What was your worst hotel experience?

[TiggerNits]

In the US: bad in room internet, phone didn't work. Room smelled like mothballs and discount pine-sol. The TV only got PBS and a CBS affiliate that had no sound. Bed was lumpy yet hard as fuck. large stains on the carpet, AC unit sounded like a braking semi truck but was 100% needed as it was summer in East Texas. I drank myself asleep and made my assistant drive that morning after I barfed in the tub, as the toilet looked too well versed.

In Europe: extremely small room, floor was exposed but painted concrete. Bed was smaller than a twin and very thing and on a cot frame. The only light in the room flickered and hissed. Bathroom was a hole in the floor with a shower head over it. I was woken up 4 times that night by prostitutes knocking on the door to see if I wanted "fun American party times". Pretty sure the guy in the room next to mine took all 4 up on their offers and would kick one out as the other showed up.

In Africa: It was in Africa, there was a mosquito net over the shitter

 

[Sure Thing Idiot]

We stayed at a place that was supposed to be pretty nice. Kinda fancy. Room was great but the second night the light in the bathroom exploded its one of those old lights that were in the side of the wall, and the sink backed up. Whatever. Were only here for 5 days and spend hardly any time in the hotel. Front desk kept passing along our requests to fix the sink and bulb until it just never happened. Wed tell them every day at 9 when we left theres no light in the bathroom and we cant use the sink were washing out hands in the fucking tub faucet. Come back and its still the same. Last day i spilled coffee on the bed accidentally and ripped the bedding off so i not be charged a million dollars and try to spot clean it to find a giant yellow orange stain on the matress. Before we checked out we check every room to make sure were not leaving anything i open the door and in the iron/safe closet the inside door has hand blood streaks on it. We stole a bunch of nice fluffy pool towes and considered it even.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

Bathroom was a hole in the floor with a shower head over it.

For the benefit of anyone unaware, this is somewhat par for the course in Europe. When I visited a European friend, the bathrooms were "water closets" in that they were small, narrow rooms with a flush toilet and nothing else except for a drain grate sloped down in the middle of floor with a shower head as @TiggerNits mentioned. It's an adjustment for those unfamiliar with the setup, but natives see them as no big deal, especially in apartments where space is at a premium.

Although not bad enough to be one of the top two I mentioned previously, a runner up bad experience was at a hotel where my group stayed overnight as a halfway point in our road trip. From what I still remember, our late-night check-in was delayed by the police checking the grounds and hotel with their flashlights for someone or something they didn't want to disclose to our group. For good measure, I seem to recall the heater in my room didn't work - a big deal in the middle of winter. Thankfully, it was a minor issue since we were only there for an overnight and we left as soon as we woke up, got dressed, and grabbed a very quick breakfast.

 

[rdrr]

Not, "Worst", but very different for me. times in Europe I have had to deal with squat-style showers. Where I am in a tub, and have to use the damn showerhead on a hose to hose myself down. It gives no chance for relaxing as a stand-up shower does. No idea how some people deal with that shit.

*Edit

I will add, I did create a memorable experience for many people at a shore-side hotel in Virginia Beach due to eating muesli. Long, Long, ago.... Parents had bought some mini boxes of cereal, since there was a multipack. I ate some of some type of muesli. Parents did not see where I went, but it tasted gross, so I went to the balcony overlooking the cars, and spit it all out. Later on, memory fuzzy, that afternoon, next day, I recall a parent of mine asking some fellas in the elevator with us what was so funny, that they were uncontrollably chuckling about. "Someone puked on that car's windshield down there". I kept my mouth shut about that for many years. I did not puke, I just spit out chewed up food.

 

[Goyslop Muncher]

I've stayed in many hotels from business traveling. I've always had fine rooms, but one time i ordered room service, nothing special an ordered of grilled chicken breast with rice and vegetables. The most disgusting pathetic meal I've ever seen. chicken was charcoal and vegetables complete mush. The rice was okay iirc.
Another time for breakfast the big tin of scrambled eggs was rotting, was probably cooked days ago.
I've learned to stop by local grocery stores and buy some ready to eat food from the deli. Most hotels have at least a mini fridge and sometimes a microwave.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I knew a guy who ran one of these awful motels. He was a "troubled genius" to coin a cliche and figured a dive motel would be easy passive income while he wrote these epic tomes no one wanted to read, historical mysteries set in Brazil.

Because it was supposed to generate cash with minimal effort, nothing was very well-maintained. No screens in the windows, flimsy locks on the doors, ratty old towels and sheets that sorta got washed by the cut rate laundry service. He had this mini pinscher who he would take to the rooms when someone checked out, the dog would run in and sniff for...biohazards I guess and then his girlfriend would go in and clean the room.

