Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Quasi is officially going for the money.

On January 6th no less. Piggy is gonna lose his fucking mind tonight.
 

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Lady Rackets Ass said:
I think there must be jokes I am missing because I am fairly new to all this
(If anyone wants to read it without giving the retards who made it money I may or may not know a way for you to acquire it)
Click to expand...
1) They're not retards, they're funsters.
2) It's $0.99. No one is getting rich off this bit.
3) Sure you want to steal from a funster?
 
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NotFatChild said:
The pests over at ONA have apparently gotten tired of waiting for Patrick to release his shitty christmas rip off, so they wrote and released their own.

A Christmas Carnage - Kindle edition by Forrems, Owen A.. Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

A Christmas Carnage - Kindle edition by Forrems, Owen A.. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading A Christmas Carnage.
www.amazon.com
View attachment 4206672

At 85 pages, it is 6 pages longer than patrick's "novel" at the moment.
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This is trolling as art, literally.

It's incredible that this is only one of half a dozen Best Thing Evers in this thread today.

Lady Rackets Ass said:
I think there must be jokes I am missing because I am fairly new to all this
(If anyone wants to read it without giving the retards who made it money I may or may not know a way for you to acquire it)
Click to expand...

Pay Quasi. You know what happens if you don't.
 
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Somerville Dan said:
1) They're not retards, they're funsters.
2) It's $0.99. No one is getting rich off this bit.
3) You sure you want to steal from a funster? You know they're watching you right now, right?
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I bought it and it's worth the dollar spent. What a day for Rick, holy shit.

Sample: "This is so convoluted and shitty," Tiny Tim said. "I feel like I'm in one of your ex-husband's novels."
 
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Lady Rackets Ass said:
I think there must be jokes I am missing because I am fairly new to all this
(If anyone wants to read it without giving the retards who made it money I may or may not know a way for you to acquire it)
Click to expand...
Why wouldn't you want to give retards money? What are you, some kind of anti-retard or something?
 
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Quite a fun read so far. Not going to paste much from the book since it's worth definitely worth spending a dollar (Or those free Amazon digital credits), but a couple choice passages:

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It's hilarious that a few trolls can pump out something of higher quality in a fraction of the time as Fatrick.

Edit: The poor Hamlinson character has a surprising number of fat jokes at his expense for some reason.
Edit Edit: Just finished, the plot twist at the end was unexpected and almost sweet in a way. 8/8 Gr8 b8
 
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Honestly, it is a work of art from the Brothermen. The fact that it’s on the second anniversary of the Boomer Grand Tour of our nation’s capitol is just rib-cracking amounts of hilarity.

:tomlinson: : “No, child. It is not hilarious. 1/6 was worse than the Holocaust and Civil War combined.”
 
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FinnSven said:
Obviously the being poor thing is a factor.

The UK has legal aid which unlike a public defender means that one can get a bit more of an experienced or less overworked solicitor.
Rather than an assigned counsel, it’s a matter of finding a lawyer willing to take the case for legal aid.

But I always got the impression that British coppers overall are more willing to let a first or even second offense go.

Plus being caught with a bit of weed or a pill or two isn’t usually prison time, mostly it’s confiscation, a telling off, maybe a fine and then that’s that.

There is more of a boys will be boys attitude, so provided you don’t do anything silly once you are over 20 or so, then they don’t really want to fuck up your life over a drunken scrap or a joint.
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Legal aid is pretty well a thing of the past. It used to be that the poor could get it for everything. Now, it's almost impossible to get. Civil matters are dealt with on a contingency fee basis. Family law (divorce, etc.) -- if you're a woman and your husband is beating you, you might get it. Otherwise it's tough titty.

Criminal law, you'll get it if the case has a serious risk of a custodial sentence. Otherwise, again, tough titty.

You're right about the police not giving a fuck about most possession cases though. Two stories from the early 90's. A friend and I had been shopping in a fashionable boutique. We hadn't bought anything, but we obviously attracted some attention. When we came out, we were stopped by two cops who wanted to search us. I had a quarter ounce of weed in my pocket. They had me turn out my pockets and my bags. You couldn't miss that bag of fat stinky weed I had. It took up the whole of my hand. They just weren't interested. Hadn't stolen anything, so we were free to go.

