Jim Sterling / James "Stephanie" Sterling / James Stanton/Sexton & in memoriam TotalBiscuit (John Bain) - One Gaming Lolcow Thread

[SunburnNation]

I was watching a Scott the Woz video that got into live services, and in the midst of actually competent analysis that Jim wouldn't know if it bit him in the ass I realized something-the horde of breadtubers denouncing the microtransactions of live services and mobile games don't care that it's predatory, they care that it's predatory in a way that benefits 'teh capitalizts". These are the same people who want decriminalized drug use and safe spaces for junkies to shoot up, and gambling addictions ain't shit compared to how getting hooked on something like heroin can destroy a man. But since drugs come from groups run by Mexican gangsters instead of white men in suits who say mean words, they're a-ok to be a part of society. But loot boxes are literally creating gambling addicts u guise!!!

 

[Eggplant2]

I’ve genuinely seen better Christmas dinners from students — this was on a society’s annual Christmas trip. Half a dozen people cooking for 30, el cheapo ingredients from Aldi, plus a load of dietary requirements and it still turned out better than Jim’s dinner.
View attachment 4169524

Jesus tap-dancing Christ that's horrible. That looks like what you think of when someone says the phrase "prison food".

You know, thinking about it now, Jack Scalfani was like 17 when Jim was born. Could it be...?

 

[Prince Vegeta]

It does raise the question, though, of did he have this tablecloth to begin with? Because if he went out to buy one specifically why in the fuck did he choose this? Maybe he thought it was ironic and kitsch, like all his other 'I did a shit job on purpose' schtick.

This was 99p at Poundland, I guarantee it.

The whole Mortgage situation in the UK is kind of fucked right now. Combine that with the fact he is self employed and only recently returned to the UK his credit score may be none existent.

Yes and no. UK Banks really like getting you in debt and will try any trick in the book, from constantly upping your credit limit without notifying you (so you think you're on your limit of £250 but you've got £1000) to offering mortgages to people who should clearly not get one.

Think if some mediocre grandma's ketchup meatloaf became a tradition after a generation of familial poverty, and it will persist into a period of familial wealth.

This is why my family still eat ship biscuits once a year. Inedible. But nostalgic for every generation and made with love by nan just like her mum used to make it etc. What Jim has on his table looks pre-bought and cooked on the wrong temperature, or in a bad oven or (This has my vote) all together. You can tell by the way most of the food is slightly burned but also still underdone in places that it was not given the time to roast.

I think you guys are right. Jim can't handle money and is addicted to coom spending. I also think he has no intention of settling and thus is not investing in crockery and the like.

 

[Oliver Onions]

This was 99p at Poundland, I guarantee it.

My brother in Christ, even Poundland have nicer stuff now than Jim's piss poor efforts.

I'm locking in my final verdict: Jim did a one-stop-shop at his local Tescos and bought absolutely everything except the furniture in that photo there. Maybe the plates that aren't plastic shit also came with the house, but the rest looks exactly like what you'd get if you sent a 40yo manchild with no idea how to look after himself out with £50 to 'get sorted for Christmas dinner'.

 

[Lightly Buttered Crumpet]

You can also get incredibly cheap, shitty crackers for like 5 pounds for a full set. Yeah the only thing you'll get from them are a paper hat and a bad joke but its part of the fun.

I'm actually sort of worried for Jim now, if he can't even afford to get some crackers on the table he probably won't be able to pay for his estrogen this time next year considering his contracting viewers.

This fucking table picture has so many layers that reveal more and more about Jim's sad state of affairs the more you look at it, its like Groverhaus from Somethingawful.

£5?
I am pretty sure you can pick up crackers at Poundland or Poundworld!

ETA: FFS, I should read comments before posting - everyone's mentioned Poundland before me

 

[Oliver Onions]

Ladyboys and guntlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for...

Jim Sterling Annual Audit 2022

YouTube Stats
Videos Uploaded: 62 (-17 on prev year)
Total Views: 15,247,816 (-9M on prev year)
Avg Views Per Video: 245k*
Total Subscribers: 809k (-43k on prev year)

Patreon Stats
Patrons: 5,878 (-1,164 on prev year)
Monthly Income: $11,048 (-$2,606 on prev year)
Annual Loss: -$31,272**

Spoiler: Notes and 2023 Predictions

Notes
* This figure will be slightly skewed due to views on older videos being included; the reality is Jim struggles to break 200k on most new uploads.
** This figure is more of a projection, given it declined gradually throughout the year, but I think it's still valid to point out because Jim could have probably maintained that original amount had he not been a stubborn, bitter idiot.

