Hey Chels, hey you all. By the way, you look and sound fantastic for someone who is dying! You're speaking clearly, you're emotionally involved enough to be angry at trolls (newsflash: dying people don't care about that stuff, emotional disconnection is part of the dying process), you're as mentally all there as you were before this saga, which, admittedly, may not be saying much.
If you're serious about showing us all how wrong we are, here's what's going to happen -- it's going to take you a long time to die, probably upwards of two months. Starving yourself to death is immensely painful, which is why it's been used as a means of torture and passive execution since antiquity. Your hair will turn white, your skin will get flaky, and you'll bloat and swell. When things get really bad, you'll probably go blind. You'll be preoccupied with thoughts of food, so much that you won't be able to concentrate. But on the bright side, your addiction to ketamine won't matter as much because you'll want food and water so bad.
Maybe, if you're lucky, hospice might give you morphine to end it faster, but your family will have to feed it to you. Their nurses can't do it once you're home for legal reasons. I had to give my family members the fatal doses myself. Do you think your mom will be willing to do that for you? Or your sister?
her response is basically “I’ll wait until the end?” If you are actively dying, many people aren’t exactly aware of when that downhill slide starts and to think she’ll have that frame of mind between “stiff attacks” and hypoxia is downright laughable.
