Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Jack’s new shirts go all the way up to 3XL, though I’m pretty sure he’s at least a 5XL.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

Jack’s new shirts go all the way up to 3XL, though I’m pretty sure he’s at least a 5XL.

View attachment 4171212

So the reason Jack does not wear his own shirts is that he does not fit into them.

 

[ZipDisk]

Shotgun Steve also had the decency to SHOW THE PREP.

He didn't edit out the parts he felt boring. He showed you HOW TO MAKE THE FOOD.

I like his videos and have done several of the recipes. He was definately cow worthy, and I feel very sad he couldn't modify his diet to spend more time with his family. The love in those videos is clear, unlike the cold shitty scalfani house.

Where the gooses come to collect.


Korean Joes:

Be funny if the Norks took the war hot and used this as justification.

Hope finally did something that annoys me, she went up on the counter. You can't let your dog do that. Still sign of bad owner, not bad dog.

That Sriracha is darker than soy sauce.

Jack whines about us tracking the jarlic.

Some actual prep!

"thanksgiving" this video is ancient.

DIE FLOPPY BOWL, DIE!

The resulting product was ugly, and certainly tasted horrible.

HAHA, JACK IS MAD ABOUT THE MMM GUD!

This is a fantastic thanksgiving gift. Even Tammy suffered.

Tammy reviews it as gud.

HOLY FUCK SHE WASHED HER MOUTH OUT!

 

[Poutine It Here]

The last T-shirt design is particularly retarded

View attachment 4166501

These shirts are embarrassing. This is stuff a 3rd grader would have made with MS Paint in 1993.

Plus no one in the real world knows what JOTG stands for, hell even Jack's wife doesn't know. If you saw a grown ass adult in a t-shirt that says pizza is better than toothbrushes you would think they were out on a day pass from the group home! A helmet should be included with the purchase of these.

 

[p1138]

What the fuck even is this?

That is not what sriracha is supposed to look like. This has to be a bottle he's had in the fridge for 5+ years that's just been fermenting into some god awful mess.

 

[AnOminous]

That is not what sriracha is supposed to look like. This has to be a bottle he's had in the fridge for 5+ years that's just been fermenting into some god awful mess.

I've had that shit for over a year without it changing even slightly in color. He's had that shit forever, maybe even sitting out at room temperature.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Korean Sloppy Joe's sounds like something Jr makes in the gym locker room with the church boys.

There is absolutely nothing Korean about this recipe. If only Korea was famous for its barbecue and have some sort of sauce that would make for a good sandwich.

Jack's starting to regret forgetting how to disable comments, that fat bitch is getting angy.

As for the slop itself, if I was served something like that, it'd go straight in the fucking trash. Don't give me a pot of soup and expect me to make a sandwich of it. Nothing pisses me off about otherwise perfectly good food than sopping wet bread.

And i'd bet a dollar that that's the same bottle of siracha we saw a year or couple ago and were saying it's rancid then. That shit's so old the top half is caked in dried out sauce, nevermind it's almost black.

 

[ZipDisk]

Why does the tamham not throw away the rotting contents of her fridge? At this point it would be self defense!

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Korean Sloppy Joe's sounds like something Jr makes in the gym locker room with the church boys.

There is absolutely nothing Korean about this recipe. If only Korea was famous for its barbecue and have some sort of sauce that would make for a good sandwich.

At 1:32 you can clearly see that Jack edited the footage to make it seem like he grabbed the bottle of soy sauce with his right hand. It's obvious he fitted it into his claw before the shot. Just look at the spasticity of the claw once he pulls the bottle out with his left hand; it practically recoils.

Also there is no way that was only 4 tablespoons of soy sauce. It looked like he dumped out 1/4 of the bottle.

 

[ZipDisk]

I actually took a burrito tip from Jack.

When he rolls his burrito, he does an initial roll over the fillings. THEN he folds in the edges and rolls.

This goes against everything I have ever been taught.

But it turns out, fumblenuts found a win. I did this tonight with the burritos, and there were no bottom blowouts.

Granted, fat fuck then FRIED his burritos, making "healthy" chimichangas, and I just rolled fresh burritos, but I was shocked to actually learn something from the Gimper.

I may have already posted this and am drunk now. Whatever. Still shocked Jack was right about anything.,

 

[Staffy]

Another hard to believe scenario spewed from the delusional fat:


EDIT: There's also some 3 replies on the previous comment post screenshot I put up. If FB is not screwing up, it can only mean Jackoff did some comment hiding/deleting.

