The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Winnie the Poohnani]

The cherry on top of this mountain of dead alpacas is that every single one of these disgusting sociopaths actually believes they are ethically and morally superior to the evil terfs and KF "bullies". Here they are, standing waist-deep in blood and rotted livestock flesh, having pissed away their GoFundMe gibzbux on everything but the proper shelter and feeding of their animals. And they still refuse to honestly examine or confront their own malignant behavior. Because if they did, they'd realize that they're the bad guys in this scenario. The evidence is right there, for all to see.

Paul is just as much a piece of shit as Phil, if not more so. He can try all he wants to distance himself from what's happened, but he and Phil were the leaders and the power axis of this retarded cult. The troon defense tho is: "With great power comes absolutely no responsibility whatsoever, bigot. Hey, it's time for our ritualistic E-injections!!!"

 

[TyrasGuard]

having pissed away their GoFundMe gibzbux on everything but the proper shelter and feeding of their animals.

It all went to the proper shelter and feeding of Kevin Gibes.

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

Fuck yeah, hope they drop before New Years

 

[Tour of Italy]

I am in awe at how long they got away with it.

How can you possibly see them as anything other than the most protected class in the western world when they allowed a that amount of livestock to suffer and die for over two years without a peep from local animal control.

Local governments need to stop being so fucking afraid of the alphabet mob.

 

[Schatzi Katze]

This final season of Tranch Wars slaps, yall.

I do wonder though if it will end with any sort of real repricussions for these assholes, or if Ol Eating Side and the Pets will just slink off in shame and escape any responsibility for their mass animal neglect and wannabe cult behavior...

 

[AMHOLIO]

They are completely fucked and Paul can call the county sheriff to boot them off at any time. Something tells me the sheriffs there have been awaiting that glorious day for quite some time now.

I don't think the sheriffs would await having to deal with 4-6 mentally ill men running around with guns and having to tell those histrionic mongoloids something they don't want to hear. On the other hand, Phil and the squad are cowardly enough I could see it happen and I'm sure the sheriff will be happy to see them leave.

Not even their bodies could bring a single flower on that land

There's some sad poetry to that.

If you teach someone how to use & check their safety early and often, even with inverted-dicked idiots its very low odds. There are also about 6 of them, and they are moving in the same area, so few changes for friendly fire mishaps.

I don't think OP's talking about safety, I think they mean that instead of yelling at each other with big girl voices, one mentally ill person would go shoot another and all hell would break loose.

 

[AssignedEva]

I don't think the sheriffs would await having to deal with 4-6 mentally ill men running around with guns and having to tell those histrionic mongoloids something they don't want to hear. On the other hand, Phil and the squad are cowardly enough I could see it happen and I'm sure the sheriff will be happy to see them leave.


There's some sad poetry to that.


I don't think OP's talking about safety, I think they mean that instead of yelling at each other with big girl voices, one mentally ill person would go shoot another and all hell would break loose.

I'm rooting for Jarrod to live up to the Fedposter J moniker and try and assassinate Bonnie and Kindness, but fail miserably. The milk would be exquisite.
Plus some time in the clink might straighten him out and get him to detransition.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

So that’s between 5000-9000+ pounds of dead alpaca, assuming they were on the low end of weight because starving.

That’s like three cars in weight.

Kittty llama snack...

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I don't think the sheriffs would await having to deal with 4-6 mentally ill men running around with guns and having to tell those histrionic mongoloids something they don't want to hear. On the other hand, Phil and the squad are cowardly enough I could see it happen and I'm sure the sheriff will be happy to see them leave.

I doubt the sheriff will want to do much of anything with how the Tranch has media allies that will portray law enforcement as evil right wing Nazis doing a hate crime that needs to be investigated by the FBI. As much as I’m hoping for this all to end in a Waco siege with all members 41% themselves, everyone who enabled this animal abuse will just wash their hands of it and move on to another movement they think is brave. Vice is probably writing up a story how the tranch failed because evil Republican locals weren’t accepting of them and refused to help out

 

[DatBepisTho]

The serfs/outside troons clearing out certainly makes a whole lotta sense with the (unsurprising) reveal of hundreds of pounds of rotten pacca flesh stinking up the superfund site.

Mammals don't just drop like flies without something being seriously wrong. Usually the more fragile nonmammal animals like say quail chicks will have quite a few deaths per 'batch,' but not a herd of healthy or decently healthy large animals. One or two, maybe, due to old age or underlying illness, offspring failing to thrive...
But 30+ don't just drop dead just because of the larger sample size.

 

[PoisonedBun]

I'm imagining someone else purchasing this land in a semi-distant future, ignorant of its previous history. They go to dig a hole to build a foundation or something, but everywhere they go they hit a layer of alpaca bones.

