This one starts as a fitness account. She’s documenting her bodybuilding journey and wants to be a bikini competitor. She has a personal account, littlemissdangerous43, but it’s private.
She’s a security guard at Sparrow Health Systems, a hospital system based in Lansing, Michigan. Her other true aspiration seems to be that she wants to become a full police officer instead of just security.
Only health posts relate to her lifting schedule and gym injuries.
She has a horse, an off-track thoroughbred. Here’s a slideshow someone on youtube made.
She also races cars, as per her original handle. Other than that, there's a whole lot of lifting progress posts and not much interesting.
She has a cute doggie who does footraces with her.
Normie illness.
A week later, she’s been in the hospital for a week.
A week after that, she has a feeding tube and she might have lead poisoning. This is going swimmingly.
She’s had a colonoscopy and it was fine. Now she’s having her gallbladder and appendix out.
She gets released and says it was appendicitis and gallbladder shit. She’s lost a ton of muscle over the almost month she was there.
She’s very thin now. Tempted to question the appendectomy story based on lack of scar but apparently they can do the whole thing through your bellybutton now. Science!
But she’s trying to get back what she lost. A lot more nothing while she posts about her lifting schedule and trying to get back on track for competition.
Migraine. Nothing special. around this point she stops mentioning her boyfriend who has been mentioned a lot up to now.
She’s happy to be back at work after eight months of medical leave. Eight months of leave sounds like an awfully long time to be off for an appendectomy
January 24, 2018 she goes to urgent care for an unspecified issue, is rushed from there in an ambu to the ER. She’s gotten very upsetting health news there and is now on total exercise restriction again. It’s something to do with her heart. Semicolon tattoo is new? I think? Her progress pics are usually taken from behind to show off her shoulders/back, so this part of her arm isn't visible in any of the photos she'd taken in the last several months.
A week later she’s released and back at work. #chronicillness. She’s mostly silent for months.
In April she’s back and she’s broken her tailbone.
A month later we’re back in the gym.
And then the hospital again. NPO and on zofran.
Discharged. Apparently the heart thing turned out to be nothing because we’re back to sucking down preworkout and lifting.
Dog at the gym tho. And we’re off
Injured knee and in case there was any doubt, yes she’s taking her husky mix who isn’t task trained to the gym with her with a vest on.
Seven knee surgeries, jesus
She decided to switch from straight bodybuilding to crossfit which, from what I understand, favors fast high intensity movement over proper form and thus is more likely to leave people with injuries.
March 2019 she announces she can’t keep any food or fluids down and is once again hospitalized.
She’s diagnosed with functional abdominal pain. Her body is constantly giving pain signals even though nothing is wrong. Often related to emotional triggers, treatment is managing stress, doing cognitive behavioral therapy, and possibly taking antidepressants. It’s not associated with decreased motility or anything else. And that’s if you believe her pain and don’t just think she’s making it up to get pain meds or a toob, of course.
Around this time her mom, a former nurse who now works in sales for a healthcare company, starts a Caringbridge site to update people on Abby’s health and it is a goldmine for the many times Abby herself decides to be a little cheap with the details on her public account. UNFORTUNATELY Abby never fucking mentioned it until 2021 because she’s selfish, meaning I had to rewrite half this fucking post with the new information. First post, Abby has MALS, not functional pain. MALS is median arcuate ligament syndrome, where the ligament compresses the celiac artery causing pain, particularly after eating, and often vomiting, nausea, and other GI symptoms. The actual problem (that the ligament is in the wrong place) happens in a huge number of people but is usually asymptomatic. From what I gather there’s no real understanding as to why some people experience pain from this and most people don’t and this doesn’t always coincide with the severity of the compression. My 10 minutes of low-effort googling suggest it’s more a problem that those people are more hypersensitized to pain in general. Abby’s mom says the doctor isn’t taking her seriously enough and they want an appointment with Mayo or Cleveland Clinic. She’s been getting TPN through a central line and they are trying to get her transferred to another hospital. This is unsuccessful and their plan is to keep bringing her to the ER hoping someone there will do something for her which is
not what emergency rooms are for.
A month and a half later Abby finally updates us that she has a PICC and is getting fluids and TPN. At some point her handle has changed to chronic_adventures_by_abs.
Mom is still updating us on the home health situation and how it’s BAD.
Abby is admitted at U of Michigan and gets an ultrasound. Going to meet a vascular surgeon to see if there’s something he can do.
