Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[Snekposter]

Last we checked they had run through their 1+ million crowdfunded budget and bitching that wypypo weren't buying the book.

Yeah, I think they put out a plea that boiled down to "Okay white people, I know we originally said this game wasn't for you, but after some careful consideration (of our financial situation) we have decided that its totally for you as long as you play in a totally respectful manner and don't even think of attempting to insert anything the least bit European into it."

Can't imagine why there'd be zero takers.

 

[ComStar]

I think he's talking about this shit https://www.dicebreaker.com/games/coyote-and-crow/feature/coyote-and-crow-rpg-preview-impressions

Still ready to roll up my character Big Chief Firewater.

Would it be awfully racist and disruptive of me to roll a Moche priest and spend my days either worshipping The Decapitator* or making very intricate pottery** depicting anal sex?

This is after all a game about celebrating native culture, and i wish to pay homage to some of the noble but forgotten natives of South America.

*In short: torture, bloodletting, human sacrifice, cannibalism. Plains indians count coup, moche torture and kill, then deflesh the skeleton and display it.

**Wikipedia: At least 500 Moche ceramics have sexual themes. The most frequently depicted act is anal sex, with scenes of vaginal penetration being very rare. Most pairs are heterosexual, with carefully carved genitalia to show that the anus, rather than the vagina, is being penetrated.

Seriously now, even without the anal sex, Moche pottery is awesome.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Yeah, I think they put out a plea that boiled down to "Okay white people, I know we originally said this game wasn't for you, but after some careful consideration (of our financial situation) we have decided that its totally for you as long as you play in a totally respectful manner and don't even think of attempting to insert anything the least bit European into it."

Can't imagine why there'd be zero takers.

What confuses me is that they want absolutely no European influence at all, they also don't want any of wypypo in the setting or have at least implied it. So imagine if you will that said wypypo buy the setting and sit down to play a nice rousing game Coyote and Crow. Wouldn't that just be a bunch of white people sitting around pretending to be a group of injuns? Also what percentage of Cherokee do I need to pretend to have in order to play successfully? When is it okay to start bopping my palm against my mouth to go, "YOBOBOBOBOBO"?

I played a session of Cyberpunk 2077 a little while back and the random character generation also made sure to include your race. It very specifically did that and I think it was to have some kind of inclusive thing going on with it, but since we were a bunch of white guys it came of as really weird, at least to me.

 

[JJLiautaud]

I think he's talking about this shit https://www.dicebreaker.com/games/coyote-and-crow/feature/coyote-and-crow-rpg-preview-impressions

Still ready to roll up my character Big Chief Firewater.

Yeah thats the one. Glad to see the indians living up to type now all we need is a staff member to sell off the ip for drinking money and a handful of beads.

 

[Wormy]

So another RPG where you'd rather play as a Corporation character, just gunning down hippies and injuns in what remains of the Amazon. Spare me the "lungs of the earth" bullshit, WE NEED THAT MANGANESE!

Freak Legion. Still one of the greatest one shots I played. We were all noob First Team recruits dumped into the middle of an inner city gang war and just told "Get back to base" as our initiation. Imagine The Warriors with Fomori powers, good stuff. Also reminded you that normies are still threats when they have a lot of guns and the temerity to use them.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Didn't Big Heap RiPoffG also fail to produce all the additional copies donors paid for so various Native libraries could have a copy of their seminal work?

 

[Meat Target]

Today, we had a D&D session which featured an expy of Chris as a boss.

We had to rescue some fairy chick from a cage in "the mansion of a famous mage named Bob Chandler".

When I made the connection before the encounter properly started, I lost my shit, and the DM (also laughing) told me to shut up, lest I spoil it.

The encounter involved fighting off sex mannequins and Sonichus that attempted to rape us. The captive fairy chick made not-Chris "practice" on the sex dolls before taking her. We ran in on him "practicing" on Barb.

Once we had put Barb out of her misery, freed the fairy chick (the key was the Sonichu medal), and put Chris in it, Bob entered the room and thanked us for freeing him from his suffering.

 

[Gingervitis]

Today, we had a D&D session which featured an expy of Chris as a boss.

We had to rescue some fairy chick from a cage in "the mansion of a famous mage named Bob Chandler".

