Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 555 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,632 74.4%

  • Total voters
    3,536
@Boolean Bitch - I enjoyed your Cave allegory theory situation-type-deal so much that I went over to Mr Dangleen Ankle's video to check out how he credited you. I went thru the comments & found this (which really pissed me off): Screen Shot 2022-12-17 at 10.13.52 PM.png

The AUDACITY of this idiot is unreal!
(as you can see, I downvoted him - take THAT Mr Dangleen Ankle!)

It's bad enough to call a blessed place like Kiwi Farms "the Forum who cannot be mentioned" - but then to shit on you & claim the Cave allegory comparison to ALR was a stroke of his brilliance, is utter bullshit. The amount of theories & facts that these reactors steal from us is unreal! At least Yaba & Alex is Shook credit the Farms, the rest of the lot can suck my dick. If we weren't such educated & insightful people, they wouldn't be clamoring over our posts to make a buck over OUR BRILLIANCE! Oh well, we survived The Troon Wars of 2022 - we are smart, intelligent & resilient people, we will survive our content being stolen from arrogant jerks as well...
Screen Shot 2022-12-18 at 1.32.42 PM.png
 
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@Boolean Bitch - I enjoyed your Cave allegory theory situation-type-deal so much that I went over to Mr Dangleen Ankle's video to check out how he credited you. I went thru the comments & found this (which really pissed me off): View attachment 4102752

The AUDACITY of this idiot is unreal!
(as you can see, I downvoted him - take THAT Mr Dangleen Ankle!)

It's bad enough to call a blessed place like Kiwi Farms "the Forum who cannot be mentioned" - but then to shit on you & claim the Cave allegory comparison to ALR was a stroke of his brilliance, is utter bullshit. The amount of theories & facts that these reactors steal from us is unreal! At least Yaba & Alex is Shook credit the Farms, the rest of the lot can suck my dick. If we weren't such educated & insightful people, they wouldn't be clamoring over our posts to make a buck over OUR BRILLIANCE! Oh well, we survived The Troon Wars of 2022 - we are smart, intelligent & resilient people, we will survive our content being stolen from arrogant jerks as well...
View attachment 4102896
What a tard, he even mentioned in the video he stole it from @Boolean Bitch and couldn’t even deign her the courtesy of correctly pronouncing her username. It’s such an easy to fall apart lie. Why flex he came up with it now?

I missed you by the way @Situation Type Deal Gorl
 
@Boolean Bitch - I enjoyed your Cave allegory theory situation-type-deal so much that I went over to Mr Dangleen Ankle's video to check out how he credited you. I went thru the comments & found this (which really pissed me off): View attachment 4102752

The AUDACITY of this idiot is unreal!
(as you can see, I downvoted him - take THAT Mr Dangleen Ankle!)

It's bad enough to call a blessed place like Kiwi Farms "the Forum who cannot be mentioned" - but then to shit on you & claim the Cave allegory comparison to ALR was a stroke of his brilliance, is utter bullshit. The amount of theories & facts that these reactors steal from us is unreal! At least Yaba & Alex is Shook credit the Farms, the rest of the lot can suck my dick. If we weren't such educated & insightful people, they wouldn't be clamoring over our posts to make a buck over OUR BRILLIANCE! Oh well, we survived The Troon Wars of 2022 - we are smart, intelligent & resilient people, we will survive our content being stolen from arrogant jerks as well...
View attachment 4102896
His only 'stroke' of brilliance were the set of keystrokes that took him to kiwifarms.net. I understand that this can be seen as a dig at the farms (because it kinda is), but don't spike your blood pressure over this dude. He is a typical Amberverse reactor - out for validation and attention (and hoping to make mega adsense revenue along the way) by dunking on a 500lb mentally ill woman from the same channel that he posts videos of his wife and baby.

To blend some philisophical and fantasy fiction concepts (as he seems to like them), he gazed into the abyss for long enough that it has gazed back into him. If he continues on his trajectory, within a year you'll probably find that someone starts a thread on him. Other than a few decent reactors (Chikara Transformations, Hillbilly Uncensored, Crusader Actual, Kate Winslet, and a couple others I'm forgetting at the moment), the vast majority of them twist into monsters (or reveal their true form). Haydur Nation corrupts faster than the Ring of Mordor.


What a tard, he even mentioned in the video he stole it from @Boolean Bitch and couldn’t even deign her the courtesy of correctly pronouncing her username. It’s such an easy to fall apart lie. Why flex he came up with it now?

