- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
I guess I don't know what good writing is any more, feel kind of ashamed.
Maybe Patty can hold a college course to help dummies like me understand this nuanced genius?
Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Thread starter Caverlock
- Start date
I guess I don't know what good writing is any more, feel kind of ashamed.
Maybe Patty can hold a college course to help dummies like me understand this nuanced genius?
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2021
Three sentences was all i could stand.
Force and Character
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2019
So Scrooge has a speaking role here. Since the premise of the book is that he's dead and Tim is looking to avenge him, I presume that him turning out to be alive (or maybe a ghost) is supposed to be a major twist, which this monumental retard just spoiled for no good reason. Great going there, fatty.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
I refuse to read this.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
Wait, I have to suffer through this shit alone?
Sir... you may be right, but it still hurts, you know? Just keep it to yourself.
Sir... you may be right, but it still hurts, you know? Just keep it to yourself.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
Great, now I can't unsee this farce of a novel as anything but erotica.
TistyJoe
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2022
I read three lines of that and felt myself get dumber and fatter
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2021
I hope his book comes out and is immediately trashed for such offensive britface and anglophobia
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2016
That is bad. Wow. It’s so boring but also irritating.
This is probably a flashback to when Scrooge was alive.
Force and Character
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2019
I thought so too at first, since I struggled to believe that such abysmal stupidity could exist even in Rick's blobfish-like head. But then Tim fights a thug with his ridiculous sword-cane, which means that he's already adult, armed and skulking around "the London underworld" as imagined by piggy. So either he's already on his mission or the characters are mucked up so absurdly that it's just as bad as an accidental spoiler, if not worse.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
Okay I'm thinking what if I was really really fat and really really stupid what could be the dumbest possible thing to do with that. I'm predicting now that he's gonna do a Star War where Scrooge goes no, Tim child, I am your father and he's a force ghost and Tim is a Jedi. Then I had to stop and step back from the ledge but I've studied Pat posting for a bit and that is seriously the most retarded thing I can come up with so that's my prediction. If it actually happens I have gazed into the fat abyss for too long.
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2019
To be fair, no one sane would read far enough to get to the twist anyway.
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2017
This is just so fucking awful, the only reason I even know what is going on is because it's such a cliché scene.
Are all of his books like this?
- Joined
- May 7, 2021
That excerpt feels so forced, like he blew his load in a few paragraphs by using the most generic Victorian tropes available. Dickens should rise from the grave to scrub this abomination from existence and haunt its creator until the end of days.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Fat gripped the hilt of his cane with one hand, and let it’s lacquered length slide through the other palm as he brought it up to intercept.
”CHILD!” Boomed Fatrick. “Come to Daddy”. Fatrick had visions of tugging those glistening ass cheeks apart, and asking Tyrone to press against them and fart.
TistyJoe
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2022
Hang on. A "grown Tiny Tim". Tiny Tim was at most 5 with a severe disability. So at best he would be 15 at this point. Pedo Prick Rick strikes again
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2017
I love how Patrick is losing his shit over the fact people can pay for blue checkmarks now...
...thus ensuring he'll never get one. After all, he was never noteworthy enough for one pre-Musk takeover (when he had his best shot), and he never will be (except as a cow). Now, he's clearly established he thinks it's bad to pay for one.
He'll either have to eternally eat shit on that front, or change his position and eat another kind of shit. It's glorious.
...thus ensuring he'll never get one. After all, he was never noteworthy enough for one pre-Musk takeover (when he had his best shot), and he never will be (except as a cow). Now, he's clearly established he thinks it's bad to pay for one.
He'll either have to eternally eat shit on that front, or change his position and eat another kind of shit. It's glorious.
grapeshark77
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2021
Every excerpt I've seen from his books was somehow worse than I thought it would be - grammatical errors, all of the characters are annoying and sound the same, clunky prose. This is on another level and I love that he's cocky enough to share it after his viral tweet.
Incredible engagement from the 50k followers - 20 faves in 3 hours. Also Pat must always sound like a dick, even to his fans:
Incredible engagement from the 50k followers - 20 faves in 3 hours. Also Pat must always sound like a dick, even to his fans:
0 0
--- .... / --.. . .-. ---
Forum Staff
🐕🦺 Animal Control 🐕🦺
💬 Off-Topic Mod 💬
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2017
My thoughts:
- Reading this dialogue is a chore. It's not charming enough to be worth imagining the bad Cockney accent, and it's not incomprehensible enough to be funny.
- The writing itself is unbearably utilitarian. A lot of literal descriptions of what's happening. It's just not fun to read.
- "Why did he take a picture of his computer screen instead of just using print screen" asks my wandering mind because Patrick can't keep my attention for a single page.
- This reads a lot like an outline with some rough ideas, not proper draft. He can give the excuse that it's a work in progress, but then again, most people will show off an actually good section of an in-progress work. This is like if I'm a sculptor and decided to show you a blob of mud.
- Patrick sure has mastered the most basic form of analogy. "Like a vise." "Like some turnips." He's already on par with a middle school student. I was almost taken aback when I thought he referred to an old man's crunching joints as "old hinges" until I realized he was literally just describing an actual set of old hinges creaking.
- This is a little hard to describe, but good writing should generally have a scene unfold just as how you cognitively process situations while you experience them. At least that's the kind of writing I like. Pat writes like he's making a checklist. It's about as entertaining as reading one. "He grabs the hammer, then he swings the hammer, and then he hits the thing with the hammer."
- The "crisp, crimson line" is a pretty respectable snippet of decent writing to describe a slash. Or it would be, but he calls it a "crimson line of pain" because the reader apparently needs to understand getting cut hurts, which immediately makes it sound incredibly childish.
- I give it a B+ for effort, and a this for actual execution:
Last edited: