Tell me about when you got in trouble, but it was totally worth it.

CornBogFitz

CornBogFitz

Titus 1:10-11
kiwifarms.net
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Jun 17, 2022
nothing has helped me overcome social anxiety more than the thought of "todays tragedy is tomorrows comedy" Thinking even if I mess up in a social scenario, I may still remember the negative event fondly brings a lot of courage. This way of thinking has completely changed my life.

Tell me some of your memories that you love of parts of life you didn't love.

Like that one time I put a bumper sticker of a nude anime girl on my dads car before he went to work....or that time I kicked the chief of police in the shin as hard as I could...or that one time I crashed my moms car into my dads car...
 
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When the IRS inevitably catches me for my tax fraud.
Grand Theft Floppa.jpg
 
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CornBogFitz said:
lol can you expound on that please?
Click to expand...
It was a fat partially toothless meth sore having white trash Walmart customer service counter person. The sheboon cashier was chatting with another lardcunt nigger and didn’t scan my coupons, so I went to cs to get it corrected.
This disgusting cunt acted like I was personally taking money out of her pocket for wanting it fixed.
**Mildly screechy meth noises **
“You shoulda have done this over there” and huffed. I said fix it. She got a third fat nigger to criticize me which is when I blew up.
I got escorted off the property and I I didn’t go back to that one for three years.
 
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Quantum Diabetes said:
It was a fat partially toothless meth sore having white trash Walmart customer service counter person. The sheboon cashier was chatting with another lardcunt nigger and didn’t scan my coupons, so I went to cs to get it corrected.
This disgusting cunt acted like I was personally taking money out of her pocket for wanting it fixed.
**Mildly screechy meth noises **
“You shoulda have done this over there” and huffed. I said fix it. She got a third fat nigger to criticize me which is when I blew up.
I got escorted off the property and I I didn’t go back to that one for three years.
Click to expand...
wow sir. you are a wordsmith. I can't wait to start using bovine whore and lardcunt in my daily vernacular.
 
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Told this story when I first made my account, but it's prolly worth a repeat.

When I was in high school, I had this female gym teacher who was the stereotype lesbian soft butch gym teacher. But super Christian. Super mouthy religious. This was a public high school, early 1990's.

She decided one day to force the swear jar angle at me. I forget how much (like a dime or quarter) she wanted any time I said "hell," "damn," "ass," "bitch," etc.
But Fuck cost a dollar back then.

So one day I come up outta the girls locker room with the others. Now this is after (some other time) when I grilled her and sussed out that:

1. I swear, I pay into the jar.
2. No fucking laps. No fucking gym make-ups.
3. No ISS or principal's office.
4. No zero for the day if I participated and wore my gym uniform.

I walked up to this bust-down middle-aged Billie Jean King doppleganger. She was holding her clipboard and gradebook. Before I passed by, I handed her a crisp portrait of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, and

Proceeded to give her
Five bucks worth
of
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCKITY
FUCK

Before sitting on the polished wood floor with the others to wait for her to take attendance.

Damn, it felt good to be a gangsta...
 
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Constellationzero said:
Told this story when I first made my account, but it's prolly worth a repeat.

When I was in high school, I had this female gym teacher who was the stereotype lesbian soft butch gym teacher. But super Christian. Super mouthy religious. This was a public high school, early 1990's.

She decided one day to force the swear jar angle at me. I forget how much (like a dime or quarter) she wanted any time I said "hell," "damn," "ass," "bitch," etc.
But Fuck cost a dollar back then.

So one day I come up outta the girls locker room with the others. Now this is after (some other time) when I grilled her and sussed out that:

1. I swear, I pay into the jar.
2. No fucking laps. No fucking gym make-ups.
3. No ISS or principal's office.
4. No zero for the day if I participated and wore my gym uniform.

I walked up to this bust-down middle-aged Billie Jean King doppleganger. She was holding her clipboard and gradebook. Before I passed by, I handed her a crisp portrait of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, and

Proceeded to give her
Five bucks worth
of
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCKITY
FUCK

Before sitting on the polished wood floor with the others to wait for her to take attendance.