I missed you by the way @Situation Type Deal Gorl
He's not a very observant individual (so he's PERFECT for 'Gorl World'!!!) I laughed at that whole part. Not only did he not recognize the word "Boolean", but he also didn't make the connection that it's a joke based on how Amber says the word "Bullying". I also found it interesting that he assumed me to be a dude when Kathryn Janeway is unofficially the LEAST POPULAR Starfleet Captain amongst male Star Trek fans.

Just to give you an insight into this dude and his intentions, these are messages between him and MichaelBePetty. He made a video about his written exchange with MBP, calling him 'the legend', and referring to himself as Michael's 'fanboy'. He also tried to bribe MBP to be a guest on channel. There are a few typos, but are from the original document. This is the video that it came from (I promise to try and figure out how to archive YT videos so I stop just posting links):


From: Ankle Rolls Reid

I recentlty started an ALR reaction channel, and it has quickly grown to 1k subs and you were obviously an inspiration for me to start one. I know you disappeared off the scene, why? I'm trying to consider the obvious pitfalls of this journey and I would like your wisdom from your experience. I hope you are able to help me.

Sincerely,
Charlie.

-------------
From: MichaelBePetty

Hi there, [REDACTED] I had to decide what was more important to me. I also think the reaction world especially in gorl world has a very limited shelf life and I want to have a career that has longevity. It also got really stale and boring for me as ALR keeps repeating the same cycles over and over again. I hope that cleared some stuff up for you and good luck on your "journey" :P

MichaelBePetty

------------
From Ankle Rolls Reid

Hey again,
I can't believe you replied to me, you're kind of a legend around here (sorry I sound like a fanboy). Can I use this in a video? I just hit the 1k subs and the ability to apply for monetization, but I'm not sure I want to be chasing those YT dollars. She's already been lurking in my comments and sending veiled threats my way. Thank you, it certainly will factor into my thinking as to where I go from here... I'm thinking of trying to spin off into my own fitness journeeeee (basically just getting ripped and hope people like to stare at me). Anyway, I obviously will keep this confidential unless you say otherwise, thank you again for replying to me.

Sincerely,
Charlie

------------
From: MichaelBePetty

Hey Charlie,

Yeah that sounds like good ole ALR. She has nothing to do all day so she is constantly watching videos of herself and trying to manipulate the comment sections either as herself or as her sock account. She at one point tried to dm with me but I really don't play that shit because I ultimately don't like her so I'm not about to bother having some fake conversation with her especially since she's is in my opinion incapable of telling the truth. She lies about the smallest things so what's the point. I don't really mind using this in the video [REDACTED] I think the journey of you getting shredded would be cool to watch but if I couldn't give any advice it would be diversity diversify diversify [sic]. Try to not lodge on home your channel [sic] onto one type of thing. Do a wide range of topics that why the audience more so attracted to you and not the "content". I think that will make it easier for you in the long run. Good luck on your YouTube journey. It is a wild ride.

-Michael

I meant to say "pidegon hole your channel" and for some reason it said "lodge on home" autocorrect got me lol.

------------
From: Ankle Rolls Reid

Okay cool! I'm not going to do it anytime soon (would rather wait until I can make money off it). [REDACTED] Do you think it's fair to say that Amberlynn "creates a hostile work environment" for content creators? I know the Cxnt and Waddle never came back after she copyright struck them, and Sinatra Says got his channel demonetized as well. I'm considering making a video specifically about the hostile work environment she creates for content creators. [REDACTED] so I'm brainstorming various types of videos.

Charlie

------------
From: MichaelBePetty

Thank you I appreciate it. I think it's fair. I think her and the other gorls abuse the copyright strike system to intimidate, punish, and silence their critics. It always backfired in their face but they can not stop themselves from pressing the button because it probably gives them the immediate satisfaction they have conditioned themselves into needing. Hell even today Amberlynn uploaded that video crying about her lung and the misdiagnose just to put out a video the next day saying it wasn't what she thought and she got different news. Why someone would want that karma from clickbaiting something like cancer is beyond me but she doesn't stop herself from doing it. She even says at the beginning of the video today that this is a continuation of her last vlog hence her wearing the same outfit. A normal person would wait until they have the fully story not capitalize off clickbaiting cancer. Stuff like that creates a hostile work environment for herself because it further turns her audiece again her. She just can't help herself.

