, until Beth once again decided she'd had enough, and decided to take her chances back home.

So yeah, don't waste your time showering Tess with sympathy as she uses her manicured sausage claws to smudge tears from her greasy face; she's proven time and again she's not worth it. Save that for Beth, and the people who genuinely care for her.

 

[Gay Mouth]

When I hear that Beth is showing signs of aging and needing more medical care from her horrific disability, I have empathy for her. Then I take in the whole of the situation as Tess is presenting it. She’s crying in a moment of frustration, probably just broke into tears. She always picks up her goddamn phone to film her snotty bloated lips and oil slick face. She is so triumphant that she has tears to show the world, that she manages to wax poetic for a minute about the American healthcare system for daring to not place an acupuncturist within 10 minutes of her mothers residence. She’s crying in pity for HERSELF at the prospect that in the future, she may have to financially and physically care for her ailing mother, a woman who raised her and her older son. I don’t believe for a second that she will start caring for her mom. Beth has Tad and other family, who have all known the score for a decade now- Tess is off in Hollywood faking it, and good riddance because she’s a pain.

 

[Gramlol]

It's not unusual for college-educated urban professionals to delay having kids until their late 30s and early 40s, but that's not remotely the case here.

Beth's right around 60, IIRC. She's from blue-collar, small-town Mississippi, didn't go to college, has had jobs but not a career, and had her kids when she was still really young. She hasn't had an easy life, and also hasn't spent it immersed in the kind of coastal culture that fixates on the perfect diet and excercise and anti-aging regimens, and yes, it shows—but really, she looks like most working-class women her age in Flyover Country.

I'm not sympathetic to Tess because she had a baby she didn't want and dumped him on her disabled mom to raise while she fucked off to Seattle to do burlesque and become a model. Beth had to make Tess take Rylee and be a mother to him, because Tess would have just left him with her until he was grown if she had her way. Tess has never been back to her hometown for more than brief visits, but she has dragged Beth out to California to live in an overcrowded apartment with her, Nick, and both kids, and provide free infant/childcare, until Beth couldn't take it anymore and went home.

As has been pointed out, she's never been a caregiver to her mother in any meaningful way; all of that has fallen on her family back in Mississippi. When Beth had her stroke, Tess showed up to paint her nails and take hospital selfies with her that she posted to Instagram—she was worse than useless. If she's sent money, that's as far as her "caregiving" has gone; if anything, she's been a total fucking leech and user. She's also mocked Beth in social media posts after filming her and uploading video without permission. So all of her teary declarations about how she's always taken care of her mom since childhood is absolute bullshit.

I don't doubt Beth has trouble getting adequate, much less specialist, medical care in a place as remote as Laurel, because that's the unfortunate reality for most people who live a significant distance from even a mid-sized city, or a university with a medical school. But moving her to LA so she can get acupuncture, of all things? Tess is going to resent the shit out of her presence in no time flat, and play the martyr over every medical appointment or other errand on Beth's behalf. And she'll still stick Beth with childcare duties despite her being sick and disabled, because that's what kind of person she's proven herself to be. The only one who would genuinely benefit would be Bowie, until Beth once again decided she'd had enough, and decided to take her chances back home.

So yeah, don't waste your time showering Tess with sympathy as she uses her manicured sausage claws to smudge tears from her greasy face; she's proven time and again she's not worth it. Save that for Beth, and the people who genuinely care for her.

Also this poor me shit is annoying af because you should be assisting in the care of elderly parents, if they need it, that's your responsibility as a decent adult. Like raising your kids, eating a healthy diet etc, it's just 'adulting'.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

The only person I feel sympathy for is Beth. Disabled and growing older, probably has some other illnesses we don't know and she has this fat selfish asshole for a daughter. I hope her family and friends are able to help her, because we all know our suppahmoddel won't lift her greasy paws to help.

