Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[AnOminous]

1) Made up surface level "manly" bullshit that Patrick thinks makes him sound interesting and masculine for approving of the act and picking the same knife as this super cool dude

It sounded more like he was insulting a guy with a knife by calling it a woman's knife. It's sometimes hard to figure out what this low IQ moron is trying to say though.

Or claiming he was insulting him. I don't believe he'd actually talk shit to a guy with a knife. I think it's yet another Pat story where something happened, he doesn't admit what it actually was, but he seethed impotently until he went home and made up a story that made him look manly, and not like the effeminate little wiener dog of a man he is.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

This little story is absolutely disgusting and beyond trashy, but is clearly a product of Patrick's imagination for two reasons.

1) Made up surface level "manly" bullshit that Patrick thinks makes him sound interesting and masculine for approving of the act and picking the same knife as this super cool dude

2) I don't believe Patrick would trust Nikki to have a sharp object around him considering that she might have a fleeting moment of sanity and break her Stockholm Syndrome, with disastrous results for our porcine protagonist

I do, however, totally believe that Pat would befriend the type of retard who brings his own utensils to a bar/restaurant, like some kind of irl George Costanza asshole.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

This is just a really stupid tweet. Imagine thinking this was worth putting out in the world.
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(L)(A - not sure it was worth it but force of habit)

How the fuck do people consider this man a sci-fi writer when he doesn't understand science. Temperatures change, even three year olds can understand this simple concept. Toronto is experiencing nice weather because it's outside the 3000km polar storm that was going on. Now that that's gone temps are returning to seasonal normal.

Fun fact. That storm was about the same size of polar storm detected on Saturn four years ago, and the same size of lightning storm on Saturn back around 2009.

 

[I'mThePatMan!]

Determined once more to prove there's no such thing as "too despiteful", man who abandoned his daughter and is friends with ALL the pedophiles decided to make Andrew Tate's arrest about white-knighting for transgroomers. Somehow, Republicans are also involved.

But at least he recognized Elon fought against child-trafickers that swarmed Twitter. Good! Time to bury the hatchet at last!

Oh... ok then.

And last but not least, Elon pisses Patty off by being an actual father to a daughter. The nerve on this Elon fella!!

And just so we never forget the hypocrisy:

Fuck off Patty.

---

Edit: Please, don't forget to vote for Patty in the Lolwcow of the year award. Sure, he'll not win it (the Lucas + Square head Dong + Ralph combo is unbeatable this year).

But even if Pat get 4th spot, that would be amazing! Last year he barely managed to get votes in the C-lolcow tier and yet, look at him now! Swimming with the Big Boys! If he keeps on going like that (and last be honest, he physically can't), he will be a real contender for next year!
I gotta say... I see a bright future for our boy, He makes me proud sniff

 

[John_Smith]

and the part he left out

Him: Your wife has excellent taste in knives. In husbands, not so much.
Me: Prison awaits, stalker.

 

[An automatic clown]

Fat Rick is mad that people can now see no one reads his shitty tweets he farts out from the upside down barstool at Hoolies every half hour

Eta: pic didn't upload, retrying.

Eta 2nd. I give up Link

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Again in recent legal news, Patirck's legal theories also lost in Connecticut: https://reason.com/volokh/2022/12/2...uct-justification-for-harassment-prosecution/


The First Amendment: infinity times four
Patrick S. Tomlinson (unverified): zero plus fat

Off topic but that manifesto was the absolute height of comedy and NIGGER didn't even get to kill someone. I mean, this is how the very first chapter starts, you know it's gonna be good:
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I'm not surprised in the slightest that the programme rates something like this as higher IQ than anything Piggy ever wrote.

He may be a schizo but he actually can write and think outside of the schizo stuff, Pat could never write a document of any length that repeats any single word an absurd number of times and manage to use the word fine in every instance. Like that one gag about all the ways you can use "fuck" is totally beyond Rick's capabilities.

This is just a really stupid tweet. Imagine thinking this was worth putting out in the world.
View attachment 4166356
(L)(A - not sure it was worth it but force of habit)

This would be a banger tweet except for the part where temperatures aren't really open-ended linear scales. Especially not on the surface of the Earth and in Fahrenheit. Other than that, great observation from Fat.

 

[RollingRock2]

Patrick had a productive day today, once again spending much of his time arguing with his toilet, liver, micropenis, jizz, and other inanimate objects

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It takes a lot to crack me up and seeing this guy tell his liver's twitter account that it SWATed him 11 times made me burst out laughing

 

[Maude Snew]

Rick S. Thomas telling armed forces never to return to this place, circa 2023, colorized.

 

[Oliver Onions]

What I'm amazed about him is that his thread would be either locked or forgotten about with around 200 pages tops, if he shut his fucking mouth or stopped using twitter for a while..

Isn't that true of every lolcow? If they just stopped oversharing their every thought and feeling and doing retarded shit for attention this site would be a ghost town.

What makes Pat special to me is his relentlessness. Every other cow has peaks and troughs, but Pat never fucking stops; he's a perpetual motion machine of cringe.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

What I'm amazed about him is that his thread would be either locked or forgotten about with around 200 pages tops, if he shut his fucking mouth or stopped using twitter for a while.