Vascular surgery tells them the open abdo surgery she wants is risky, disfiguring, and only has a 50% success rate so they won’t do it. They tell her Chicago might do a laproscopic one. Discharged.
Chicago agrees to review her case and oh god, the guy’s name is Dr. Skelly and then I laugh. Christopher Skelly is apparently a well-respected vascular surgeon who does not specialize in MALS but in general vascular surgery. They also find a new doctor in Toledo who might see her faster, because they need this done NOW NOW NOW.
In June, Abby finally announces to instagram that it was MALS.
LMAO Thank you Brenda! Dr. Skelly disagrees on the MALS diagnosis and tells her to see a normie GI but mom protests that all the normie GIs have already blown her off. Meanwhile, Abby is back in the hospital with a fever and pneumonia.
She goes to see a MALS specialist in Ohio and she has 99% stenosis in her celiac artery which sounds like it would be extremely dangerous and likely to kill you through ischemia but yanno, not a doctor, willing to stand corrected. She goes to a second doctor who agrees to do open abdo surgery on it. She also diagnosed her with “disautonomia” in her eyes, hands, and feet. Ok.
Her mom also posts about this and that the doctor said her celiac artery was “chewed up.”
Surgery was a success and she is annoyed this person suggested she’ll be back to health soon. She’ll always have this illness, asshole!
August 15, she’s back in the ER with uncontrolled vomiting. They’ve started her on ketamine, benadryl, and reglan. They’re considering a feeding tube because "holy shit why is this girl on TPN lmao?"
She’s getting a GJ tube so she can feed through her jejunum and drain her stomach. Why? Who knows? She’s had the surgery and doesn’t have motility issues. She continues vomiting constantly despite the GJ tube and the doctors are stumped. Hmm functional problem or intentionally "hands-free" purging? you decide!
She’s sedated to stop the vomiting because she can’t sleep-purge and her feeding tube is already fucked and needs to be replaced, shocker. She’s having an endoscopy to see what the fuck is going on.
She actually had lapro, not open surgery per these scars. Showing off the toob.
GIB.
New tube saves the day and she’s discharged again. Mom announces they’re renting a hospital bed and moving her into their house.
She’s readmitted, this time to a different hospital (Blodgett).
Has a nerve block, looking for a permanent one that will kill the nerve. The open surgery she wants will completely excise the nerve ganglion.
Man I love old people on the internet, they have no concept of what they shouldn’t share. Here we learn the surgeon is Dr. Andrea Wolf, who says there’s no reason for the vomiting and she should be seeing a functional neurologist and if that doesn’t work out, then she should go to St. Mary’s because they have a better palliative care program than Spectrum. Mom doesn’t realize this is Dr. Wolf passing off her problem patient to someone else.
Abby sees this functional neurologist and is told to fuck off. She was sent to St. Mary’s ER and is told to fuck off there, too, after her brain scan is negative.
They start demanding to be seen at Mayo and the doctor says no. Abby is now “bedridden.”
LOL SHE GOT FIRED BY HER MALS DOCTOR AND ALL HER PAIN MEDS TAKEN AWAY. Some conjecture as to what
possibly happened here: the nerve block Abby got should have lasted a long time, like weeks to months for most people. When she claimed she got initial relief from it but then it wore off in a very short time and she started vomiting and asking for more drugs, the doctor realized it wasn't MALS and either the functional diagnosis was correct or she was malingering for drugs. I think the functional neurologist didn't just refuse to treat her but that she didn't
want the treatment they were offering because it's usually something like CBT (and often the goal is to wean you off pain meds/feeding tubes/whatever), and St. Mary's correctly pegged her as a drug seeker. Abby reported this back to Dr. Wolf, confirming her suspicions that the only thing she would comply with was more surgery or drugs. Of course this is just a guess based on her and her mother's posts.
Hi Valerie! PCP is giving her the pain meds back so she’s all smiles, even getting to try ketamine now! He’s also referring her to Mayo like she wanted.
Mom updates. She’s now having “episodes” where her muscles seize up and no one knows why. I mean, we know why.
Another crying selfie, this time complaining that people are accusing her of things she didn’t do. I wonder what this is in relation to.
Doctor shopping.
She’s seeing a different functional neurologist and psych now, perhaps as a stipulation for keeping her meds.
Starts posting about the “episodes”.
