Bigot Brigade Something Awful and Friends - The roller-coaster train-wreck embarrassing downfall of a Web 1.0 giant and its tick offspring like from Cloverfield

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Is SA even relevant anymore? I haven't been back there in a couple years. Even their "Photoshop Phridays" was starting to get lame.

repentance said:
If anyone's been following the Shmorky drama, his girlfriend is out of the mental hospital and back posting on SoSe again.
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I do recall a time when Shmorky had a membership with "Crush, Yiff, Destroy" (the furry-mocking version of Kiwi Farms). Not exactly sure on the details, but he got laughed at when he was outed for being a closet babyfur and he fucked off in a cloud of butthurt. Then I noticed he started doing animations for Rifftrax.
 
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Re: the hiking goon. How much donations he received and how many T-shirts he sold? Did people suspect :ruse: ?
 
The only thing I've remembered SA doing semi-recently is the thing where the kid from Hot Tub Time Machine cried until Bleached DSP made Smashmouth Man some eggs.
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master troll made a musician eat breakfast
 
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What was the Smashmouth/eggs thing about anyway? I haven't seen them since Clockstoppers was a thing.
 
Megapiss said:
He got a bit of pity money from friends and family but no one from SA donated anything. He posted lots of pics and linked to his facebook account, which dispelled any suspicions that he was trolling.
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Batman VS Tony Danza said:
The only thing I've remembered SA doing semi-recently is the thing where the kid from Hot Tub Time Machine cried until Bleached DSP made Smashmouth Man some eggs.

master troll made a musician eat breakfast
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*Asterisk* said:
What was the Smashmouth eggs thing about anyway? I haven't seen them since Clockstoppers was a thing.
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Megapiss said:
Here are some highlights from the saga of the mentally ill goon who tried to hike across America.

1BeSkPb.png
6VFtDL8.png
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0Bmpioy.png
He listened to the goons telling him the original route would kill him. He decided to walk the American Discovery Trail instead, starting in a park in San Francisco. He had some Denny's to celebrate the beginning of his journey.
Hm3895w.png
He bought a shitty bike cart from Walmart to carry his water and supplies. It broke on the first day
nnYuEjT.png
On the second day, he had to dump his cart and a bunch of supplies in the park. He also started hearing things.
xBDUhws.png
qIlNcOL.png

This is his progress on the third day, he hadn't even gotten out of the park he started in
or5YF55.jpg
He spent the fourth day sitting around at the ranger's station. On the fifth day, he called it quits because his raisin diet was causing his body to fall apart. Total miles walked = 22/6800.
5FBYzIW.gif

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After failing at walking through a San Francisco park, he decided to drive across America instead. This went as well as you would expect.
DfAHxl2.png

There aren't any major updates after this. The guy hasn't posted on SA since last summer. I assume he finally managed to kill himself through sheer stupidity.
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This is the best thing to come from Something Awful in a long time and makes me miss the old days when stories about users or people users knew made this site worth visiting.
 
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CharlesBarkley said:
Benny the snake I always thought was a cow who never got the limelight, which is a shame.

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Benny_the_Snake
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No recollection of Something Awful cows would be complete without Two Worlds. Ariel Antonio Campos was one of the most brazenly autistic personalities to ever grace the forums, and his ED page is well worth the read.