 

[NoReturn]

Also this poor me shit is annoying af because you should be assisting in the care of elderly parents, if they need it, that's your responsibility as a decent adult. Like raising your kids, eating a healthy diet etc, it's just 'adulting'.

I disagree. Rylee, for example, doesn't owe Tess jack-fucking-shit.
If she comes to him and wants him to feed her and wash her folds he has every right in the world to slam the door in her face.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I disagree. Rylee, for example, doesn't owe Tess jack-fucking-shit.
If she comes to him and wants him to feed her and wash her folds he has every right in the world to slam the door in her face.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Not sure where that quote comes from, but it's usually bastardized to "Blood is thicker than water" and used to express the exact opposite of the actual sentiment behind it.
The bonds we form on our own and stronger/more important than the ones forced upon us. No one is obligated to take care of someone because they're related. Tess's choice to throw him out and burn damn near every bridge she's ever built with others, both professionally and personally, is gonna hit her like a freight train when she becomes genuinely unable to care for herself.

 

[NoReturn]

Tessy does community outreach:

Looks like we're not the only ones noticing the kids:

 

[Pina Colada]

"I'm not putting him on the internet because pedophiles"
Too little too late Mess, that ship sailed when you sold his soul to social media loooooooong ago. Let's see that contract.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Aww, this is a shitty situation, I feel bad for Tess.

I don’t want to be a jerk but it is mindblowing to me how many chances Tubbers gets at life, even in this thread where we catalog her poor decision making.

Tess's choice to throw him out and burn damn near every bridge she's ever built with others, both professionally and personally, is gonna hit her like a freight train when she becomes genuinely unable to care for herself.

It’s already hit her. Her income source is one she can’t actually disclose to anyone because farting on cakes isn’t as sexy as being a runway model. Her oldest child willingly lives with someone else. One half of her family can’t stand her and given how little we saw of Dear Old Dad this year, the other side of her family is finding out quickly enough why she’s radioactive.

 

[NoReturn]

I don’t want to be a jerk but it is mindblowing to me how many chances Tubbers gets at life, even in this thread where we catalog her poor decision making.

It’s already hit her. Her income source is one she can’t actually disclose to anyone because farting on cakes isn’t as sexy as being a runway model. Her oldest child willingly lives with someone else. One half of her family can’t stand her and given how little we saw of Dear Old Dad this year, the other side of her family is finding out quickly enough why she’s radioactive.

Realistically speaking, what is there to be done with someone like Tess?
Let's say it's not Tess specifically, but someone like her who can't keep friendships, burns bridges and job opportunities, and treats her children like Tess treats Rylee and Bowie.
With Tess we see her behavior, it's documented, but other people aren't so public, so their kids probably feel a lot of stress and shame around it. They don't want to be seen as shitty children who abandoned their parent, but society might see them as such with no other information.
There's also the whole element of no one else being that close to Tess who would feel bad saying it's someone else's problem.
Realistically, how is this going to play out for Tess' kids?
Also, since I know we have lurkers here who don't even have accounts, what advice can we give them if they're in a similar situation?

 

[Jumpingintrash]

Realistically speaking, what is there to be done with someone like Tess?
Let's say it's not Tess specifically, but someone like her who can't keep friendships, burns bridges and job opportunities, and treats her children like Tess treats Rylee and Bowie.
With Tess we see her behavior, it's documented, but other people aren't so public, so their kids probably feel a lot of stress and shame around it. They don't want to be seen as shitty children who abandoned their parent, but society might see them as such with no other information.
There's also the whole element of no one else being that close to Tess who would feel bad saying it's someone else's problem.
Realistically, how is this going to play out for Tess' kids?
Also, since I know we have lurkers here who don't even have accounts, what advice can we give them if they're in a similar situation?

I feel this. Usually I'm content to sit back and cackle but without pling when a child is directly involved it feels gross? Give the mammoth enough rope, if she doesn't hang herself she's bound to tangle herself past help. Bowie is just a child and can't be her caretaker. The sooner he's removed, the better. This will absolutely happen without cow tipping, so be patient folks. And know that no matter how shit of a hand a child is dealt we're all capable of rising above. Don't try to be a hero in messland.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I feel this. Usually I'm content to sit back and cackle but without pling when a child is directly involved it feels gross?

