Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Mr Moonface]

Trump is getting his twitter back. Our special piglet reacts:

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

Reverse oopsie doodles

 

[Mr Moonface]

It's going to be a long day for our piglet:

 

[Next Task]

What a fucking Chad. 7/10 would maybe bang on a drunk night.
Guess someone didn’t totally strike out in the Tomlinson genetic lottery.

After finding out about Kyle, and the information about Pat's cousins a couple of hundred pages back, I'm thinking that the Tomlinson genetic lottery is actually pretty strong, just all the fuckups landed on Pat. He's the Danny DeVito in Twins of the entire Tomlinson family.

 

[grapeshark77]

Now would be the time for Pat to quit Twitter - the guy running it (who he hates) just brought back Trump (who he also hates) and clearly lied about the process of restoring accounts. By his standards, this is now a toxic right-wing platform.

The reality is that Pat can't leave, he's tweeting more than ever and helping Elon with engagement, and he's refreshing Trump's page waiting to see if he'll send something new so he can quote-tweet it with "Fuck off, child".

 

[JustStopDude]

I love it when Patrick bitches about bots on Twitter. Bro, you also constantly bitch whenever Twitter mass bans obvious bots and your number of followers drop.

This is like Patrick bitching about being fat. Put down the fucking fork.

 

[AnOminous]

I love it when Patrick bitches about bots on Twitter. Bro, you also constantly bitch whenever Twitter mass bans obvious bots and your number of followers drop.

This is like Patrick bitching about being fat. Put down the fucking fork.

It would be funny if the bot catching bot decides he's a bot, because he acts more botlike than most bots.

 

[Mr Moonface]

The best part about Trump being back?



Pat paid $5k to get his ban reversed but couldn't get his checkmark back.
Trump paid nothing and is verified again.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

You're saying the Bard of Avon is unknown to the the Lard of Milwaukee, professional published author of 6 books? I agree. Piggy is profoundly ignorant in all things involving the written word.

Despite his never to be forthcoming rip-off of "A Christmas Carol", if you asked Patso if he recognized himself in any of the "Sketches by Boz", he would have no idea what you meant. He's never read even one paragraph of Dickens.

Regarding literature in general, Patso thinks;
- "A Farewell to Arms" is a horror story about amputation. Won't read. Might trigger his castration anxiety.
- "Moby Dick" is porn, obviously. Won't read. Intimidated by the idea of a large penis. Might bring back memories of the Lappening and the late Pringle Can John, may he R.I.P.
- "The Story of O" is about the discovery/invention of zero as a mathematical concept. Won't read. The Lard doesn't do Math. It makes his thinkin' meats hurt.
- "War and Peace" is a textbook. Won't read. Gen. Fatton knows more about War than some Russian Count. Doesn't need a tutorial. Also, count, that's a numbers thing. Numbers are a no go.
- "All the King's Men" has something to do with an anthropomorphic egg. Won't read. Doesn't like eggs. Eggs make him angry. They remind him of his own face and body shape, and a childhood trauma involving chickens.
- "Le Morte d'Arthur" is the final chapter in the life of that Dudley Moore character. Didn't like the movies, so wouldn't like the book. Dudley was even less funny than Norm, thus thinketh The Lard.
-"À la Recherche du Temps Perdu" is a history about that chicken raising family, the Perdues. Won't read. The Lard has an irrational fear of chickens. Stems from a childhood trauma.
-"The Divine Comedy" is about Yahweh's stand-up act. Won't read. Doesn't think God, like Norm, is funny.
-"One Hundred Years of Solitude" is a story about life in prison. Won't read. Doesn't care to know what happens to the atalkers once they are incarcerated. Also, numbers. Big numbers intimidate The Lard. Sometimes, there are incontinence issues.
-"Lolita" is about a young girl's life. Won't read. His friend Paul Weimer says Lolita was too old to be interesting. Paul knows a few things.
-"The Odyssey" is written by that Simpson's character. Won't read. Isn't interested in any on-the-road story by a fat, stupid guy.
-"The Catcher in the Rye" is about a baseball player's alcoholism. Won't read. Doesn't want to confront his own dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, not even by proxy.
-"Pride and Prejudice" is about the fight for gay rights. Won't read. The Lard is still in denial about himself and doesn't want to face uncomfortable truths.
-"Catch-22" is about the difficulty in counting past 21. Won't read, has enough trouble counting to 21 what with the difficulty in locating his baby carrot under his fat rolls.
-"Nineteen Eighty Four" is about 2 big numbers and one small number. Won't read. Big numbers=big scary.