Mom posts about Abby getting an iron infusion in case the seizure-like episodes are caused by anemia. Records have been sent to Mayo to review and she’s not a candidate for the additional surgery she wants. She will be getting a port.
Gets a port and it’s put in an artery by accident, so she’s taken to a different hospital and loses a shitload of blood on the way. She wakes up in recovery with no port, a PICC, and an arterial catheter in her wrist. This appears to have actually happened although how the fuck??? Both mom and Abby told the same story and there was at least some proof.
Mom tells us she had a “stint” put in for the clot.
Hi Valerie! Hi! These dogs look thrilled. Needs to see an epilepsy clinic now.
Doctors don’t know the source of the infection but are concerned it’s septic emboli. Confirmed the next day
Abby goes silent but mom keeps us updated. She now has c. Diff and gets a blood transfusion because the infections are suppressing her bone marrow.
She’s getting a new port.
And she has atelectasis, collapse of some of the alveoli in her lungs, common finding in pneumonia, and she’s given breathing exercises and other physio to do. Will she? Probably not, it’s not pain meds or a new toy.
Christmas in the hospital!
She’s finally discharged on the 27th.
Here’s Abby’s version of the past month of medical drama.
HI VALERIE!!!! #pulmonaryembolism. The EDS hashtags are referring to Valerie from what I can tell. This is the last time she's with Valerie for a lonnnng time.
Pain all the time even after the surgery. Going to Tennessee to get an open surgery where the nerves will be removed. This doesn’t happen and she never mentions it again.
Using a walker now.
This dog is not happy.
CRPS. At least she’s smart enough to understand
regional and that this disease causes swelling unlike the girls who are like “it’s in my entire body and you can’t see it!” Except she has mentioned it now spread to her legs in the comment.
On January 27 mom announces Abby is back in the hospital with a high fever.
Sepsis’d again! This time it’s with an unusual bacteria and doctors are really stumped. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Everyone tells her this hand thing is just Reynauds and she’s fine.
She’s discharged in early February.
Sepsis’d again! She was home for four days before developing sepsis again, outstanding. Infectious disease thinks its the port harboring wee nasties. Develops septic emboli again.
Meanwhile Abby’s just posting fluff. She wants to open a gym for cops and cripples. The fact that this dog is standoffish as fuck towards her makes me laugh.
Ah yes, the obligatory “my service dog was an untrainable nightmare with an insane prey drive, killed everything that got too close to it, and didn’t listen but now he definitely provides me with life-saving tasks and isn’t a danger to other animals because I put a vest on him.”
She has septic emboli in her lungs after her infection breaks off of her port and enters her bloodstream. She’s devastated she might have to lose her toy.
She’s discharged on the 19th with antibiotics and her sepsis-noodle intact. Predictably, she gets worse, but mom stops updating on this bout so apparently she recovered without another hospitalization.
EEG although this might be an old pic since she was posting a bunch of throwbacks at the time. She was on a cocktail of reglan (motility med), benadryl, and decadon (steroid aka dexamethasone). Still wants surgery to remove her nerve ganglion.
She hasn’t seen her horse in forever and she can’t drive anymore since she started claiming seizures
“my fans” lol sit down. She’s surprisingly nonchalant about covid and not screeching about how she’s the sickest ever fragilebbygorl.
I used to have hobbies and now I have diagnoses
I want real friends! Why does everyone leave me? [sob sob]
Therrre it be. #bpd #bpdawareness. We all knew it. IV epi, narcan, and ativan.
Yanno she could just go with the “muh mentulz caused FND” line and I’d only laugh a little then find someone more entertaining to post but no, she’s going for it. She’s now posting a ton of body checky/thirstposty shit.
Might try a pain pump or a spine stim. Doctor wants her off the pain meds because she’s on a shitload of opioids and she’s had sepsis so many times.
On that note, Mom updates after several months of silence on that blog to let us know she has a big gross infection around her port and they think she has sepsis again. She’s brought to ICU.
Her port is removed and she might have a spinal abscess. And yes, it’s sepsis again. Mom never updates on the spinal abscess other than to say she got an MRI.
No one can visit her because of covid so she’s having a tantrum about her friends not caring about her.
They place a PICC and it’s knotted in her arm. Doctors haven’t seen anything like it. My first thought is this lunatic pulled it out a little, knotted it, and slid it back in but I have no idea if that’s even
possible. She needs a surgery to remove her PICC and the damaged vein it was in, which will cause a five inch incision.
