Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[RainwaterDrop]

So, if this is indeed stroke number 3:

1. I hope he recovers. I don't wish death upon people, even fairly awful people.
2. While I don't wish death upon him, he did this to himself harshly (I know, hardly a new statement).
3. How many strokes does it take to paddle across The River Of Styx?

I don't wish death on Jagoff either. Fuck, I would love to see him getting a redemption arc, finally growing up and admitting he's a shit cook and learning from zero, stop leeching on his loved ones, actually learning from the teachings of Christ and stop being such an asshole. Fuck, it would be something if this guy simply mellowed out and worked towards becoming a nice guy and admitted he's got problems, considering how severe his narcissism is, this would be the equivalent of free climbing a mountain for Jack!

Thinking about it, there are only a few cows that deserve suffering. Mostly the ones that are genuinely awful people and have acted towards hurting others. MovieBob could be redeemed, Jagoff as well, even DSP. These guys didn't kill anyone, try to induce others into suicide or even molest people. Jagoff is pretty much on the limit of redemption, in my view, there are some lines he didn't cross despite coming pretty fucking close!

This would actually be at minimum his 4th. It was uncovered from old social media posts that he had a medical emergency pre YT that sounded suspiciously like a stroke, but he got angy and waddled out of the ER before they could figure out what's going on.

It's pretty much a miracle how this guy is even alive. Powerleveling a bit, there was a guy at a place I used to frequent many years ago that had a stroke, he was much younger than Jack, much fitter (just a little belly fat), and he didn't even smoke or drink much as far as I know. One day, he simply stopped showing up to his workplace, turns out he had a stroke and became severely incapacitated. I still don't know what happened to him, but odds are he died by now. Guy was barely in his 40's, reasonably fit, had an active job, and had his life turned upside down (at best), while this lardass goes for a deathwish on his third stroke and is still alive and kicking. What the fuck!

 

[Dambusters' Dog II]

Well, well, well, Boogie's got the cancer, and old man Scalfani's had another stroke. A bad week to be a fat cunt, and that's for sure.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

I don't wish death on Jagoff either. Fuck, I would love to see him getting a redemption arc, finally growing up and admitting he's a shit cook and learning from zero, stop leeching on his loved ones, actually learning from the teachings of Christ and stop being such an asshole. Fuck, it would be something if this guy simply mellowed out and worked towards becoming a nice guy and admitted he's got problems, considering how severe his narcissism is, this would be the equivalent of free climbing a mountain for Jack!

Thinking about it, there are only a few cows that deserve suffering. Mostly the ones that are genuinely awful people and have acted towards hurting others. MovieBob could be redeemed, Jagoff as well, even DSP. These guys didn't kill anyone, try to induce others into suicide or even molest people. Jagoff is pretty much on the limit of redemption, in my view, there are some lines he didn't cross despite coming pretty fucking close!


It's pretty much a miracle how this guy is even alive. Powerleveling a bit, there was a guy at a place I used to frequent many years ago that had a stroke, he was much younger than Jack, much fitter (just a little belly fat), and he didn't even smoke or drink much as far as I know. One day, he simply stopped showing up to his workplace, turns out he had a stroke and became severely incapacitated. I still don't know what happened to him, but odds are he died by now. Guy was barely in his 40's, reasonably fit, had an active job, and had his life turned upside down (at best), while this lardass goes for a deathwish on his third stroke and is still alive and kicking. What the fuck!

I don't know if it's a matter of line crossing for redemption as much as admittance. Of course, redemption doesn't absolve of guilt or responsibility, and that's where a lot of people (and especially cows) get tripped up. You have to be sorry for what you've done to others, not sorry you got caught. Apologies are often to restore/protect the status quo instead of to do right by those you've done wrong.

