How do men make friends as adults?

[urr13 account]

• Befriend your wife's/girlfriend's friend's husbands

This is one of the main ways guys over 30 make new friends, women are good at building social networks.

Meeting other men on your own isn't easy unless you are looking to bang them, the best options are to join something I guess. Local softball club, boxing gym, places where you can meet guys. Maybe get a part-time job as a way to meet the guys who work there all of this sounds very gay, but it's the best I can think of.

 

[mfalkner]

Unless you have something someone else wants they won't want anything to do with you. Once they've got it from you, you're back to square one

 

[AbyssGazer]

We live in the digital age. No matter how strange you are as a person, there will always be someone equally or more strange out there. Progressing a friendship from online to IRL is easier than you think if you live close enough to each other. This has been my way to both fun hang outs and great friendships.

 

[PaleTay]

We live in the digital age. No matter how strange you are as a person, there will always be someone equally or more strange out there. Progressing a friendship from online to IRL is easier than you think if you live close enough to each other. This has been my way to both fun hang outs and great friendships.

But what if you don't? The biggest struggle for me has always been that I don't live near anyone but traffic is still terrible.
Did have one approach me recently who lives about 20 minutes away (who thought it was 2) but life has been busy and work is far away.

This is one of the main ways guys over 30 make new friends, women are good at building social networks.

Meeting other men on your own isn't easy unless you are looking to bang them, the best options are to join something I guess. Local softball club, boxing gym, places where you can meet guys. Maybe get a part-time job as a way to meet the guys who work there all of this sounds very gay, but it's the best I can think of.

What if there are no real clubs or activities nearby, and even female friends are having just as much trouble meeting people?

 

[Pastor Martin Ssempa]

1) Make a note of every public restroom in your area.
2) Visit each of them at night in strict rotation until you find a bathroom stall with a "friendship hole" at roughly groin height.
3) Enter the stall, leaving your briefcase outside the door.
4) Wait until the stall connected to yours by said "friendship hole" is occupied.
5) Subtly slide your foot under the partition. Conversely, you can place two fingers on the rim of the "friendship hole".
6) Enjoy your new friend.

 

[Executive Petrel]

Toss a paper heart knit to a rope at strangers.

 

[Shamefur Dispray]

As an adult male I would say it's just not something I regularly think about, on the list of needs I think about consistently I'd say having friends is pretty low on the list.
But every guy is different I'm very anti-social and don't really need people around to enjoy myself, other guys might be the inverse of that.

 

[FILTH Tourist]

I'm taking an online class right now and actually made two friends. Me and one guy actually hit it off almost immediately and have quickly became good friends. From playing online videogames to discussions about the pros and cons of apartheid dude is pretty fun to hang out with. Another friend is a girl from my class who actually moved to my country recently. So some weekends we go sight seeing.

 

[AbyssGazer]

But what if you don't? The biggest struggle for me has always been that I don't live near anyone but traffic is still terrible.
Did have one approach me recently who lives about 20 minutes away (who thought it was 2) but life has been busy and work is far away.

Well, keep looking and don't be afraid to travel a little bit. have a hard time understanding how 20 minutes travel time could ruin a (potential) friendship. Now I live in a small country so any countrymen I meet online are statistically likely to live within driving distance. If you're American maybe it's harder idk.

 

[ReasonablyRetarded]

Depends on where you are but I would 1000% unironically recommend fishing as a social activity. I say depends on where you are because if you have a spot where noone ever comes it's not that social, but if there's a well known pond, lake or river then it very much can be.
I also say depends because depending on where in the world you are, people who fish can be less than ideal. In my country it's a split between 60% just old & young people that are normal, 20% wiggers/gypsies & 20% annoying teenagers that spend more time bragging about their kit & playing loud music than actually fishing.

Only thing you have to do is be kind & respectful and in no time you'll strike up conversation with other fishermen.
Most of my talks started with just a simple thumbs up & offering to take a picture for them of them and their catch whenever they hooked something. I never let the conversation go beyond surface level talk & deny offers of exchanging contact details because I go fishing to have some me time & do stuff on my own terms, but you absolutely could build friendships from it.

 

[56 others]

Best way to make male friends is to stop being a fucking loser. Lose weight, lift weights, make sure you go outside and do something every time you have a day off. Keep finding ways to earn more money so you can afford to do things (promotions, education, or hopping jobs).
More people will be willing to talk to you in the first place if you look like you have your shit together

 

[rdrr]

Get into hobbies. Look around. There are chess, board games, fucking chopping firewood for church. There are things going on out there.

The thing is, other men often do not want to associate with other men. There has to be some commonality between men, and I am unsure what it is, I've encountered it, usually business, competition, or charity related, and then you can get some OK times going. Some guys like to want to frag the most in DOOM, win the most games of Chess. others want help building a house, chopping wood. Racing cars, repairing cars. Yeah, some shit you can do in the the comfort of your own home, 'ala DOOM or whatever, but, best to get out there and strike up a conversation.

Look at how many motherfuckers are buried in their phones. If given an opportunity, knock that fucker out of that universe and back into the living, however that goes, if appropriate. Sometimes people appreciate it. Works for me.

 

[PaleTay]

Well, keep looking and don't be afraid to travel a little bit. have a hard time understanding how 20 minutes travel time could ruin a (potential) friendship. Now I live in a small country so any countrymen I meet online are statistically likely to live within driving distance. If you're American maybe it's harder idk.

Well 20 minutes is still really close, most are 45-60 minutes under ideal traffic and much worse under bad traffic. If you work different shifts you see the person less.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Sounds kinda gay.

