r/childfree - Where child-haters congregate

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

And now, an r/childfree Christmas
View attachment 4149987
Always appreciate and honor family, gents.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I know it's not nice, but I couldn't help but laugh at someone torpedoing the good things they have.

I just had a rather nice Christmas with my family this past weekend. It's nowhere near as nice as the previous ones as the bounce back isn't full yet, but it was still enjoyable.

>We used to have such a great time. Visiting each other's families...
What happened to your family, redditor? Couldn't you visit them in this time of togetherness and need?

>we have different life plans
>broke up and back slid
>therapist told us we can't be repaired
>he's a biased Christian REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
So, let me get this straight, the therapist correctly identified that you had different plans in life and because from the looks of things, both are unwilling to compromise, you should split up, and he's somehow terrible for that?

>BUT WERE ENGAGED! IT'S A PROMISE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
It's also about a shared vision of the future, and if at this point the two of your are not in agreement, maybe it's better to break the promise to avoid throwing dishes at each other in the future.

>early on she was ok not having them
>early on
>she'd flip flop
See, that's the problem. EARLY ON.

I kinda regret the strike though after reading all that, but Christmas should always be as happy for people as possible.

 

[Schwarzwald]

And now, an r/childfree Christmas
View attachment 4149987
Always appreciate and honor family, gents.

I completely understand how devastating it can be to lose somebody that you love in your life. It feels like you lose your soul, and you find yourself adrift in an ocean of loneliness and introspection as you reevaluate not only who you are, but what you want out of life.

Having said that, two and a half years is well beyond a reasonable period of grieving. This, ironically, wasn't somebody that he was married to or had kids with or he was with for decades who had become the only way of life he knew. At this point, he's dwelling on the matter and being a woe-is-me sad sack. He had multiple opportunities to work it out, and was unable to do so or prioritize her needs. She stayed his fiancee for however long instead of actually just marrying each other. At a certain point, you have to acknowledge that you weren't right for each other. If they were both unable to tend to each others' needs on such a major issue, it's clear that neither needed the other in their lives and it wasn't meant to be.

I'm sure his fiancee has moved on at this point. He missed his chance, and now it's time for this mopey little wimp to grow up and do so as well.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

More difficult than fifty years ago, definitely. That said if a family in Mexico can manage 10 with nothing but scraps to their name, than a couple in a first world country can manage 1 or 2. Its all about priorities, and what you're willing to give instead of what you're getting. These people are selfish.

Spoiler: Mild politisperging

Yes, because it has nothing to do with money. All the money on the planet won't replace the human element that previously made having children a comfortable progression in life.

That family in Mexico still has neighbors and family, and those social ties probably live and work locally.

I know fairly well established couples making over 350k a year, and they still don't have kids because the logistics aren't there. What are you going to do with kids? Where are they going to go and what are they going to do? You don't know your neighbors, over time high earners are increasingly sitting behind computers so they barely even know their co-workers, people live in suburbs and urban areas where there's no sense of security, your kids can't go outside and play.

Children aren't pets who you can crate up whenever it's not convenient to deal with them, they have serious ongoing psychological needs.

So then people who just popped out kids turn to what a lot of flustered parents do and sit their kids in front of internet devices or send them off to be raised by social systems. And so it won't matter, because those kids won't ever be equipped to have normal relationships or produce healthy children themselves.

These people are dumb, but it's absurd to act like the only reason people aren't having kids is because of frivolous nonsense. There are very critical issues interfering with the middle class' ability to naturally produce and raise families.

 

[Path Wanderer]

CF Men seem to be the flip side of MGTOW incels when it comes to their views on women, but to similar results. MGTOW chuds see women as too noisy and vocal in today's society, so when they desire a GF they want a "trad" submissive mommy dommy to play vidya with and generally slave for them as they vegetate indoors. For CF men, they have come to see parenting and its maternal features as enslaving of women, so they white knight for womxn everywhere by pushing their GF's to focus on their career and or personal fun so they together can live a (supposedly) responsibility free life for Disney World but also for vegetating at home. Both of these views are incomplete fantasies of convenience that betas like Peetz buy into for ideological comfort when in reality it just stunts their relations with everyone they associate with.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Spoiler: Mild politisperging

Yes, because it has nothing to do with money. All the money on the planet won't replace the human element that previously made having children a comfortable progression in life.

That family in Mexico still has neighbors and family, and those social ties probably live and work locally.