-Michael

------------
From: Ankle Rolls Reid

I told my audience I had been in correspondence with you (no specifics), and many of them are going nuts. They miss you! Several of them have asked me if there is a possibility of some kind of live stream with both of us in the future (when my channel is bigger and I can afford to bribe you with cash). Any thoughts? I figure you probably wouldn't want to, but if the bribe was large enough? Lol. I just think it would be awesome to have you drop in and say hi, we could even structure it to where it's mostly about you and how you have been, sort of scripted interview where you get/approve the questions beforehand (like a politician). I am dreaming big things over here. They've been asking me if you are coming back as well and I am not giving any specifics whatsoever. I know you are done with all this drama. Anyway, I got monetized! Let's hope I stay alive long enough before OUR GORL brings the banhammer down on me.


Charlie's commentary afterwards:
"So that was my correspondence with the legend, with the great one, Michael Be Petty. He was somebody who basically got me into Gorl World. Kind of.. kind of a fanboy. I really enjoyed his commentary. His, his videos are legendary, and they are still 100% relevant today."

Amber creates a 'hostile work environment' LOL. And don't neg rate me, gorls, 'cuz that would make this a hostile work environment, too!! :P
 
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@Boolean Bitch You got quote glitch'd, boo boo. Quit boolean me, KF code!

lol what a loser. I'm not surprised at anything considering how stupid haydur nation as a whole is, but it's amusing all the same.

(I assume that despite Beauty Parlor/Lolcow Salon being regarded as the "girly" subforum, most people just assume that we're all dudes. When my main cow got tipped to her thread, her husband, friends, and her all kept referring to me as "he" when they weren't assuming that I was just straight up Null. Although in my case I have an anime gunman as my pfp, while you have Captain Janeway.)
 
Don't forget the relentless cackling.
I’ll throw my two cents in here too:
- anytime she stamps her little hog feet and tells everyone she’s a big girl and will make her own decisions no matter what we the audience or Jade says
- when she starts to blame her mentulz
- whenever she tries to convince us she just LOVES showering and does it like twice a day. Sure Jan.
- when she insists she can reach and wipe her own ass with those t-Rex arms
- anytime she thinks she’s the smartest person in the room, which is always.

Tbh I’d just like a timed three minutes in a locked interview room with her. In a past life I actually had some training in this area, and despite being on my last legs here I’m pretty certain if you played her greatest hits on the tv in there I could do some real damage to that hog and give her something to complain about. Ahh I feel better. We can dream can’t we? As for Wipey I hate her more in certain ways because I feel she’s manipulating and scheming in the background. So, I’d like a collapsible baton, some duct tape, a hand towel a gallon of water and an 8 ball of coke. You know, for research purposes.

Edit: if this is too over the top feel free to delete it. I just had fun writing it because they irritate the shit out of me lol
 
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Allllll the fucking fatties with lipedema/lymphedema use it as an excuse to just eat anything and everything and be deathfat status by 30. They always say they've talked to doctors and researched but never seem to understand that being a fucking whale makes it worse.
Can you believe she said the reason why she has a stomach and a huge shelf ass because she has lipoedema lol. Seriously she was relieved guys. Ffs can someone put this cow out of her misery already? Her existence must be miserable. I mean my existence is at times quite miserable ( you know having a spinal cord injury and being stuck in a chair) but I make the absolute best of it by living my life. Hamber is a literal shut-in who uses food as her friends and comfort, uses her lesbo partners as caretakers and uses technology to live. If she was in Japan she’d be a ‘hikikimori’ if my spelling is any good.
 
Can you believe she said the reason why she has a stomach and a huge shelf ass because she has lipoedema lol. Seriously she was relieved guys. Ffs can someone put this cow out of her misery already? Her existence must be miserable. I mean my existence is at times quite miserable ( you know having a spinal cord injury and being stuck in a chair) but I make the absolute best of it by living my life. Hamber is a literal shut-in who uses food as her friends and comfort, uses her lesbo partners as caretakers and uses technology to live. If she was in Japan she’d be a ‘hikikimori’ if my spelling is any good.
Okay, gorl. I mean this with the most love in my heart since you seem to be suffering but ya gotta calm down.
Heed @Gay Mouth 's advice.
 
I did a speedrun on a few videos, like yesterday's "Imma take accountability! Please continue to watch my videos so I can keep getting YTBux to support my wastrel ways!" performance.

Did this bitch just blame her lymphedema/lipodema for her shitty breathing because she get swolleen? No, Hamber, that would be all the FAT slowly pressing your internal organs into pancakes. Using the direct result of your fatitude to excuse absolutely everything is NOT "taking acountability".