 

[₲litches]

I’ve met some good friends on Facebook groups. If you like any outdoor activities, those are good places to look. You see all kinds of posts like “interested in getting into <whatever activity> and wondering if anyone is interested in taking a newbie under your wing? I’ll provide beer of your choice”. A lot of guys that are way into whatever hobby are outgoing and love growing their community.
It’s basically the only reason I still have a Facebook.

 

[Butterschmalz]

Here s another take. You wont make friends as an adult. Get used to it. What does it make you then? A stranger among strangers, family aside. An immigrant in the country of your birth. Right? Just without the option that regular immigrants have (to go back to their home country).
Here s a piece on a Vietnamese man who made Senegal his home country. Its a bit more of an inspirational and motivational docu. Be like this man. A stranger among strangers. Or how to learn to swim in a sea of niggers.

 

[cringe retard 9000]

Well, I am still below 30 but I've found these ways to be particularly effective in eastern Europe:

1. Sports. Seriously, go out to your local football (or soccer for the ameritards), ask the guys playing there if you can join (most likely during the evening because if you'll do it before you will be labeled a pedo and nothing else) and as long as you aren't a complete 200kg moron you'll be able to make some friends just from playing with them.
2. Beer/other alcohol. Everybody (or almost everybody) is friendly after a couple of drinks.
3. Computer games. I've got some great friends that I've made by adding some random and playing some games with them, hell, I even had a 10+ people meet-up with people from all across the world that only knew each other thanks to playing CS 1.6 together

But yeah, if you are an introverted obese neet (and let's be real with each other, it's still KF we're talking on...) you might be fucked.

 

[Yaoi Zowie]

Here are a handful of things that have served me well in my 30s:

• Learn to have a genuine interest in other people and the stuff they like. A lot of nerds like to think they’re smarter than 99% everyone else, that small talk is beneath them, etc etc. Those guys suck and no one enjoys spending time with them. If you don’t have a natural interest in people but still want friends, fake it until you make it.

• Everyone loves to hang with the guy who is always down for whatever, no matter the activity (and is cheerful about it). I’ve personally been served very well by adopting the attitude that I’ll try anything once within reason, even if I don’t think I’ll like it. I can’t count how many times I’ve ended up really enjoying doing something with friends that I was apprehensive about before trying it.

• It’s a fact that attractive people are more socially successful even outside of romance. You don’t have to make your life about fitness and fashion, but having a mindset of continuous incremental self-improvement will make people naturally like you more and more.

• Friends are like money: The more you have, the easier it is to make even more. A lonely guy in a new town trying to find that first really good local friend can be daunting and take a while. But once you get one, they invite you to meet their other friends, and then things snowball from there.

 

[Exist0]

I am white male, middle aged. Live in backwards ass country town. I have the benefit of a redneck past.

I go to pub. Get drinks, get drunk. Head to beer garden and chat with other assholes. Some are friend material, some need a headbutt.

Otherwise, I play DnD. Meet other nerds and talk nerdy to them.

I'm currently up for membership in the free masons. Might be friends there.

I spend time at the men's shelter and have been teaching a guy to read. We now garden together. So yeah

Friends is hard, but there is friends.
It's kinda like 4chan, mostly shit but a few nuggets of gold amongst it.

Being a musician it's easier I guess. You already have that shared interest when jamming with randos.

Blah blah blah, it's nots easy, but we try.

 

[Mango Cobra]

As an adult male who recently turned 30 I know of only a few ways.

1. Get introduced to the new friends via another friend. This, tragically, will not help you if you moved to a new region and can and will backfire if you have a falling out with the mutual friend.
2. Engage in your hobbies at a public location. For example I'm a fan of Warhammer 40k and Gaslands, as well as EDH MTG. The best way to meet people with those three hobbies would be to go to an FLGS - Friendly Local Game Store - and find out what day they host Warhammer 40k, Gasland, and EDH groups.
3. Alternatively, you can join local Facebook groups for your interests. For example a "Greater Boston Warhammer 40k" group, and set up a game with some person on there. Keep doing that and strike up conversations, and you'll eventually have a group of friends with similar interests.
4. Post ads. No, seriously. Go to an FLGs and tell them you want to start a game of Pathfinder, D&D, Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, or whatever going. They'll generally allow you to post your contact information and the game you are looking to run, and you'll get two or three people who are interested reaching out to you. This, however, requires you to actually be willing and able to run a game.
5. Respond to ads. Same as above, really. Ask the FLGS if they have any groups playing a particular game and see if they are looking for new players.
6. Find out if any of your "Internet Fwends" live near you and see if they want to hang out.
7. Go to LARP events, I guess. I'm not a fan of this option and I only know because a mutual friend dragged me to a couple events. Amtgarde, or some stickjock game like Hearthlight. The biggest problem with this is that it attracts aggressive troons, mentaly ill women and annoying whiny faggots so you'll end up encountering them. Games like Hearthlight - You dress up in armor and beat each other with (kinda heavy) foam weapons tends to attract trannies who are looking to assault people and get away with it, because you have to hit someone with force or else it doesn't count.. A lot of them target women specifically Games like Amtgarde - Attracts mentally ill women, whiny faggots, and less aggressive troons. The armor is more or less the same as games like Hearthlight, but because its a 'touch= hit' game you end up with a community of people who made weapons that weight as much as a literal feather. Oh and you have to deal with people who are playing as wizards or whatever, or organizers who gave themselves "special powers" only they can use.