Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

Pat is a heifer-at-every-size

 

[Schwarzwald]

A lot of times I’ll feel bad when reading through threads of cows with actual disabilities. Pat, however, is just a fat faggot who postures as an expert on whatever the popular press’s Current Thing is. As a result, this thread somehow manages to bring a smile to my face daily.

I've always been of the armchair psychologist opinion that Pat has some form of obsessive compulsive disorder that renders him almost entirely incapable of not responding to any given message. I think not responding would render him an anxious mess and he would begin to experience an existential dread or meltdown. He's 100% an unbearable, colossal (literally and figuratively) homo, but his actions and responses are not those of an entirely mentally healthy and rational human being.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Authors used to be paid per word. L. Ron Hubbard once said “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man wants to make a million dollars, the the best way would be to start his own religion.”

Of course Patty doesn't have the charisma, writing ability, will, or stamina to do that.

 

[Pendulous Dong]

[ML]
This is the last known picture of Malik Washington, age 4, posing with an unknown man.
Malik was playing outside his grandmother's home in Milwaukee, WI, when she saw a morbidly obese Caucasian male pull up, quickly exit his vehicle, and grab Malik. Sources claim that he was yelling about stalkers and children before driving off.
If you have any information relating to this child's disappearance, please contact the Milwaukee police department.

 

[Lake]

He uses stalker, child, commas and the same pasted reply about prison so often at this point that his texts/tweets have started reading like what you'd get back from an early 2000s chatbot.

I wonder if he ever accidentally says that shit doing mundane tasks in his day-to-day? Like a cashier asks how they can help him and he just reflexively stalkerchilds them like a fucking madman.

 

[AnOminous]

Short stories wouldn't work for Pat. They require much less commitment and effort to read so more people would actually read what he writes and realize he's a shit author.

Very few writers could make a living writing short stories. They're good for making reputation, but absolute shit for making money. About the only SF author I can think of who made a lot of money writing mostly short stories was Harlan Ellison, and he was an absolute genius.

No, Patrick is not fat. Many things he may be, but fat? No. Such things, however, are plenty.

big
bulging
bulky
chunky
heavy
hefty
inflated
large
meaty
obese
plump
well-fed
blimp
bovine
broad
bull
butterball
distended
gross
husky
lard
roly-poly
solid
stout
swollen
beefy
brawny
burly
corpulent
dumpy
elephantine
fleshy
gargantuan
heavyset
jelly-belly
oversize
paunchy
plumpish
ponderous
porcine
portly
potbellied
pudgy
rotund
thickset
weighty
whalelike

This entire list and you miss adipose.

Smgdh.

 

[Sugriva]

He uses stalker, child, commas and the same pasted reply about prison so often at this point that his texts/tweets have started reading like what you'd get back from an early 2000s chatbot.

I wonder if he ever accidentally says that shit doing mundane tasks in his day-to-day? Like a cashier asks how they can help him and he just reflexively stalkerchilds them like a fucking madman.

I like to imagine his inner monologue consists entirely of stalker and child. Like he gets into his car and thinks: "You are going to the bank, stalker. The ATM awaits. You have been instructed many thousands of times to get the combo meal at Taco Bell, child."

 

[AnOminous]

I like to imagine his inner monologue consists entirely of stalker and child. Like he gets into his car and thinks: "You are going to the bank, stalker. The ATM awaits. You have been instructed many thousands of times to get the combo meal at Taco Bell, child."

I always wonder what audience he thinks he's impressing with his incessant childing. Is there someone out there who sees a pathetic cowardly fat man insulting them, and thinks "he just called me child he must be a badass."

 

[Sugriva]

I always wonder what audience he thinks he's impressing with his incessant childing. Is there someone out there who sees a pathetic cowardly fat man insulting them, and thinks "he just called me child he must be a badass."

Patrick is definitely the kind of person who saw Shadow the Hedgehog carrying a gun and thought "Awesome."

 

[cuttysnark]

Was i

View attachment 4127592
This is the last known picture of Malik Washington, age 4, posing with an unknown man.
Malik was playing outside his grandmother's home in Milwaukee, WI, when she saw a morbidly obese Caucasian male pull up, quickly exit his vehicle, and grab Malik. Sources claim that he was yelling about stalkers and children before driving off.
If you have any information relating to this child's disappearance, please contact the Milwaukee police department.

Was it a six cylinder Mustang?

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

View attachment 4127592
This is the last known picture of Malik Washington, age 4, posing with an unknown man.
Malik was playing outside his grandmother's home in Milwaukee, WI, when she saw a morbidly obese Caucasian male pull up, quickly exit his vehicle, and grab Malik. Sources claim that he was yelling about stalkers and children before driving off.
If you have any information relating to this child's disappearance, please contact the Milwaukee police department.

that's some dark looking pepperoni. and a fat looking man.

 

[Mr Moonface]

 

[Star Platinum]

He uses stalker, child, commas and the same pasted reply about prison so often at this point that his texts/tweets have started reading like what you'd get back from an early 2000s chatbot.