Damn, it felt good to be a gangsta...
Click to expand...
If anyone would've tried to force some swear jar upon me, I'd take that jar and smash it across their head while shoving the broken pieces of glass into their eyes. I would do this, until the dumb cunt's face is reduced to a bloodied mutilation of it's former self. Like the aftermath of a chimpanzee mauling
There's no way I'd ever tolerate someone taking my money for saying a few unwholesome words. It's called a First Amendment
 
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Back in middle school this rat was trying to tell the music teacher that I was playing on a GBA during class. So I took my instrument & jabbed it into the back of his head.
We both got sent to he office & were forced to apologize to each other. That & I was moved to the other side of the room where I could game in peace.
Neither of our parents were called.
 
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Once I was with my buddy, we walked outside of a store and were greeted with a total lardcunt with a pride coof mask
“Excuse me we’re collecting donations for teen suicide prevention.”
I turn and act all interested, ask some questions and follow up with “do you help trans teens?”
“Oh yes absolutely”
“Sorry never mind” cut the conversation abruptly and walk away. Don’t look back. My buddy was so embarrassed that he then pretended to give a shit about the charity. Later found out he donated $50

MFW
E5C0C77E-01A8-431C-8B90-7AD35EEF31E5.jpeg
 
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I had to leave my old school because I took the rap for something my friends did. It was kind of an "I am Spartacus" solidarity thing, but we all ended up getting shit-canned because of it. I wouldn't say I wasn't involved per se, I was more the dude saying "I don't think this is a good idea" and tried to distanced myself to the degree that I could, but when we inevitably got caught, I lumped myself with them and got booted as well.

I was then sent to a small private school for gifted kids that I didn't want to be at, so I decided to make myself as much of a pain in the ass as I could and succeeded in getting kicked out on the first day. I was something of a legend after that apparently, as one of the dudes I'd briefly befriended there came to a school I later attended and told me about it. I caught hell for it at the time from my folks, but I did what I set out to do and ended up going back to my old school after all (after a few brief, irrelevant stops along the way).
 
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End of highschool I got in major trouble which led me to appear in court, got away with it scotfree though.
 
Back in college, I was in my dorm room doing homework while my roommate and his friends played Madden or whatever. One of his friends was this weird little twerp, let's call him Mike. Mike was standing like a foot behind me, watching everything I typed over my shoulder. Awkward as fuck. I could feel his breath on my head. This went on for a while, and I politely hinted to him that he should back off a bit. Dude didn't take the hint, so I pulled out the pocket knife I always had on me, flicked it open, and held it up so he could see it. Nowhere near hitting him with it, mind you. I said something like, "I play with this when I'm bored. If you stand that close, don't blame me if you get hit with it." That got him to back off, figured that was the end of it.

The next day I got dragged into the RA's room because Mike had reported I'd "pulled a knife on him." Got threatened with expulsion and loss of my scholarships, but I somehow managed to bullshit my way out of it. It probably helped that my RA was just too lazy to deal with any problem on our floor.

Later in the semester, my friend and I were leaving the dorm for the dining hall, and walking ahead of us was Mike. He looked over his shoulder, saw me, did a double take, then took off running at full speed, like a dead sprint. Fucking hilarious. It was well worth nearly getting kicked out of school just to see someone flee in terror from a mild-mannered fuck like me.
 
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i got one....when my husband and i were newlyweds...i got mad at him for having a stack of playboys/hustler hidden in a box in our closet, so what i did was this..he was getting ready for school (we were YOUNG), and while he was occupied, i filled his bag with said porn mags, and let him go on his way....i waited until he was in class, and called the security guard at the college, and told them he had a bag of coke and a gun in his backpack. they dragged him out of class, and into the office, and made him empty his bag, which of course was filled with the grossest of the magazines i found, humiliating him.
he was superpissed, but it was worth it. would i do it now? no, but its still funny, idc
also, you couldnt do this in this day and age, because if a college thought someone had brought a gun to class, they would have a full on swat team and god knows what, this was a more innocent time.
 
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One of my buddies lived in an apartment complex and there was a huge pile of phone books in the room they kept the vending machines, so naturally my friends and I started hurling them at eachother. After a while some dude in the adjacent unit started yelling at us so I booked it out the door and got clotheslined by him which kind of absolved us all since he just assaulted a minor. It didn't really hurt and I deserved it but I hammed it up so he fucked off quickly.
 
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