I'm like a 4/10 at best with a muscular frame, so I look for other 4/10s and chicks that look like they almost have physical disorders. I'm not ashamed or proud of this, it's just fucking survival for a guy that looks like me. Just make sure you're fit and hygienic, and for the love of god, get a haircut.
Anyway, there's this chick that looks like a real axe-wound, (I say that 'cause I'm not much better), and she's all gums with a fair amount of facial hair. I'm totally cool with this, because now I associate hideously ugly women with ejaculation. Technically all my sex stories are embarrassing, but whatever.
I met her at the library in my college. She dressed like your typical grunge-era girl, which is strange 'cause this was like two years ago and she was a year younger than me. Anyway, I commented on a book she was reading and we got to talking. I invited her to a little get-together I was having with some buddies, and she agreed. I'll gloss over how the party went, but we ended up in an intimate situation. I was a little surprised, considering it was just one date, but I happily agreed.
Well, we're getting into the thick of it all, and I realized I couldn't get it up. I had a lot to drink, so I guess the pipes just weren't running right. So, I immediately panicked, 'cause I don't want her to think it's her fault. So, in my desperation, I just start smacking my dick against her body in an attempt to get hard. In my stupor, I didn't realize how hard I was hitting her with it and how wildly inappropriate it was. So after about a minute of smacking her with my cock, I just gave up and went down on her. I noticed how shocked she looked after the experience, but I didn't want to draw attention to it. Eventually I managed to maintain a half-chub and finished up.
But that's not the worst of it. I was holding in my pee most of the time, but I was super exhausted. I ended up just falling asleep on her bed. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and staring at the bathroom for minutes, but I just couldn't find the strength to get to the bathroom. So, as I stared at the bathroom, I just started pissing. The kind of piss that actually hurts the tip of your dick from the force. Throughout all of this, she just didn't wake up. I was fucking soaking her bed, and she didn't wake up.
After the pissening, I went back to sleep. Call it divine intervention, or call it my brain's alarm clock, but I managed to wake up before her. I hastily gathered my things, wrung-out my urine soaked boxers, and just booked it out of there. And don't ask why I did it, but I left 20 bucks on her kitchen table. At the time I figured it would allow her to buy new bedsheets.
She never called me again and I never called her. I don't know if she knows that I pissed the bed, or she thinks that she did. Either way, I still wince when I think about it. That's the worst sex story I've ever had, but I have a few more that are still pretty bad. If there's interest, I'll write a few more.