I wonder if he ever accidentally says that shit doing mundane tasks in his day-to-day? Like a cashier asks how they can help him and he just reflexively stalkerchilds them like a fucking madman.

I can't remember, has Pat ever gone head-to-head with a chatbot? Not only would the chatbot speak more organically, I think it would be the only entity with more texting stamina than PorqueSquealer himself.

 

[Mooner]

Speaking of chat bots, I can’t help but wonder if Pat would pass the Turing Test.

My money is on no. I’d bet most people would come to the conclusion that he’s some sort of malfunctioning AI from the mid 90s. Especially after getting a “No, child” or two or three.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

Gather 'round music lovers!!
Any Rammstein fans out there? There better be, you know why? 'Cause I think the band's singer might be a BIG fan of Porky!!

Check ou BOTH this lyrics and the video for "Praise Abort" and decide for yourselves!

LINDERMANN - Praise Abort (Official Video)

LINDEMANN - Praise Abort (Official Video)

Lindemann - Praise Abort by Zoran Bihac The new Album: ► Standard: http://smarturl.it/LindemannStandard ► Special: http://smarturl.it/LindemannSpecial ►…

vimeo.com

Let's start by the fucking title, and general visual elements, shall we?

• Title: "Praise Abort".
  • Praise fucking Abort: this is literally a phrase by which we could summarize about 20% of all of his tweets, incluiding the one he's proudest of.
• Visual elements:
  • The singer is a literal man-pig hybrid, who keeps complaining about his daughters/sons and getting cucked.
  • This thing down here. That's a thing that exists. A thing that GOD put on this earth, at THIS time, and decided WE should see it.
  • 
  • That's a frame of the clip (around 2:09), in which we have:
    • Jaq'uan DeMarius, an "urban" pig-hybrid in a fucking durag, who's the boyfriend of the main pig's wife.
    • He's Fucking (Farting??) in the pig-wife of the main character, thus making him a cuck
    • He's doing in it in a fucking hovel (maybe half of one, who knows?)

Spoiler: Lyrics. Red: 100% Porker's life - Yellow: brief commentary

[Verse 1]
I have six kids and I don't like it
They eat too much and treat me like shit
They only wear Posh label clothes
If you give one hand, they bite off both
And all my friends, they have big cars
Big mansions, too, and smoke the fine cigars
They have deep pockets, I don't know why
I look in my purse and start to cry
Why?

[The main guy has kids, and he hates it, because raising kids demand stuff. You have have to use YOUR money to buy them things!! Money that your other friends have left to use in nice stuff, like cars (an ACTUAL V8 Mustang, maybe?) and Star Wars toys! Not fair! Anyways, the pig is fucking poor and a fag who cries over being useless.]

[Chorus]
I hate my life, and I hate you
I hate my wife, and her boyfriend, too
I hate to hate, and I hate that
I hate my life so very bad
I hate my kids, never thought
That I'd praise abort
Praise abort
Praise abort

[Ok. Nigga hates the entire world, but above all, he hates HIMSELF. And he knows he's a hateful person, and he hates that too (maybe because that makes everyone hate him back and each day he becomes more of a pariah?)]

[Verse 2]
I like to fuck, but no French letter
'Cause without kids, life is so much better
So in the end, I got forced
To stay away from female intercourse

[He's into things.]

[Chorus]

Say goodbye, say goodbye
We rise up, up to the sky
Say goodbye, we'll come back
Soon as pretty butterflies
Make you cry

[Chorus/Outro]
I hate my life, and I hate you
I hate my wife, and my boyfriend, too
I hate to hate, and I hate that
I hate myself so very bad
I hate my offspring, never thought
That I'd praise abort
I praise abort
I praise abort

[He's still hating everything in existence, but now he's admitting he could not resist Ja'quan suave "shiiieeet, shut da facuk up or I'll fuck you too bitch-tits!" attitude any longer. So he has proposed to him too. Awwwww! (Troon arc incoming?)]

If after this you still don't believe God's a Patposter, I don't know what to tell ya.

 

[Lake]

Gather 'round music lovers!!
Any Rammstein fans out there? There better be, you know why? 'Cause I think the band's singer might be a BIG fan of Porky!!

Check ou BOTH this lyrics and the video for "Praise Abort" and decide for yourselves!

LINDERMANN - Praise Abort (Official Video)

LINDEMANN - Praise Abort (Official Video)

Lindemann - Praise Abort by Zoran Bihac The new Album: ► Standard: http://smarturl.it/LindemannStandard ► Special: http://smarturl.it/LindemannSpecial ►…

vimeo.com

View attachment 4128135

Let's start by the fucking title, and general visual elements, shall we?