When I made the connection before the encounter properly started, I lost my shit, and the DM (also laughing) told me to shut up, lest I spoil it.

The encounter involved fighting off sex mannequins and Sonichus that attempted to rape us. The captive fairy chick made not-Chris "practice" on the sex dolls before taking her. We ran in on him "practicing" on Barb.

Once we had put Barb out of her misery, freed the fairy chick (the key was the Sonichu medal), and put Chris in it, Bob entered the room and thanked us for freeing him from his suffering.

Fake, but based if true

 

[Meat Target]

Fake, but based if true

I'd swear on a stack of Bibles it's true.

I don't know how much our DM knows about the Farms, but he is definitely familiar with Christory.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I'd swear on a stack of Bibles it's true.

I don't know how much our DM knows about the Farms, but he is definitely familiar with Christory.

I put thinly veiled lolcows into my games all the time. This will be a dead giveaway to anyone who might be my irl friend and might be reading this thread but if you are you're evil just like me so I don't care. My favorite is based on Wings of Redemption. I have a story for you all...

Long ago there were four mortals that ascended to godhood, murdering old gods and stealing scraps of their mantles (a story for another time). When they did the world was forced to adjust. Some of the races had to accommodate this change in cosmic power, some saw opportunity. Some races, such as the gnolls found a god beyond foul Yeenoghu and embraced the new God of Laughter (who is lawful evil and never laughs) for example. Others worshiped different ones and others still moved on finding their on path.

And then there were the Ogres...

The Ogres, who never really had a god to call their on were mad that they were forgotten in this great purge. In their wrath they screamed at the heavens at another of the new gods. The one that gets blamed for everything after the change. Kezlats, the God of Conflict.

The screamed at Kezlats "WE OGRE WE WANT GOD!"

Kezlats looked down upon them and said, "You cause much conflict let me be your god."

The ogres were angry and responded, "NO! OGRE GOD!"

Keslats, offered several other options. The new god of nature, the new god of laughter, the old gold of war and grim battle and many others. All of his suggestions were met with the same response. "NO! FUCK YOU KEZLATS! WE WANT OGRE GOD!"

Endlessly frustrated Kezlats gave up a small bit of his divine power and found a disgusting mire, then dug his divine hand into it and pulled out a gross pile of goo and tossed it into the hills where it was granted a spark of the divine. Kezlats looked down upon the ogres and bellowed, "THERE! HIS NAMES JORBIE! HE'S THE GOD OF THE OGRES! NOW FUCK OFF!"

The ogres hate Jorbie. Jorbie hates the ogres. The only way the ogres get any divine power from Jorbie is through antagonizing him and making him upset. The ogres refuse to worship any other god unless it is an elaborate ploy to piss off Jorbie. Jorbie just sits in his astral realm trying his best to use his magic scepter to manipulate battles on the prime material only to end up throwing it against a wall in anger at is ogre worshipers calling him a fat retard. Thus, the ogres found themselves in perpetual conflict with their own god. Jorbie unable to exist without the ogres fucking with him, and the ogres unable to stop fucking with him without falling into irrelevance once again.

It's just wings and the retarded people that go out of their way to fuck with him but it the group seemed to like it.

 

[Pendulous Dong]

some

Endlessly frustrated Kezlats gave up a small bit of his divine power and found a disgusting mire, then dug his divine hand into it and pulled out a gross pile of goo and tossed it into the hills where it was granted a spark of the divine. Kezlats looked down upon the ogres and bellowed, "THERE! HIS NAMES JORBIE! HE'S THE GOD OF THE OGRES! NOW FUCK OFF!"

The ogres hate Jorbie. Jorbie hates the ogres. The only way the ogres get any divine power from Jorbie is through antagonizing him and making him upset. The ogres refuse to worship any other god unless it is an elaborate ploy to piss off Jorbie. Jorbie just sits in his astral realm trying his best to use his magic scepter to manipulate battles on the prime material only to end up throwing it against a wall in anger at is ogre worshipers calling him a fat retard. Thus, the ogres found themselves in perpetual conflict with their own god. Jorbie unable to exist without the ogres fucking with him, and the ogres unable to stop fucking with him without falling into irrelevance once again.

