The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Temperance]

Cliff notes from this video:

Inexperienced ranchers should not be rescuing alpacas, they should have gotten a small herd of 3 or 6 from a reputable breeder

NEVER EVER mix male or female. They don't breed on a heat cycle, the males will just breed them whenever which can cause UTIs. A male breeding a pregnant female may cause an abortion. The male can actually end up killing the baby trying to breed the female during delivery because of a hormone spike.

Don't keep them with sheep, horse, chickens, etc. Not companions for alpaca.

Alpacas need copper in their diet, copper will kill sheep. Disease tolerance is higher in sheep and goats which then parasites can spread to alpaca and kill them. However they might be being saved a bit by the dry climate. Goats can be bullies and injure alpaca.

"some people just won't learn until the animals are dead"

Alpacas must be sheared once a year in the spring, this is vital to their health. They will suffer from heat and the weight of the blanket, can have a heat stroke in the summer and die. Heat stress is very serious.

So they pretty much fucked up everything, the video didn't even mention anything about getting way too big a herd to start with because I guess that would be such an obvious 'do not do this'. It's a cute video though and not very long so you should still watch it!

Thanks for the summary! It's uncanny how the Tranchers have managed to do everything wrong.
The lady in the video really emphasized the seriousness of heat stress (which is why shearing is so important). She said if you see your alpacas standing in their drinking water, that's a bad sign; they're too hot! See 12:47 to 13:43 in the video. You generally shouldn't spray water on your alpacas either, although it's probably okay IF they've recently been shorn and IF you only spray their legs & chest. Spraying water on their backs or letting the alpacas immerse themselves in water is bad since it causes matting of the fur, making it so heat gets trapped more easily. It can also lead to rotting of the fur & skin!

I mention this because the Tranchers spray their alpacas all the time! I didn't know this was actually bad for them...

Spoiler: Videos

Pepe, one of their most-photographed animals, is a Vicuña I believe.
View attachment 4178024

Yep, Pepe is a vicuna and is beloved by Penny. Penny sees him as a "lovable scamp" and laughs about how often Pepe manages to break into the female alpaca enclosures. It's a serious problem and undoubtedly the source of many of their "unexpected pregnancies", but Penny just thinks it's funny.
I'm having trouble finding the tweets, but I swear I remember Penny calling Pepe a "scamp" and an "escape artist". I also remember him commenting on how Pepe always manages to break through or jump over their fences/barriers. Here are a few related tweets, although they aren't the ones I'm thinking of:

This one is close to what I was thinking of, but it's not Pepe:

I seriously think Penny went back and deleted tweets at some point after getting criticism for the totally mysterious, unexpected pregnancies ( ), because when I try searching for "pregnant/pregnancy/pregnancies" on both Penny's personal twitter and the Tranch's twitter, there are only two results total. No relevant results for "unexpected" either.

 

[stupid frog]

I am glad I'm not the only one who thinks Alyssa is an absolute baller. Yes, she is a lying BPD loon. But she also waltzed into the alpaca ranch, started everyone fighting amongst each other, absconded with the mortgage holder, and has now gained herself a full-time carer and Twitter simp while the ranch crumbles to dust in her wake.

View attachment 4180061
Pictured: Alyssa holding the Golden Apple of Troon Discord​

we stan a bpd queen

 

[Bob_]

we stan a bpd queen

Bpd give the best drama, just don't stand too close lest you be burnt by the fires of crazy.

 

[stupid frog]

Bpd give the best drama, just don't stand too close lest you be burnt by the fires of crazy.

The enemy of my enemy is also my entertainment

 

[McSneaks]

I mention this because the Tranchers spray their alpacas all the time! I didn't know this was actually bad for them...

For future reference if they're doing something, it's wrong and bad for them. Even on the very off chance it's not blatantly wrong, the way they're doing it is guaranteed bad for them because it's done incorrectly, too little (or much), not with the proper tools, wrong material, etc.

They have literally 0 experience collective, 0 willingness to learn, 0 ability to apply anything even if they did learn something which leads to, 0 mental (and physical) fortitude to actually follow through with something called "work", and 100% ego that will prevent them from even accepting they've done something wrong (or that it's possible). It's literally harder than teaching a foreign child brand new to your country and language to navigate through the day. Also 0 consequence, because Tranny, so while the normal bumbling retard may at the very least be afraid of getting in trouble if they blatantly torture and mutilate dozens of animals, trannies know this isn't possible (plus the law is only there to literally murder them)

Everything they do they either made up or saw it *somewhere* (eg. they saw a horse fed a carrot in a movie, therefore alpaca's should be fed carrots, because animals and farm).

 

[A Grey Cat]

They claim the property was like that when they got it, and that they planned to restore it through some sort of mystical crop rotation

The tranch plan to revive the land.

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

@Temperance XIV​

Doesn't surprise me that a sex-pest thinks Pepe, the raping vicuna is funny...

(I know Pepe's just doing what his instincts tell him to, but for the purposes of this joke he's a rapist)

 

[Lurk Jurk]

They’re “pre owned” alpaca. From people who previously collected or bred too many and the work got to be too much.

If I had to guess I would say they have an income related to that, to sweeten the deal: “you take all of the animals and we’ll keep paying you what we would have spent on hay”.

That's so fucking depressing. The poor animals would probably have a better chance set loose in the wild.

