"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses.
"Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves."
"I love Japan, period," said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt. His slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation.
"Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop. But then things took a turn for the worse.
"J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy haired delinquent, quite obvious high on something.
"Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor retarded child," Kobayashi thought to himself. But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the makeup on his face smeared across his flesh visage.
"GIRUGIMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaimed, stabbing the air vehemently with two massive pudgy fingers.
"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thought to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear and morbid fascination.
"I LOVE ANIME!" shrieked a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender.
"AND MANGA," yelled the man-lady's back-quatto. The horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across he/she's eyes.
Kobayashi was speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him.
"AND GAYMEN!" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spewed forth, every syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity.
"Uhhhh..DDR," said a man quite plainly.
"Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of inward relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next.
"SMILE D.K.," squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair.
As these things happened a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and live making it wrong, corrupting it. I can not, no, I will not stand idly by as these creature from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYY," Kobayashi growled, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON HE IKIMAAAAAAAASU," he bellowed, the traditional war-cry of the Kobayashi clan. As Kobayashi leapt over the table the gathered masses began morphing, faces tore asunder to reveal rows upon of sharp teeth, new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true beastial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with precision afforded him though years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as buckets of blood were spilled. The organs and flesh of his erstwhile patrons spewing forth like water flowing down a hill. Kobayashi and his restaurant were strewn with every type of viscera, and he loosed an animalistic howl to the still rising moon.
Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee high pile of carcasses, and, having finally exited his restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his knife striding off into the horizon. Kobayashi knew that he had honored his ancestors with this act of true bravery, and helped rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