Also: OP you need to watch Dan Bell's Another Dirty Room.

 

[rdrr]

I knew a guy who ran one of these awful motels. He was a "troubled genius" to coin a cliche and figured a dive motel would be easy passive income while he wrote these epic tomes no one wanted to read, historical mysteries set in Brazil.

Because it was supposed to generate cash with minimal effort, nothing was very well-maintained. No screens in the windows, flimsy locks on the doors, ratty old towels and sheets that sorta got washed by the cut rate laundry service. He had this mini pinscher who he would take to the rooms when someone checked out, the dog would run in and sniff for...biohazards I guess and then his girlfriend would go in and clean the room.

Also: OP you need to watch Dan Bell's Another Dirty Room.

Yes, "Another Dirty Room" has not had many updates in a while, but he has done a damn fine job covering what motels and hotels to avoid in especially the DC area. I recall this one, as the mattress was blood splattered, room was smoking-allowed, roaches crawling out of the radiator/Air-conditioning....

*edited to add:

Not just roaches, the A/C/Radiators were caked with bird shit. Inside the place.

 

[Meat Target]

When we missed our connecting flight home due to a delay, and there weren't any flights to our city till morning, the airline put us up overnight in a nasty roach motel in the 'hood.

There were furries in the lobby.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Dad got some unexpected time off when I was 8 or so and we went fishing about 100 miles from home and the car broke down, not in a way that could be easily fixed so we had to leave the Car in over night so me and my Dad got a hotel room and went out for dinner, turns out there was some kind of big event in town where the hotels where booked (we got lucky) and there was drunken idiots all over the place so we had dinner and headed back to the hotel room -

10pm First idiot tries to open our Rooms door, get's pissed off his key wont work, tried to smash the door in, my dad opened the Door and told him to fuck off.
10:30 Same idiot comes back with his Girlfriend and tried again, my dad really told him to fuck off this time.

11pm I needed the toilet, my dad walks me down the corridor to the shared bathroom, the wall was coverd with shit behind the toilet and the area around the toilet was coverd with piss, decided to not go the toilet unless we really had to.

Midnight - Drunken idiot and his Girlfriend get into a slanging match over something.

01:30 Party in the room downstairs, sounds like there is a Riot going on at the same time.

02:00 I'm not sleeping my dad's not sleeping, he was considering calling a Taxi and paying the £200+ pounds just to go home because of everything going on in the hotel.

03:00 Police are called by the hotel owner who's been trying to keep everything under control. The party downstairs is broken up by people jumping out the windows etc.

Neither of us can sleep and the police where there for 3 hours.

07:00 Breckfast time in the BnB, the owner looked like a mess black eye turns out when he tried to break up the party at 2am he got punched in the face and the police tool a hour to arrive, because this situation had been happening all over town. He apologises to my dad and me, gives my dad a refund and says he can't give us breakfast as one of the idiots who tried going out the bathroom window dropped through a skylight in the dark and there was blood all over the kitchen.

So me and my dad found a caffee, had breckfast and walked around the town for a little bit till the car was fixed. TLR fishing trip with my dad, nice day's fishing horrible night after a car breakdown and I got to miss a day's school.

 

[Sewerbrake3]

I have misophnia and i had to sleep in the same room as my snoring dad

 

[ForgedBlades]

Is this shit or blood? Trying to decide which route I should go.

 

[Manat]

I booked a room in a 4 star hotel in Malaysia, and I slept that nigh wearing a tank top, fast forward to mid day, my back and shoulders are covered with angry red pimples and hurt like hell, I was disgusted with everything in that place after that and left shortly after. I now keep space in my bag for some clean bed sheets and billow and blanket covers with zippers, and I wear full length pajamas, god knows what was in that bed

 

[Not a bee]

Old bloodstain, half of the lights didn't work, hole the wall, water wasn't running properly.
... Needless to say we left immediately. Place gave bad vibes regardless of how damaged it was. Never go for cheap!

 

[TrulyMan]

It was a drive through DAS DEUTSCHSHELND and ZE GERMANS had on offer a two star and a three star motel at their gas station. Since we needed only a nights stay and would be off in the morning we picked the two star one.
Apparently NO ONE EVER PICKS that one (since its a few hundred meters down the road or something?) Because when we entered our room, it was literally infested with insects.


Like my dudes, Im not talking about a few cockroaches.
It seems the windows had been open and the lights on or something.
It was TENS OF THOUSANDS of insects in the room. I wish I had taken a picture. Stuff of nightmares. Could have probably etorted the company so as to not push it to what ever Gov agency responsible.