In summary:

Hamber is fat, and
Nobody
Would have sex with her.
 
...I assume that despite Beauty Parlor/Lolcow Salon being regarded as the "girly" subforum, most people just assume that we're all dudes. When my main cow got tipped to her thread, her husband, friends, and her all kept referring to me as "he" when they weren't assuming that I was just straight up Null. Although in my case I have an anime gunman as my pfp, while you have Captain Janeway.)
It also probably doesn't help that you boast about your mysogny in the space under your name :biggrin:

And great to see you back, @Situation Type Deal Gorl! YES! Now we can start getting your Amber reeeecaps again, right..... RIGHT?!?!?!

Oh, to fix your Haiku:
Hamber is fat, and
Nobody, not even Jade
Would have sex with her.

============

Plot Summary with Comentary. Today is Vlogmas Day 18, or December 17th in the Amberverse. Um... this is hard to describe. There are a lot of different scenes smashed together and a lot of blathering, but almost NO content. Not even much CUNTENT, except when she blames her health and audience for her failed Vlogmas attempts from 2018-2020. The rest is usual Amber video background radiation.

Interesting. She set the video titled 'quitting vlogmas' to be posted an hour later than her usual time to make people get concerned that she's agonizing over quitting.

Amber wears earrings from a subscriber. She matches them with a pink shirt that looks like it was a towel in a previous life.

Amber created another crafting competition to show Jade that she's better than her.

Amber checks her channel to see if she's finished a vlogmas. She finished Vlogmas in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017. So it was only when she was being financially rewarded for failure that suddenly her lifelong mentulz made it impossible to complete anything. Blames her audience (and heath) for her failures.

Spread Joy instead of placing bets on her failures - wait, aren't those the same thing? Okay fine: Stop tearing people down - TEAR THEM UP INSTEAD!

Amber's not going to quit this year. CLICKBAIT.

Love notes on the chalkboard. Jade forgot to include her weight.

Jade's present is a pair of Adidas slides... to replace her old Adidas slides. Amber pretends that she's anxious about them not fitting, as if it's difficult to buy a new pair of slides for someone who already owns slides of the same brand.

The pom-pom Christmas Trees committed suicide as opposed to continue living life with Amber (tape failed and pom-poms fell off). I shouldn't say that - It doesn't look like they left a note, so we may never know the real reason for this tragedy.

The gorls crack open a board game named Venn. Amber doesn't want to bore us with it - too late. Amber sets a goal to finish colouring the playhouse by the 25th.

Amber's necklace extender arrived. Amber 'accidentally' opens a box that was for her mother instead, and wastes time talking to Jade off camera about it. Oops, no necklace extender. Tune in tomorrow!

Amber shows us a space heater.

Amber puts the Cat Advent Calendar collar on Twinkie. It must have catnip on it, because Rarity squeeks and keeps reaching for Twinkie, as if she's trying to take it back.

Amber tries to hide it, but at 12:50, Mount Torrid is clearly back on her bathroom counter.

Amber STILL hasn't spoken to her oncologist about the supposed estrogen fiasco. Amber goes over all of her medications. Zoloft (dose unkown) and Lamictal (was 200mg but now less). She just saves all of her empty bottles in a big basket (to make it look like more?)

Reading Update: slump over and she's on page 45. She still doesn't know what the book is about.

Taking clothing out of the dryer, putting it in the old laundry basket. Then moves the clothes from the washer to the dryer to show that she can reach now. Considering she's (at least) 100 lbs heavier than she was with Krystal, methinks she always could reach and that was just an excuse.

Advent calendars. Animal shaped thing with wheels where you pull it back and it drives. PlayDoh and mold cutter. The PlayDoh creation goes exactly as you are expecting it to.

Amber researches FOMO.

Time to clear another section of her hoard. Now it's the makeup in her desk drawer.

Typing ASMR. This episode is shit becuause "Faline" isn't feeling well amd Amber feels she should be there for her - and yet instead Amber is opening cat toys, playing with PlayDoh, and showing us how a space heater works.

Comment of the Day: "Teddy Fresh!"

TL;DR: Amber's not quitting Vlogmas, that was CLICKBAIT. Amber completed every Vlogmas from 2013-2017. It was only when she starting making obscene ad revenue for being a trainwreck that suddenly she was incapable. Quitting Vlogmas before wasn't her fault, it was the fault of her health (physical and mental), as well as her audience's fault.
 