Got an AFO for the foot drop, uses a wheelchair we’ve never seen, and now she has a new bestie. oh and at some point she's added ADHD to the hashtag parade.
Transferred to Sparrow Specialty, a long term acute unit.
Discharged in May and we get some nice, gnarly pics of what she’s done including the open wound they left behind when they scooped pus out of her port site.
Lol Valerie “went crazy on her.” Once again IRL munchie olympics ends terribly.
Goes to the ER for an ouchy toob, they tell her it’s not infected and go home. She’s afraid they’ll take her toy away.
Goes back to the ER, turns out her balloon from her feeding tube “somehow” slipped out of the stoma still inflated. Uhm. I don’t think that’s something that just happens. It is something she can cause by pulling it out of her stomach slightly with the balloon deflated then inflating it in the wrong spot. It would be insane and extremely painful but scroll up if you doubt it’s something she’d do. Shaved her head for pride month even though she has seemingly only dated men in the past, because like all borderlines and internet attention-seekers she has decided being straight is so boring or whatever.
Losing weight, can’t eat.
He’s not looking out for dangers, he’s highly distractible and reactive. Her handle has changed to banjo_theservicedog at some point.
She’s been diagnosed with fibro. Another one that means “pain, but nothing wrong” and is treated with CBT and exercise. Off leash no vest = please tell me my dog can’t come in so I can screech about the ADA. Most businesses have figured out that service dogs are a thing and must be allowed access, but most of them also assumes the dog has to be marked as a SD and on a leash. The ADA doesn’t
technically require either* and these girls LOVE to bait business owners with this. (*if the leash doesn't interfere with the dog's tasks then they must be leashed but
It’s so hard to starve myself so they won’t take my tube away.
Her dog lacks focus. No shit.
SD meetup and oh yeah the shelter warned her this dog was aggressive when she got him. They were totally wrong because she needs him for attention.
This post implies someone has been paying the rent/mortgage on a house she hasn’t been living in for a year. Wild.
Just more proof this dog should not be working.
GIB.
Suicide awareness post. Who would have guessed the BPD void who keeps giving herself sepsis tried to kill herself the old-fashioned way before this?
It’s Sepsis awareness day! PICC is back. Pretty sure she has MCAS.
And the day after that post, lmao sepsis #5! Mom reactivates her blog to keep us updated.
She has C. diff again too, and a blood clot, and also kidney disease. She’s been vomiting again and not tolerating her tube feeds.
She does not need dialysis though! Might need TPN again.
Abby updates finally and she thinks it’s an autoimmune disease causing this. The only one I can possibly think she’s gunning for is antiphospholipid syndrome which causes clotting but who knows. #rawfooddog. Handling raw meat with a central line but it’s totally not a hygiene issue.
Her dog doesn’t want to work. Tough shit, little fucker, you’re mammas accessory now. If you’ve been paying attention, she has now said that she got Banjo at five and has had him for five years and he’s been working for a year. Yep, she decided to make a nine year old dog with aggression issues and no prior training into a service dog for attention.
Anyway. Her kidneys are still failing! Valerie has this same shirt.
Another pic of the time her port got so infected they had to scoop the infection out of her chest and left her with a big gnarly hole.
Heavy mobility harness which she has no training in how to use at all REEEE. She wants a program dog because apparently she’s realized that her service dog larp is hard to keep up when her dog is acting like he doesn’t want to be here and being super reactive to anything that walks by him. She asks for advice on what programs to apply for. Someone tells her CCI is a good org but won’t do any weight bearing tasks and Abby says that’s no problem, she can train those on her own (NO SHE CANT AAAAHHH). This person says they will not let her use non-CCI gear on their dogs and will take it back if they think she’s doing weight bearing with it. She crosses them off her list.
And she has sepsis again. Go big or go home, huh? It's torcher!
Gib munny 4 magik dog.
Remember when this was a bodybuilding account? Good times.
Lolll her pain doctor “invalidated” everything going on with her and she needs a new one. GIVE ME MY GODDAMNED PAIN MEDS. Looks like she and Val are friends again now that they can commiserate on why no one is giving them all the pain meds they want whenever they want them.
Judgmental thoughts, you say?
Claims she has CVID and needs IVIG. 10-20k plasma donations are required per dose. She never updates about this and I pray it was just her lying for attention.
