The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Hitman One]

Tranch seems to be going Chernobyl.

I'd prefer a week in Chernobyl to spending five minutes at Alpacau.

 

[FinnSven]

I propose launching the Alpaca Defense League in addition to several Alpacaust museums.
AGPitler and his Neutered Socialists must be tortured, interrogated, tried, executed, and have their history and cultures wiped from the earth

Well they have seen to their history and culture wiped from the earth because no further children are possible from them and Penny’s children probably hate him.

I would rather just see them serve lengthy prison sentences.

In men’s prisons.

 

[F13 Key]

Still no updates of the sheriff's office blotter since the 27th. They usually keep up on updates fairly religiously so either the person running the website is absent, or there's just been no criminal activity or responses there for them to report on.

 

[Chewing Character]

The alpaca death statistics are bad, but it'll absolutely get worse once someone drops the death statistics for the other farm animals the Tranch hoarded. Those alpaca death pits probably had chicken, sheep, goats, and ducks to fill in any available empty space like Tetris tiles.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I propose launching the Alpaca Defense League in addition to several Alpacaust museums.
AGPitler and his Neutered Socialists must be tortured, interrogated, tried, executed, and have their history and cultures wiped from the earth

Alpaca Defense League sounds like a great name for a band or t-shirt.

 

[WarJams]

Still no updates of the sheriff's office blotter since the 27th. They usually keep up on updates fairly religiously so either the person running the website is absent, or there's just been no criminal activity or responses there for them to report on.

I mean, the period between Christmas and New Years is a dead zone where nobody really does anything at work besides plan the office party.

 

[Cuckoman]

Then the dogs are going in the house smelling of rotting flesh and bringing maggots in that were on the alpacas.

The floor is covered and soaked in catpiss. The catpiss will kill the maggots.

 

[F13 Key]

I mean, the period between Christmas and New Years is a dead zone where nobody really does anything at work besides plan the office party.

They had a normal caseload during that period last year. Crime doesn't take holidays off, as they say.

 

[Cuckoman]

I wouldn't burn that wood if I was them, but then again thank god I'm not. I wouldn't be surprised if it was some kind of treated lumber. You really shouldn't be burning that indoors. Here's a table from a lumber company describing the treatment and applications. Of note is UC4A, for decks.
View attachment 4170338
CCA = chromated copper arsenate
MCA = micronized copper azole,
CA = copper azole.

I'm not a chemist, but I know you don't fuck with chromium and arsenic, and that azoles have nitrogen which you don't want to burn with carbon because cyanide anions and shit. So, basically don't go burning random wood you find, those old railroad ties for instance are very bad, they have creosote along with CCA.

Of course, they might very well be burning it - they aren't the smartest alpacas in the herd.

With some luck they are using it for cooking or roasting marshmallows?

 

[Souji Tendou]

The floor is covered and soaked in catpiss. The catpiss will kill the maggots.

A genius move by the tranchers. Bravo Penis.

 

[Glowie]

When you shave every Alpaca before record low temperatures hit and troons can't build anything, much less a shelter.

I'm surprised that this troon ranch hasn't been Waco'd

Troons are menace to society and animals alike.

 

[Ghostse]

Al-schwitz if you will.

This is Alpacaschwitz. Troonblinka is the death camp run by the disgraced founders of TLL.

They took too many in and the Alpaca's ate the roots of the grass. They had no actual fucking knowledge of animal husbandry, basic gardening, soil science, or farming in general. It was basically a few spoiled kids, a loser from the military, and abused women fucking around and hoarding animals.

A kiwi gets a Dept of Agri chart and figured the Tranch could sustainably support about 3 Alpaca. They had 200-some Alpaca at peak (or I guess I should say per tranch social media posting, received 200+, RIP mass-grave Alpaca)
The Alpaca starvation-chewed the grass and trampled it. The morons also brought in sheep, so even if they had kept the land at sustainable levels of alpaca density, the sheep would have chewed down the grass to the point the alpaca couldn't feed on it.

If you have like 1000 acres of grazing land, you can herd rotation where your top grazers go into a pasture, then the sheep, then you rest the land to let the grass regrow, but the Tranch was on marginal scrub and they made no effort to separate the animals.

In terms of organized depravity, this is takes the cake. How could these fucking faggots be so cruel and callous to these guys?
View attachment 4170804
Give MATI, I don't care, I hope every troon is wiped off the face of the Earth. Thats the only thing that could avenge these Alpaca's.

It would be understandable if it was llamas. Those spiting, biting little bastards would deserve it.

Someone on twitter came up with a different theory on why they died. Well ultimately it's a different form of neglect, and just another way they had no clue what they were doing

View attachment 4171007

https://twitter.com/feralcoon/status/1608839974153256961

As they say, there was potentially a profitable business there, but it would have involved hours of boring drudge work preparing the wool, and far fewer of those ladies coffee mornings.

