James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

Which videos do you like the most from Cinemassacre?

  • Angry Video Game Nerd

    Votes: 1,811 63.5%

  • You Know Whats Bullshit

    Votes: 143 5.0%

  • James and Mike Mondays

    Votes: 96 3.4%

  • Board James

    Votes: 441 15.5%

  • Monster Madness

    Votes: 270 9.5%

  • James' movie reviews

    Votes: 90 3.2%
  • Total voters
    2,851
Finally got around to playing the first AVGN game. Overall pretty good, despite a few bullshit areas and the like. It's carried heavy by the jokes and references, but that's not a bad thing to me. 8/9 levels were cool, with Atari Porn being one of the most unique levels I've played. Even when it's being hard and "bad", for the most part it's fair. I repeat, for the most part.

Then there's "Boo! Haunted House" which is such a terrible level that whoever made it should get an un-lubed dildo shoved up their ass. So difficult and annoying that it almost ruined the game for me because of the level's gimmick (Can't see shit). Every other level took me about 7 minutes with around 10-20 deaths, collecting all/most of the collectibles. Fair enough. That monstrosity took me nearly a half hour with almost 100 deaths. The fuck!

All that said I'm pretty excited to play the sequel.
 
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The AVGN games are very mediocre. It feels like it was designed by an A.I. if you were to feed it AVGN shit and tell it to create an action platformer. The only part I sincerely liked is when you kill Santa and ride his corpse down a mountain. That was a peak into some level of creativity and fun. But the constant use of death blocks was very lazy and arbitrary.

I beat the first game and played a little bit of the 2nd one and stopped because it was more of the same. If Screenwave is going to use the same guy who made the other two to make the NES one then it's going to suck. Assuming the NES game didn't die a quiet death.

There doesn't need to be an AVGN game. Just play the Mega Man 2 hack that adds the AVGN sprite and you're done.
 
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TV's Adam West said:
You leave Ross Scott out of this!
It really is interesting how many parallels there is between James and Ross. If I wasn't at work, I'd make a list.
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I rate this comparison 9/11. Scott can hold a monologue for an hour while Rolfe can barely hold a conversation about the weather. Maybe Scott is the same when not scripted, dunno I don't watch his livestreams.
BrunoMattei said:
I don't know what that is.
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Ross's Game Dungeons are hour-long shitposts about obscure, often very old and weird games. Think Civvie11 mixed with Ssethtzeentach.
Freeman's Mind is a playthrough of Half Life 1 with Freeman's inner shitpost monologue.
Ross Scott looks like an autistic metalhead Miguel Hidalgo.
 
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BrunoMattei said:
The AVGN games are very mediocre. It feels like it was designed by an A.I. if you were to feed it AVGN shit and tell it to create an action platformer. The only part I sincerely liked is when you kill Santa and ride his corpse down a mountain. That was a peak into some level of creativity and fun. But the constant use of death blocks was very lazy and arbitrary.

I beat the first game and played a little bit of the 2nd one and stopped because it was more of the same. If Screenwave is going to use the same guy who made the other two to make the NES one then it's going to suck. Assuming the NES game didn't die a quiet death.

There doesn't need to be an AVGN game. Just play the Mega Man 2 hack that adds the AVGN sprite and you're done.
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I swore I was the only one in the world who thought the games were mid at best. The games had a lot of stupid bullshit and the whole "it's like the NES" and "it's shitty just like a nerd game he reviewed" excuse seemed to be used to dismiss any criticism of the overuse of deathblocks taking up 90% of the game, and other gay shit.
 
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Pringles Can said:
I swore I was the only one in the world who thought the games were mid at best. The games had a lot of stupid bullshit and the whole "it's like the NES" and "it's shitty just like a nerd game he reviewed" excuse seemed to be used to dismiss any criticism of the overuse of deathblocks taking up 90% of the game, and other gay shit.
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There's way better NES homages out there too.
 
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Shieldman said:
www.reddit.com

r/TheCinemassacreTruth - Bimmy in special ed.

82 votes and 35 comments so far on Reddit
www.reddit.com www.reddit.com
The audiobook has been out for a while, but I'm too lazy to make a Audible account and get it for free to rip it.
From what I hear is the same droning mechanical voice all the way through, you almost think is the AI voice.
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If you love falling asleep to audiobooks then look no further, i haven't got past the first chapter yet and i have tried to listen to it 4 times now.
 
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Shieldman said:
www.reddit.com

r/TheCinemassacreTruth - Bimmy in special ed.

82 votes and 35 comments so far on Reddit
www.reddit.com www.reddit.com
The audiobook has been out for a while, but I'm too lazy to make a Audible account and get it for free to rip it.
From what I hear is the same droning mechanical voice all the way through, you almost think is the AI voice.
Click to expand...
I have an audible account but I don't know how to rip it.
 
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BrunoMattei said:
The only part I sincerely liked is when you kill Santa and ride his corpse down a mountain. That was a peak into some level of creativity and fun.
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That was taken from Cliffhanger: The Video Game, where one boss fight has you snowboard his corpse down a cliff slope. It's probably the only one good thing about that game and despite it being cool (not in the mood for puns) it's technically not original.

Pringles Can said:
I swore I was the only one in the world who thought the games were mid at best. The games had a lot of stupid bullshit and the whole "it's like the NES" and "it's shitty just like a nerd game he reviewed" excuse seemed to be used to dismiss any criticism of the overuse of deathblocks taking up 90% of the game, and other gay shit.
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I've had a feeling about this. The games look really amazing in terms of graphics and the music is great too, but it definitely looked like it played incredibly monotonously throughout with a lot of one trick ponies here and there. Those death blocks couldn't be programed to be anything else? And then there's 2. It has The Nostalgia Critic in it. No thanks.
 
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Murenu said:
I've discovered is that the moment he fell off is Bible Games III. It's pretty apparent. We've never got the old James back.
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That video was released on Gametrailers December of 2011. I think it's two factors.

AVGN: The Movie began filming in April of 2012, and fundraising had begun well before that point. He already had his eyes and attention firmly set on making the film when Bible Games III came out.

Interestingly, his first daughter was born April of 2013, meaning that she was conceived in mid-2012, not long after the movie completed filming. They probably had reached an agreement that they would start their family after James made his 'masterpiece'.

I think he believed his movie was going to be received a lot better and launch him into legitimacy as the director of a cult classic film. It would have been the perfect stopping point and sendoff for the character. When it flopped amongst general audiences and fans, he was very much pigeonholed making internet videos the Nerd, and provided him a staunch reality check. Deep down, he knows it wasn't what he wanted it to be. Not to mention, the health complications with regard to the birth of his daughter.

Now stuck with the pressures of providing for a growing family with a dead end career making poop jokes as the character he lost all passion for, and a constant reminder of his dreams being crushed. It lines up perfectly, and very much explains bringing onboard those fucking untalented losers to run things. He doesn't need quality, he just needs Nerd videos so he can draw a paycheck and make a living.

He's a man who's had his dreams crushed and lives with a massively-changed, nearly unrecognizable woman who runs him ragged since the birth of their daughter.
 
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Brown People are Gross said:
Cow crossover!

Lord Genesis reviews the new Christmas special. If you've never heard of Lord Genesis, here is a video about him from years ago:
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The likeness is uncanny
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