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How dare people suggest she quit anything, ever! It's just not fair you guys. The only times she has ever quit Vlogmas was for completely valid reasons and fuck you guys for suggesting otherwise.

Damn, gorl is really bothered by the haters. It's pretty hilarious that she feels the need to devote so much time and energy "proving" them wrong. Love that.
 
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It also probably doesn't help that you boast about your mysogny in the space under your name :biggrin:

And great to see you back, @Situation Type Deal Gorl! YES! Now we can start getting your Amber reeeecaps again, right..... RIGHT?!?!?!

Oh, to fix your Haiku:
Hamber is fat, and
Nobody, not even Jade
Would have sex with her.

============

Plot Summary with Comentary. Today is Vlogmas Day 18, or December 17th in the Amberverse. Um... this is hard to describe. There are a lot of different scenes smashed together and a lot of blathering, but almost NO content. Not even much CUNTENT, except when she blames her health and audience for her failed Vlogmas attempts from 2018-2020. The rest is usual Amber video background radiation.

Interesting. She set the video titled 'quitting vlogmas' to be posted an hour later than her usual time to make people get concerned that she's agonizing over quitting.

Amber wears earrings from a subscriber. She matches them with a pink shirt that looks like it was a towel in a previous life.

Amber created another crafting competition to show Jade that she's better than her.

Amber checks her channel to see if she's finished a vlogmas. She finished Vlogmas in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017. So it was only when she was being financially rewarded for failure that suddenly her lifelong mentulz made it impossible to complete anything. Blames her audience (and heath) for her failures.

Spread Joy instead of placing bets on her failures - wait, aren't those the same thing? Okay fine: Stop tearing people down - TEAR THEM UP INSTEAD!

Amber's not going to quit this year. CLICKBAIT.

Love notes on the chalkboard. Jade forgot to include her weight.

Jade's present is a pair of Adidas slides... to replace her old Adidas slides. Amber pretends that she's anxious about them not fitting, as if it's difficult to buy a new pair of slides for someone who already owns slides of the same brand.

The pom-pom Christmas Trees committed suicide as opposed to continue living life with Amber (tape failed and pom-poms fell off). I shouldn't say that - It doesn't look like they left a note, so we may never know the real reason for this tragedy.

The gorls crack open a board game named Venn. Amber doesn't want to bore us with it - too late. Amber sets a goal to finish colouring the playhouse by the 25th.

Amber's necklace extender arrived. Amber 'accidentally' opens a box that was for her mother instead, and wastes time talking to Jade off camera about it. Oops, no necklace extender. Tune in tomorrow!

Amber shows us a space heater.

Amber puts the Cat Advent Calendar collar on Twinkie. It must have catnip on it, because Rarity squeeks and keeps reaching for Twinkie, as if she's trying to take it back.

Amber tries to hide it, but at 12:50, Mount Torrid is clearly back on her bathroom counter.

Amber STILL hasn't spoken to her oncologist about the supposed estrogen fiasco. Amber goes over all of her medications. Zoloft (dose unkown) and Lamictal (was 200mg but now less). She just saves all of her empty bottles in a big basket (to make it look like more?)

Reading Update: slump over and she's on page 45. She still doesn't know what the book is about.

Taking clothing out of the dryer, putting it in the old laundry basket. Then moves the clothes from the washer to the dryer to show that she can reach now. Considering she's (at least) 100 lbs heavier than she was with Krystal, methinks she always could reach and that was just an excuse.

Advent calendars. Animal shaped thing with wheels where you pull it back and it drives. PlayDoh and mold cutter. The PlayDoh creation goes exactly as you are expecting it to.

Amber researches FOMO.

Time to clear another section of her hoard. Now it's the makeup in her desk drawer.

Typing ASMR. This episode is shit becuause "Faline" isn't feeling well amd Amber feels she should be there for her - and yet instead Amber is opening cat toys, playing with PlayDoh, and showing us how a space heater works.

Comment of the Day: "Teddy Fresh!"

TL;DR: Amber's not quitting Vlogmas, that was CLICKBAIT. Amber completed every Vlogmas from 2013-2017. It was only when she starting making obscene ad revenue for being a trainwreck that suddenly she was incapable. Quitting Vlogmas before wasn't her fault, it was the fault of her health (physical and mental), as well as her audience's fault.