Certainly there are many more works of literature (read: all of them) That The Lard of Milwaukee has not, nor will ever, read.

Any southern gothic novel because the characters would remind him of himself, and according to Pat, Pat is not a failure, child.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Now would be the time for Pat to quit Twitter - the guy running it (who he hates) just brought back Trump (who he also hates) and clearly lied about the process of restoring accounts. By his standards, this is now a toxic right-wing platform.

The nazis are sitting at the head of the table, in a restaurant that a nazi owns. If you stay seated at the table, Pat, it means you're now a nazi enabler and a nazi yourself. Sorry Pat, I didn't make that rule, that was all the Left's doing.

Bro, just start your own twitter. Better get cracking on learning to code and hitting up venture capitalists for seed money. What's that, seed money is disappearing and the VC techbros are slashing jobs and putting up huge losses? Oh noooooooo!!!

 

[AnOminous]

Any southern gothic novel because the characters would remind him of himself, and according to Pat, Pat is not a failure, child.

He's also just plain too dumb to read Faulkner. It's above his 1.2 GPA reading level.

 

[John_Smith]

Patso would loose a battle of wits to Benjy Compson. Benjy is the narrator of the first section of Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury". Ask the internet about him if you don't already know.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

Good time to remember Pat's advice to people expressing discontent with the state of Twitter, 2020


But not Mama Raven's special boy, he's not "ceding ground"

 

[Ophelia]

“Ryan Stalker” made me laugh way more than it should. Then the list of books Pat wouldn’t read made me laugh again. Good show, friends.

The crazy thing about Pat’s whining about fascism and Trump and Elon is he’s not the only one doing it. If I ever found myself acting like someone as stupid as our boy, I’d take a step back and reevaluate my position.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

What should I dilate?

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

What should I dilate?
View attachment 3897792

he could try dilating his clothes so they aren’t so fucking tight on his FAT body.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Trump is getting his twitter back. Our special piglet reacts:

View attachment 3896646

You'd think a guy with so many billions like Elmo would be better able to "maximize chaos in the service of fascism" than just unban from a single platform an easily blocked shitposter who has become bitterly obsessed about the 2020 election to the exclusion of most anything else.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

Dilation saga continued

Patrick S. Tomlinson on Twitter: "@TortugaReturns What should I dilat…

archived 20 Nov 2022 06:31:28 UTC

archive.fo

"Waiting." HAHAHAH I'm perplexed at how his 1.7 brain works, over an hour after asking he thinks "that person from an hour ago STILL owes me an explanation about what he meant by me dilating, better reach out to remind them!"

I hope he's drunk because if he's doing this sober it's even sadder.

 

[Path Wanderer]

Patrick with Twitter is like Wheatley with control over the Aperture facility
"I AM NOT A MORON [child]! *shoves one liners in your face* COULD A MORON DO THAT?!"

 

[JustStopDude]

Dilation saga continued
View attachment 3898254

Patrick S. Tomlinson on Twitter: "@TortugaReturns What should I dilat…

archived 20 Nov 2022 06:31:28 UTC

archive.fo

"Waiting." HAHAHAH I'm perplexed at how his 1.7 brain works, over an hour after asking he thinks "that person from an hour ago STILL owes me an explanation about what he meant by me dilating, better reach out to remind them!"

I hope he's drunk because if he's doing this sober it's even sadder.

To be fair, tweeting replies to himself is pretty much the only way he gets interaction on his tweets.

It's also hilarious how he is pretending he hasn't already blocked that account.