Horrorcow Alexander Gordon Jahans / Alex Jahans / Gordon Jones / Farshnuke / Alasdair Jakes - Sweaty youtuber with anger issues, Cannibalism Enthusiast

AnOminous

AnOminous

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Updated OP:

. ' said:

Alexander Gordon Jahans / Alex Jahans / Gordon Jones / Farshnuke / Alasdair Jakes​

Updated Op, started originally by (@AnOminous)
Let's start this off with some unbelievable facts.
JAHANSFACTS
✔ brought a hamster to orgasm
✔ soundly rejected by the online hamster community
✔ had his pumpkin smashed by a foreigner
✔ carried a dead rat around with him
✔ buried multiple goldfish alive to make compost
✔ played with animal carcasses
✔ smashed a child's head into the ground repeatedly screaming "why won't you die"
✔ made a dalek and cuckshed in 3D
✔ low intelligence
✔ aspiring BBC script writer
✔ aspiring BBC cuckold
✔ obese
✔ founded Green Nothing Productions (not registered at companies house)
✔ vowed to review Twilight and Fifty Shades Of Grey while cosplaying as Bella if a facebook post about GNP got 10,000 likes (it didn't)
✔ owns an inflatable dalek
✔ wiped his cat's arse with his finger
✔ wrote about intravenously injecting women with cum, shit and piss
✔ wrote about removing and eating organs from living women
✔ wrote about cutting women into pieces
✔ wrote about wanting to shrink women and keep them as pets
✔ wrote about roasting Amy Pond alive
✔ quit after one day as a trolley boy
✔ threatened to strangle every member of an internet club
✔ made multiple topless youtube videos, once asking the audience to masturbate
✔ licked his own nipple on cam
✔ got banned from multiple facebook groups for transphobia
✔ his own sister is terrified of him
✔ wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and Jim Sterling
✔ handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person
✔ terrified a deeply autistic man after performing oral sex on him
✔ killed a tarantula by crushing it under foot
✔ founded Project MIRTH
✔ pronounces bickers as "bickers"
✔ attempted to physically remove his father from the house
✔ got scolded by a policewoman who then told him to tidy his room
✔ demanded that his mother pay him £50 to move a chair
✔ got angry when she only gave him £30
✔ broke his wrist falling over after flamboyantly storming off when his mum made him pay for a bed with "his own money" (her money)
✔ blacklisted by multiple feminist communities
✔ blacklisted by the labour party
✔ threatened suicide bickers the requirements to receive welfare are too strict
✔ threatened suicide if terrorist sympathising communist corbyn didn't win
✔ cut his own hair with disastrous results
✔ refused to come downstairs when a friend came to play
✔ received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it
✔ can't be a computer technician bickers quantum computers
✔ can't learn to program bickers new languages will come out
✔ NEET
✔ showing many symptoms of diabetes (pain in extremities, slow wound healing, headaches, blackouts, lack of energy, intense thirst, sugar craving)
✔ told by an endocrinologist he is too fat
✔ not even white
✔ burned a gastropod to death in a toxic isobutene and propylene glycol solution
✔ rejected by the straight community
✔ can't learn to drive bickers self driving cars

JAHANSPEAK
Project MIRTH: Making Internet Racists Think Healthily
JIDF: Jahans Internet Defense Force
The JQ: The Jahans Question
JEU: Jahans Extended Universe
bickers: the correct pronunciation and spelling of "bickers"
GNP: Green Nothing Productions
Supremely arousing: how Jahans finds murder and cannibalism
Absolute nectar: a movie production company based in Lagos, Nigeria
Nazis: a catch-all term for literally everyone and everything
Submissive Blond Girls: see "supremely arousing"
Jeremy Corbyn: hope
The Female Doctor: also hope
View attachment 2235949
First and foremost Alexander Jahans considers himself a political and games commenter in the same vein as Jim Sterling one of his idols next to Laura K Buzz, but were not at that point of the tale, yet.
This is his worldview.
View attachment 2235941

Alexander Jahans is (a gamer) over 1k hours in skyrim, he's (a prolific writer) even controversial demonized by feminists & fascists alike.​
​

Some classic jahanic kino
JARCHIVE part 1
https://mega.nz/#F!189FESgJ!kBt76yhFgMlsI3znyymYgA
309 videos
JARCHIVE part 2
https://mega.nz/#F!3d1FES7J!pzW9OiznEYgMCz5g3fDUoA
157 videos
JARCHIVE part 3
https://mega.nz/#F!HEMm0Tyb!9zdevkfaJ4YEP9M1CNAk2A
157 videos

As Jahans rose to infamy he drew looks from onlookers curious as to weather or not he was serious, or if he was serious to what degree.​
In a 2016 (4chan thread) his bloodline is brought into (Question).
if you've ever looked at Jahans you quickly wonder whats wrong with his tits, well he has kallmans syndrome, this is notable for many reasons 1 it impacts his writing his worldview as well as his sexuality as noted in an early 4chan thread made prior to jahans rise to infamy. this of course mad jahans a prime candidate for trolls.
Links related:
Some early trolling plans from 8chan /pol/ /cow/ and 4chan /pol/
(archive of operation Kevins revenge)
(https://pastebin.com/WwJSPGwe)
Dox:
(https://pastebin.com/iZgtQGqb)
(https://archive.ph/kZQ1I)
4chan /pol/ & /cow/ work together yet halfchan jannies started to crack down.
(https://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/87868184/)
View attachment 2235906View attachment 2235907View attachment 2235919

I call this screecap the duality of man.
View attachment 2235909
And they did send him oodles of pizza in revenge for Kevin, or at least thats the cover they used.
View attachment 2235911
Rip Kevin (https://forum.deviantart.com/devart/general/1153372/l) archived by (@Esoteric Jahanist)
View attachment 2235938

His interest in literature might be genetic (since keith is a writer himself).
(Here's an interview with Keith big balls Jahans with pollyver and Godwinson the latter pretended to be a girl for this interview.