(True. To be fair, the Mr Misogyny quote byline I have right now is a reference to a nickname one of the tipped cows gave me because my usual byline is an infamous quote of the guy in my icon's. Seeing a couple lolcows discuss how I must be a teenage incel for that reason was glorious :biggrin: PS- Not a Trekkie but my partner likes Janeway a lot)

I'd be curious to see if Amber actually does complete Vlogmas this year. Not because she has drive, of course. I can see Jade making her monkey dance for pocket change as she plays the grinder. She's also seriously starting to hurt with her audience dropping that sharply. Previous years she could get away with bailing halfway through and coasting through January because she made that much coin. Now, most so much.

Don't give me rainbows, though. Pretty sure she'll drop out but towards the end of the week. She's done that a couple times.
 
@My Cat Is Racist I suspect it's because people know her revenue is truly fucked and it is the first time that her detractors have control over her. For years Amber used time-based editing and chicanery to one-up her viewers because she really enjoys fucking with people. Now she can't, she has to upload every two days without fail, and in recent memory and she has to use clickbait to lure people in.

The problem is everyone is tired of it and her "vlogs" are just a series of her being sat down. I think she knows she is really close to being bedbound a third time now and I think if that is the case, that's it. Amber usually gets bedbound at about 540lbs as in 2018 - 2019 and 2020 and she is only a few pounds off it.
 
Jade Francis needs to either be in the vlogs or fuck off. Literally all that hasn't been shown is her face when we already know what it looks like. It's retarded.
I'm pretty sure broccoli is the only food she measures to make sure she's only having one portion.
Their weird ass notebook to write love notes and their weights is yet another "we're actually 13 year olds in our first relationship" rather than being fucking adults. It's creepy and obsessive.
H3h3 is boring as fuck, why does it not surprise me that these speds listen to him. Or rather ALR does and wipey watches her listen?
Jade really bought her a mini fridge so she doesn't have to walk to 10 feet to the real one. Bedbound era 2.0 let's go!
@Boolean Bitch Gotta love that dickbag stealing your stuff, not crediting you, calling you "him" (which I think is a hate crime punishable by death?) and shading KF while simultaneously missing the point. But we're all the idiots I guess.

JFC her upper arm looks like Tammy SlatonView attachment 4093887
JFC That's horrifying. How does she even move that thing?

Does anyone else get irrationally angry when she says the word “folks”? I don’t even know why but every time she says it I want to punch my screen.

Things Hambutt says that make me want to punch the screen:

* Calling any, and everything, "she." KNOCK. IT. THE. FUCK. OFF.
* Bayybe-uhh!
* Babe? Babe? Babe!
* Baby! Bay-bee-uhh!
* Fah-leen/muh gir-frien/wifey
* Sooooo, I...
* You need to/have to RUHHLIZZE that...
* I...prrrromisse youu...that ________from McDonald's is fire!
*Melk
*oh muh gah
*calling everything a molment
*Boo boo
*Everything is fatphobia
*Rolling her eyes back in her head the second food enters her mouth as if she's even had time to taste it.

never forget the decimal
The most important thing at nearly 600 pounds, you cannot ever forget that decimal, even if it's point zero.

Her obsession with her inner child and childhood doesn't sound healthy either.

I'm aware that it's a valid thing to discuss when you're in therapy, but it's just an excuse for everything.
I feel like the therapist told her they need to talk about her childhood and she somehow twisted it into acting like a 5 year old. I cannot see any therapist saying "turn your place into a daycare".

Did this bitch just blame her lymphedema/lipodema for her shitty breathing
Lipadema is her new favorite side character. She mentions it 500 times a video. Also welcome back!
 
Your puff tree was indeed shit compared to Jade's.

Oh, CHRONIC DEPRESSION? You absolute bellend. Being too lazy to wash yourself, quitting due to shit being too hard and having tantrum after tantrum isn't ''chronic'' depression, SelfDiagnosingLynn. Literally the only time we've seen genuine depression documented on her channel was when broken simpleton Thumb was doped up to her eyeballs.

Hm, I do love seeing Jade's beer gut, quite surprising considering how many times both Hamber and Thumb tauted how physically fit she was. I know their views of health and size is skewed but come on.

Muh office. Please. She must feel so fancy and professional when she mentions their office.
Twink looks so displeased being held.

''In contEX''. It's either intentional trolling or trying to be the typical quirky bimbo she believes she is.
 
Vlogmas day 18

Did I miss one? I don’t know and I don’t care.

The fat on her face is really filling up.

Oh lord. She won ANOTHER vote against Jade for some stupid craft. She’ll talk about this for days upon days as a humble brag. God im getting mad on the internet. It’s not that you’re good, Amber, it’s that Jade’s suck harder.