• Title: "Praise Abort".
  • Praise fucking Abort: this is literally a phrase by which we could summarize about 20% of all of his tweets, incluiding the one he's proudest of.
• Visual elements:
  • The singer is a literal man-pig hybrid, who keeps complaining about his daughters/sons and getting cucked.
  • This thing down here. That's a thing that exists. A thing that GOD put on this earth, at THIS time, and decided WE should see it.
  • View attachment 4128300
  • That's a frame of the clip (around 2:09), in which we have:
    • Jaq'uan DeMarius, an "urban" pig-hybrid in a fucking durag, who's the boyfriend of the main pig's wife.
    • He's Fucking (Farting??) in the pig-wife of the main character, thus making him a cuck
    • He's doing in it in a fucking hovel (maybe half of one, who knows?)

Spoiler: Lyrics. Red: 100% Porker's life - Yellow: brief commentary

[Verse 1]
I have six kids and I don't like it
They eat too much and treat me like shit
They only wear Posh label clothes
If you give one hand, they bite off both
And all my friends, they have big cars
Big mansions, too, and smoke the fine cigars
They have deep pockets, I don't know why
I look in my purse and start to cry
Why?

[The main guy has kids, and he hates it, because raising kids demand stuff. You have have to use YOUR money to buy them things!! Money that your other friends have left to use in nice stuff, like cars (an ACTUAL V8 Mustang, maybe?) and Star Wars toys! Not fair! Anyways, the pig is fucking poor and a fag who cries over being useless.]

[Chorus]
I hate my life, and I hate you
I hate my wife, and her boyfriend, too
I hate to hate, and I hate that
I hate my life so very bad
I hate my kids, never thought
That I'd praise abort
Praise abort
Praise abort

[Ok. Nigga hates the entire world, but above all, he hates HIMSELF. And he knows he's a hateful person, and he hates that too (maybe because that makes everyone hate him back and each day he becomes more of a pariah?)]

[Verse 2]
I like to fuck, but no French letter
'Cause without kids, life is so much better
So in the end, I got forced
To stay away from female intercourse

[He's into things.]

[Chorus]

Say goodbye, say goodbye
We rise up, up to the sky
Say goodbye, we'll come back
Soon as pretty butterflies
Make you cry

[Chorus/Outro]
I hate my life, and I hate you
I hate my wife, and my boyfriend, too
I hate to hate, and I hate that
I hate myself so very bad
I hate my offspring, never thought
That I'd praise abort
I praise abort
I praise abort

[He's still hating everything in existence, but now he's admitting he could not resist Ja'quan suave "shiiieeet, shut da facuk up or I'll fuck you too bitch-tits!" attitude any longer. So he has proposed to him too. Awwwww! (Troon arc incoming?)]

If after this you still don't believe God's a Patposter, I don't know what to tell ya.

I'm so embarrassed for you right now.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

I'm so embarrassed for you right now.

Nah, don't be dude, I had fun writing that shitpost. These last weeks Pat's done a lot of dark, depressing shit, and I've read and archieved them all. A dumb, different kind of post was exactly the sort of stuff I felt like doing right now.

But hey, to each his own right? If Pat taught me anything is that all criticism should be welcomed.

 

[internet friend]

I like to imagine his inner monologue consists entirely of stalker and child. Like he gets into his car and thinks: "You are going to the bank, stalker. The ATM awaits. You have been instructed many thousands of times to get the combo meal at Taco Bell, child."

It's like Morse code, but instead of dots and dashes, it's stalker and child.

Stalker-child-child-stalker stalker-child child / stalker-stalker stalker-stalker-stalker / stalker-stalker-child-stalker stalker-child child

 

[Lady Crow]

Redditors probably didn’t even mention once how fat this man is. Also, he should be very concerned about these developments as AI could probably take his books and make them readable…

I can't remember, has Pat ever gone head-to-head with a chatbot? Not only would the chatbot speak more organically, I think it would be the only entity with more texting stamina than PorqueSquealer himself.

I am shocked that no savvy person has made a PatBot, yet. Imagine the comedy of pitting Pat vs. his PatBot in text exchanges. Imagine a Twitter account that throws together PatTalk indistinguishable from the real thing.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

Jesus, even if he wasn't writing novels, he could easily be writing short stories. Lots of science fiction authors successfully built an audience by writing short fiction. He'd rather fight endlessly with a Twitter account pretending to be his toilet than do anything that might actually benefit his career. He's somehow even dumber than I realized.

Fatlinson refuses to write short stories. According to him, short stories are the "minor leagues" of writing. He told this to Scalzi and his orbiters 15 years ago when he begged to join the SFWA and they told him to publish some short stories to meet the membership criteria (to which Fat of course stamped his hooves and demanded the SFWA make a lower tier of membership so he could call himself an SFWA member, since that's the greatest achievement of his life apparently).

Very few writers could make a living writing short stories. They're good for making reputation, but absolute shit for making money. About the only SF author I can think of who made a lot of money writing mostly short stories was Harlan Ellison, and he was an absolute genius.

Of course not. Short stories are the minor leagues of writing, minor leaguers aren't making the money and getting famous which as everyone with 500 lbs of fat knows is the only reason anyone would become an author.