She’s mad that she’s getting fat and doesn’t want to run her feeds. Keep this in mind.
Now claiming Alpha Thalassemia and gastroparesis. Alpha thalassemia is an inherited blood disorder and the symptoms/severity depend on how many mutant alpha-globin alleles you inherit. There’s four total. One mutant is asymptomatic, two is anemic with nearly normal RBC production, easily mistaken for iron deficiency. Three is something called hemoglobin H disease where two forms of unstable hemoblogin circulate and cause major problems that are seen in childhood. Four of them you’re fucked, fetuses generally don’t survive without intrauterine blood transfusions and if they manage to make it full term they need a bone marrow transplant to survive. Pressing X to doubt on this one. She hasn’t mentioned getting sequenced so if she has it, it’s two alleles and presenting as anemia, but more likely she has basic bitch anemia and is just claiming this rare genetic disease.
Another dog off leash attacked them. It is only okay for Abby to let
her reactive dog be off leash. Also the video is the dog licking her on the face, as dogs do, but she claims its a super serious heart rate alert.
Worst infection the doctor has ever seen. Broke her arm.
Lol program dog aspirations have gone out the window and she’s now just going to buy a puppy and train it herself even though she has said over and over she doesn’t have the energy to do so. She also doesn’t have the expertise, but she’ll never admit that. She’s moving home again after making a big deal about getting her house back.
Banjo is suddenly retiring before she even gets the new puppy. Gee, wonder why. We get the first view of her wheelchair and of course, it’s an off-the-rack clunker. Dysautonomia has officially become POTS.
Wow, it’s almost like this is a trend amongst women with personality disorders and social media addictions. Yet another new BFF.
Confirmation that she started dragging this dog to the hospital with her when it was older than the age most legit service dogs are retired.
Prey4me. At U Michigan this time.
After almost a year of silence her mom finally posts on her Caringbridge again. Wew, lots to unpack here. The hospital system she’s been using has told them to fuck off and there’s nothing else they can do for her (I think she’s referring to Sparrow Health). She’s vomiting and not tolerating feeds again, lost a lot of weight, and will be restarting TPN. Two years after refusing anything but a MALS diagnosis and chimping about all these other doctors who said it wasn’t MALS, they finally accept it might not have been fucking MALS. Remember like… a few weeks ago when Abby vented that she had severe body image issues and was obsessing over the scale and weight gain and didn’t want to run her feeds? Good times.
They don’t want to start TPN because she’s such a sepsis risk. Getting scans to see what’s going on.
Abby says she had a chest CT and they found airspace disease, a new pulmonary embolism, enlarged infrahilar lymph nodes, and atelectasis. She is restarted on TPN because her ketone levels are very high and she can’t stop losing weight.
Tries to sell art, no buyers.
I’m sure her barely-trained 11 year old dog has all of this insight. She doesn’t have the time or energy to train the new puppy or even walk her existing dog, and she can’t afford a real trainer. She has this lesbian couple walking them and while she’s been sliding into a new “queer” persona for like a year now, holy shit does the skinwalking escalate.
Mom’s final post on her CaringBridge is to say that TPN has been denied by Medicaid and she might not survive.
Lol, denied her tube feeds and TPN she must resort to… eating. What a concept. She still has no idea how she’s going to get Blaze trained. Love the bag of stomach contents next to her for show.
Go Fund Me to the rescue, of course. She has a great trainer!
Or, you know, no one cares so she’ll just do it herself and claim normal puppy behavior is super serious tasks. She’s training him for “picking response” (lol) plus blood sugar and heart rate alerts. Sure kid whatever you say.
In february she gets sepsis
again and the hospital doesn’t believe her. Despite being told it wasn’t MALS for the umpteenth time by UMich, she’s getting open MALS surgery in March. Mom’s boomerbook is not public, I checked.
In May she looks like absolute shit. She’s rescheduled for open abdo in Connecticut which means it’s Dr. Hsu, the MALS specialist who butchered Anelise/Tina and Aubrey back in the day, who also was supposed to operate on Jaquie before she pussied out of traveling that far north. Also she broke her wrist and she’s a #lesbian with #EDS now, what a surprise.
Her last gridpost was right before new years but it was just pics of her with her dad and no caption. She still posts stories but I haven't caught any interesting ones. But man that was some good old fashioned munchie fun, wasn’t it?
