حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%
  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%
  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%
  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%

  • Total voters
    954
Connor please upload this drawing. I would like to see it.

Suggestion: Stop using "Of all people", "Would you believe" and "I shit you not".
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MOLAY RINGWOOD OF ALL PEOPLE
If I were to make a list of all 7 billion-odd people alive today, ranked from most to least likely to be drawn by Connor, Molly would literally be number one.

Connor himself would be two.

@BOLDYSPICY! and @Smutley would probably be somewhere in the 3-10 range, but he'd draw them with the faces of people he hated in high school.
 
Oh, Connor studies alright. He studies Molly's body from head to toe, especially the belly button.
I wonder if @Connor Bible 's belly button fetish came from the fact that he spends all his time navel-gazing.

Connor please upload this drawing. I would like to see it.

Suggestion: Stop using "Of all people", "Would you believe" and "I shit you not".
View attachment 92352
@BOLDYSPICY! and @Smutley would probably be somewhere in the 3-10 range, but he'd draw them with the faces of people he hated in high school.
Given Connor's art skills, the picture of @Smutley & me would probably look like this:
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I call it "REDEVAGNING BOLDY!"

In all seriousness, Smutters would probably get immortalized in a drawing way before me.
 
I wonder if @Connor Bible 's belly button fetish came from the fact that he spends all his time navel-gazing.



Given Connor's art skills, the picture of @Smutley & me would probably look like this:
View attachment 92380
I call it "REDEVAGNING BOLDY!"

In all seriousness, Smutters would probably get immortalized in a drawing way before me.

The way you and Smutters are pictured makes me picture you two as Connor's disappointed internet parents. For a while, you tried to encourage him time and time again and actually believed in him, but like any petulant child he either spit on your efforts or just plain ignored them. And now all you can do is just sigh in disappointment as Connor constantly proves that, no, he has no intention of changing ever.

Also, now I'm picturing Null as the drunken grandpa who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks and so relentlessly pokes at Connor.
 
The way you and Smutters are pictured makes me picture you two as Connor's disappointed internet parents. For a while, you tried to encourage him time and time again and actually believed in him, but like any petulant child he either spit on your efforts or just plain ignored them. And now all you can do is just sigh in disappointment as Connor constantly proves that, no, he has no intention of changing ever.

Also, now I'm picturing Null as the drunken grandpa who doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks and so relentlessly pokes at Connor.
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Connor only does one class a semester, so how long have we known him, 3 years?

So he has only taken 3 classes.

@Connor Bible , why don't you make your life more active?

How many of those classes has he actually received credit for?
Because he failed/dropped at least one.
 
How many of those classes has he actually received credit for?
Because he failed/dropped at least one.

Connor has successfully passed two classes. He failed a remedial math course but passed it the second time, and he recently passed a creative writing course somehow despite his grammar and syntax being that of a seven year old.
 
Connor has successfully passed two classes. He failed a remedial math course but passed it the second time, and he recently passed a creative writing course somehow despite his grammar and syntax being that of a seven year old.
In my experience 'creative writing' classes tend to one of those course that people only take for free credits since it's so easy to pass and is effectively Connor-proof (assuming he actually turns things in on time which I think he is actually capable of when he has a hard, serious deadline from a position of authority).

For example I once had an art class in community college that worked like this and the teacher basically said, "if you put in something resembling effort and actually show up, you're guaranteed at least a B". I can only assume Connor's class operated in a similar way seeing as he'd be ripped to shreds in any kind of "serious" writing or literature course.

That said, I'd love to see a literature or writing professor comment on and proofread Redesigning Eva when it's finally finished like 30 years from now.
 
In my experience 'creative writing' classes tend to one of those course that people only take for free credits since it's so easy to pass and is effectively Connor-proof (assuming he actually turns things in on time which I think he is actually capable of when he has a hard, serious deadline from a position of authority).

For example I once had an art class in community college that worked like this and the teacher basically said, "if you put in something resembling effort and actually show up, you're guaranteed at least a B". I can only assume Connor's class operated in a similar way seeing as he'd be ripped to shreds in any kind of "serious" writing or literature course.

That said, I'd love to see a literature or writing professor comment on and proofread Redesigning Eva when it's finally finished like 30 years from now.
I'll be honest: you should probably kill yourself for writing this.

- Noam Chomsky, age 117
 

That title looks like a stylish transitional frame from the intro to a TV show. Like someone hit pause when the periodic table signs where whooshing up to spell out "breaking bad". He seems to think that novels are just static written accounts of movies or tv shows, like a wikipedia plot outline that stretches for 80,000 words.

Can anyone link me to the first draft of redesigning eva? i cant seem to find it.
 
Have we talked about why Connor has this thing about youth? Eva is in high school. Alphaboy is, well, a boy. One of the three named novel drafts he's totally going to finish over the summer is about a boy called Wolf. It's reminding me oddly of CWC's imagined meeting with Jerry Seinfeld, and subsequent routine in which imagined-Seinfeld talks about having met an autistic "boy." Occam's Razor says it's only because he hasn't had anything like adult experiences in life, but I wonder if he's just not able to picture himself growing up. It would explain the hell out of the glacial pace of his education. /random musing
 
Have we talked about why Connor has this thing about youth? Eva is in high school. Alphaboy is, well, a boy. One of the three named novel drafts he's totally going to finish over the summer is about a boy called Wolf. It's reminding me oddly of CWC's imagined meeting with Jerry Seinfeld, and subsequent routine in which imagined-Seinfeld talks about having met an autistic "boy." Occam's Razor says it's only because he hasn't had anything like adult experiences in life, but I wonder if he's just not able to picture himself growing up. It would explain the hell out of the glacial pace of his education. /random musing

Connor is mentally about fourteen and takes the old write what you know adage very seriously.
 
This is gunna be a productive summer break y'all!
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Oh :(
"What's on your mind right now"
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In Connor's world, one of the most terrible fates is becoming a successful millionaire writer who is sold in airport book stores
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Does his drama teacher know about his lustings?
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:sighduck:
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