The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Jaimas]

The Tranch remains a simultaneously hilarious and depressing look at the troon psyche.

 

[FinnSven]

That was my first reaction too, I remember hearing somewhere that one easy way to show audience that character is good is to show them rescuing small animals (especially kittens or puppies).

A good way of introducing a hero in a movie and having the audience identify them as a noble character is to have them appear in their first shot with a pet dog.

Rescuing a kitten works too. That’s why fireman are stereotyped as doing it, to reinforce the idea of them being brave and strong but gentle and protective of the vulnerable.

The closest penny get to a firefighter is when he attempts to burn alpaca corpses to cover his hideous crimes.

 

[Ghostse]

Let’s discuss something a bit less grim than dying animals: A cute kitten! It probably won’t die a painful death since it’s not livestock.
So they say, they found it in the field. First of all, what fucking field? Second of all, how did it make its way there? We all just saw how isolated they are.
Nonetheless, I will begin with Penny’s post announcing the poor newcomer. [A]
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Note that I said I will begin with Penny’s post, despite Kevin’s being made a few minutes earlier. That’s because it would be mean to hit you with a Kevin selfie right away. The cat, named Wisp, looks terrified in Kevin’s arms, although I may be wrong about this. Idk about cats. [A]
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The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch has to flex their animal whisperer abilities to everybody, so he was also introduced on that account. Now, I don’t want to nitpick, but Penny writes here that the cat was rescued this morning. Dear reader, if you look at the timestamps on these posts, you may notice that this was tweeted a full 24 hours after the previous ones. Either he’s lying about stupid shit or his brain is fried, and we don’t know which. [A]
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Today, we get an update on Wisp. He’s putting on weight (as does everybody in the Tranch) and he’s getting acquainted with the other felines. [A]
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And he has found the cat tree. [A]
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I need one of you spergs to enlighten us on cat behavior or something. Also, it is not lost on me the fact that most of the photos have Kevin’s toys and random messes in the background.

Additionally, this may have been covered but it made me laugh so I’m posting it anyways. [A]
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Spoiler: Pics

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That kitten looks well fed and cared for. Bollocks Penny found it, he probably bought it then lied to Kevvie and twitter in another attempt to look like a caring decent person.

No way in hell that is a stray they found in the field. Do you know why there isn't a feral cat problem in rural plains Colorado? In a word: Eagles.
Cats are the perfect size for size for snacking, kittens even better. There is zero chance that kitten lasts more than 3 hours without being a snack. Kittens are small enough for Ravens. And that's before you get into the issues with coyotes.
That is a cat they got from someone.

 

[FinnSven]

No way in hell that is a stray they found in the field. Do you know why there isn't a feral cat problem in rural plains Colorado? In a word: Eagles.
Cats are the perfect size for size for snacking, kittens even better. There is zero chance that kitten lasts more than 3 hours without being a snack. Kittens are small enough for Ravens. And that's before you get into the issues with coyotes.
That is a cat they got from someone.

Plus it’s winter there too? Correct?

A large rat or pack of rats could easily prey on a kitten too.

Semi off topic, but I have been watching Yellowstone.
While I firmly believe Costner is a terrible actor who can only play himself, I would actually like to see a John Dutton esque Colorado neighbor of the tranch hear about the alleged siege and Penny’s claims about a fascist militia of anti trans earls, and come to the tranch firstly to see if he can help out.

I think the stereotype slow to anger, but wise and straightforward old school rancher kinda guy would be Penny’s absolute worst nightmare.
Especially as it becomes more and more clear to the Rancher what has been going on, the mismanagement of the land, and the tranchers themselves as people.

 

[Prince Vegeta]

That cat looks like one of those accidental thoroughbred whoopsies, where a Maine coon or a Norwegian forest cat had a good time with a filthy commoner and the litter is worth nothing and they're sold (or worse).

 

[FinnSven]

That cat looks like one of those accidental thoroughbred whoopsies, where a Maine coon or a Norwegian forest cat had a good time with a filthy commoner and the litter is worth nothing and they're sold (or worse).

Better than any Patrick Tomlinson Oopsie doodles.

 

[Ghostse]

Plus it’s winter there too? Correct?

A large rat or pack of rats could easily prey on a kitten too.

Oh yeah, didn't think about winter; there is zero chance that ferals cats would be fucking and having winter babies - ones that survive, at any rate.

There isn't much of a rat issue for same bird-of-prey reasons. Any rodents that thrive are burrowers.

While I firmly believe Costner is a terrible actor who can only play himself

Give Mr. Brooks a try.

Mr. Brooks - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[The NSA]

Penny can try and use a kitten to show how caring he is, but no caring person abandons the children they created with their two baby mamas.