If he hadn't subpoena'd Cloudflare to attempt to dox @Caverlock for making the thread, this thread would be super dead. It was dead even before that, Patrick just wasn't interesting to Kiwis (which in retrospect was a poor judgement), I keep getting errors for "too many requests" when I try to dig through the thread but I wanna say the page count was still in the single digits, after a pretty decent time on the forum, which I remember Caverlock referencing as pretty dead at one point as he posted updates pre-subpoena. It would likely have been one of the many threads that dies early due to lack of interest, but Patrick just had to be Patrick. Everything bad that has ever happened to him is entirely of his own creation. It's incredible. I have never seen another man like him.

 

[Spunt]

Isn't that true of every lolcow? If they just stopped oversharing their every thought and feeling and doing retarded shit for attention this site would be a ghost town.

What makes Pat special to me is his relentlessness. Every other cow has peaks and troughs, but Pat never fucking stops; he's a perpetual motion machine of cringe.

Most cows, even the very dumbest, at least try to change strategy and are capable of very slowly learning - Lucas Werner doesn't pass women creepy notes anymore, Lou Gagliardi has moved his e-begging to Mastodon because Twitter wasn't working anymore. It's rare for a cow to keep doing exactly the same thing for years whilst steadfastly refusing to even change their strategy slightly.

Even the cows who are particularly notable for bring unable to learn from their mistakes and just repeating them over and over - Russell Greer springs to mind - have peaks and troughs. Pat is relentless, and that's what makes this thread so great to read - there is always more content, and it is always funny.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Even the cows who are particularly notable for bring unable to learn from their mistakes and just repeating them over and over - Russell Greer springs to mind - have peaks and troughs. Pat is relentless, and that's what makes this thread so great to read - there is always more content, and it is always funny.

I think another factor that makes Pat so great is his 'purity', for want of a better word. Cows like Ralph or Keffals or Greer regularly have these massive blowouts that are hilarious, but they usually have a negative effect on others and can even ruin innocent people's lives.

Meanwhile Pat is just a pure fucking idiot, a modern day court jester; everything he does only ever hurts himself. Even when he pulled a Ralph and abandoned his child it was categorically the best possible outcome because PCJ (God rest his soul) was an infinitely better dad than Fatty could ever hope to be.

 

[artilleryfroth]

If he hadn't subpoena'd Cloudflare to attempt to dox @Caverlock for making the thread, this thread would be super dead. It was dead even before that, Patrick just wasn't interesting to Kiwis (which in retrospect was a poor judgement), I keep getting errors for "too many requests" when I try to dig through the thread but I wanna say the page count was still in the single digits, after a pretty decent time on the forum, which I remember Caverlock referencing as pretty dead at one point as he posted updates pre-subpoena. It would likely have been one of the many threads that dies early due to lack of interest, but Patrick just had to be Patrick. Everything bad that has ever happened to him is entirely of his own creation. It's incredible. I have never seen another man like him.

I believe we are exactly 1300 pages on since the Apostlegate files were posted here. Patty is a walking Streisand Effect.

It would be a shame if Keffals or Dong-Gone won Lolcow of the year, because they are more hateable than funny in my opinion. Fat Rick and Ralph are far better for an actual laugh.

 

[Hey Fatrick FUCK YOU]

If he hadn't subpoena'd Cloudflare to attempt to dox @Caverlock for making the thread, this thread would be super dead. It was dead even before that, Patrick just wasn't interesting to Kiwis (which in retrospect was a poor judgement), I keep getting errors for "too many requests" when I try to dig through the thread but I wanna say the page count was still in the single digits, after a pretty decent time on the forum, which I remember Caverlock referencing as pretty dead at one point as he posted updates pre-subpoena. It would likely have been one of the many threads that dies early due to lack of interest, but Patrick just had to be Patrick. Everything bad that has ever happened to him is entirely of his own creation. It's incredible. I have never seen another man like him.

The day Null announced the subpenor, the thread was on page 5 and had not been replied to in almost 2 weeks

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

The day Null announced the subpenor, the thread was on page 5 and had not been replied to in almost 2 weeks

View attachment 4167778

The Streisand Effect is real. Perhaps we should rename it the Fatrick Effect?

 

[AnOminous]

Like that one gag about all the ways you can use "fuck" is totally beyond Rick's capabilities.

Pat is a fucking fucked-up fuckface fucker who fucks fucking fucks. Also he's fucking fat.

 

[Ophelia]

The only inactive cow thread I know of that keeps going is Dobson’s. I don’t think Pat would have the same staying power if he chose to drop off the internet. Maybe new people would be interested in hearing The Legend of Fatprick and it would go on for a while, but not like this.

It would be a shame if Keffals or Dong-Gone won Lolcow of the year, because they are more hateable than funny in my opinion. Fat Rick and Ralph are far better for an actual laugh.

Those two are having an effect on the site everyone who uses it can feel. Patrick is much more fun (and interesting), but these are special circumstances. I’m sure he’ll kick up enough of a fuss to be in the running next year, though.

 

[Meriasek]

The Streisand Effect is real. Perhaps we should rename it the Fatrick Effect?

I thought on KF it was now known as the Byuu or Near Effect?

 

[breadandcircuses]

It mat be big gay of me too say this, but I think Patrick is my favorite person in the world.

The Endless Hours of Entertainment provided by this man pig beats out any other lolcow.