I know fairly well established couples making over 350k a year, and they still don't have kids because the logistics aren't there. What are you going to do with kids? Where are they going to go and what are they going to do? You don't know your neighbors, over time high earners are increasingly sitting behind computers so they barely even know their co-workers, people live in suburbs and urban areas where there's no sense of security, your kids can't go outside and play.

Children aren't pets who you can crate up whenever it's not convenient to deal with them, they have serious ongoing psychological needs.

So then people who just popped out kids turn to what a lot of flustered parents do and sit their kids in front of internet devices or send them off to be raised by social systems. And so it won't matter, because those kids won't ever be equipped to have normal relationships or produce healthy children themselves.

These people are dumb, but it's absurd to act like the only reason people aren't having kids is because of frivolous nonsense. There are very critical issues interfering with the middle class' ability to naturally produce and raise families.

Yes you do need to be prepared, and you should try to have a support net, and i'm not saying the powers that be haven't tried their hardest to strip that from us, a sense of unity. But at a certain point you got to take a leap of faith. You don't have to sit them in front of screens, you do that because its easy. As for what you have planned for them in the future; it's their life, you're there to guide them, not be the bumper rails at the bowling alley. They're going to fall, scrape their knee, and i wont even say that it will always turn out alright. But it will never turn out alright if nobody takes a chance.

 

[anustart76]

Yes you do need to be prepared, and you should try to have a support net, and i'm not saying the powers that be haven't tried their hardest to strip that from us, a sense of unity. But at a certain point you got to take a leap of faith. You don't have to sit them in front of screens, you do that because its easy. As for what you have planned for them in the future; it's their life, you're there to guide them, not be the bumper rails at the bowling alley. They're going to fall, scrape their knee, and i wont even say that it will always turn out alright. But it will never turn out alright if nobody takes a chance.

Frankly, it seems like the hardest thing about having kids in the first world today, money aside, is actually finding someone that shares your "family values" to have those kids with. It's hard enough just meeting women these days, and it really does seem like the vast majority of single women today want some degree of the "childfree" lifestyle, even the ones that already have kids, not that dating a single mother is a good idea in the first place. In fact, most of the younger people I meet these days have no interest in having kids, which is concerning.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Frankly, it seems like the hardest thing about having kids in the first world today, money aside, is actually finding someone that shares your "family values" to have those kids with. It's hard enough just meeting women these days, and it really does seem like the vast majority of single women today want some degree of the "childfree" lifestyle, even the ones that already have kids, not that dating a single mother is a good idea in the first place. In fact, most of the younger people I meet these days have no interest in having kids, which is concerning.

I will agree meeting modern women is difficult, no doubt. We all know that. But if you already have one, are dating her, and it's getting serious, it's not a unreasonable request. You shouldn't push, but you should be firm at the same time. Relationships are give and take after all. If she gets to play the value game you should too, and if she loves you, her mind can change. She's still a person at the end of the day, capable of changing her mind.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

I am ugly and I want kids (can relate on nobody I know wanting any), perhaps try dating an uglyish woman?

 

[ZsaZsaBinks]

The women in this Reddit community remind me a lot of the women who rule terrible social justice movements. They’re all terminal womanchildren who think that they’re special just because they have a certain personality trait and believe that everyone has to be completely accepting of that. And from what I can tell, there is a lot of overlap between being a childfree snowflake and being involved in useless activism.

 

[Lady Bizness]

Frankly, it seems like the hardest thing about having kids in the first world today, money aside, is actually finding someone that shares your "family values" to have those kids with. It's hard enough just meeting women these days, and it really does seem like the vast majority of single women today want some degree of the "childfree" lifestyle, even the ones that already have kids, not that dating a single mother is a good idea in the first place. In fact, most of the younger people I meet these days have no interest in having kids, which is concerning.

My generation has had a hard time growing the fuck up, and I don't have much confidence in young millennials or zoomers getting any better. Immature people unfortunately have kids all the time, and I really think if people don't want to have children, they really shouldn't. However, I too am really concerned about this huge societal shift away from having families and children. It's not a sign of a healthy society to have these atomized, self-selected "families", and I don't really buy the narrative that everyone's natural family is so toxic that you have to seek your own family from your weirdo fanfiction contacts.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

My generation has had a hard time growing the fuck up, and I don't have much confidence in young millennials or zoomers getting any better. Immature people unfortunately have kids all the time, and I really think if people don't want to have children, they really shouldn't. However, I too am really concerned about this huge societal shift away from having families and children. It's not a sign of a healthy society to have these atomized, self-selected "families", and I don't really buy the narrative that everyone's natural family is so toxic that you have to seek your own family from your weirdo fanfiction contacts.