 

[The Dude]

Who could have EVER guessed that a group of dysfunctional, mentally unstable, delusional, lazy, antisocial, greedy, unintelligent, immature, irresponsible, terminally online, self-centered, adult-aged children (trannies in general) would be totally unprepared and unsuccessful at running a ranch, being financially sound, or taking care of themselves? I'm absolutely SHOCKED that they weren't able to pull it off!

 

[Path Wanderer]

No farming skills between them, correct? I assume army bro sis Penny is the only piece of logistical competence there distributing kool aid to themselves

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

I didn't know vicuna and alpaca could interbreed. See, I'm allowed to not know basic facts about alpaca because I'm not farming them.

 

[Meiwaku]

No farming skills between them, correct? I assume army bro sis Penny is the only piece of logistical competence there distributing kool aid

We as farmers of lolcows are a lot more qualified than they are for this

 

[TEA 3HF]

No farming skills between them, correct? I assume army bro sis Penny is the only piece of logistical competence there distributing kool aid

Hey now, Earl has distributed plenty of laughs.

 

[FinnSven]

We as farmers of lolcows are a lot more qualified than they are for this

Maybe Null should annex the tranch and we all show up to put the lolcows out to pasture?

Ethan Ralph and Fatrick Tomlinson would both need to be castrated for their own safety.

 

[Souji Tendou]

I seriously think Penny went back and deleted tweets at some point after getting criticism for the totally mysterious, unexpected pregnancies ( ), because when I try searching for "pregnant/pregnancy/pregnancies" on both Penny's personal twitter and the Tranch's twitter, there are only two results total. No relevant results for "unexpected" either.

This is why we archive everything. No excuses.

 

[AnOminous]

I mention this because the Tranchers spray their alpacas all the time! I didn't know this was actually bad for them...

Spraying them with male sperm doesn't actually help them.

 

[AfghanBlue]

This is the biggest subline to the thread I could think of. Except maybe change it to "Some people just won't learn even when all the animals are dead."


I have a feeling we will lose a few more pacas this summer if not relocated. Likely some tard will forget to sheer them or there will be wild loose alpacas just fucking gone.


This implies they aren't lazy enough to keep the same exact feeding amount every time. They can't even be assed to make a feeder. They don't give a shit, they just approximate it and say "eh probably the same".

You're thinking too smartly, which is great because it means you aren't a trancher. When you think tranch, you have to think like you're high as fuck, severely lazy, and have brain rot from shit diet and lack of critical thinking skills. I keep emphasizing this because I too thought they couldn't be that WILLFULLY stupid early in the Kevin thread, but the answer was always "yes, yes they were." It's both painful and one of the funniest things about the tranch.


I've heard of trans people who actually do farm and can at least feed themselves partially or have a nice crop to sell every season or so but not these dipshits. They were putting potter's soil on the ground earlier this year because they fucked up the top soil. You could ask them and they'd say they could, but they're like North Korea where they scream about Juche and then beg papa China and buy things elsewhere anyway. They have self reflection, but they choose to ignore it.


Thanks to you and the Cryptid again. I'm genuinely unsurprised that they spent that much on weed: I remember their furry weed dealer with the elaborately decked out car (nice colors, too showy for me but still enjoy seeing it) delivering it to them. I remember Kevin talking about how he needs a fuckton of weed to keep his anxiety under control, so we forget that he's constantly high and probably has taken a great hit to his few braincells he had from the excess of pot he does. The same for the rest of the tranchers. We need to constantly remember they're baked as fuck which is easy to forget since they're as retarded without being high.


Jen might have nightmares from childhood and certain medications for depression can intensify dreams. It could be the dreams alone from a shit childhood or the alpacas' ghost haunting him too though.

the alpacas unironically would be better off if they just escaped- at least they could find GRASS AND SPACE TO MOVE WHICH IS LITERALLY ALL THEY REQUIRE

my moment of absolute death for the benefit of the doubt to the tranchers, was when they kept removing newborn cria from their mothers Birthing Pacas (for no discernible reason other than 'cute' bottle-nursing selfies) who then died. again, and again.

I thought there must be some kind of reason for it that wouldn't make sense to me as a non farmer, but surely people farming alpacas would have some rhyme to thier risks?
hah.

I have a grim feeling that the reason the death-toll numbers are foggy, is because a lot of the dying and buried alpacas would be either heavily pregnant or very new born "what do we ring that up as, uhhh a half an alpaca?"

 

[KiwiFuzz]

There's turning out the livestock and then there's turning out the livestock.

 

[FinnSven]

Is this the single largest lolcow induced tragedy?

At least in cow history as documented by Kiwifarms?

Chris and other cows who have harmed other people at least seem to have been stopped by the law before things got really insane.

Whoever is specifically at fault here is partly debatable, Penny or Bonnie or a combination, but 100% all of the tranchers are complicit.

The field troon victims, of course they are also victims of the thoughtlessness of calling the place a trans safe haven and implying that people who feel in danger could find refuge there.
I mean, give that idea to the most notoriously persecution complex carrying people and what do you expect?
They did have a duty however to be more vocal about the animal neglect and clear declining mental state of the house Troons.
Unless, I suppose, if they really had never seen the full extent of the interior of the house.

In any case however, I hope that there is more of a backlash if any more loony-Troons come up with an idea like this.

 

[Particle Bored]

This is why we archive everything. No excuses.

Because @Null doesnt have enough on his plate, some type of OCR implementation for searching screenshots in Sneedforo would be neat.