Wew lad where to begin.
Firstly, thank God for the photographers of this event, because it's outside observers like them who are entirely unconcerned with furthering Ethan's retard cope that allow us to see the things he's most desperate to hide.
Like the obvious height disparity between Ethan and May.
Camera doesn't lie. Your horse is taller than you.
Not only that, but May's attempts to appease his short-dick ego are caught in 4K when they'd normally be cropped.
Any time you see May looking like she's about as tall as Ralph or even shorter than him, just know she's bending her knees below frame like she has rickets.
Hilarious too that Ralph is still wearing that cheap fucking ring despite it now being indisputable that it's causing him an allergic rash. Ethan is seemingly dead-set on wearing that retarded heirloom until it turns his finger green and rots it off.
I was going to comment that this continues the trend of Rozy never once being photographed smiling, but we hilariously also get pictures of her crying mid-ceremony and everyone dropping what they're doing to console her.
Ralph's been getting a lot of shit for the red shirt and sweatpants, and that is definitely trashy even by Vegas wedding standards, but I was ready to give it a pass simply because we all know by now that Ethan is way too fat for a suit. I
was going to give it a pass, but then I remembered that he made a huge deal about getting a suit "custom tailored" (X) for AFPAC 3 that he wore less than a year ago.
So from this we have a couple takeaways.
1. Ralph is such a frivolous retard that he'll throw a few hundred dollars away for a poorly tailored suit that he plans on wearing to exactly one event. Even then, he spent more time wearing
this tacky abomination instead.
2. He considers AFPAC a more important event to wear a suit to than his own wedding to May (reminder that he did wear a suit when he married Nora, but that's not too much of a surprise, given that he actually did love Nora and is only marrying May to spite Harry).
3. He thought bringing his bowling trophy to Mexico was more important than said suit alongside his
dead mother's ashes.
4. Ralph may well be too fat for that AFPAC suit now, or was bullied so mercilessly over it that he's quietly retired it out of shame.
Semper Fi to the photographers at the Vegas chapel. Because sometimes all you need to do to Alog Ethan is just show things for what they are and give him no space to cope.
