TGWTG Mathew Buck / Film Brain / @FB_BMB - Whiny self-sabotaging British film reviewer, bald as Prince William, thick as Prince Harry. Welshy made him watch porn. He was not pleased. Accidentally took his mum to a sex flick. SYMBOLISM!1!1!1!

I've just had a surreal experience watching something that inexplicably popped up on YouTube:


This is apparently Matty from the future, where he gets his shit together enough to make interesting content. And somehow falls backwards through a time machine, but doesn't bring the lotto numbers, Grand National winners, or useful stock tips back with him, further building evidence that it's really him.
 
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Bogs said:
Jesus this man is in more dire need of a blowjob than any man in history. Or you know, a real job.
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Has he even gotten his dick wet before? I know that it's a bit of a joke to refer to everybody on the internet you don't like as a "virgin" but he's got some really strong virgin vibes going on. I honestly don't think he's so much as seen a vagina up close and in person
 
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Falcon Sebben said:
Has he even gotten his dick wet before? I know that it's a bit of a joke to refer to everybody on the internet you don't like as a "virgin" but he's got some really strong virgin vibes going on. I honestly don't think he's so much as seen a vagina up close and in person
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Yeah, I don't call people virgins as insults because I'm not an 80s movie bully, but there's just no way he's not. I absolutely can't imagine him even casually chatting someone up, let alone being remotely sexual with someone. Maybe not even kissing as an adult. He really gives off "nervous and asexual because his uncomfortableness around people is stronger than his T level" vibes.
 
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Snakebottom said:
That probably explains this bizarre little whinge from Mafew yesterday

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I couldn’t think of when anyone has ever given enough of a shit to harass this nobody but now it’s obvious he was just wanting a #metoo moment after seeing all the sympathy Lupus was receiving. These people are emotional leeches.
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Filmbrain is not being harassed, people just put negative comments on his videos and he acts like he's being harassed to be a victim. You could just argue the ex-CA turned #CTC supporters are the biggest leeches on the internet. They leeched off Doug Walker for almost a decade until they decided they didn't need him anymore and tried to ruin his life with riling up an angry mob with petty hypocritical dishonest bullshit. Now they act like Doug is the reason why they're now not doing well or is the reason why people don't like them. You could also be cynical and just say being a reviewer is just being a massive leech altogether.
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Falcon Sebben said:
Has he even gotten his dick wet before? I know that it's a bit of a joke to refer to everybody on the internet you don't like as a "virgin" but he's got some really strong virgin vibes going on. I honestly don't think he's so much as seen a vagina up close and in person
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There was that time, while filming Nerdquest, he threw up while watching porn, but that seems to have been erased from the internet. And in one video, Vince Vaughan called a car gay as an insult and Buck got really pissy about that. So I think he could be heavily closeted.
 
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Mathew reviews The Whale. I actually want to see this movie but I couldn't make it through the review, it was too boring. Mathew cried at the end of the movie.
Oh, and he has a discord server now (or did he have one before?).
 
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The Skeksis Emperor said:

Mathew reviews The Whale. I actually want to see this movie but I couldn't make it through the review, it was too boring. Mathew cried at the end of the movie.
Oh, and he has a discord server now (or did he have one before?).
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That's the big reason why Mathew is unsuccessful:He's boring with reviews that are too long. His videos are in the middle between the Half In The Bag indepth discussion and the short to the point reviews that someone like Chris Stuckmann or Jeremy Jahns do which ends up pleasing nobody. His reviewing style hasn't changed or improved since he did those written reviews on TGWTG in 2008 so these longer videos only serve to bore rather than inform. It would be a better idea for him to do shorter reviews like Brad Jones does than to continue with the current Projector format which just doesn't work.
 
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Arthur Morgan said:
There was that time, while filming Nerdquest, he threw up while watching porn, but that seems to have been erased from the internet. And in one video, Vince Vaughan called a car gay as an insult and Buck got really pissy about that. So I think he could be heavily closeted.
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Unless it's some shock porn like Lemon Party or something really disgusting I can't see how anybody would throw up watching it. Which come to think of it probably means he's afraid of vaginas which means when I asked if he ever got his dick wet... is probably no.

Although if he was gay he'd probably have been focusing on the guy. I know an actual faggot that likes straight porn so long as they show the guy often or show him being submissive by eating pussy. Film Bald would really need to be deeply closeted for that to make him throw up. Which leads me to believe his parents really did a number on him growing up telling him stories of sexually transmitted diseases and of vaginal denitis or the old folk tale that women have teeth down there which will bite your dick off.
 
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Random Internet Person said:
I think there was a movie made with just that premise on Netflix, and my old roommates and I saw it just to watch the scene with the teeth pussy being revealed. We all had a good laugh at it.
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What was the movie called? Do you remember?
 
Apologies for double posting. But shockingly, Mathew has a sponsor for his latest video. That's right, a real life bonafide sponsor! It's Moviepalette dot com. They make movies into barcodes that you can hang on your wall(?).

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The video itself is extremely lazy - one month ago Mathew made a spoiler free review for this movie, and this is the review with spoilers. But hey, Mathew only had to go to the cinema once to push out two videos, so I'm sure it's a win for him.

 
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The Skeksis Emperor said:

Mathew reviews The Whale. I actually want to see this movie but I couldn't make it through the review, it was too boring. Mathew cried at the end of the movie.
Oh, and he has a discord server now (or did he have one before?).
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Wonder how much he replaced fat with bald in his head while watching the movie.
 
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