Sex Toy General - We all have them. Even you.

[one_time_user]

So, 'a friend' got this and a bunch of other stuff from that site. It's the best prices of quality items- it ships from Australia though. Quick shipping to reach the states but does lay up in customs for a while. Get at least one moderately priced, well made, well reviewed item instead of wasting money on multiple cheap items.

 

[BelUwUga]

So, 'a friend' got this and a bunch of other stuff from that site. It's the best prices of quality items- it ships from Australia though. Quick shipping to reach the states but does lay up in customs for a while. Get at least one moderately priced, well made, well reviewed item instead of wasting money on multiple cheap items.

Lelo is a pretty reputable brand and should be easy to find from most retailers of such items. You can see a lot of the Chinese manufacturers "borrow" heavily from their design features. From what I've heard your actually getting >$100 worth of sex toy with these instead of an obscene premium for bluetooth so you can do bing-bing-wahoo on MFC.

 

[TheRetardKing]

Slam dat' Man Ham til' it's jam.

 

[Vingle]

concerning male fleshlight hygiene since it came up:
you clean fleshlights by taking out the flexible inner tube, rinsing it properly with warm water and soap and allowing it to dry fully (I recommend blasting a hairdryer on the cold setting through it initially) before applying corn starch to ensure there is no moisture left at all.

They are made with porous material, which breaks downs over time. Thing is and this is weird af. Women have plenty of body-safe silicone toys to chose from, but men does not and yes. There are some silicone strokers on the market, but eh. They are mostly furry-shit/Bad Dragon or stroker as in not a fleshlight. Which make it better to just jack it off with your hand.
Silicone strokers have a bad habit of being too rough, too hard texture bumps. Which make them not pleasurable to use.

 

[Lichen Bark]

Hard hat recommended.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Re: the balldo, Mister Metokur uncovers the true meaning behind the balldo.

It's simulating knotting.

9:00 if you don't want to see Rekieta.

 

[BelUwUga]

They are made with porous material, which breaks downs over time. Thing is and this is weird af. Women have plenty of body-safe silicone toys to chose from, but men does not and yes. There are some silicone strokers on the market, but eh. They are mostly furry-shit/Bad Dragon or stroker as in not a fleshlight. Which make it better to just jack it off with your hand.
Silicone strokers have a bad habit of being too rough, too hard texture bumps. Which make them not pleasurable to use.

Doc Johnson's 'Ultraskyn' is a pretty good soft-silicone/equivalent that cleans well. Things like TPE that aren't insertion safe do work fairly well for strokers and have compositions conducive to cleaning. Cal Exotics has a similar material (I have reason to believe DJ/CE are not as separate as marketing implies). LeLuv is a smaller/less-prominent brand that seems to have a fairly solid procurement angle on a lot of popular toys in good quality.

Tenga is certainly an example of how much the Japs will spend and how far they will go to make nice things. I wouldn't consider it as "cleanable" but for some the other quality improvement is worth it. Potentially helpful: a 6-pack of the eggs works out to $6/each. You can snip an X on the end if bottoming out is an issue. Not cheap enough for every wank but certainly within the realm to be one-time-use.

Edit: Surgilube is going to be significantly thicker than most normal lubes. This can help it lubricate things like fleshlights more effectively.

 

[Vingle]

Doc Johnson's 'Ultraskyn' is a pretty good soft-silicone/equivalent that cleans well. Things like TPE that aren't insertion safe do work fairly well for strokers and have compositions conducive to cleaning

It isn't as good as silicone, but it's better than other porous materials. This sent me on a hunt to see if there is anything new on the silicone masturbators front. I saw a online store say they didn't keep them in stock, because they were expensive.
Bitch, they are more expensive because they are hygienic to use more than a few months. I much rather pay 100 bucks for one in silicone, than keep throwing and re-buying those that degrade the moment you look at them
But this is newly released and basically a fleshlight the silicone edition + the sleeve doesn't scream that it's a sex toy.
I would say this is big, as there is no real competition to the fleshlight at the market.


They released this stroker too, but in my humble opinion. I don't see the advantage over using a stroker instead of doing with only your hand. The point of a masturbator is to avoid the death grip and make it feel more realistic.


They have this too, I hate it and threw it in the bin after a few uses. It's way too rough even when it's fully open and lubing it up is a mess, as it tends to drip out of the other hole + you get tired fast holding onto it while doing your business. As its quite small.
TMI, but didn't know how I was going to explain how this is a bad product without dragging in some user experience.


Advent calendars for sextoys. This is so cringe, and I feel genuine secondhand embarrassment for those who buys this shit. Especially the BDSM toys. I get it that there are many thing you don't need in todays society, but I can't wrap my mind around even wanting a fuck ton of sex toys

 

[Elysian]

Advent calendars for sextoys. This is so cringe, and I feel genuine secondhand embarrassment for those who buys this shit. Especially the BDSM toys. I get it that there are many thing you don't need in todays society, but I can't wrap my mind around even wanting a fuck ton of sex toys
View attachment 3996705
View attachment 3996708

I have a feeling the target demographic for these is people with lacklustre sex lives that want to spice things up a bit but aren’t sure how to go about doing that? Although sex toy hoarders do exist, I once saw a picture from a guy that must have every bad dragon dildo in existence. It was like an even more degenerate funko pop collection. Then again, funko collectors probably would use them as dildos if they had duplicates, so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.