Predictions for 2023
The one thing that has been absolutely consistent is Jim's Patreon decline, so I estimate he will be down a further $2.5k/month by the end of 2023; at the very least his Patreon is all but guaranteed to drop under $10k/month at some point.

Subscriber losses have been less consistent, and we saw several lengthy periods of no change at all this year, compared to 2021's freefall. Despite that, there's been a current uptick in losses, so I'm confident in placing the sub-800k chimpout in the region of April/May. I also predict 2023 will be the first year we see a Jimquisition video fail to break 100k views.

As for Jim, personally, I have no idea. I don't think he has the balls to get SRS, and I don't think he's a serious enough wrestler to predict a horrific injury when the fat idiot screws up, so my 2023 prediction is he continues to be an utterly boring degenerate in his personal life. Maybe he marries one of the polycule.

Happy new year, frens. If I missed anything out of the review you'd like included let me know.

 

[ThisHill2DieOn]

The “broccoli” looks like it’s actually broccolini. Broccolini is fairly similar, but has longer and thinner stalks, kind of like broccoli rabe. Broccolini is a hybrid of normal broccoli and Chinese broccoli. It became really hip in the culinary scene around the early 2000’s and was nearly everywhere. Back then, broccolini and broccoli rabe were sides on almost every special in every restaurant.

 

[Lightly Buttered Crumpet]

I’ve genuinely seen better Christmas dinners from students — this was on a society’s annual Christmas trip. Half a dozen people cooking for 30, el cheapo ingredients from Aldi, plus a load of dietary requirements and it still turned out better than Jim’s dinner.
View attachment 4169524

And there's the obligatory cracker on the table

Ladyboys and guntlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for...

Jim Sterling Annual Audit 2022

YouTube Stats
Videos Uploaded: 62 (-17 on prev year)
Total Views: 15,247,816 (-9M on prev year)
Avg Views Per Video: 245k*
Total Subscribers: 809k (-43k on prev year)

Patreon Stats
Patrons: 5,878 (-1,164 on prev year)
Monthly Income: $11,048 (-$2,606 on prev year)
Annual Loss: -$31,272**

Spoiler: Notes and 2023 Predictions

Notes
* This figure will be slightly skewed due to views on older videos being included; the reality is Jim struggles to break 200k on most new uploads.
** This figure is more of a projection, given it declined gradually throughout the year, but I think it's still valid to point out because Jim could have probably maintained that original amount had he not been a stubborn, bitter idiot.

Predictions for 2023
The one thing that has been absolutely consistent is Jim's Patreon decline, so I estimate he will be down a further $2.5k/month by the end of 2023; at the very least his Patreon is all but guaranteed to drop under $10k/month at some point.

Subscriber losses have been less consistent, and we saw several lengthy periods of no change at all this year, compared to 2021's freefall. Despite that, there's been a current uptick in losses, so I'm confident in placing the sub-800k chimpout in the region of April/May. I also predict 2023 will be the first year we see a Jimquisition video fail to break 100k views.

As for Jim, personally, I have no idea. I don't think he has the balls to get SRS, and I don't think he's a serious enough wrestler to predict a horrific injury when the fat idiot screws up, so my 2023 prediction is he continues to be an utterly boring degenerate in his personal life. Maybe he marries one of the polycule.

Happy new year, frens. If I missed anything out of the review you'd like included let me know.

His views have dropped by almost 40% - going from 24M views to 15M views shows how much people are losing interest in him, more than the subscriber bleed. People stay subscribed out of laziness or just in case he releases a video with an interesting title/thumbnail, rather than a photo of him miming swallowing a dick but far fewer people are actually watching them.

 

[Oliver Onions]

His views have dropped by almost 40% - going from 24M views to 15M views shows how much people are losing interest in him, more than the subscriber bleed. People stay subscribed out of laziness or just in case he releases a video with an interesting title/thumbnail, rather than a photo of him miming swallowing a dick but far fewer people are actually watching them.

I'd guess diminishing viewcount also fucks your discoverability much harder than subscriber count too. The less views you're getting on each new video you upload, the less chances for interaction with the video, the less future videos are likely to be recommended to new viewers, the less views you're getting on each new video...etc.

 

[Aaron Costello]

I find it funny that he is soooooo against gambling and lootboxes and whatever, and yet he worked on (well, wrote a sentence for) Vampire Survivors, a game which is made by someone who worked for a gambling company and has elements from slot machines

 

[Programmer Socks]

Jim's attempt at setting a Christmas table exactly mirrors his failure at looking like a woman. A cheap, low-effort facsimile of the real thing, plastic, soulless and artlessly thrown together with no appreciation or understanding for what he's trying to emulate. The whole "I made it look rubbish on purpose" snark doesn't work if everything you do looks like a cheap aesthetic catastrophe. And this is common to troons in general - they have no flair, style or panache.