She’s going through all her past vlogmas…es and blaming us for the years she didn’t finish them. How is shoving a camera in your face and talking about yourself soooo difficult that you need to quit?

She only failed vlogmas when it was VALIDATED. She was DEPRESSED, assholes!

Lol she dropped chalk and had to bend down to pick it up. Probably the best thing that’s gonna happen this entire damn video.

Bend over, fatty.

Jade gettin fat.

She’s fighting with Jade about her shoe size. Jade said the slippers fit but Amber just won’t have it. Why.

They’re playing board games. How fun can that be with just two people?

She’s saying she’s gonna finished coloring the cardboard house by Christmas. Which is a joke because she could only color like one thing before quitting. She then proceeds to brag about being an artist and creative cuz like, everyone votes her child decorations better than Jade’s.

They say Twinkie’s name and her eyes buldged out of her doggie head. She’s scared to death of Amber.

She says she doesn’t want to bore us but that ship sailed long ago.

She thought her necklace extender came but didn’t that bitch say she’s just gonna pick one up at Walmart? Nope, she had to ship it because leaving the house is hard.

Twinkie is cute af with those pompoms. But she’s being held by Amber and looks so scared. Someone save this dog.

She’s talking about all the medications she has even though she’s never sick, guys.

It took her two days to read 45 pages of a book she’s SO OBSESSED WITH, and she still has no idea what’s going on in it.

H3H3 fangirling. H3H3 is retarded and anyone who likes them is retarded.

She’s filming herself doing laundry. God. At what point in your life do you realize that this is your life? When you have nothing to film but laundry?

She’s filming while Jade is asleep. She really does stay up all night. They probably have to sleep in shifts because they both can’t fit in the bed at once.

She googles what FOMO stands for, which is ‘fear of missing out’, and proceeds to talk about how she LIVES THAT. She’s so SCARED OF IT ALL THE TIME. Yet she films herself doing laundry.

She’s organizing makeup. More interesting than laundry, I guess.

She says she’s an idiot. Thought that was worth noting.

She’s talking about makeup. I’d rather watch her do laundry again. Gawd how does she keep reaching a new low with EVERY video.
Remember how she never cleans her brushes but just buys a new one every time?

She said she got a comment complimenting when she types on camera but…I don’t recall ever seeing her type? She probably just couldn’t talk cuz Jade was sleeping so she lied about it.

As she types, she does blame her boring vlogmas on Jade ‘not feeling well’. I guess for the whole month?? She always seems fine when opening presents…

She says she’s been enjoying her vlogmas and will be super sad when it’s over. Bitch for one you’ve been whining about quitting it like every day, and for two your ass could just vlog every day if you wanted to. You don’t need Christmas as a reason.

Gods.
 
Oh, CHRONIC DEPRESSION? You absolute bellend. Being too lazy to wash yourself, quitting due to shit being too hard and having tantrum after tantrum isn't ''chronic'' depression, SelfDiagnosingLynn. Literally the only time we've seen genuine depression documented on her channel was when broken simpleton Thumb was doped up to her eyeballs.
Then you find out that they're just shitty people who make all of the shitty impulsive selfish instantly gratifying decisions they can make in life and are now in the "finding out" phase of fucking around. There are people with imbalances and there are parasites like Hamber who still try to blame you for their choices.
 
Thanks, y'all, for the welcome backs. I missed you assholes desperately.

Now, where was I? Ah, yes...

quitting vlogmas, makeup declutter, & what meds I take 🎄 vlogmas day 18 - Dec 18, 2022​


There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter Drucker
Hamber doesn't "declutter" efficiently, either. What then? - Me

I will never cease to be amazed at the sheer quantity of crap she buys and hoards. MG,W knew exactly what to do to get Ham to invite her in, too: buy her shit she doesn't need and that's entirely useless, like green roses and a giant teddy bear. And more mini brand crap she'll look at like a brain-damaged three year old, rubbing her grubby paws all over them. Then she'll throw them in a container and chuck them somewhere, never to be seen again until it's time to - yep - declutter. Again.

Hey Ham, you know the easy way to not have to unload your shitty things to Goodwill? Stop buying so much. There you go: problem solved.

Enough stalling, Sitch, get the fuck back in the game.

Stupid intro. I had half a mind to count the number of times these two teenagers said any variation of the word "babe" in her vlogmas crap. Then I caught myself and reminded me that I have a lot of things to do, so we'll just call it a billion trillion times and that about covers it.