 

[Colonel Gaddafi]

I get it that there are many thing you don't need in todays society, but I can't wrap my mind around even wanting a fuck ton of sex toys

I have a feeling the target demographic for these is people with lacklustre sex lives that want to spice things up a bit but aren’t sure how to go about doing that? Although sex toy hoarders do exist, I once saw a picture from a guy that must have every bad dragon dildo in existence. It was like an even more degenerate funko pop collection. Then again, funko collectors probably would use them as dildos if they had duplicates, so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.

For people who have large sex toy collections (we’re talking enough to fill a large Tupperware container, not a room full a la Belle Delphine) I think it could go in a few different ways. You have coom consumers who will buy literally the same toy over and over, just in different colors. These are your Bad Dragon ‘collectors’, or ‘sex toy reviewers’. You have people who have piss poor sex lives, so they’re trying to compensate; and then you have people who are probably pretty normal with healthy sex lives. For instance, those in long term monogamous relationships who like to try new things without becoming degenerate and stepping outside of the relationship or getting into weird kinks, as I often seen married couples advised to do by other degens to ‘spice things up’.

 

[Timmy Jolsen]

Given that my Butterfly Kiss vibrator became unrecognizable as a butterfly at least a year ago (wings and antenna long gone) and now the vibrating unit itself is wearing out, it's time I fork out another fifteen bucks to clog up the hole for another couple years.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

This sort of thread is why I rarely venture into the Salon

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Buckyballs. Let me tell you a story about my last buckyfucky. I am the luckiest dumbass ever to live. So I had the weekend at home to myself. My flatmate had gone away, a little me-time was scheduled. Now, I like to experiment. I'd heard about sounding (sticking things into the urethra) and thought I'd give it a go. Initial experiments were unsuccessful- chopsticks were a little large for my virgin pee-hole. No big deal, I'm sure I can find something else.

Now, a little history. Do you know what Buckyballs are? They are a type of office toy, really popular a couple of years back. They are small, spherical, strong magnets. Pretty neat, they can be combined into all sorts of cool shapes. Also, they form into a lovely string.

Can you see where this is going?

Well, wouldn't you know it, a string of buckyballs slides up the urethra just perfectly. Like it was made for it. It's a beautiful thing. I pass away a happy afternoon plumbing the depths; these things can go a long way! And the further they go, believe me, the better it feels.

Readers. Readers who have owned Buckyballs. Do you see my error? Do you see how this delicate chain of balls, so exquisitely suited to its purpose, holds my doom?

So, evening rolls around. I decide on one last plunge. This cop is a day from retirement. This space miner has discovered a nest of funny-looking eggs. This hitchhiker is rolling up to the Bates Motel. And this is one last plunge. In they go. Ten, twenty, thirty beads. More. Forty? Fifty? I don't count. I don't care. It feels good.

I feel at this point I must explain a little more about buckyballs. I have described them as a chain; this is not so. Each ball is separate, only held to the next by its magnetism. And what do magnets love to do? They love to stick together. Remember this. I did not.

My last plunge, my final dive continues. Soon, better than half a metre of magnets is inside me. I am through the prostate, through the sphincter, in the bladder. I push on. I hit the top of the bladder. I am possessed. I push on. The buckyballs, the magnets, start to bend and curve back towards themselves. Still, I push on.

-click-

I hear a sound from deep within me.

The sound of two magnets meeting and mating.

Suddenly my beautiful chain of balls is a tangled magnetized lump. In my bladder.

This is the worst possible thing.

But now I have lengthened my tale overlong. Panic stations were activated, rationality and sobrerity returned, and I started to pull. Gently, oh so gently I pulled. This chain, this thin chain of balls was still held together only by magnetism and hope, and now there was resistance. At any moment the chain could break, would break, was certain to break. And if it did, there would be no hope. Nothing short of surgery would remove them.

Still the chain held. All the way down, right down to the penis. Did you know, the smallest diameter part of the whole system is the end of the penis? I do. Oh, I do. It stuck. A magnetic lump of steel, a centimetre wide, stuck an inch from freedom. Locked behind my penile gates. The chain broke. Many times, the chain broke. But the blockage was so close to the end that, with care, it could be reattached. Only to break again.

Of note here is the pinching. I hope you do not know the pain of a thin layer of penile skin being pinched repeatedly between two powerful magnets. There was blood. Even now it throbs.

The end, however, was in sight. The magnet clump was out of the danger zone, the operation zone; it was in my penis. I could control it. I could win. And, with the help of a knife and a ballpoint pen lid, I did.