Somehow your divine lump of goop is more sympathetic than the real Jordie. I wanna give him a hug, he didn't choose his awful existence.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

I put thinly veiled lolcows into my games all the time. This will be a dead giveaway to anyone who might be my irl friend and might be reading this thread but if you are you're evil just like me so I don't care. My favorite is based on Wings of Redemption. I have a story for you all...

Long ago there were four mortals that ascended to godhood, murdering old gods and stealing scraps of their mantles (a story for another time). When they did the world was forced to adjust. Some of the races had to accommodate this change in cosmic power, some saw opportunity. Some races, such as the gnolls found a god beyond foul Yeenoghu and embraced the new God of Laughter (who is lawful evil and never laughs) for example. Others worshiped different ones and others still moved on finding their on path.

And then there were the Ogres...

The Ogres, who never really had a god to call their on were mad that they were forgotten in this great purge. In their wrath they screamed at the heavens at another of the new gods. The one that gets blamed for everything after the change. Kezlats, the God of Conflict.

The screamed at Kezlats "WE OGRE WE WANT GOD!"

Kezlats looked down upon them and said, "You cause much conflict let me be your god."

The ogres were angry and responded, "NO! OGRE GOD!"

Keslats, offered several other options. The new god of nature, the new god of laughter, the old gold of war and grim battle and many others. All of his suggestions were met with the same response. "NO! FUCK YOU KEZLATS! WE WANT OGRE GOD!"

Endlessly frustrated Kezlats gave up a small bit of his divine power and found a disgusting mire, then dug his divine hand into it and pulled out a gross pile of goo and tossed it into the hills where it was granted a spark of the divine. Kezlats looked down upon the ogres and bellowed, "THERE! HIS NAMES JORBIE! HE'S THE GOD OF THE OGRES! NOW FUCK OFF!"

The ogres hate Jorbie. Jorbie hates the ogres. The only way the ogres get any divine power from Jorbie is through antagonizing him and making him upset. The ogres refuse to worship any other god unless it is an elaborate ploy to piss off Jorbie. Jorbie just sits in his astral realm trying his best to use his magic scepter to manipulate battles on the prime material only to end up throwing it against a wall in anger at is ogre worshipers calling him a fat retard. Thus, the ogres found themselves in perpetual conflict with their own god. Jorbie unable to exist without the ogres fucking with him, and the ogres unable to stop fucking with him without falling into irrelevance once again.

It's just wings and the retarded people that go out of their way to fuck with him but it the group seemed to like it.

I should file that down and use it myself.

I've always found a lot of fun is to make the Gods more like Xena and Hercules TV shows in an AD&D setting. The HP totals are just what their avatars can handle.

Having players pile on Ares and start kicking his ass for cheating at cards while he laughs uproariously has been pretty fun in games.

"The Gods are fucking dicks." - Player

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Something I've noticed with a lot of wokeshit tabletop games; it seems that almost every single one always has normal, baseline humans as the stand-ins for right-wingers/wypypo. For instance, Eclipse Phase has the Jovians/Bioconservatives, Shadowrun has Humanis and the Knight Templar, World of Darkness: Vampire 5th Edition has the Second Inquisition... Seriously, the only tabletop game that I've found that doesn't have humans as the designated right-wingers is, of all fucking games, Hc Svnt Dracones, with its Palemen race, and even then they still kinda fit; they're a race of eldritch things created by humanity to murder the shit out of furries.

Anybody else ever seen a wokeshit tabletop that didn't have normal humans as the political whipping boys?

 

[Ghostse]

a race of eldritch things created by humanity to murder the shit out of furries.

Fucking based

 

[Hummingbird]

Something I've noticed with a lot of wokeshit tabletop games; it seems that almost every single one always has normal, baseline humans as the stand-ins for right-wingers/wypypo. For instance, Eclipse Phase has the Jovians/Bioconservatives, Shadowrun has Humanis and the Knight Templar, World of Darkness: Vampire 5th Edition has the Second Inquisition... Seriously, the only tabletop game that I've found that doesn't have humans as the designated right-wingers is, of all fucking games, Hc Svnt Dracones, with its Palemen race, and even then they still kinda fit; they're a race of eldritch things created by humanity to murder the shit out of furries.

Anybody else ever seen a wokeshit tabletop that didn't have normal humans as the political whipping boys?

