Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Jack, all your recipes are rip offs.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

>look in the description below for baking instructions
Even when he manages to not fuck up the food, he fucks up the video.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

I like how Tammy messes with him when he tries to add the lemon zest into the batter. She is tired of Jack's shit.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Why does he do this!?

View attachment 3915063

Is this just something we all subconsciously do, but it’s only noticeable here because Jack is just overtly disgusting?

It's because he's imagining it's a big black dick like the one that TamHam gets from Jim Traynor. Think about it. When somebody is getting ready to gobble your knob that's exactly the action that takes place. Tongue goes out, mouth goes on.

This is why we say that he was gay, TamHam cured him of this by transferring his love of big sweaty dicks in his mouth to food. So Jagoff is literally imagining that it's Jim Traynor ready to shove his cock down Jagoff's throat.

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

Every single recipe he makes he always says the same thing, "it looks beautiful" when it never does. His fucking loaf looks like shit. That and when he was pouring it into the pan it was lumpy. A batter like this needs to be smooth.

And while it called for a cup of sour cream, TamHam used at least two.

 

[Adamska]

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

I really never understood his obsession over Starbucks, since it was never cool and much like those open mouthed chimp faces is the opposite image Jack wants to pretend he is to the world. I guess it has to do with the fact that it both has strong burnt flavor from the roast and you can turn it into sugar water? It's just baffling to me.

As for the recipe, all I can say is that I expect there to be a lot of grit, grain, and dough lumps given how good that batter looked when he plopped it into the pan.

 

[p1138]

I really never understood his obsession over Starbucks, since it was never cool and much like those open mouthed chimp faces is the opposite image Jack wants to pretend he is to the world. I guess it has to do with the fact that it both has strong burnt flavor from the roast and you can turn it into sugar water? It's just baffling to me.

The calorie content of the average starbucks drink once people are done adding shit to it is precisely why he likes it. We're talking about a man whose 4 food groups consist of grease, cheese, meat, and sweet. He has no actual sense of taste, that's why everything is "A-, gud". It's the same reason most of his focus on "keto" was trying to get sugar free replacements for the garbage he consumes, it's the same reason he was so hyped up about monk fruit. If he were somehow no longer able to eat cheese without falling over dead(the sugar thing was likely never about keto, more about the beetus), he'd be all over cheese substitutes within a week.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

If he were somehow no longer able to eat cheese without falling over dead(the sugar thing was likely never about keto, more about the beetus), he'd be all over cheese substitutes within a week.

To be fair cheese is awesome and I wouldn't want to live in a place where you couldn't get it. People might say, "why not eat vegan cheese" to which I say, "why don't I just eat directly from the toilet then?". Vegan cheese isn't cheese. It tastes like something a person with no sense of taste would come up with after being told what cheese is and this is their interpretation. If you've ever eaten vegan cheese then you know what evil tastes like.

But yeah Jagoff would be all over that like a big old plate of brisket.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

I would love for Jack and Moviebob to share a hospital room after getting strokes at a discount Dave and Busters.

It would be fucking hilarious if we got a crossover between those two lardasses, preferably on a very strong room lol!

Jagoff is one of the few guys that make MovieBlob look like the smartest guy in the room, and they are both very similar to each other (being fat, narcissistic assholes with severely delusional worldviews), while being polar opposites (Jagoff is precisely Bob's vision of the "Obsolete", in the Flesh, and Jagoff probably would see Blob as a walking strawman of an evil liberal). One wears the vestments of a cultured, politically enlightened critic, a cosmopolitan liberal futurist, and the other dresses the garb of the traditional, christian redneck who cooks up a storm for the folks at church. None of them fit the reality of those idiots, but don't you try to tell them so lol!

I would give them five minutes until they start fighting and roll down on the floor, probably crashing down to the lobby soon after!

 

[AnOminous]

I guess it has to do with the fact that it both has strong burnt flavor from the roast and you can turn it into sugar water? It's just baffling to me.

Pretty much that. Dark roast is often used to camouflage mediocre beans because their supplies are inconsistent (they are usually going for cheap shit) and when you dark roast, flavors tend to run together. There are a few exceptions of coffees that take well to it (like Ethiopian Yrgacheffe) but generally, if you have good beans, you're better with a medium roast or less to retain the character of the beans.

And another way to mask shitty coffee is to turn it into muddy sugar water, which Starbucks also does.

If you ever order just a plain coffee from this shitty operation, you can tell they rarely if ever wash their machines because they taste like shit most of the time, not just from their shitty beans and their shitty roast, but also their shitty machines full of bitter old coffee residues.

So of course a lout like Jack would be obsessed with them.

I'm not even saying this as a huge coffee snob. I think Wal-Mart's K-cup knockoff of Dunkin's coffee is actually reasonably good, for example. But Starcuck's is just awful, overpriced swill. Even McDonald's is better (actually it is pretty good period without even having to compare it to that shit).

 

[Pig Cups]

Why does he do this!?

