- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
Ugh. I don't like her even associating with Tennant.
Let's play "Name the pills!"
- Some kind of Omega-3s
- ???
- Zoloft/Sertraline
- ??? Vitamin C?
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
Ugh. I don't like her even associating with Tennant.
Let's play "Name the pills!"
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
FFS. Yet again, I have a burning desire to reach through my laptop's monitor and smack the shit out of her. Who could possibly be /that/ fucking stupid to mess up a boxed cake mix? She wasn't even making it from /scratch./
And she did this as an adult.
Even Bowie knows that adding eggshells when the box calls for egg whites is retarded.
And this woman believes she is capable of speaking authoritatively on any fucking subject.
Tess, go find your second braincell. I think it escaped your skull and is knocking around in a pill jar somewhere.
And she did this as an adult.
Even Bowie knows that adding eggshells when the box calls for egg whites is retarded.
And this woman believes she is capable of speaking authoritatively on any fucking subject.
Tess, go find your second braincell. I think it escaped your skull and is knocking around in a pill jar somewhere.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2021
pours out too many pills
"We're just going with it."
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2016
What the fuck is Tess doing baking a cake anyway? She usually drives six hours round trip for a cake at the Madonna Inn (which she hasn’t been to in months) or orders one through Postmates. Her cakejohn money must be drying up or at least no longer enough to cover all her whims like it used to.
yousoundlikeanasshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2020
In the comments on that video she said she was 13 when this happened, but that's still old enough to know what egg whites are.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2021
If you pay attention to her explanation, it strongly implies she still doesn't understand what an egg white is.
She dumped out the yolks of the eggs and put the eggshells in the cake batter. Where did the egg whites go, you stupid bitch?!
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2021
I love that she's wearing a Lisa shirt while getting defensive about being a morbidly obese parent
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
She thinks the whole inside of the egg is the yolk because "the only white part of the egg is the shell".
Also in her comments she outs her mom's TikTok account but it's private.
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- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
This entire thing seems too contrived to be believable. Are there boxed mixes in the U.S. that call for just egg whites? That seems very specific, and very specialised for the supposed convenience of a boxed mix. Anything like that here calls for something like a single *whole* egg. If she claimed she'd put the entire egg (with shell in) in that case I would believe her...
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
It's common for things to just ask for the whites, but you have to be some kind of stupid even at 13 to think that this means the shells; stupid in the way that it sounds like a hacky thing to have a character in a TV show to do. There's no way that she hadn't had a fried, poached or soft boiled egg prior to making that cake or at least had seen an egg getting cooked somewhere to know what an egg white was and that the translucent part of an uncooked egg is ultimately what the white part is.
I'm sure that she's always been mind numbingly dumb, but as a coping mechanism I'm choosing to believe that she's making up a story to come across as cute or quirky or something.
I'm sure that she's always been mind numbingly dumb, but as a coping mechanism I'm choosing to believe that she's making up a story to come across as cute or quirky or something.
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2019
Betty Crocker mixes for WHITE cake in Leafland give you the option of either egg whites or whole eggs.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
I don't think I've ever once been surprised by the selfie avatars of the women on Tik Tok who try to gas her up.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
There are, in fact, many box mixes that call for egg whites. All of these are white cakes, and they do generally have the option to add whole eggs, just as they do in Canada.
It's just fluffier and lighter if you use only whites is all.
yousoundlikeanasshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2020
Someone complimenting one of your garbage tattoos is not the same as someone being interested in boning you, you ignorant sow.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2019
"Check out my glucometer, ya'll! It links to this miniature sex toy that vibrates and plays a Cardi B song when I need to adjust mah blud sugar!"
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
So, uh, she got paid for this, right?
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2022
I mean, it's not all because you're a deathfat...as this video is a prime example. You're gross.
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2019
How gracious.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
Is this a filter? Her nose looks more upturned and her eyes more slanted. Either way, I have never seen her look more like an actual anthropomorphized pig than here. Deeply, deeply unflattering, but maybe that’s just her face.
It’s weird that people see me and don’t wanna be me because I’m fat
There’s a number of reasons a sane person would not want to be Tess. First of all, and least of all, she’s not just fat - she’s that fat. Massively, unable-to-wipe, detrimental-to-health, feature-obscuringly fat.
Besides that, she is awful. Her fake voice is awful, her fashion sense is awful, her personality is awful and so are her sycophant “friends”. Plenty of lovely fat people exist, fat is rarely the main issue, it’s what’s inside that counts. Tess is a husk of an overfed gremlin stuffed with a bad attitude, no actual depth or humor, and cheap snack cakes.
She is also a terrible mother. Her older son is thriving without her while her youngest son is clearly suffering under her care. Potty trained late, unable to clearly speak, separated from his father and used as a pawn for revenge, forced to wear hair he does not feel comfortable with and she puts him in her videos. Videos that are posted on a channel where she sexualizes herself, appears nearly naked, and seemingly does fetish content (not that her whole schtick isn’t fetish) She lets random people call him their son and sleep in his room. She dumps him off with other people whenever possible. She bad mouths his father to the entire world. She drops her son off, and picks him up, at his elementary school, in a bra and leggings.
She is bad with her money. She spends money on tat and clutter. She spends money on poorly fitted fast fashion and fucking cake themed clothes. She spends money on expensive designer purses and shoes to wear while bar and club hopping. She used to spend money on $100+ cakes. Meanwhile, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her younger son dressed in anything other than Halloween costumes or sweat pants. Her front room is packed with shit and his room, last time it was shown, didn’t even have a picture on the wall.
And she is fake. Fake lips, fake hair color, fake nails, fake life. She pretends she is a sad struggling single mother but lives in a California (in a shit area but still) high-ish rise with new furniture and art on the walls, and spends like she has no limit. She pretends she’s relevant as a model but she’s had no real new work in a long time. She pretended he pop up fashion line or whatever the hell was successful, but it was cut to an 85% discount within weeks of release. She scammed her real fans out of a lot of money and then pretended she never did and never made them whole. She has a new “omg bff” every few instagram posts. She pretends to be anorexic while shoving cake in her face. She pretends to be intelligent but is obviously not, based on her grammar and her take on the world.
And none of this is speculation! This is all what she willingly broadcasts.
Tess has no real love in her life, no real comfort, no real sense of self, and that is very sad. Which is why all those people can watch her online, with her dead eyes and slack jowls, and listen to her vocal fry and her play acting at being human, and not want to emulate it. Fat does not even come into play when you consider the rest.
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