Man.

 

[Eggman's Ghost]

Holy shit I've been offline for a few days and I simply CAN NOT get over how juicy this development is!!! Bonnie finally taking shots and saying that they abused 50+ animals to death is an insane thing to just casually admit. We got the mass grave confirmed, and Bonnie even complained about "pets" on the ranch not having to do anything, meaning the massive leeches Kevin and Jen.

The Josie and official Tranch clapbacks are incredible too, because truly everyone involved here is just the worst person imaginable. Bonnie trying to take a stance of benevolence while admitting to burying half their herd of alpaca, and referring to Kindness (who famously pretended to be blind at their house because one of her alters is blind) as a "disabled transmasc" person is so fucking funny knowing the actual details of all these claims.

Also the mass graves and animal deaths are interesting to have confirmed because no rancher or farmer worth their salt would be okay with killing half their livestock herd. A good rancher knows exactly how much money each individual animal will make them, because at the end of the day they represent a product to sell (meat, milk, wool, etc) but because the tranchers never bothered to figure out this very important part of the business model they just...let them die. They couldn't get the yarn thing figured out and likely saw the huge herd as a burden after they overbought them without having a plan.

I think what's crazy about this is we knew all this already, but they were so quiet and careful to hide the state of the herd this whole time that having the alpaca holocaust actually confirmed is blowing my mind.
Cow Christmas certainly delivered this year! Thanks, Santa!

 

[Human Waiter]

I can't find any statistics on the national average death rate for alpacas, not surprising. I know dairy cows average around seven percent, and a report on sheep put theirs at six percent. So I'm assuming an average herd of alpaca is around there.
Being generous we can run the numbers of 30 deaths in a year for a herd of 200, a death rate of fifteen percent, so twice the average. Less generous numbers would be twenty-five percent, about three and half times the average rate. So pretty bad numbers.

On the other hand if these were voluntary culls, being deliberately killed because they have no chance of bringing profit, I think the twenty-five percent would be fine. It isn't really the animals being dead that is a problem, but why they died.

Of course I don't think they are voluntary culls. It would show an understanding of business that the Tranch has never displayed before. Only alpacas with proper breeding have a chance of making a profit with their considerable overhead. The alpacas just weren't hardy enough to obtain food or resist disease, the Tranchers failed to provide needed aid, and they dropped dead.

 

[The Silent Perjority]

They can't feed or house the livestock, they can't afford fuel, the truck died, the tractor was probably repo'd and Phil can't afford a dentist even though they never stop gifting.
What the living fuck happened to the 100 grand Earl windfall?

I know they bought some cheap, shitty cameras and I think a bit of crappy body armour but it was a hundred bags man, what did they spunk it on? And why doesn't Paul mention it?
Did they really get that money?

 

[Shield Breaker]

I knew the Herdamort was real, but having it confirmed makes me both sad and angry.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

Pablo, cynical and clever-clogs Machiavelli that he fancies himself to be, is certainly working hard to tell his story in such a way that he looks as noble as possible. Not to mention getting his self serving narrative out first so as to get the jump on the fast approaching collapse of the tranch.

He whines "My spouse turned against me for bringing in someone to audition for helping the ranch". Audition? Apt choice of words, since everyone at the tranch is larping. Kindness would have been performing a role, not filling a legitimate position of employment.

His referring to the fallout as a "marital explosion" seems a rather benign and disengaged euphemism for how he mishandled the situation with Kindness and Sky. Usually one has to look to the military for that kind of linguistic slipperiness, such as saying "unscheduled disassembly" for something that blew up. In fact, Mandozer would be better served to say that his marriage experienced an "unscheduled rapid and enthusiastic disassembly after the introduction of alien pudenda".

And then there's this mischaracterization:

The reality was that he brought Kindness back to the tranch, where she was struck by an attack of hysterical blindness, and started bouncing off walls and furniture like a roomba with defective sensors. This "blindness" was a strategy on her part to try and force the tranchers to let her stay, but the tranchers were having none of it and they said GTFO. I'm pretty sure her only advice was that they should welcome her with open arms.

Then she alienated/enraged the tranchers further by throwing paper money* off the balcony, which landed in their food while they were eating at the table. (tbf, Kevryn was already alienated by this point, because she had made it plain she wasn't interested in sharing her front-hole with him.) This is what Mandozer means when he says "took their donations though".

Oh, Pablo, you're such a great guy. /sarcasm

*Paper currency is already filthy enough as it is, but it was even more so after it had passed through Kindness's nasty paws.

