حلال Alan Michael White / Orson Zedd / Regulus Youmans / Nintenfreak / nintfjr - A time capsule opens revealing Chris's long lost twin. Donkey Kong incest fetishist, opsec expert, ontologically paedophilic.

[Vott]

Alan posts the iconic Donky Kong family tree on Mastodon for DonkyKongDecember, Some dumb comment about Transformers, And quoting the bible when he's an atheist to a troon?

 

[Lerias]

If CWC has the Sonichu dimensional merge, Orson needs a Donkey Kong incest fanfic dimensional merge. He can't fully be Chris' long lost twin without this type of bullshittery.

Also good to revisit my first proper lolcow apart from Chris himself and YandereDev and see that he has only gotten more insane and insane. Was a guest lurker around the time Orson got fucked over in the searchable username thread.

 

[Mysterious Autist XX]

Alan posts the iconic Donky Kong family tree on Mastodon for DonkyKongDecember, Some dumb comment about Transformers, And quoting the bible when he's an atheist to a troon?
View attachment 4106382View attachment 4106409View attachment 4106424

I still think it's a fake account to throw us off his trail.

 

[Vott]

Transfixed by Stickerbrush Symphony from Donky Kong Country 2 (https://archive.ph/9uzSn)


What transfixed him

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I can't wait for him to make his own mash up between Donkey Kong and a Sega franchise. We can't use Sonic because Chris took it.

 

[Pissmaster]

Transfixed by Stickerbrush Symphony from Donky Kong Country 2 (https://archive.ph/9uzSn)
View attachment 4122405

What transfixed him

There was a whole thing online when Smash Bros. Brawl came out where a lot of people raved over Stickerbrush Symphony, since it was one of the better remixes in the game, and prominently used in The Subspace Emissary.

I had DKC2 growing up. I didn't notice the song until Smash because every stage that used Stickerbrush Symphony was really difficult, and the calm music didn't quell me at all. It's called Stickerbrush Symphony because it's set in levels where there are stickerbrushes, vines covered with death spikes, everywhere. The only thing I am 100% certain is true, in OrsonZedd's post, is that he was sad as a child and still is today.

DKC2 has an excellent soundtrack, but of course Orson focuses right in on the one song that got something of a following. It wouldn't surprise me if he's never listened to some of the better tracks, like Mining Melancholy or Hot Head Bop, because they never made it into Smash, so forum autists never pointed them out, so OrsonZedd doesn't notice, because he's only capable of parroting others tastes and opinions as his own.

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

I can't wait for him to make his own mash up between Donkey Kong and a Sega franchise. We can't use Sonic because Chris took it.

Donkey Kong and Alex Kidd

I had DKC2 growing up. I didn't notice the song until Smash because every stage that used Stickerbrush Symphony was really difficult, and the calm music didn't quell me at all. It's called Stickerbrush Symphony because it's set in levels where there are stickerbrushes, vines covered with death spikes, everywhere. The only thing I am 100% certain is true, in OrsonZedd's post, is that he was sad as a child and still is today.

DKC2 has an excellent soundtrack, but of course Orson focuses right in on the one song that got something of a following. It wouldn't surprise me if he's never listened to some of the better tracks, like Mining Melancholy or Hot Head Bop, because they never made it into Smash, so forum autists never pointed them out, so OrsonZedd doesn't notice, because he's only capable of parroting others tastes and opinions as his own.

I think Stickerbrush resonates with people because the levels were so difficult and repetition stuck the song in their heads. I've always preferred Forest Interlude myself.

 

[ASeabear8952]

I always thought Stickerbush Symphony was the best track personally. I like to think that it was made so whimsical on purpose as to contrast the frustratingly difficult levels it was paired with. DKC2 has one of the best video game OSTs, period.

 

[NoonmanR]

Initially Stickerbrush Symphony was intended to be more or less that game's version of Aquatic Ambience, but the underwater stages didn't return. Hard to believe there's a timeline where that song isn't included in the game, since it's one of the most memorable things about DKC2.

