Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,391
There's just something so infuriating about watching some fat stroked-out gay fuck who is practically dead wearing a baseball hat backwards like some wigger faggot.
Oh and also, I think I have a good idea on why Jack is so angy and comparing Tennessee to California: a minority or gay person very likely has moved in to his neighborhood.
Jack thinks he's the only dude allowed to suck dicks in his neighborhood.
 
Idiot should have gotten the plantains instead of his stroke brain playing follow-the-Tammy and getting that school lunch ass looking house salad. Mr. Restaurant Industry knows Sysco foods and has complained about before, yet he always orders items most likely to be the most marked up and least interesting items on the menu.

Jack's typical call to action at the end always bewilders me. "Come by, give em some love, tell em you saw it on the show." Of course no one does this, but the prospect of it and to seriously entertain the idea.

Just how many people does he think he is targeting in his part of Tennessee? The old California Jack that was a bit more spry might have cared about his analytics, but I don't think he'd even bother to go beyond his view count dashboard these days. It at least might have made a lick of sense when he was visiting places in the LA suburbs or his tourist vacation spots. I guess it's part of his influencer LARP denying the fact he's a TN transplant from CA (the worst kind of transplant, those Californians, according to any local anywhere) and reviews chain restaurants.
 
Joshua Weissman can also be that way too.
Jack also reminds me of that guy who hosted Bon Appetit who considered anything that wasn't sears to be overcooked.
The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
Lol, imagine caring about Gordon Ramsey. Look, dude's a good cook, but it's food at the end of the day. It goes in and comes out as waste. You could make a beef wellington, and you would enjoy it, but you could also just make your own corndogs from scratch and probably be just as happy, just as proud of what you made, and actually be able to afford to eat tomorrow as well.
 
"The Ceviche was probably Peruvian style."
No shit Jack. ALL Ceviche is Peruvian in origin. Thats like being surprised your Pizza is kind of Italian. And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?

Edit: The Trump Store is actually a store dedicated to Donald Trump merch. That is weird and cultish as fuck. Jack probably cruises there.
 
"The Ceviche was probably Peruvian style."
No shit Jack. ALL Ceviche is Peruvian in origin. Thats like being surprised your Pizza is kind of Italian. And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?

Edit: The Trump Store is actually a store dedicated to Donald Trump merch. That is weird and cultish as fuck. Jack probably cruises there.
Shirt sizes on that site range from small to XXXXXL. That’s all I’m saying about that site before I politisperg.
 
"Puruvian"? Strokebrain strikes again lol.
The name is literally on the fucking sign in the first 10 seconds and this fat stroked-out piece of shit can't manage to spell it right.
And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient.
I've had octopus ceviche, made sashimi style, at a mostly sushi restaurant with some "fusion" elements to it. Was bretty gud.
 
They say they went for a "coffee" while waiting for it to cook. We all know that David just bent Jagoff over the grill and fucked him up the ass while that was happening. So Jagoff could see the meat turning on the rotisserie while David gave him the meat from behind.

The problem with Gordon's cookbooks is that they are pretentious, complex, and the ingredients are hard to source, sometimes impossible if you're not in proximity of a decent butcher or fishmonger. There is no doubt that Jack would ruin the dishes.
I've done some of Gordon's recipes and they are long, involved and require a really good selection nearby. Jagoff would just go to Walmart and get whatever was close to it. This is the guy after all that substituted blueberries for juniper berries in a recipe. That's beyond retarded.

Same with most of his breads, they tend to be 18-24 hour affairs.
This is why you plan ahead. Whenever I make bread I mix it up the night before, let it rise slowly overnight and then the next day do what needs to be done. A long rise and not too much yeast gives you much better flavor for your bread.

And how have you never had it with fish before? Its the main ingredient. Did he get some with shrimp in it too and just not notice the fish?
It's probably that he's only had it with shellfish before and not actual fish. But strokebrain strikes again and he's under the impression that it's only for things like shrimp, scallops and other shellfish.
 
I've done some of Gordon's recipes and they are long, involved and require a really good selection nearby.
I honestly think Ramsay's best stuff is his simple stuff, like the scrambled eggs video or the steak video. They're usually about five minutes or so, don't involve any swearing and screaming, and tell you exactly how to perform some fundamental cooking task.

There's literally no excuse for bungling a steak when this two and a half minute video exists:

I even picked up a couple things from this that I continue to use, specifically just using crushed (un-peeled) garlic and rendering a bit of the fat from the steak so it's frying in its own fat.
 
I mean I'll give him this: at least he didn't waddle into yet another dying mexican restaurant. However any bonus I'd give to calling this video gud is ruined by his god awful attempt to drown music with more music. Also he clearly is angy that the ceviche didn't match the shitty tex-mex he usually gets. Same energy as Carolina BBQ.
 