Another thing I noticed, making my way through one shit video after another, is that she almost invariably starts the vlog with a hi of some sort followed by "SO" (most often) or "Okay". I even went backwards on her timeline into previous years, selecting random videos and found this to be true.

We begin by Ham showing off some earrings a subscriber sent her. Three pairs, in fact, that she wants to wear three days in a row. Hey, subbie, how about not sending her more physical bullshit to hoard. Especially earrings, JFC, you watch the channel, you clearly know how many she has already. Says she is wearing a "cozy pink" thing and has "blue" on her eyes to match (the earrings, I presume, although I'm not seeing much blue on the eyeshadow front - way to go, LazyGrammarLynn). Puts them on, blah blah. So excited!

It's third grade arts and crafts time! The puffball xmas trees she and MG,W did are next. Her poll between MG,W's tree and hers ended in her winning! Yes! When I look for validation of my work, I also post "Do you like me? Yes/No" poll. Personally, I think both look idiotic. But I suppose this makes up for her earlier loss in Camp Crafts.

NEXT STATION, IRONY! GATE IRONY, NEXT STATION!

Hsmber goes back in time to look at the ghosts of vlogmas past, wondering if she's ever completed one, because "people keep saying" she has never done so. She points out that she did, in fact, complete vlogmas from 2013 through 2017, shitlords! So there! And she isn't quitting this year's, so suck it! Maybe the reason some people haven't seen you complete one is because they only stumbled in between 2017 and 2018 and missed that, so the ones they've seen end in you deciding to quit. That is when your channel of fail really took off. She points out all the reasons 2018 and forward are because of health or muh mentalz. There's nothing better than excuses! So, haydurs, you're WRONG about her never finishing a vlogmas, so there, as she points to the five year gap.

My turn: how come you get to go back x years to point out something, but everyone else - pointing out problematic behavior and speech of yours in the past - gets a snotty "That was x years ago!" in response? Irony! Hypocrisy!

She is not quitting vlogmas, you guise. We'll see, Ham, we'll see.

More baby talk bullshit. Exchange of gifts, because we can't just wait until xmas to open them. Adidas sliders, that she's "nervous" about, just like everything else in her life.

Gingerbread houses. Board game. Stupid crosstalk with MG,W offscreen, of course. Just show her, FFS. We know who she is. Maybe that's our gift for getting through her interminable housebound vlogmas.

Necklace extender didn't arrive, boo, so she can't wear her stupid B necklace MG,W gave her. Ugly ass ghetto font.

Twinky! Rarity! Too bad Hamber can't shut her fucking yap.

Meds: Zoloft! Lamictal! Those are the only drugs I take, y'all! Until you have to get the next round of antibiotics for your illnesses you "never get".

Book update: uninformative.

Laundry: Just to prove to the haydurs she can do laundry with her TRex arms. I guess we can draw the conclusion that previously, when she claimed not to be able to do these things, she was just lazy or lying. In the spirit of multitasking, I will say both. Covered that. Moving on!

Playdoh: yes, you're a toddler. Skip.

"I have been hearing a lot about" FOMO, she claims, also claiming that she doesn't know what it is. Can you stop lying just for a nanosecond, please? No one believes this. You caused your own missing out by eating your way to 600+ pounds. Good job.

Decluttering: STOP BUYING SHIT! If you have to declutter on a regular basis, that means there's something wrong with you. you keep buying crap and then flinging it somewhere, destroying the cleaning and organizing done during the last declutter. Most people would learn a lesson from this after going through it a bazillion times. Not Hamber, though. She plows forward ever the same from day to day and year to year, spending and throwing away the same things time after time after time. Know what you could do instead? Save that money and put it toward the WLS you don't want and will never get. Then again, if she stopped buying shit, it would cut out at least a quarter of content for her - content that would be easily replaced if she would just do something outside the "luxery" apartment, but alas, that would require more effort, and less "Ow, my leg!"

It's makeup this round, again. Something something false eyelashes. Psst, Ham. Those fake eyelashes look like caterpillars on your fat face piggy eyes.

ASMR: another attempt at lazy content. Aw, she's doing it because people say they enjoy it, totally not because she doesn't have to stir or disturb herself in any real way that would involve restricting her diet or expending even a single erg.

That's it! She hopes that we enjoyed it - we did not - and she threatens that she will see us again tomorrow.

Stupid outro.

That was a gentle way to get back into the Amberverse.
 
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