IF I remember correctly, in 5th ed. Ravenloft, all the races seem to get along now to the point that one of Tatayana's incarnations can be a male Dragonborn and Strahd won't care.

 

[anti SJW]

Link to tweet.




Excellent.

 

[Scream Aim Fire]

Fucking based

Yeah, the Palemen in HSD are easily the most based thing in the game, period. Story-wise, they were created by the dying human race to get revenge on the furries and their beloved corporate leaders; mankind eventually perished, but the Palemen managed to survive the up until the present day. By the time the main game even rolls around, the Palemen aren't even really trying to avenge humanity any more, they're all just trying to survive in a universe that was slowly dying to the shit the furfags keep pulling; whereas the furfags get to live in an anarcho-capitalist "paradise" where dog-fucking loons get to live in idle pleasure and the corps are regularly destroying parts of the universe with nightmarish horrors, the Palemen are building simple societies on the nuked-out remains of Earth and generally just trying to keep their homes and families alive.

Naturally, since the corporations can't control them, then that means that the Palemen are supposed to be these evil hate sinks that we should kill without question. Playing a villain campaign as a Paleman is an absolute blast; partially because you get to murder the hell out of furfags, partially because the Palemen have to actually work to really get anything good and have actual long-term goals.

Basically, what I'm saying is; playing as a human character murdering the hell out of wokie-stand-ins and furries is fun and all, but it gets boring having to play a human in literally every damn game; I'm pretty sure Guild Wars 2 is the only other game that I've seen that has non-human characters as stand-ins for right-wingers.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Link to tweet.


View attachment 3920853

Excellent.

iwanttobelieve.jpg

Still, if true, it pleases me and gives me hope.

 

[Brain Problems]

IF I remember correctly, in 5th ed. Ravenloft, all the races seem to get along now to the point that one of Tatayana's incarnations can be a male Dragonborn and Strahd won't care.

The Tatyana thing is interesting because I think lore-wise Strahd does not give a fuck what form of reincarnation is currently there, he's just obsessed with the original that's lurking in the background so I don't mind in principle the thought behind him ignoring the physical nature of whoever Tatyana is currently, provided the DM isn't just doing some sort of lazy progressive swap for political reasons/shock value. There's also room for extra leniency because vampires have some solid historical background as being degenerate horndogs that will fuck anything and when you've been (un)alive for hundreds of years you start to mix it up a bit I reckon.

The part that bugs me and that I wish the new editions kept was the notion that Barovians are racist, superstitious people that live in constant fear thanks to a capricious and all -seeing Devil looming above them 24/7. The idea of a Diverse™ party of adventurers just rolling into a magically secluded valley and interacting with people who don't know wtf a Tiefling or Dragonborn is (outside of friend of a friend's horrible experiences and dark rumours) and expecting villagers and townfolk to just act like this is Waterdeep and mundane so no one cares is silly. This extends to the neutering of the Vistani to appeal to modern day sensibilities.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

The Tatyana thing is interesting because I think lore-wise Strahd does not give a fuck what form of reincarnation is currently there, he's just obsessed with the original that's lurking in the background so I don't mind in principle the thought behind him ignoring the physical nature of whoever Tatyana is currently, provided the DM isn't just doing some sort of lazy progressive swap for political reasons/shock value. There's also room for extra leniency because vampires have some solid historical background as being degenerate horndogs that will fuck anything and when you've been (un)alive for hundreds of years you start to mix it up a bit I reckon.

The part that bugs me and that I wish the new editions kept was the notion that Barovians are racist, superstitious people that live in constant fear thanks to a capricious and all -seeing Devil looming above them 24/7. The idea of a Diverse™ party of adventurers just rolling into a magically secluded valley and interacting with people who don't know wtf a Tiefling or Dragonborn is (outside of friend of a friend's horrible experiences and dark rumours) and expecting villagers and townfolk to just act like this is Waterdeep and mundane so no one cares is silly. This extends to the neutering of the Vistani to appeal to modern day sensibilities.

Yeah, the problem with Barovians being totally reasonable, open minded Modern Day Sensibility types is that it's completely at odds with how xenophobia, paranoia, and Gothic horror work. If people were that mellow and unified, Strahd wouldn't be able to control them.