This is how cults started.

 

[Path Wanderer]

This is how cults started.

It’s where lolcows start also. When you’ve more than likely severed yourself from every long term objective and reality (community ties , religion, family raising) to pursue consooming, contraceptive abuse, and “the career”, you have created the best possible fuel to kick off an idiocy inferno because no attachments means no true boundaries.

@Lady Bizness said it best that atomized social groups are basically pariah bands with nothing but coping and seething against everyone against them

 

[urr13 account]

I think a huge reason you see so much "child free" sentiment these days is because it has become something of a meme to talk about how insanely difficult it is to be a parent. I got a surprise baby dropped in my lap and all everyone could do when I told them was try to pile on the stress and worry.

"Oh my God are you freaking out yet!? Are you worried!? How are you going to cope!? How will you afford it!? You are going to struggle so much! Newborns are super hard to care for!"

I think there was some kind of mix-up from;

"being a parent is the world's most IMPORTANT job"

to people thinking important = physically difficult/extremely challenging. Combine that with it being rude to correct single mothers who complain about how hard they have it and now everyone thinks raising a child is akin to working in a coal mine in the 1800s where you're gonna get the black lung and lose an arm.

 

[Candlelight Desolation]

Yes you do need to be prepared, and you should try to have a support net, and i'm not saying the powers that be haven't tried their hardest to strip that from us, a sense of unity. But at a certain point you got to take a leap of faith. You don't have to sit them in front of screens, you do that because its easy. As for what you have planned for them in the future; it's their life, you're there to guide them, not be the bumper rails at the bowling alley. They're going to fall, scrape their knee, and i wont even say that it will always turn out alright. But it will never turn out alright if nobody takes a chance.

Yes, parents should teach their kids right from wrong. You can do your best to guide your kids, but one has to realize that all people on earth, including the kids who will grow into adults who will have his or her own likes, dislikes, ideological values, religious values, hobbies, personalities, and aspirations. You can take an active role in sharing your values with the next generation, but going into this with mentalities like "We all vote Democrat in OUR family!" or "OUR family doesn't like things like that!" is only going to drive a wedge between you and that child who may or may not agree with you on everything.

Frankly, it seems like the hardest thing about having kids in the first world today, money aside, is actually finding someone that shares your "family values" to have those kids with. It's hard enough just meeting women these days, and it really does seem like the vast majority of single women today want some degree of the "childfree" lifestyle, even the ones that already have kids, not that dating a single mother is a good idea in the first place. In fact, most of the younger people I meet these days have no interest in having kids, which is concerning.

It is concerning in a way. The advice I've gotten in my life is "wait until you're thirty or forty to have kids!" but the thing is that's how you get things like Chris Chan or your kid still living at home without a job at 25. Having kids late in life (or even early on with seventeen and eighteen-year-old mothers who have a whoops baby in high school) is how you get things like mental illness, retardation, being born blind or with deformities, etc. This is part of the reason why I believe the prime time to have children is 25 to 35. Going back to CWC as an example, you need to be young enough to put a boot up your kid's behind and prepare them for adulthood so you don't get a Chris situation... like what are you going to do when you're in your seventies and your adult kid is pushing thirty and is still living at your home without a job, and you're starting to wear down physically and mentally?

 

[Noble Redditor]

My generation has had a hard time growing the fuck up, and I don't have much confidence in young millennials or zoomers getting any better. Immature people unfortunately have kids all the time, and I really think if people don't want to have children, they really shouldn't. However, I too am really concerned about this huge societal shift away from having families and children. It's not a sign of a healthy society to have these atomized, self-selected "families", and I don't really buy the narrative that everyone's natural family is so toxic that you have to seek your own family from your weirdo fanfiction contacts.

Half of the shit on childfree and associated communities is just baby's first psychology class at community college. I see it all over social media, not just reddit. I'll see a video of a funny interaction between children and the top rated comment is always some faggot giving a robotic textbook psychology lesson about trauma and power dynamics. Forget "no fun allowed," you aren't even allowed to be human anymore.

Here's a top rated comment on a video where two siblings (age 5 and 6) were arguing over who got some candy:

"this is an abusive manipulation tactic called "moving the goal posts". When she said it the first time, it was perfectly fine, but the sister added more demands on how to say it. When she said it the second time, it was perfectly fine, but the sister added yet one more demand, "say please". When she only said please, it was fine, but she asked her to repeat the whole thing again. Now, note that all she had to do was say no after the first time she asked to be able to 'teach the lesson'. But instead she chose to tediously drag it on for the hell of it. It's textbook manipulation and older siblings are usually the ones guilty of it because they have more power in the power dynamic. Is she evil? no. is she going to have trouble with friendships and relationships in the future because of these tactics? probably."