View attachment 3915063

Is this just something we all subconsciously do, but it’s only noticeable here because Jack is just overtly disgusting?

He reminds me of Jesus Quintana from The Big Lebowski when he does the fucking tongue action these days. Just horrendous..

 

[anliteralidiot]

Is it bad I was hoping for a third/fourth stroke? I don't want him to die, I was just hopeful.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Is it bad I was hoping for a third/fourth stroke? I don't want him to die, I was just hopeful.

Do you really want his other arm to go out so he's forced to cook his food with nothing but his mouth? Is that something you want to watch?

Because that's not something I want to watch.

 

[AnOminous]

Do you really want his other arm to go out so he's forced to cook his food with nothing but his mouth? Is that something you want to watch?

 

[p1138]

To be fair cheese is awesome and I wouldn't want to live in a place where you couldn't get it. People might say, "why not eat vegan cheese" to which I say, "why don't I just eat directly from the toilet then?". Vegan cheese isn't cheese. It tastes like something a person with no sense of taste would come up with after being told what cheese is and this is their interpretation. If you've ever eaten vegan cheese then you know what evil tastes like.

But yeah Jagoff would be all over that like a big old plate of brisket.

Sure, but that's because you and I have a sense of taste. Fatty on the other hand doesn't care other than to consume calories. That's why I said his watery chili is probably his ideal food, it's drinkable and the only thing it's missing is copius amounts of sugar or something that tastes like it to him(sugar substitutes are also fucking awful).

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[ZipDisk]

Chorton is correct, Obese people do the tongue shovel thing to jam food down the throat faster. I believe it was actually TamHam who was noticed doing it first, but then people realized Jack does it all the time.

If you've ever had the unpleasant experience of sitting next to an obese person who is about to gorge, they also flare their nose like a cow before the first bite. I'm not sure why that is, but I presume they're pressing the air out to get more fud in.

As to artificial cheeses, Jack has already thrown a fit when he bought 100% cellulose mozzarella instead of the 50% wood pulp shreddy pillow.

Ironically enough, the lactose free cheese bags tend to be labeled "Shreds" because they can't call it cheese.

 

[AskeDead]

after reading here that he's a deeply closeted homosexual i can see why he's so stressed. wearing tammy as a beard while you secretly want to suck cocks and hate yourself for it due to your religion can be extremely stressful, i suppose.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Pretty much that. Dark roast is often used to camouflage mediocre beans because their supplies are inconsistent (they are usually going for cheap shit) and when you dark roast, flavors tend to run together. There are a few exceptions of coffees that take well to it (like Ethiopian Yrgacheffe) but generally, if you have good beans, you're better with a medium roast or less to retain the character of the beans.

And another way to mask shitty coffee is to turn it into muddy sugar water, which Starbucks also does.

Precisely, there's this entire mystique built over drinking the darkest, roasted to ashes coffee in some cultures and it's motivated precisely because of that reason, to mask the taste of bad quality coffee. It's even more jarring once you realize it's awfully common on countries that produce a good deal of coffee, meaning the good stuff gets exported and the bad stuff is sold at the local markets!

Recently, there's been plenty of talk about coffee being a wine-like beverage, in the sense that it's a more refined, sophisticated drink with plenty of undertones than most people realize. Jagoff being an asshole about that is no surprise, snobs are fucking annoying but most guys that have a "my way or the highway" attitude about food (like Jagoff) are also snobs, but with shit taste. If you have one guy like that in your workplace, it quickly becomes a problem. Powerleveling a bit, I worked with a guy like that and his coffee was always the worst, he only liked it roasted to shit (might as well fucking cremate the coffee at that point), without any cream or sugar, whenever I saw him around the pot I made a point of having an energy drink instead, it was that fucking bad!

after reading here that he's a deeply closeted homosexual i can see why he's so stressed. wearing tammy as a beard while you secretly want to suck cocks and hate yourself for it due to your religion can be extremely stressful, i suppose.

I don't judge Jack for being a closeted gay guy, just like I don't judge Nick Fuentes over it. I judge them over being assholes about it, these guys would be so much happier and make their lives less miserable if they accepted themselves or simply stopped being such assholes. Jack is a bad person, but Nick is a genuinely malign asshole of a human being, so while I feel that they should grow out of it, their toil isn't unwarranted!

Do you really want his other arm to go out so he's forced to cook his food with nothing but his mouth? Is that something you want to watch?

Because that's not something I want to watch.

Would it even be possible? I'm sure that some disabled people are capable of doing it, some people who lost their arms are plenty capable of using their feet for such tasks after adapting to it, but Jagoff is barely able to handle himself as is. For Jagoff to adapt himself, it would take years of a rigid regime with a strict diet and fitness plan, and he won't do that considering how he can't adhere to a simple diet plan that worked for his own wife!

 

[boxybum]

Jack is really struggling here. Was this filmed after the most recent medical episode?

He keeps repeating "if you don't like lemon cut the lemon" why the fuck would you make a LEMON loaf if you don't like lemon?