As for the bit of Jack being alive, I googled "Why Do Fat People Survive Strokes" and the first result is NBC reporting that being very overweight actually improves survivability because fat cells can be burned for energy, increase short-term survival, on top of having some general anti-inflammatory properties. Here's the full article. So yeah, Jack is likely filing upwards (in lack of a better way of putting it) and is being saved by the very thing trying to kill him: his lifestyle. For now, at least...

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Just to add to the absolute trainwreck; while in the ER this is what Jack chose to fucking tweet while possibly having a FOURTH FUCKING STROKE:
View attachment 3881193
So he has a non-zero chance of this tweet being the last thing he fucking posts. His last words might be to demand mommy-wife get him a chicken sandwich before he death gurgles and oozes to the floor.

The Popeyes Chicken Sandwich high score rises once again.

Coming soon from GiveMe Foods: The Best Feeding Tube You'll Every Use.

I hope you keep this typo (if it was one).

As someone that knows people that got fucked up and died from stroke complications while being much fitter than Jack, I have neither sympathy nor surprise at this point. Four fucking strokes and if he survives he’ll just go get fried chicken to celebrate after he’s discharged. We truly live in Clown World.

 

[densedance]

Yeah kinda agree with most of you guys. It's really fucked & really a dystopian situation. Not thinking that he would've have thought about other people that got a stroke & fucking died off it, eventough these people where the total opposite of Jack's "Lifestyle".

But with such a hypocrecy that he & his family lives with that whole "God works" bullshit saga I don't feel really sorry. Again, any normal human being that would've get away with a stroke without complications would've changed his life 180°. But no, not Jack. Dude doesn't give a fuck & is a menace. How does it work with the Medical Bills? Or aren't they such a meme as we from the other side think it would be? (Or maybe even the Church covers it). Oh my God, that guy can't even give his closest relatives a break.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

So, if this is indeed stroke number 3:

1. I hope he recovers. I don't wish death upon people, even fairly awful people.
2. While I don't wish death upon him, he did this to himself harshly (I know, hardly a new statement).
3. How many strokes does it take to paddle across The River Of Styx?

I don't want him to die. I want him to keep living while being wheelchair bound, half of his body no longer works, he's unable to do the most basic of things by himself and needs 24 hour care.

TamHam will put up a brave front but eventually won't be able to take care of him as well as work and everything else so she'll hire a personal caregiver that will also rail her every night and give her a good dicking that she's never been able to get from her fat lump of a husband. And Jagoff will have to sit there in his wheelchair and listen to it knowing that he's become completely useless.

Again, any normal human being that would've get away with a stroke without complications would've changed his life 180°. But no, not Jack. Dude doesn't give a fuck & is a menace.

I know a guy who has a couple kids and is in his mid-30's. Doctor told him he's getting too fat, he's at risk of getting high blood pressure and heart disease and if he doesn't do anything about it will be dead by the time he's 50. So what does he do? He changed his lifestyle that very day. Signed up for the gym, got a personal trainer and literally changed his diet to include more veggies, fish, legumes and reduced all the stuff with saturated fat.

That was five years ago. He's dropped a metric shit-load of weight, his blood work is great and he says he's never felt better in his life. Guy turned his life around because he was concerned he'd die too soon. Jagoff can't even do that because he's addicted to food. That's what he should have been working on. But no. It's easier to go keto, half-ass it and pretend like you're losing weight when you haven't.

The fact that he's not dead yet is a surprise.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I know a guy who has a couple kids and is in his mid-30's. Doctor told him he's getting too fat, he's at risk of getting high blood pressure and heart disease and if he doesn't do anything about it will be dead by the time he's 50.

Out of morbid curiosity, what height/weight was he for the doctor to say that?

 

[ZipDisk]

Do you think Jack would continue doing videos if they took his arm?
Did Jack ever resolve the McRib two parter, or is he leaving it in limbo like the burrito he was supposed to review?
If there were two jacks, eater jack and editor jack, which one would be fired for this?

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

I don't want him to die. I want him to keep living while being wheelchair bound, half of his body no longer works, he's unable to do the most basic of things by himself and needs 24 hour care.