I honestly think Ramsay's best stuff is his simple stuff, like the scrambled eggs video or the steak video. They're usually about five minutes or so, don't involve any swearing and screaming, and tell you exactly how to perform some fundamental cooking task.
The man knows his way around a kitchen. There's a reason he's as well known as he is.

Jagoff isn't fit to stir this man's lamb sauce much less make his scrambled eggs. But then he wouldn't be able to find creme fraiche anywhere local and he's not paying the $10 or whatever it costs at Aldi's so he'd just add a heaping tablespoon of mayo that had been left out until it soured a bit instead. I'm sure he'd live. All the food borne diseases and parasites he's got have been fighting for control so long he's practically immune to them.
 
But then he wouldn't be able to find creme fraiche anywhere local and he's not paying the $10 or whatever it costs at Aldi's so he'd just add a heaping tablespoon of mayo that had been left out until it soured a bit instead.
To be perfectly frank you can almost always just substitute sour cream for creme fraiche. Unless you're doing some shit like caviar with blinis and shit, nobody cares if it's actually creme fraiche.
 
All Jack needs to not undercook poultry is a constant minder to do all the work.

Falcon writes Jack Fuck-fic!

None of the lousy Mexican restaurants Jack goes to are dying. Not even the ones that are begging for a health department kill shot.

I have never seen creme fraiche.
 
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To be perfectly frank you can almost always just substitute sour cream for creme fraiche. Unless you're doing some shit like caviar with blinis and shit, nobody cares if it's actually creme fraiche.
Sour cream can be a little overly intense in certain dishes. For scrambled eggs like Gordon makes? Perfectly fine to sub it in. You can even make it yourself with a thing of heavy cream, make sure it's not adulterated with anything, add some sour cream or yogurt to it as a starter and let it sit on the counter for a couple days. But who has the time or patience to that?

And yes, I've gotten it specifically to use on crostini with smoked salmon and caviar. Not that beluga stuff. I'm not paying $300 for fish eggs. But some of the cheaper stuff? It's perfectly fine and if you have any of it left over the next day along with creme fraiche and smoked salmon? Makes for some killer eggs. Especially if you pop a bottle of bubbly to have with it.

I have never seen creme fraiche.
It's not something you find in many supermarkets. Whole Foods probably has it as well as some higher end joints.
 
Amazing, this fat turd goes outside to give his review, leaving Tammy to clean up the table. Fat POS.
fatboy.JPG
 
Side topic and go ahead and rate me late, but where did the "Jackoff watches Blue's Clues" meme come from? I tried using the search bar but its mentioned so many times off hand as a joke in this thread that I couldn't find the origin.
 
Idiot should have gotten the plantains instead of his stroke brain playing follow-the-Tammy and getting that school lunch ass looking house salad. Mr. Restaurant Industry knows Sysco foods and has complained about before, yet he always orders items most likely to be the most marked up and least interesting items on the menu.

Jack's typical call to action at the end always bewilders me. "Come by, give em some love, tell em you saw it on the show." Of course no one does this, but the prospect of it and to seriously entertain the idea.

Just how many people does he think he is targeting in his part of Tennessee? The old California Jack that was a bit more spry might have cared about his analytics, but I don't think he'd even bother to go beyond his view count dashboard these days. It at least might have made a lick of sense when he was visiting places in the LA suburbs or his tourist vacation spots. I guess it's part of his influencer LARP denying the fact he's a TN transplant from CA (the worst kind of transplant, those Californians, according to any local anywhere) and reviews chain restaurants.
He's complained about sysco foods? fuck, considering the food that he likes at the places he visits I assumed sysco foods was his favorite purveyor of overpriced microwaved food.

And yeah, it would be funny to see his analytics by state(no idea if youtube has that available) and see the 1% of his audience that's in TN let alone in the vicinity of these places he goes to.

Side topic and go ahead and rate me late, but where did the "Jackoff watches Blue's Clues" meme come from? I tried using the search bar but its mentioned so many times off hand as a joke in this thread that I couldn't find the origin.

Because when I think it was the original blues clues host did a video a year or two back, he was repeatedly sperging out on FB about the show, the covid jab, and all kinds of inane shit. He whined about teen titans go also. Here's one of his bitch fests about it, but he's done the bitmoji garbage in the past as well to complain about one thing or another regarding the show or something tangentially related to it. https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-...-go-show-jakatak.13468/page-1498#post-9948634

edit: here's another example that doesn't make any sense when you do the math. He's a grown ass man that watches blues clues for no reason. https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jack-...-go-show-jakatak.13468/page-1498#post-9947671
 
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