TL;DR: I'm not sure I'd advise sticking 74 magnets up your dick.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Buckyballs. Let me tell you a story about my last buckyfucky. I am the luckiest dumbass ever to live. So I had the weekend at home to myself. My flatmate had gone away, a little me-time was scheduled. Now, I like to experiment. I'd heard about sounding (sticking things into the urethra) and thought I'd give it a go. Initial experiments were unsuccessful- chopsticks were a little large for my virgin pee-hole. No big deal, I'm sure I can find something else.

Now, a little history. Do you know what Buckyballs are? They are a type of office toy, really popular a couple of years back. They are small, spherical, strong magnets. Pretty neat, they can be combined into all sorts of cool shapes. Also, they form into a lovely string.

Can you see where this is going?

Well, wouldn't you know it, a string of buckyballs slides up the urethra just perfectly. Like it was made for it. It's a beautiful thing. I pass away a happy afternoon plumbing the depths; these things can go a long way! And the further they go, believe me, the better it feels.

Readers. Readers who have owned Buckyballs. Do you see my error? Do you see how this delicate chain of balls, so exquisitely suited to its purpose, holds my doom?

So, evening rolls around. I decide on one last plunge. This cop is a day from retirement. This space miner has discovered a nest of funny-looking eggs. This hitchhiker is rolling up to the Bates Motel. And this is one last plunge. In they go. Ten, twenty, thirty beads. More. Forty? Fifty? I don't count. I don't care. It feels good.

I feel at this point I must explain a little more about buckyballs. I have described them as a chain; this is not so. Each ball is separate, only held to the next by its magnetism. And what do magnets love to do? They love to stick together. Remember this. I did not.

My last plunge, my final dive continues. Soon, better than half a metre of magnets is inside me. I am through the prostate, through the sphincter, in the bladder. I push on. I hit the top of the bladder. I am possessed. I push on. The buckyballs, the magnets, start to bend and curve back towards themselves. Still, I push on.

-click-

I hear a sound from deep within me.

The sound of two magnets meeting and mating.

Suddenly my beautiful chain of balls is a tangled magnetized lump. In my bladder.

This is the worst possible thing.

But now I have lengthened my tale overlong. Panic stations were activated, rationality and sobrerity returned, and I started to pull. Gently, oh so gently I pulled. This chain, this thin chain of balls was still held together only by magnetism and hope, and now there was resistance. At any moment the chain could break, would break, was certain to break. And if it did, there would be no hope. Nothing short of surgery would remove them.

Still the chain held. All the way down, right down to the penis. Did you know, the smallest diameter part of the whole system is the end of the penis? I do. Oh, I do. It stuck. A magnetic lump of steel, a centimetre wide, stuck an inch from freedom. Locked behind my penile gates. The chain broke. Many times, the chain broke. But the blockage was so close to the end that, with care, it could be reattached. Only to break again.

Of note here is the pinching. I hope you do not know the pain of a thin layer of penile skin being pinched repeatedly between two powerful magnets. There was blood. Even now it throbs.

The end, however, was in sight. The magnet clump was out of the danger zone, the operation zone; it was in my penis. I could control it. I could win. And, with the help of a knife and a ballpoint pen lid, I did.

TL;DR: I'm not sure I'd advise sticking 74 magnets up your dick.

I assume this is a copypasta. I just want to know if somebody actually attached their actual name to it, or is it random internet apocrypha?

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I assume this is a copypasta. I just want to know if somebody actually attached their actual name to it, or is it random internet apocrypha?

Unfortunately, I do not have a Chubbyemu video about what happened to a Redditor's bladder after shoving 72 magnets up his dick. I do have an article with xrays, though.
A Redditor shoved 72 Buckyballs up his urethra. This is what happened to his brain.

Aside from his taking daily dexmethylphenidate for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, his past medical history was unremarkable

He could have had cancer as a baby and it'd be unremarkable compared to sticking magnets up his peehole.

 

[opie]

I'm pretty sure Justin Whang made a video on this

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

I'm pretty sure Justin Whang made a video on this

He has an appropriate name.

 

[Retard of the Month]

Here's my complete collection of sex toys.



EDIT: Aaaaaand I just realized this entire section of the forum is probably meant for women. (There's women here?)

 

[Aunt Carol]

EDIT: Aaaaaand I just realized this entire section of the forum is probably meant for women. (There's women here?)

You're wading knee-deep and going in; this subforum is thick and easy to get lost in..

This thread is mostly weird and laughable sex toys, with the occasional powerlevel.

Speaking of weird, I recently ran across a guy who does very long, in-depth pocket pussy reviews. Including an ear-themed onahole, Whisper of the Penis.

Japanese stuff is kind of cheating, though.

 

[Exceptional individualist]

Here's my complete collection of sex toys.

View attachment 4246087

EDIT: Aaaaaand I just realized this entire section of the forum is probably meant for women. (There's women here?)

Fat Fingers