Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

FakeNewsAnchor said:
Patrick is reminded of one of the lucky fellows to have escaped his grasp.
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Don't you know stalker child? Fried chicken is how Obeserick attracts all his victims pepperoni stockpiles. This child livestock would have been his greatest prize
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Sexy Senior Citizen said:
So when can Patrick expect the knock on his door?
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As soon as Quasi decides to conduct a debtor's exam, which should happen very shortly after the debt is officially localized in Wisconsin. He has been getting letters in the mail this whole time, but he will get "the knock" by a process server once the debtor's exam is officially scheduled.
 
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Associate Rick said:
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He's completely shameless, no wonder the section 8 tenants live in fear.
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His old fence was backwards too! Which makes me wonder...was it really his fence originally? Or was it his neighbor's fence (which means the old fence was facing the correct way) and through some mix-up he assumed it was his fence?
 
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AirdropShitposts said:
I looked, this is the first time Rick has ever mentioned attending an university on Twitter. 98% of his other many many many mentions of "university" are about Trump University. Including this triple child:
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His mentions of college are also mostly about the Electoral College, have some of Pat's wisdom about that, these are not even a quarter of these from before 2019, watch and marvel as Patirck's knowledge about the Electoral College goes from above 5th grade to college level to advanced-college level:
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Also, some of his bangers from like a decade ago, the guy's name is Dick Vitale btw:
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Plus this from 2015:
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Lastly:
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Apologies if all of this has been posted before, rating this post as late is felonious anxiety triggering and you are not allowed to do it. Do not contact this number again.
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Baby doll, I will call you anything, anywhere, straight to your dumbass face.
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Now, you can get a more respectful tongue in your mouth, or you can get kicked to the fucking curb.
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Rules for thee but not for me, huh, Pat?

Occasionally, just occasionally, I feel a twinge of sympathy for this obvious moron inadvertently ruining his own life, then I read shit like this and that feeling immediately evaporates. He is such an insufferably smug cunt.* Part of me hopes he talks to a woman like that in real life and she gives him a good slap, but part of me also worries for the innocent Wisconsinites that would be put in danger from the earthquake caused by him thumping to the ground like an enormous bag of cement.

*He is also fat.
 
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Maude Snew said:
Wait for the honk, child.
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Too bad Pat doesn't live in Ottawa.

Hey Fatrick FUCK YOU said:
As soon as Quasi decides to conduct a debtor's exam, which should happen very shortly after the debt is officially localized in Wisconsin. He has been getting letters in the mail this whole time, but he will get "the knock" by a process server once the debtor's exam is officially scheduled.
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Man I hope someone films it.
 
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Associate Rick said:
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He's completely shameless, no wonder the section 8 tenants live in fear.
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What the fuck are the random clumps of weeds he is apparently keeping intentionally?

Like god fucking damn, where was his dad when he was growing up? Why does a dude over forty continually fail at every small project? What would happen if he tried to change the oil in his own car, an explosion?
 
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SpergioLeonne said:
What the fuck are the random clumps of weeds he is apparently keeping intentionally?

Like god fucking damn, where was his dad when he was growing up? Why does a dude over forty continually fail at every small project? What would happen if he tried to change the oil in his own car, an explosion?
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Those are the mutant plants that managed to survive Rick literally salting the earth around his garden.
 
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S.C.U.D. said:
The Julays have wrapped up, and unfortunately, Piggy only got 3rd place for lolcow of the year. Poor Rick can't even win
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Come on! Credit when credit is due: Patrick did fantastic! He's a newbie but managed to go from a D-Tier lolcow to a place on the podium in a single year, ahead of many of the forum classical favorites. Not only that, the only people who beat Pat were:
  • A literal pornstar dickless tranny man who groomed and gave hormones to children and declared Jihad against the site and actually managed to get it out of the clearweb for a whole month!
  • Ralph.
I'm actually VERY proud of my boy. 8) From a fat baby who almost died from poison tit milk, to Prince of Lolcows! All hail the Fatman. Long may his arteries remain unclogged*!

* ... I know I know.. but just let me have this dream, ok?
Morte said:
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Patrick "Double D" Tomlinson
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Meanwhile, at cumtown.org...
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Congrats, Morte, your work is doing the rounds!

The Nubian Queen continues on showing the civilians the errors of their ways.
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Thankfully, unlike Pat, most people can learn from their mistakes.

Can you imagine getting humilhiated on such a regular basis you get three forums (maybe 4+ who knows at this point) dedicated to mocking you, 24/7? And still don't change a single thing about your life?
@Mr Moonface : I don't know if you won Best Contributor, but if you didn't, Null better recount those votes right now.
 
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S.C.U.D. said:
The Julays have wrapped up, and unfortunately, Piggy only got 3rd place for lolcow of the year. Poor Rick can't even win once!
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Rick on Twitter: "There is no such thing as a lolcow, these are your delusions"

Rick on Twitter Five Minutes Later: "My father toured the West Coast as a lolcow in Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters while my mother was in France supermodeling #dltiw"
 
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Warning: History autism ahead, beware. If you venture further, all bad ratings will constitute felony opinions. You WILL be neutralized, killed and then, sued.
In a post above commemorating Pat's sudden rise and his 3rd place in the Julay's, I called him Prince of Lolcows. After posting, I remembered that as a kid I read a book about the History of Spain, and one king's name in special made me laugh so much I never forgot it: Sancho The Fat.

A few minutes after kicking myself for never having made some joke about Pat using the king's nickname, I wondered if there were other monarchs with similarly funny/humiliating names, and I found this list: "History’s 25 Most Embarrassing Royal Nicknames".

The thing is, as I went through the entries, it suddenly dawned on me how many of those awful nicknames could easily be applied to Pat. The man just has ALL the bad characteristics a human can have, all at once! And each one of these by itself was bad enough that in some way it sullied a king's reputation. Seriosuly, see how many of these titles you could associate to one of Pat's many weakness/insecurities.
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I'mThePatMan! said:
Warning: History autism ahead, beware. If you venture further, all bad ratings will constitute felony opinions. You WILL be neutralized, killed and then, sued.
In a post above commemorating Pat's sudden rise and his 3rd place in the Julay's, I called him Prince of Lolcows. After posting, I remembered that as a kid I read a book about the History of Spain, and one king's name in special made me laugh so much I never forgot it: Sancho The Fat.

A few minutes after kicking myself for never having made some joke about Pat using the king's nickname, I wondered if there were other monarchs with similarly funny/humiliating names, and I found this list: "History’s 25 Most Embarrassing Royal Nicknames".

The thing is, as I went through the entries, it suddenly dawned on me how many of those awful nicknames could easily be applied to Pat. The man just has ALL the bad characteristics a human can have, all at once! And each one of these by itself was bad enough that in some way it sullied a king's reputation. Seriosuly, see how many of these titles you could associate to one of Pat's many weakness/insecurities.
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Apart from being "The Child", this reminds me of Pat because the statue looks like she's giving her baby away.
 
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