 

[Procopius]

I bring some bad news for anyone who still believes in the tale of big bad Earl, because it may well be that the story is even more pathetic than we originally believed (and our very own Elusive Earl an imposter). I've just come across a Tumblr account which tells this story:

I am simply here for the entertainmence

Idk how many of you know about tenacious unicorn ranch, but I'm like 99% sure it's being run like a cult. Nobody in the area really knows they're there despite what they claim. They run constant arm…

www.tumblr.com

I am simply here for the entertainmence on Tumblr

archived 30 Dec 2022 13:17:57 UTC

archive.vn

I've had a search on Twitter and I can't find that tweet, but Twitter search has been rigged by trannys so who knows. Thumbs up for that sad little ending "The truck is still on the hill." which rounds off the story perfectly.

Whoever it is continues with a new take on the famous rescue:


and just for completeness, here's the rest of the post.


I just wanted to highlight a couple of posts from Bonnie's recent rant. The air outside may be riddled with atomised alpaca shit, but it's not much better when you get inside:

https://twitter.com/EntrancingStars/status/1608270299933605888

Bonnie Nelson Co-founder of TUR on Twitter: "There's much about the r…

archived 29 Dec 2022 19:39:57 UTC

archive.vn

If you thought that sharing a bed with two other smelly men with leaking axe woulds was about as bad as it could get, think again.

Moving on, if you reckon that Aldo sounded gloriously bonkers on that recent radio programme, well he's got a twitter. A bit whiny and dull for my tastes, but there may be some hidden milk:

https://twitter.com/Huskier_Aldo/status/1608220903934160898

Hemingways Liver on Twitter: "It fucks me up to see someone I care ab…

archived 29 Dec 2022 11:47:54 UTC

archive.vn

Anyone who reckons that Bonnie can't afford to get legal on the ranch, well here's a reason why he can't not. You've heard the old story of people burning their furniture to keep warm. Well the last of the tranchers may well be burning their house to do so. You remember that picture with the fallen down terrace posted a few pages back? Zoom in on it and there's not as much terrace on the ground as there is missing from the side of the house. Could this be Penny's solution to the propane problem. Can Bonnie evict them while there is still some house left, or will he repossess a sad little stove sitting in the middle of a wasteland?

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Man, last time I was to this thread the biggest issue was whether or not hiring a bunch of genderspecial contractors to work on your house was a good idea, and now I check back in and there's alpaca mass graves filled with literal tons of corpses.

On The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch the unicorns may be tenacious, but the alpacas sure aren't.
Also there are no unicorns.

Pablo, cynical and clever-clogs Machiavelli that he fancies himself to be, is certainly working hard to tell his story in such a way that he looks as noble as possible. Not to mention getting his self serving narrative out first so as to get the jump on the fast approaching collapse of the tranch.

He whines "My spouse turned against me for bringing in someone to audition for helping the ranch". Audition? Apt choice of words, since everyone at the tranch is larping. Kindness would have been performing a role, not filling a legitimate position of employment.

His referring to the fallout as a "marital explosion" seems a rather benign and disengaged euphemism for how he mishandled the situation with Kindness and Sky. Usually one has to look to the military for that kind of linguistic slipperiness, such as saying "unscheduled disassembly" for something that blew up. In fact, Mandozer would be better served to say that his marriage experienced an "unscheduled rapid and enthusiastic disassembly after the introduction of alien pudenda".

And then there's this mischaracterization:
View attachment 4166335
The reality was that he brought Kindness back to the tranch, where she was struck by an attack of hysterical blindness, and started bouncing off walls and furniture like a roomba with defective sensors. This "blindness" was a strategy on her part to try and force the tranchers to let her stay, but the tranchers were having none of it and they said GTFO. I'm pretty sure her only advice was that they should welcome her with open arms.

Then she alienated/enraged the tranchers further by throwing paper money* off the balcony, which landed in their food while they were eating at the table. (tbf, Kevryn was already alienated by this point, because she had made it plain she wasn't interested in sharing her front-hole with him.) This is what Mandozer means when he says "took their donations though".

Oh, Pablo, you're such a great guy. /sarcasm

*Paper currency is already filthy enough as it is, but it was even more so after it had passed through Kindness's nasty paws.

Except all anyone has to do is go look at his partner's twitter feed to know that the tranch members were completely right for wanting her gone, that she isn't innocent, and that Paul is a worthless fucking pussy faggot worthy of 0 respect whatsoever for kowtowing to it.

 

[Souji Tendou]

Semi-good news too, but take it with a grain of salt given that Paul does seem to love lying.
On the other hand, if he actually does this and isn't lying, I'll be surprised in a very positive way.


(A)

 

[S.C.U.D.]

This is going to be just like Trans Lifeline. We were saying it all for months, if not years, but nobody listened because we're those evil Kiwi Farms transphobe chuds. We were right! We were right all along! All retarded troons who doubted us are welcome to apologize but I know none will.