Okay so it’s like, 5:41 in the morning, I know that because I’m looking at the clock on my phone [inhale]. And [exhale], I had the weirdest dream and I have to tell you while it’s fresh in my memory because soon [inhale], it will be a distant memory unfortunately.
And I wanna remember these weird dreams. Cause I kinda wish that this one was real.
Alright? [inhale]
Umm [exhale], so I dreamed just now, is it dreamed or dreamt? Just forgive me cuz I’m a university English major dropout and I can’t remember the grammar rules? So I dreamed [exhale] that, I lived in Orleans, but Orleans has different areas, and I was walking down a very affluent area. Affluent for those who are not English majors is a rich area. Or wealthy area.
So I was walking down the road [inhale], and I was live-streaming [exhale], and, there were 369 people watching me total. And, there were big houses on either side, I was in the middle of the street and autumn leaves were falling all around me [
TEXT ON SCREEN: it was autumn but the trees were green] it was just a really idyllic setting and I was happy and I was so happy to be live-streaming with you guys, I’m so grateful. To have any kind of audienc- [
audio cuts off before she finishes the speaking the word, best editor ever goize] - But I was looking for… something interesting to stream for you guys, I was looking for content for you guys and I remember coming upon a house…
Oh hai Harry! My hamster just woke up, sorry he wants breakfast. I’ll make you some egg whites soon, alright.
[inhale]
So the house on the left, so we finally come upon a house [inhale] that just had all of these giant, giant mushrooms. Um giant mushroom slices, you know how you get them in the grocery store and they’re like, sliced already? [inhale] So like, I don’t know, somewhere- someone in heaven was pre-slicing mushrooms or something [inhale]. And, there was like a blessing on these houses, from God.
Alhamdulillah.
And, they were bleeding mushrooms, like these huge mushrooms were just continually coming out of the house and dropping down for people to eat, and the mushrooms- it was- uh there was like a fountain of melted butter, garlic butter, and seasonings.
On the mushrooms.
And I remember just like, touching a mushroom, and it felt like a mushroom! And I took a bite and it was like really good. It was like garlic butter mushrooms? [inhale]
And then we walked a bit further down. And the guy was like nowhere to be- like the homeowners were nowhere to be seen? [inhale] So I couldn’t ask them why their house was bleeding mushrooms.
So we keep walking down the street, annnnd there was another house, and it was crying cheese, like, the windows were crying cheese. Like- you know how houses, I’m sorry but houses look like faces sometimes to me. Annnd, especially if there’s like windows on either side of the nose of the house, like the door is the nose…
[inhale] or no the doors the mouth…
I guess it’s just implied that the house has a nose, I don’t know, they’re- you know what I mean, like you know how sometimes house windows look like they have eyes?
Okay.
So, theeeee house has eyes annnd, it was crying cheese. Like, just this
con-tin-you-al, constant stream of, whitish yellowish cheddar or might be cheddar, I don’t know,
chEEze, a fountain of cheese all over this house in Orleans.
[BIG exhale,
you can literally hear the saliva building up from her imagining cheese. A simple translation tells me that the word alsharuh mean glutton in Arabic.
]
And, I was like- and the owner was outside of this this time. The owner looked like one of the guys from- he looked like Alan Thicke, the homeowner looked like Alan Thicke and I felt like I was in like in episode of like Growing Pains or something. That kind of suburb? Was the feel- you know how dreams are feelings a lot of time, not just visual? And that’s the feeling I got so I’m trying to describe it and yes it’s gonna sound weird because of course it’s a dream.
Anyway I can’t believe I’m telling you this at five- 5:46 in the morning. Ugh… Anyway…
Alright [inhale], so. Alan Thicke is out front of his house crying cheese and he’s not getting hit with any cheese for some reason, the cheese is just like miraculously going around him, like Moses cutting the sea, or parting the red sea [inhale]. He was parting [exhale], I guess, the sea of cheddar I don’t know [inhale].
So he was [exhale], arms raised in the air in like, glory to God.
And I was like “Hey man why is your house crying cheese?” from the street. And I wanted to ask you guys cuz I knew you’d be curious. I saw Colleen, I saw Flop Era, I saw Blacks Chaos, I saw Aisha, Rhonda,
I saw all the beezers. (
not mentioning plain cheeseburger, sofa king, ashley lamborghini on purpose, probably lol)
Umm… all of you. Just. Talking at once, excitedly.
And Flop Era [laughs] being like “GO ASK THE GUY FOR THE CHEE-“ wha- [inhale] “GO ASK THE MAN IMMEDIATELY WHERE THE CHEESE COMES FROM.” [inhale] ... [exhale]
So whenever I asked that he said- [cut]
He was like “Praise be to God, in the scriptures, it says on judgement day the angels sent forth a river of cheese.” And I was like, oh my gosh- I felt in my heart, like closer to God. I know it sounds weird but it was like a feeling in my dream.
So then, I was very grateful that God was providing all this miracle food for people. So like the- it was like a river of cheese and then the homeowner had made all this bread. These nice wreaths of bread hanging from the trees, with sesame seeds, so I said “Oh my gosh goise, let’s get a wreath of bread!” And then [exhale], I took a wreath of bread and I went up to the homeowner and was like “Can I have sum of teh cheeze pleaze?”
[inhale] And another um daughter and mother were saying “Meywee have sum cheeze?”
So we had to follow him into the garage and wait there, and I said “Why do you think it was rai- crying cheeze? Do you think it’s really a miracle?”
And then they just kind of like ignored me as most people do 
[inhale] and then he came back with a little container that said “Farm Boy” on it and gave me shum cheeze and there was like for some reason two black olives in it.
So I left the hou- the garage and everyone was on the lawn [inhale] taking bread wreaths [exhale] and even though I already took one I said “Okay let’s get a bread wreath!” [inhale] Took a bread wreath, [exhale] that was like wrapped in grocery bags now for some reason [inhale]. Ehhh and I hit the road and… [exhale] I… [inhale] realized with much
dread as I was holding
bread
sorry I couldn’t help myself [inhale].
That I now had to worry about going back home and I didn’t know where I was and- but I knew [inhale] for certain that I was very far from home and that it wouldn’t be feasible to walk.
So for some reason I… end up my uncle’s house and I was like “Hey I’m here to share my bread and cheeze with you!” [inhale] [exhale &
gulps down accumulating saliva] Annnnd… for some reason my whole family ended up being there, because usually when we convene at my uncle’s it’s family gatherings and he used to live in Orleans so that makes sense [inhale]. So [exhale] I was there annnd I just… mentioned that I had to walk home and, like, everyone offered me a ride so, I was good. And then I just um… and then I’m sitting on the sofa at my uncle’s and his wife brings bowls of popcorn, and my sister is…
back to being like, 5 or 6, for some reason every time I dream about her [laughs] and… she starts eating the popcorn first and my mom was like “Hey did you thank” the name of my uncle’s wife “did you thank her for the popcorn?” So she said “Thank yew” with a mouth full of popcorn. And then… that’s when I woke up actually so now here I am telling you my dream [exhale] of the house that cried cheese.
Thank you...
Thank you very much