 

[A Hot Potato]

DKC3's soundtrack is better lol

 

[Vott]

Alan gets into it with others over R/atheism getting dunked on, That guy made a good point there in the last snippet, Why obsess about religion so much when you don't believe in it? People either believe in God or they don't. (https://archive.ph/wMhwr)

 

[Spunt]

I'm not a Christian myself but I'd rather live somewhere whose laws and jurisprudence was created by Christians "legislating their morality" than somewhere where communist paedophiles like Alan had done the same.

 

[Stabmaster Arson II]

Man who writes fan fiction erotic stories featuring a child monkey called Tiny Kong rails against Christian morality. Every atheist supersperg has skeletons like this.

Also he's trying to claim the flood never happened. Has he any idea how many different religions and historical accounts mention the flood?

Hey Alan. Do Islam next. I dare you to dunk on Mohammed.

 

[make_it_so]

I'm not a Christian myself but I'd rather live somewhere whose laws and jurisprudence was created by Christians "legislating their morality" than somewhere where communist paedophiles like Alan had done the same.

And ironically enough, so would communist pedophiles like Alan.

Also he's trying to claim the flood never happened. Has he any idea how many different religions and historical accounts mention the flood?

Even actual scientists have stated that the global glacial retreat at the end of the Ice Age led to a significant rise in sea levels and a submerging of once inhabitable land in areas around the Mediterranean, the Persian Gulf, and the Black Sea, and have admitted that these are more than likely the source the Great Flood stories seen in the Bible and other religious texts.

 

[Thorn]

Even actual scientists have stated that the global glacial retreat at the end of the Ice Age led to a significant rise in sea levels and a submerging of once inhabitable land in areas around the Mediterranean, the Persian Gulf, and the Black Sea, and have admitted that these are more than likely the source the Great Flood stories seen in the Bible and other religious texts.

We're even starting to find underwater ruins with clearly-defined structures in those areas, which makes him look even more like a moron. He seems to fail to understand that the Old Testament/Torah is based on oral history and traditions that long pre-date writing, and while there are clearly some biases on the part of the authors (such as no archeological evidence of enslaved Jews in Egypt in the assumed time period attested to in scripture, but PLENTY of contracted tradesmen), he assumes that any "enlightened" culture would disregard it as the works of madmen just because some millionaire in a glass megachurch says bad things. That doesn't even begin to mention that it's one of the few written accounts of Middle Eastern pre-history and should be studied for that alone.

Even his "your God is an uncaring God" thing falls on deaf ears when taking the Old Testament into account, because pretty much the entire thing tells you repeatedly, "yeah, He's a dick, but what are you going to do about it? At least He taught us how to survive on this bitch of an earth." There are even entire sections dedicated to what happens when people get too entitled to basic needs without work, which I guess is what pisses him off so much.

 

[RACISM]

There are even entire sections dedicated to what happens when people get too entitled to basic needs without work, which I guess is what pisses him off so much.

Hit the nail on the head. Alan is a spiritual nigger and hates the bible like he hates his dad, because they both have standards he can't live up to (don't be a waste of space, don't be a pedo).

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

Alan is a spiritual nigger and hates the bible like he hates his dad, because they both have standards he can't live up to (don't be a waste of space, don't be a pedo, take the goddamn garbage out one day o' fucking week).

You forgot one.

 

[AnOminous]

Even his "your God is an uncaring God" thing falls on deaf ears when taking the Old Testament into account, because pretty much the entire thing tells you repeatedly, "yeah, He's a dick, but what are you going to do about it? At least He taught us how to survive on this bitch of an earth." There are even entire sections dedicated to what happens when people get too entitled to basic needs without work, which I guess is what pisses him off so much.

I doubt he's ever read in any depth. Not just the Bible but anything, because his takes are invariably piss-cold. He's probably just repeating things other redditors have said before him. He would probably also buy into those dumb theories that Jesus was only invented centuries later, just because, even though there's fairly substantial evidence of his historical existence whatever you may think of his divinity.

 

[Big Nasty]

It all fits together very neatly:

https://www.theatlantic.com/interna...fends-mild-pedophilia-again-and-again/311230/

 

[Vott]

He's still going