He abandoned his kids, he abandoned the alpacas with his neglect, and he will abandon his pets when mommy and daddy get sick of them pissing all over the floor. Penny is a bad person. Good people stay in their kids lives even if they’re no longer involved with the other parent.

 

[FinnSven]

Oh yeah, didn't think about winter; there is zero chance that ferals cats would be fucking and having winter babies - ones that survive, at any rate.

There isn't much of a rat issue for same bird-of-prey reasons. Any rodents that thrive are burrowers.




Give Mr. Brooks a try.

Mr. Brooks - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I will give it a try, but after Kevin Costner, Prince of Thieves, Kevin Costner builds a baseball pitch, Kevin Costner goes native, Kevin Costner in the post apocalypse sea version and land version featuring Tom Petty, I don’t hold out much hope!

 

[FinnSven]

Double post, but who can forget Kevin Costner “protects” Whitney Huston from Buffalo Bill?

And when he met Dennis Pennis.

Dennis Pennis Roasts Kevin Costner. Comedy.

Clip from comedy show Dennis Pennis.

youtu.be

 

[Ghostse]

I will give it a try, but after Kevin Costner, Prince of Thieves, Kevin Costner builds a baseball pitch, Kevin Costner goes native, Kevin Costner in the post apocalypse sea version and land version featuring Tom Petty, I don’t hold out much hope!

Well in this one he's a serial killer. So maybe at least there'll be some catharisis.

 

[Oxyjen]

I will give it a try, but after Kevin Costner, Prince of Thieves, Kevin Costner builds a baseball pitch, Kevin Costner goes native, Kevin Costner in the post apocalypse sea version and land version featuring Tom Petty, I don’t hold out much hope!

Kevin Costner in Bad Sea Scenario is most excellent and I won’t hear a word said against it.

 

[Ghostse]

Kevin Costner in Bad Sea Scenario is most excellent and I won’t hear a word said against it.

The Waterworld live-action show at Universal is fucking phenomenal and lives up to the hype.

 

[FinnSven]

Kevin Costner in Bad Sea Scenario is most excellent and I won’t hear a word said against it.

I like(?) to think that once he made this it set Mel Gibson off and they wound up having an insane wrestle over who was the best post apocalyptic hero.

 

[one_time_user]

That's no stray or feral kitten. I have people who occasionally catch stray and feral cats and kittens and drop them off at my house as a mid point to getting them into foster for rescue. Stray kittens are terrified- period. If they've been stray for even a few days it fucks with their sense of safety and you can count on them hiding for quite a while.

Feral kittens are like having a shrunken honey badger- they're fucking terrifying. It takes weeks and months to tame them and there are various levels of tame. That's a kitten they got from a friend or off Craigslist /social media.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Semi off topic, but I have been watching Yellowstone.

John Dutton would personally horsewhip every one of the Tranchers.

And I think Costner's portrayal of him excuses a lot of turkeys he's been in.

 

[Ballsack Pussylips]

Let’s discuss something a bit less grim than dying animals: A cute kitten! It probably won’t die a painful death since it’s not livestock.
So they say, they found it in the field. First of all, what fucking field? Second of all, how did it make its way there? We all just saw how isolated they are.
Nonetheless, I will begin with Penny’s post announcing the poor newcomer. [A]

Such blatant liars. Their brains must be fried to think anyone would buy that BS.

Clean, groomed (long!) fur, clear eyes, not a speck of dirt. This cat has never been outdoors. Look at those paws:



Those are not the paws of a cat that has been outside, especially not in Colorado winter.

They probably claim to have found it, because they are afraid that spending money on a new cat from a breeder would hurt their grift.

 

[FinnSven]

John Dutton would personally horsewhip every one of the Tranchers.

And I think Costner's portrayal of him excuses a lot of turkeys he's been in.

Eventually.

It would be a process of first giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming their hearts are in the right place, until he is so appalled at them that horsewhippin’ becomes the solution.

It’s not that Costner is in bad films, it’s just that he plays himself.
Kevin Costner takes down Al Capone for instance.
DeNiro and Sean Connery are in character, believable and show stealing as you would expect, but then Kevin shows up and is not Elliot Ness, he is Kevin the Fed.

 

[AfghanBlue]

What are the three stooges going to do when they move to Penny's relatives house?

They can't grift as a Trans haven, they can't get surfs in to do the work, where's the angle?
I presume Kevin will just go on begging even without the backstory but it's hard to see how they can get any leverage.

They can direct things from where they are, send troons over onto the land to til it for them, feudal lord style.

Honestly they are lucky Bonnie is kicking them off, now then can blame the end on him.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

So they say, they found it in the field. First of all, what fucking field?

The killing field