EDIT 2:

Spoiler: Getting called out

 

[She Brings The Rain]

"where the Frick"
Woah, Jack, let's tone down the language here. I always enjoy seeing him write some smarmy, judgmental post with his smug ass Bitmoji, only to go full defensive when people, rightfully, call him out for being a hypocritical asshole. It's like clockwork.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Korean Sloppy Joe's sounds like something Jr makes in the gym locker room with the church boys.

There is absolutely nothing Korean about this recipe. If only Korea was famous for its barbecue and have some sort of sauce that would make for a good sandwich.

Fuck that's disgusting.

To make it "Korean" he really needed to swap out most of that stuff. I mean ketchup? Get the fuck out of here. And of course he doesn't drain it before adding the sauce so the pan is full of grease meaning that's going all over the plate and the dish making it even worse.

Instead of Sriracha use gochujang. I'd have added some ginger and maybe some fish sauce. Drop the hoisin completely. Then top it off with kimchi and chopped green scallions.

 

[Pig Cups]

The last T-shirt design is particularly retarded

View attachment 4166501

The first two designs, though retarded, make at least an iota of sense.

I’ve pondered it for 15 minutes, and I still can’t fathom what “>” is supposed to mean. Other than the extremely autistic “eating pizza beats brushing one’s teeth,” what’s the fucking point? Did he mean to insert another image, yet fucked up and inserted a toothbrush? And after all that, either said “fuck it” and didn’t bother to change it? Or (horrifyingly) did he not even detect the error out of sheer brain-deadness?

Jack would be tone-deaf enough to not see how complaining about toothbrushing makes one look like a fucking petulant child. Most functional adults are aware of the necessity of the activity, yet because they do it so much, it becomes as regular as blinking/breathing air. Therefore, they barely notice that they’re doing it at all, which makes complaining about it flabbergasting.

…And Jack is complaining about it. Fail overload.

I guarantee you he uses a toilet wand. Awkwardly, incompletely. He must stink in person. Maybe Our Man Rob can obliquely confirm this somehow.

Jack would be a prime candidate for Comfort Wipe ownership.


(Based on common sense and reviews I’ve seen, that thing is awkward and unwieldy- you’d get a far superior and thorough job from just using your fucking hand.)

His breath probably smells worse than the shit on his unwiped ass.

I think it’d probably be more tolerable to have Whitey Bulger exhaling into your face than Jack.


Fucking dead-toothed Irishman Whitey, whose breath supposedly reeked of whiskey and tobacco juice. I’m sure the razor stubble and lack of hygienic care would make for a really nice touch.

 

[AnOminous]

I’ve pondered it for 15 minutes, and I still can’t fathom what “>” is supposed to mean. Other than the extremely autistic “eating pizza beats brushing one’s teeth,” what’s the fucking point?

I always just assume the dumbest possible interpretation is what Jackoff means. I can't see anything other than him admitting he is a piece of shit who never brushes his teeth.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Cauliflower Potato Salad (Golden Series) Because a video from 9 months ago with 18,000 views is an all time classic that deserves to be on the channel twice.

 

[captkrisma]

Lol I remember that guy.

I saw him on some paddle wheel dinner show boat on the river besides Nashville back when the opera land park was open. It was full, of implied racism of the old south under some romantic light.

Anywho, the puppet guy just recycled well known jokes (FIAT = FIX IT AGAIN DONY XDXDXEXDXD EBIN). But yeah he played on that geriatric cruise down the river and back serving 90’s banquet food.

That cruise shit still goes on to this day, still offering shitty covers of classic tunes and even shittier food.

 

[Simon]

I always just assume the dumbest possible interpretation is what Jackoff means. I can't see anything other than him admitting he is a piece of shit who never brushes his teeth.

Or he brushes his teeth with pizza.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack would be a prime candidate for Comfort Wipe ownership.


(Based on common sense and reviews I’ve seen, that thing is awkward and unwieldy- you’d get a far superior and thorough job from just using your fucking hand.)

The mere fact that somebody has to use a toilet wand or one of these devices should be a wakeup call to lose some freaking weight. And what do you do if you're out and about and need to drop a deuce? You don't carry one of these things with you so... do these people just not wipe or do they need to be contortionists to do so?

Or he brushes his teeth with pizza.

As sad as it is... I could believe that Jagoff would do such a thing.

 

[ZipDisk]

They walk around unclean and smell bad. Those obese people cannot maintain proper hygiene.
I hate that you reminded me of that. I had fat relatives that always stank of shit, and I knew what it was. So, the horror was doubled.