TamHam will put up a brave front but eventually won't be able to take care of him as well as work and everything else so she'll hire a personal caregiver that will also rail her every night and give her a good dicking that she's never been able to get from her fat lump of a husband. And Jagoff will have to sit there in his wheelchair and listen to it knowing that he's become completely useless.


I know a guy who has a couple kids and is in his mid-30's. Doctor told him he's getting too fat, he's at risk of getting high blood pressure and heart disease and if he doesn't do anything about it will be dead by the time he's 50. So what does he do? He changed his lifestyle that very day. Signed up for the gym, got a personal trainer and literally changed his diet to include more veggies, fish, legumes and reduced all the stuff with saturated fat.

That was five years ago. He's dropped a metric shit-load of weight, his blood work is great and he says he's never felt better in his life. Guy turned his life around because he was concerned he'd die too soon. Jagoff can't even do that because he's addicted to food. That's what he should have been working on. But no. It's easier to go keto, half-ass it and pretend like you're losing weight when you haven't.

The fact that he's not dead yet is a surprise.

God bless you.

 

[densedance]

I know a guy

I mean the Director at the place I worked at (elderly home institution) had a stroke & was in stationary for quite a time. He basicaly had no negative side effects or anything from that, but it was still very very suprising because he was "just your average late 40 year old joe" (He didn't had an excessive lifestyle. He didn't smoke like a chimney or drank like crazy. I highly doubt that he even would've touched anything unhealthy during that time). But as life is, it just happened. As far as I remember he only had some issues with long time concentration.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Two hours ago on the comments for the "Pray for me" post:

Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time.

 

[Lenzperkins]

Allowing him to have health insurance and allowing him to eat whatever he wants. Tammy is probably accelerating his demise.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Allowing him to have health insurance and allowing him to eat whatever he wants. Tammy is probably accelerating his demise.

"In my office"
This nigga...

I, for one, am glad Jack the Immortal continues to live on; this thread is my main reason to continue to check KF. I don't want to have to find a new cow.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

Allowing him to have health insurance and allowing him to eat whatever he wants. Tammy is probably accelerating his demise.

never realized how badly Big T’s hairline is receding

 

[Kosher Salt]

Damn, I was really hoping for the tube-feeding BaconUp quadriplegia arc. This fat nigga really gonna blame his ER visit on stress though?

 

[Harambe]

you gotta keep your cows diverse my dude, deathfats can drop at any moment

"In my office"
This nigga...

I, for one, am glad Jack the Immortal continues to live on; this thread is my main reason to continue to check KF. I don't want to have to find a new cow.

 

[ZipDisk]

They tell him he had a stroke, he tells them they're wrong, and where's the sauce? The Marinara needs to be HOT and the guacamole needs to be COLD.
And his Coffee needs to be filled NOW!

Doctor says a cup of Coffee could kill him, and they need to run extensive tests to assess the damage.

Jack says he doesn't know anything and signs himself out AMA. Tammy just stands there like a coat rack.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Maybe if we're lucky Jack will now have no arms.View attachment 3879975

Holy shit, is it finally the day?! Will the Wendigo return to the spirit realm?! Is there hope for HOPE?
I haven't checked this thread in a while but i've been waiting for this day ever since the first time i watched a Jack video posted on /ck/.

Edit:

Two hours ago on the comments for the "Pray for me" post:
View attachment 3885090
Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time.

Awww, damn.

Allowing him to have health insurance and allowing him to eat whatever he wants. Tammy is probably accelerating his demise.

Dude, if looks could kill. She married the retard but, man, you can see she's been done with him for years.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Damn, I was really hoping for the tube-feeding BaconUp quadriplegia arc. This fat nigga really gonna blame his ER visit on stress though?

He's accidentally correct because being morbidly obese does put the heart under a massive amount of stress.

 

[salmonellajack]

Wow. So number 4 finally hit. Maybe this will be the wake up call he finally needs to chan.... Oh forget it.