The worm thing makes perfect sense, especially with rescue alpaca showing up regularly.
and of course anything that requires work the Tranchers wouldn't be doing.

Profitability is a lie though. Well, a misstatement.
Alpaca fiber isn't profitable; it could be, but the market is too small and niche. It is TOO warm and IIRC doesn't have the lanolin sheath that gives wool its desireable properties (bacterial/fungal resistance and insulates-when-wet). Also while you can blend wool (or put it on an acryllic lattice to limit shrinkage and promote stretching) to create "washing machine-tolerate" wool fabrics, you cannot do that with alpaca wool. Dry-clean only.

There are two types of Alpaca wool (that must be sorted, making it more expensive to process) and unless you are a subsistance herder in the andes, you only want the soft inner fiber that can only be harvested every two years.

Its technically profitable if you do the entire operation yourself, but you don't want to look at what your hourly wage would be. And the tranchers couldn't be assed to properly clean their wool.

 

[behindyourightnow]

 

[StacticShock]

I'm not sure what is more hilarious; that Paul has admitted that Kiwifarms is right or that he's pretending his meth smoking blind robot bird girlfriend could have been a troon trauma counselor to confused men in dresses.

I mean kiwifarms OP's fact checks their shit, he pretending his meth smoking blind robot bird girlfriend could have been a troon trauma counselor to confused men in dresses is way funnier if you say the whole thing out loud.

 

[Zaryiu2]

It’s pretty incredible that The Tranch progressively gets worse and worse every year without fail.

Just like the "people" living there

 

[Tasty Tatty]

When you shave every Alpaca before record low temperatures hit and troons can't build anything, much less a shelter.

I'm surprised that this troon ranch hasn't been Waco'd

Troons are menace to society and animals alike.

Alpacas here are often sheared in October, little before it's winter in South Peru (Nov-Mar), going from 24ºC/75ºF to -3ºC/35ºF (night) and Alpacas can live well in -20ºC/-4ºF. So, imagine HOW BADLY they were treated if they died in the cold. This is like a cactus dying for not getting water.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

On the Wikipedia page, it is claimed that Penny grew up on a farm and was taught to farm by his Grandfather.

Farming is not automatically dealing with livestock however, his grandfather could have been a grain farmer or something.

If Penny is claiming to have been taught by his grandfather, could it be that it was the same 'farm' that they're planning to bug out to? The 5 acre one?
Everyone keeps saying he's heading to his parents' place, but I thought that Anahid (one of the listed owners) was his grandmother.

Wedge joined the game
View attachment 4170439
Tweet | Archive

I second really wanting to know what Wedge is talking about here. Reading this thread and not Kevin's (I'm sorry, his nonstop fhsjsjdjf'ing hornyposts are more repulsive than straight-up amhole) means that last I heard of Wedge, he was the clown larger with a cheese wedge dick who blew out his asshole and had basically gotten Kevin to buy him a plane ticket before ghosting him with some other fuckbuddy.
He barely even spent more than a day or two on the Tranch because he was hilariously off somewhere else fucking someone else; what could they possibly have done to 'ruin his life'?

 

[Ghostse]

I wonder if Ash is paying attention to all this. If it blows up and the tranch gets cancelled and/or into some kind of legal trouble, he’s sitting on a goldmine of footage that he refused to spin into what they wanted previously.


View attachment 4169777View attachment 4169781

This shit makes me so mad. You can easily disprove tranny lies. There is a perponderance of evidence. But they cannot take the L, and retards will continue to believe them as a valid source.
They destroyed that land. They lied. They were awful to each other.

I know they aren't journalists (and lol journalist in current year) but have SOME kind of integrity.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Can't add too much to the farm/ranch sperging about potential causes of death other than to add that IIRC they were feeding the alpacas straight dry hay, which is not nutritionally adequate. Also, they were dumping it on the ground, which as some farmers pointed out, meant that the strongest and healthiest alpacas were able to eat first and the beta alpacas were getting stuff the stronger animals had stepped on.

Animal nutrition is a science. People get PhDs in this.

Also, I don't think they ever had their teeth trimmed, no?

Anyone who has ever had a dog or a cat knows what a money pit one animal can be.

I very strongly doubt that they had a vet take a cursory scowl at each animal once a year.

Penny should go in the leaky, shit-smelling bathroom and eat a gun.

 

[Ghostse]

EIGHTEEN ROTTING ALPACAS UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS AT TRAN RANCH

THE SMELL OVER POWERED BY EIGHTEEN UNWASHED TOONS WITH FLACCID, INVERTED COCKS
THE SHOWERS AT TRAN RANCH RANCH ARE DUSTY AND UNUSED
TRAN RANCH REALLY ROCKS