Without a doubt these events contributed to Alexander getting an (Ed thread) where esoteric (Jahanism),
a precursor to esoteric PPPism helmed by black Adam / (Godwinson). He made this (Documentary) and (Interviewed) Jahans.
View attachment 2235925



In his interview regarding Jahans Adam neglected to mention he wrote the sequel to Laura queen of earth which sent Jahans into a rage, nor did he mention the fact that he had a sock account engaging Jahans on his Facebook.(link to an audiobook by godwinson & nat sock.
Lord Adam Edge even appeared at this time to do his documentary.
1 (http://archive.md/fRbw2) >>204028
2 (http://archive.md/wpMkV) >>228717
3 (http://archive.md/gao1O) >>241661
4 (http://archive.md/AhHjl) >>246909
5 (http://archive.md/JsYNs) >>251169
From thread 5
View attachment 2235960
7 (http://archive.md/WQmng) >>255913
8 (http://archive.md/NwW0h) >>257816
9 (http://archive.md/gBhyn) >>261757
10(http://archive.md/8oIv3) >>273135
11(http://archive.md/FwHSH) >>279223
12 (http://archive.md/MfpAH) >>286948
13 (https://archive.md/oiNbR)>>291971
14 (http://archive.md/9Vzhm) >>302988
15 (http://archive.md/gbxlw) >>228717
View attachment 2235963
Social media:
(Twitter/Archive)
(Reddit/Archive)
(Facebook/Archive)
(Blog/Archive)
(Guardian/Archive)
(Deviant art/Archive)
Click to expand...

There was a previous attempt to start a thread on this guy. For some reason it didn't take off even though this motherfucker is crazy beyond the level of any average lolcow here.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/alexander-jahans.18637/

Okay, let's not bury the lede. This guy wants to inject feces and urine into you. No. Really.

http://farsh-nuke.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/laura-queen-of-earth.html

A woman steps up.

Lucy injects her with 7 centiliters of shit.

“Any reaction?” asks Lucy

“I guess I find you hot.” says the woman.

Lucy makes a note “Next.”

Sally holds up the sack “If you could just climb inside please?”

*

5 centiliters of cum, 1 centiliter of vomit, 1 centiliter of blood.

A short pretty woman steps up.

Lucy injects her.
Click to expand...

jahans.png


View attachment 180268

The /cow/ board has actually done a good job tracking this absolute loony.
http://8ch.net/cow/res/251169.html https://archive.is/D5tRb

His YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/farshnuke

Why does he look so weird? Well, he has a bizarre genetic condition called Kallmann Syndrome, which means you never enter puberty. So he looks like a 10 year old kid even though he's an adult, and only recently started getting testosterone injections, which means his freakish, murderous fetishes are now acting up and he's turning into a potentially violent lunatic.

Also, his politics. He's a right-wing Trump supporter. No actually not. He's a fucking liberal. He wants to murder everyone who disagrees with him.

Why the fuck do we not have an active thread about this crazy motherfucker?
 
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Hey guys!

No idea if this geezer has been posted here before, but here goes ;-

First post from a lurker, but I seriously thought it was worth it! Me and my friend were checking out some lolcows (standard) until she informed me of a guy she used to live beside. This guy would make youtube videos so loudly, she could hear them through the walls. The dude would dress up as Doctor Who and routinely creep on her. To boot, he's a privilege-hating, manboob-obsessed ball of fury.

Anyway, she found his youtube and after having a laugh; I figured I should share it with you guys. Sure, he's not Chris-chan level, but the guy is pretty insane.

This guy has 999 videos of pure shouting, sweating and general craziness.

Here's some highlights ;

/ Shows us his tiddies.
/ Learn from the best you guys and trust me; he's not kidding or a parody. This is legit as he is in real life.
/ Doesn't ever answer the actual question, talks about how all men are rapists and his tits. Again.

Honestly guys, there is well over a few days of content on this guy's channel. Get some brain bleach and be prepared to cry yourself to sleep after this horrorthon.

The thread's 2017 resurrection starts here
 
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So who wants to bet he has an account here already? He looks like the kind of fellow who would get angry at Chris.


Edit: watched the lolcow video- he mentions he is 23 and has haemorrhoids which makes him leak blood out his arse, writes fiction about women as pets and has a tiny cock and balls which 'means you piss yourself'.

:cryblood::cryblood::cryblood:
 
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The essential guide to Alexander Gordon jahans (AKA THE NEW CHRIS CHAN) to share this ABSOLUTE MADMAN with all you normies

So this guys videos are usually 2 hours long and whose got time to sit through all that autism? So here's a compilation of his most degenerate moments, in short form, spanning from that time he licked his tit, to that time he declared war on pol with a pastry, to that time he described graphic sex with his boyfriend, to that time he cries about his micropenis - it's all here folks.

The ultimate Alexander Gordon Jahans experience.

Playlist link: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4iIjpSnSj1sOKXa6Y7ClK6hrXlumnYex
 
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