helldump1.jpg


tl;dr highlights:
  • Believed himself to be the center of "the Arielverse" (yeah you can see where this is going), a comic book series written by a team of writers on "Keystone Earth" and starring an idealized self-insert hero with multiple personalities. It's a convenient coping mechanism - if something bad happens to him, he just "retcons" it. And if the truth can't be retconned out of existence, it doesn't matter. It's just a comic book. It's all just a figment of some writer's imagination.
  • In middle school, he swore a sacred oath to never cuss or cry again until he lost his virginity. He upheld this oath with a devotion best described as inconsistent.
  • Called himself "Two Worlds" because he thought of himself as the bridge between Homo Lumen (normies) and Homo Chthoni (internet weirdos). He is the only one that can transcend barriers and live both lives at once, because he is of...Two Worlds.
  • His obsession with the concept of "Two Worlds" extended to just about everything he posted on the forum. In a debate thread about gay marriage, for example, he came out as being both for and against it. Because he is of...TWO WORLDS.
  • And let's talk about the "multiple personalities." Within him exist The Brute, a projection for his deviant fetishes; The Tempest, a projection for his autistic chimpouts; The Puppetmaster, a projection for when he wants to plan evil schemes just according to keikaku (translator's note: keikaku means plan); The Saint, when he's being a good Christian boy, Partyman, when he's consumed half a rum and coke at the club; and Mr. C, his student teaching persona. After leaving him in the middle of class and abandoning Two Worlds to the mercy of a self-described "dementor attack," Mr. C is presumed dead. On a related note, he's no longer a teacher.
  • His tenure at Something Awful coincided with the existence of Helldump, a flamewar forum for goons to insult and humiliate each other for being goony fucks. Two Worlds christened himself the Defender of All Things Goon and went to whiteknight in Helldump for a forum that already thought he was a laughingstock. Armed with naught but a page of quotes from Gladiator, he painted an even bigger target on his back and got doxxed to hell and back. Once they found "The Arielverse" on his Livejournal, it was all over.
  • In the twilight days of his posting career, one of the mods created a thread called "Goon Love Is The Best Love," where goons would post headshots and a quick blurb along with their location and, ideally, hook up for some hot goon-on-goon action. Two Worlds begged and pleaded to be allowed to post, but at that point everyone knew how big of a sperg he was. So the mod in question created a challenge thread with Two Worlds' dating info. He would have a month to go on a successful date with a curvy goonette or be banned. If successful, he would earn trolling immunity for life and the mods would personally apologize to him for not believing in the Arielverse. He was not successful.
Two Worlds' internet footprint goes cold after getting banned from SA. Maybe he finally got the hint. Or maybe he's still out there somewhere, wandering the digital wasteland and straddling the boundaries between...two worlds............

"I'm not a goon anymore. I'm an Internets ronin. I serve no master, and no Internet e-tribe like the goons, or the Channers, or the EDiots, or the Redditors, or the Diggers, or the YTMNDers, or the Wikipedians, or the Deviants, or the furries. I am simply Two Worlds. I wander the Internets endlessly, and am bound to no rules confining any of the e-tribes."

This ended up being way longer than I anticipated, so here's a video someone took of him dropping some cringetastic dance moves in the club.

 
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Megapiss said:
Here are some highlights from the saga of the mentally ill goon who tried to hike across America.

1BeSkPb.png
6VFtDL8.png
GF9c9xe.png

0Bmpioy.png
He listened to the goons telling him the original route would kill him. He decided to walk the American Discovery Trail instead, starting in a park in San Francisco. He had some Denny's to celebrate the beginning of his journey.
Hm3895w.png
He bought a shitty bike cart from Walmart to carry his water and supplies. It broke on the first day
nnYuEjT.png
On the second day, he had to dump his cart and a bunch of supplies in the park. He also started hearing things.
xBDUhws.png
qIlNcOL.png

This is his progress on the third day, he hadn't even gotten out of the park he started in
or5YF55.jpg
He spent the fourth day sitting around at the ranger's station. On the fifth day, he called it quits because his raisin diet was causing his body to fall apart. Total miles walked = 22/6800.
5FBYzIW.gif

tgHGoxR.gif
After failing at walking through a San Francisco park, he decided to drive across America instead. This went as well as you would expect.
DfAHxl2.png

There aren't any major updates after this. The guy hasn't posted on SA since last summer. I assume he finally managed to kill himself through his own stupidity.
Click to expand...

Hahaha what an idiot.
 
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