That's largely because kids have no real agency, especially during the first few years. They're basically little Kirbys, taking in whatever they see/experience and adding it to themselves.

The Deathfat Nursery thread is easily one of the most depressing I've come across here. It's full of kids who will grow to resent their parents for the years of mockery and bullying that awaits them. It's also a good example of the Farms being a whole fuck of a lot more understanding and sympathetic than, say, Reddit. Its Reddit counterpart, r/fellowshipofthebib, is absolutely vicious toward one particular toddler named Madi.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Rylee is of normal weight and the little we’ve heard is that he does well in school. He seems to be going the anti-Tess route where he correctly observed that imitating Tess will lead to failure. Ironically enough, Tess rejecting him is probably one of the best things to happen to him.

Jury is still out on Bowie, it’s going to take a while to see how he will turn out. People have been successful with even shittier parents than her but others fall into the abyss. We shall see.

Tess can’t even get her fake friends to show up anymore. There is no more revolving door of BFFs. She can’t blame that on COVID-19 because I’ve been to her neck of the woods for my job and life has returned to normal, such that it is. Even that obese Harley Quinn chick has been a no show. She hasn’t said anything about Dear Old Dad in months, which I’m sure she’s disappointed because that means she can’t flirt with her half brother. Seems like this Beth mini arc is her way of having drama for drama’s sake because she has no friends and most of her family on both sides hate her or are at the very least tired of her shit.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Realistically speaking, what is there to be done with someone like Tess?
Let's say it's not Tess specifically, but someone like her who can't keep friendships, burns bridges and job opportunities, and treats her children like Tess treats Rylee and Bowie.
With Tess we see her behavior, it's documented, but other people aren't so public, so their kids probably feel a lot of stress and shame around it. They don't want to be seen as shitty children who abandoned their parent, but society might see them as such with no other information.
There's also the whole element of no one else being that close to Tess who would feel bad saying it's someone else's problem.
Realistically, how is this going to play out for Tess' kids?
Also, since I know we have lurkers here who don't even have accounts, what advice can we give them if they're in a similar situation?

If Tess isn't dead of a heart attack in the next ten years, she'll be on hard drugs to cope with prostituting herself.

 

[gampboonerisms]

Realistically speaking, what is there to be done with someone like Tess?
Let's say it's not Tess specifically, but someone like her who can't keep friendships, burns bridges and job opportunities, and treats her children like Tess treats Rylee and Bowie.
With Tess we see her behavior, it's documented, but other people aren't so public, so their kids probably feel a lot of stress and shame around it. They don't want to be seen as shitty children who abandoned their parent, but society might see them as such with no other information.
There's also the whole element of no one else being that close to Tess who would feel bad saying it's someone else's problem.
Realistically, how is this going to play out for Tess' kids?
Also, since I know we have lurkers here who don't even have accounts, what advice can we give them if they're in a similar situation?

Well, here's some, but hopefully not too much PL:

Mother was a complete narc, had a scapegoat and a golden child; sg=brother, gc=me.
after growing up with terrible habits, terrible role models, and terrible socioeconomic situation, I was determined to not die in that god-fucked town. My brother had different ideas. I got through college and believed my mother's lies. My brother told me what were lies and what was truth. I no longer believe her lies, nor her truths. I live halfway across the world, and my brother will die is a shitty dying town, with our mother dying in a house that's falling in cause she won't spend a damn cent of her gov't check to do anything to upkeep herself nor her property.

When a person actively sabotages their health (by not taking medicine, or taking too many painkillers, or eating themselves into a chair and whining everytime they have to go into a store that doesn't have a scooty-puff) and that same person wants to live through you cause you made yourself better? Don't let yourself be dragged down, be firm, and walk your own path.