The thought of Jim and a group of other cross dressing middle-aged men sitting around that depressing table, all in uwu dresses and dog collars and anime wigs, calling each-other by their pet girl names and pretending to be wives/girlfriends is both hilarious and profoundly disturbing. I can't even think of any books or movies with scenes as demented as that. I can smell it just thinking about it.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

I find it funny that he is soooooo against gambling and lootboxes and whatever, and yet he worked on (well, wrote a sentence for) Vampire Survivors, a game which is made by someone who worked for a gambling company and has elements from slot machines

Because Jim's issue isn't the gambling itself, it's the paying money to gamble part. If this fat fuck had a press account for a game with lootboxes, he'd absolutely spend all day opening them.

 

[Moja Zemlja]

Jim was kind enough to make a compliation of his wrestling, none of its particularly impressive to look at but I think its a good way to show people here the quality of his 'professional' wrestling.

Original Tweet

 

[Prince Vegeta]

Jim was kind enough to make a compliation of his wrestling, none of its particularly impressive to look at but I think its a good way to show people here the quality of his 'professional' wrestling.

Original Tweet
View attachment 4177099

Can some kind kiwi tell me what I'm looking at?

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

Jim was kind enough to make a compliation of his wrestling, none of its particularly impressive to look at but I think its a good way to show people here the quality of his 'professional' wrestling.

Original Tweet
View attachment 4177099

That guy he was wrestling with the green hair and the My Hero Academia costume is also a lolcow on his own, Kidd Bandit is his name, but that’s probably a thread for another time.

 

[Cap-tan]

Jim's attempt at setting a Christmas table exactly mirrors his failure at looking like a woman. A cheap, low-effort facsimile of the real thing, plastic, soulless and artlessly thrown together with no appreciation or understanding for what he's trying to emulate. The whole "I made it look rubbish on purpose" snark doesn't work if everything you do looks like a cheap aesthetic catastrophe. And this is common to troons in general - they have no flair, style or panache.

The thought of Jim and a group of other cross dressing middle-aged men sitting around that depressing table, all in uwu dresses and dog collars and anime wigs, calling each-other by their pet girl names and pretending to be wives/girlfriends is both hilarious and profoundly disturbing. I can't even think of any books or movies with scenes as demented as that. I can smell it just thinking about it.

Exactly! Rubbish-on-purpose-look is an art in itself and is quite easy to clock. It needs to be easily recognized to be actually funny and not drift into pathos.

HIGNFY does the shite esthetic well. We know the games and illustrations are made by professionals who do this for a living on other panelshows, because nothing breaks or goes wrong, it's just rubbish quality. This is their own satire of their own work.

Jim is just inept at everything he tries. There's no contrast in his work. Not once does he show the audience that he's good at something. He just tells us that he's a totally rad dude, like a child does. He couldn't write a good script, make a nice banquet or chokeslam someone even if he tried his damndest and had a budget. Nothing is "on purpose."

 

[Just_a_Bored_Guy]

I'm going to be upfront, I really couldn't care less about what Square produces beyond Kingdom Hearts and the occasional FF spinoff. And repetitive videos like this aren't helping.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

As for Jim, personally, I have no idea. I don't think he has the balls to get SRS, and I don't think he's a serious enough wrestler to predict a horrific injury when the fat idiot screws up, so my 2023 prediction is he continues to be an utterly boring degenerate in his personal life. Maybe he marries one of the polycule.

Not gonna lie. I wouldn't be surprised if he fucks up, and gets the ire of guys like Cornette, or Konnan. Then pulls the "muh gender" card. Because if he truly wants to tip his toes into the world of wrestling then he should be prepared to face the fire that comes with it as this one cannot be hidden away behind a block button. He is not charismatic enough to turn his biggest flaw into a gimmick, nor does he have the acting chops to pull what Keith Lee, Eddie Kingston, or even Matt Cardona do.

I predict if that day ever comes. He'll be sharing a seat with Ryback in the blacklisted bench.

Jim was kind enough to make a compliation of his wrestling, none of its particularly impressive to look at but I think its a good way to show people here the quality of his 'professional' wrestling.

Original Tweet
View attachment 4177099

Holy fuck. His promo skills are atrocious. His movement sloppy, and there is absolutely nothing impressive about his gimmick. He makes Tyrus look like Andre the giant.

 

[Dollar Store Sentai]

He's said a few times he likes his penis and isn't getting rid of it. Think his fetish is more dressing as a "pretty girl" and getting railed by anyone drunk enough to not notice or care.

 

[Programmer Socks]

Maybe he marries one of the polycule.

Alas, the fair maiden is already spoken for!

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