Another story. Again from the 90's. A friend had a water leak in his flat. The neighbour called the water people to come and break into his flat to stop the leak. We was by-passing his electricity meter. He also had a couple of ten pound bags of heroin on his kitchen table. They found the meter, charged him with abstracting electricity. Weren't arsed about the heroin. Not worth their time.

Of course, if you act the cunt or if their after you for something else, you're definitely getting charged -- but it hasn't been a foregone conclusion for years and years and years now. They know the courts are just giving you a slap on the wrist -- why would they be bothered?
 
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Swole McPole said:
We was by-passing his electricity meter. He also had a couple of ten pound bags of heroin on his kitchen table.
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I assume by ten pound bags you mean something like dime bags, £10, not actual 4.5 kilogram bags of heroin, which would be a substantial amount. I just like the idea of such large amounts of heroin.
 
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AnOminous said:
I assume by ten pound bags you mean something like dime bags, £10, not actual 4.5 kilogram bags of heroin, which would be a substantial amount. I just like the idea of such large amounts of heroin.
Click to expand...

Yeah, a ten bag (£10) has been the standard retail measure for heroin and cocaine since the 80's or so -- right up to today. Size and purity fluctuates, price stays the same.

Had they been 10 lb bags, he would definitely have been charged.
 
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Swole McPole said:
Legal aid is pretty well a thing of the past. It used to be that the poor could get it for everything. Now, it's almost impossible to get. Civil matters are dealt with on a contingency fee basis. Family law (divorce, etc.) -- if you're a woman and your husband is beating you, you might get it. Otherwise it's tough titty.

Criminal law, you'll get it if the case has a serious risk of a custodial sentence. Otherwise, again, tough titty.

You're right about the police not giving a fuck about most possession cases though. Two stories from the early 90's. A friend and I had been shopping in a fashionable boutique. We hadn't bought anything, but we obviously attracted some attention. When we came out, we were stopped by two cops who wanted to search us. I had a quarter ounce of weed in my pocket. They had me turn out my pockets and my bags. You couldn't miss that bag of fat stinky weed I had. It took up the whole of my hand. They just weren't interested. Hadn't stolen anything, so we were free to go.

Another story. Again from the 90's. A friend had a water leak in his flat. The neighbour called the water people to come and break into his flat to stop the leak. We was by-passing his electricity meter. He also had a couple of ten pound bags of heroin on his kitchen table. They found the meter, charged him with abstracting electricity. Weren't arsed about the heroin. Not worth their time.

Of course, if you act the cunt or if their after you for something else, you're definitely getting charged -- but it hasn't been a foregone conclusion for years and years and years now. They know the courts are just giving you a slap on the wrist -- why would they be bothered?
Click to expand...

I am sure you are right about legal aid, but the point was more that if a kid ends up needing it, it will pay for someone with more time than the average US public defender.

They will stand a better chance of not having their life messed up forever.

The kinds who do go in and out of the clink are usually career criminals or people who really don’t learn and just fall into a cycle of idiocy.

Anyway I got the Christmas Carnage novel and it is a hoot.

The best thing is is that now Fatrick is going to have to come up with a different title at least.
I would guess that copyright infringement over the text might be tricky as Dickens characters are public domain, but I am sure the pests will find a way to make it as annoying as possible as long as possible for him if he just tries to write and publish this.
 
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-A Friday release of A Christmas Carnage by Owen A Forrems.
-A Friday legal filing in Wisconsin so that the collection process begins in earnest. It ought to include legal service to Patso, who has no attorney, so someone handed him the papers directly. Man, for body cam footage of that...

Welp, That's Patso's week-end sorted. The next 48 hours are for oinking, blubbering and drowning his sorrows in cheap booze. I find the slattern Nikki to be thoroughly repulsive, but I still hope she is with her folks, or her *dear friend* Jen Huber. Things are going to get nasty at the ha' hovel.

'Twould be nice to see some of the book sale profits go to defray legal costs incurred by Quasi and Null in this matter. Not all the profits. The Pest's should certainly treat themselves to some Miller Lite's and pepperoni pizza. Maybe spend some time enjoying a jacuzzi, and the before, during and after. They have earned it.

For those of you on the fence, you buy the book so it rises higher on the best-seller list than anything Piggy wrote . That on its own, that Owen A. Forrems sold more books than he has, would sting worse than anything a Tarantula hawk wasp could deliver.
 
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