 

[Lady Bizness]

Half of the shit on childfree and associated communities is just baby's first psychology class at community college. I see it all over social media, not just reddit. I'll see a video of a funny interaction between children and the top rated comment is always some faggot giving a robotic textbook psychology lesson about trauma and power dynamics. Forget "no fun allowed," you aren't even allowed to be human anymore.

Here's a top rated comment on a video where two siblings (age 5 and 6) were arguing over who got some candy:

"this is an abusive manipulation tactic called "moving the goal posts". When she said it the first time, it was perfectly fine, but the sister added more demands on how to say it. When she said it the second time, it was perfectly fine, but the sister added yet one more demand, "say please". When she only said please, it was fine, but she asked her to repeat the whole thing again. Now, note that all she had to do was say no after the first time she asked to be able to 'teach the lesson'. But instead she chose to tediously drag it on for the hell of it. It's textbook manipulation and older siblings are usually the ones guilty of it because they have more power in the power dynamic. Is she evil? no. is she going to have trouble with friendships and relationships in the future because of these tactics? probably."

The facile armchair analysis these people feel comfortable engaging in is amazing. Sometimes a cucumber is just a cucumber.

I haven't seen the video but I have the same kinds of conversations with my 5 year old because I would like him to be polite, articulate, and able to regulate his emotions at a developmentally appropriate level. He's a happy kid and pretty confident so I'm rolling my eyes at these people.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Yes, parents should teach their kids right from wrong. You can do your best to guide your kids, but one has to realize that all people on earth, including the kids who will grow into adults who will have his or her own likes, dislikes, ideological values, religious values, hobbies, personalities, and aspirations. You can take an active role in sharing your values with the next generation, but going into this with mentalities like "We all vote Democrat in OUR family!" or "OUR family doesn't like things like that!" is only going to drive a wedge between you and that child who may or may not agree with you on everything.

It is concerning in a way. The advice I've gotten in my life is "wait until you're thirty or forty to have kids!" but the thing is that's how you get things like Chris Chan or your kid still living at home without a job at 25. Having kids late in life (or even early on with seventeen and eighteen-year-old mothers who have a whoops baby in high school) is how you get things like mental illness, retardation, being born blind or with deformities, etc. This is part of the reason why I believe the prime time to have children is 25 to 35. Going back to CWC as an example, you need to be young enough to put a boot up your kid's behind and prepare them for adulthood so you don't get a Chris situation... like what are you going to do when you're in your seventies and your adult kid is pushing thirty and is still living at your home without a job, and you're starting to wear down physically and mentally?

Having the mentality of "my way or the highway" as a parent is only going to have the opposite effect, especially if you had your kids later in life and you want them to take care of you as you get old. You have to accept your kid is different than you, and probably won't agree on everything. You have to love them inspite of their failings. Which is something these kid haters don't understand. Loving someone despite your differences.

 

[AnOminous]

Having the mentality of "my way or the highway" as a parent is only going to have the opposite effect, especially if you had your kids later in life and you want them to take care of you as you get old. You have to accept your kid is different than you, and probably won't agree on everything. You have to love them inspite of their failings. Which is something these kid haters don't understand. Loving someone despite your differences.

You should be glad if your child doesn't agree with you on everything, because do you really want a weak son who cucks out and just follows anyone else, even you?

 

[WelperHelper99]

You should be glad if your child doesn't agree with you on everything, because do you really want a weak son who cucks out and just follows anyone else, even you?

There is a reason I'm a welder; my father was and still is a hardass, a grump of a old military man, and while I went into the trades like him, I didn't go into carpentry like him, gave it a try in high school, not my thing. Its taught me to have a backbone when everything isn't just given to you on a platter. A lot of these kids were groomed and hen pecked, given jobs at daddys work that were basically tard proof, and never had to really worry about things like housing or insurance.

 

[Pedophobe]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I know it's not nice, but I couldn't help but laugh at someone torpedoing the good things they have.

>We used to have such a great time. Visiting each other's families...
What happened to your family, redditor? Couldn't you visit them in this time of togetherness and need?

It doesn't even seem like this is about Christmas or children. He's just upset at losing his fiancé and wants to dress it up as a sociopolitical issue instead of a personal problem.