And that´s what you get for being a cheapskate in the middle of nowhere on some less used autobahn at 2 am.
This is the worst one. And it will never be topped. I stress you could see more insects than wall in the room.
Other than broken Wifi, bad beds, noisy rooms....I might have had something stolen in a room once, but I wasn´t really keeping track of how much cash I had on me then so Im not sure.


There´s a funny story of this Taxi driving me to a hostel in tucked away inside of a busy market instead of a 4 star hotel on the plaza, due to it having a similar name. But I actually quite enjoyed the hostel. All sorts of crazy stuff happened on that trip. Dude dropped me off in the middle of the market, I had like 3 large trolley bags with me, some buss-boys come and want to take my bags... I figure I either go with them and maybe get robbed or I get robbed for sure. Arab country. They start putting all my bags into this big cart and start running away with them. Im chasing them down these narrow market streets, fucking going crazy. But the boys ended up going right where they should. Kudos to them.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

And that´s what you get for being a cheapskate in the middle of nowhere on some less used autobahn at 2 am.
This is the worst one. And it will never be topped. I stress you could see more insects than wall in the room.
Other than broken Wifi, bad beds, noisy rooms....I might have had something stolen in a room once, but I wasn´t really keeping track of how much cash I had on me then so Im not sure.

I have to work away from home a lot and I've got a rule - If it's just for a night I'll sleep in the back of my Van / Landy.

Normally I just be the last one to leave the site that day and roll out this ex-army Bed / Mattress thing I picked up new from a surplus auction (looks like it was designed for medical use as it can fit anywhere and is self levelling and has a inflator unit powerd by a battery built in) get my paper work done, finish or start anything I can, pop off for dinner or cook something on my Primus Stove and then fuck off in the early hours of the morning halfing my driving time and feeling better for it.

I know that's not always possible so that's where I default to rule 2 -

Find a place out of the way, If you drive along the back streets or the out of town areas look for small family / old people hotels and take a photo of the phone number as you pass you likely wont need it but if you do and you call them they will normally have a place available and for Cash are willing to accept "late" bookings, just be upfront with them and tell them it's for a night etc and you won't need / want breckfast and they will be more than happy to take you - But and this is the important thing look respectable when you show up, and don't have any special requirements.

 

[ForgedBlades]

Still the reigning, defending, undisputed GOAT.

 

[PC LOAD LETTER]

A room that quite literally had not been updated since the early 1980s. This might have been vaguely okay had the beds and bugs also not been from the 1980s.

 

[Demislob]

Not to power level but I've spent a ridiculous amount of time in hotels based off family life but the worst was the following.


I was in Texas, towards the border, and had to spend a week and a half in this absolute nightmare of a hotel. I'm serious when I say this place had roaches for its roaches. I would be laying down in bed and watch 5-7 roaches walk across my bed at night. I brought a loaf of bread and put it in the cupboard, and within a day, the bread was ruined with bugs inside the wrapper. Not to mention the bedbugs that forced me to liquidate every article of clothing I owned. I'm serious when I say this, and I'm sure anyone who has unfortunately had the displeasure of dealing with bed bugs can verify, that as soon as you get them, say goodbye to anything with cloth. If it's a bag, a shirt, a pair of pants, jackets, whatever, that shit better be gone or else you will have permanent issues. That was years ago and I still have nightmares about waking up with bugs running around in my bed.

Tldr: fuck southern Texas and it's hotels

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Not too bad unlike some of the responses here, but the worst that comes to kind was in Dublin City centre back in 2013 or so.



The decor was from the 1980s, and the interior was a kind of grey, drab, depressing horror show. It's the kind of place you'd go to die from a heroin overdose or cut your wrists in the bathtub.

Except it didn't have a bathtub. The fucking shower was quite literally installed opposite the bed, and had no external proofing aside from a plastic door in portico on the wall. You'd step 'out' of the shower onto carpet, and the moisture would fill the entire room.

Also the shittiest breakfast I've ever had. Then again, this may just be a Dublin thing. Every Irishman I've spoken to fucking HATES Dublin.

The hotel was called Avondale something or other, for anyone curious.

 

[Stoneheart]

Some cheap hotel in spain. it was decently clean, but the staff was ugly and they only sold spanish and english beer at their bar, it was disgusting.

Im glad that we changed from spain to bulgaria for our drinking holydays. bulgarians are much nicer than spanish, they understand that they are lessers who are there to serve, also even their bearded woman look better than spaniards. there are also no gypsis on the street and if you happen to find one you can just call the cops.
They also always have good beer, you can smoke in the rooms and they dont care how dressed you are on the beach/streets, Fuck spain and its lousy population of leeches.