Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dave.]

Leaving this world isn't as scary as it sounds.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

This might actually just be Jack's first heart attack and Garrett is thinking of the number of strokes he's had. Which would also be the wrong number.

Garrett is a complete frybag and prob doesn't remember he went on vacation with the family a couple years ago lol.

Garrett's only chance of avoiding his birthright curse is to hope that the wendigo needs physical proximity when its time to make the jump.

 

[GeorgeHWBush]

holy shit its the 11 year anniversary of the party cheese salad, and jack is in icu
spooky

WHAT? I didn’t even notice the date WTF lmfao. I just though “oh Jack is dying, I remember this video and his delicious undercooked raw chicken”.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Confirmed by Jacks mother in law.
With an update 9 hours later.

View attachment 4345076View attachment 4345072

Sure, you dumb bint, it's always Gods healing power and not the plethora of nurses and doctors which right now are working their asses off to save the life of a fat slob who has done nothing in the last decades to stay at least a little bit on the healthy side.

Also mandatory:

 

[Suburban Bastard]

Aww damnit my death pool missed by one year
Honestly, this is one of my favorite threads on the forum and probably the first I got addicted to, I hope he pulls through for the sake of the ride going on a little longer.
That being said, what the fuck were you thinking was going to happen Jack? He refused to change his habits after 2 strokes, the latter permanently destroying his arm (damage which he could’ve reversed to a degree if he went to treatment like normal but decided to pray to god instead)
It’s like God himself yelled strike 1, strike 2 like an umpire, and hell you might be out this time.
What’s depressing and simultaneously funny, is that if Jack pulls through, you know damn well he’s not going to change, because if his dead weight arm forever taunting him couldn’t what would?

Pull through Jack

 

[Bloitzhole]

(Very late but)
He can't keep getting away with it!

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

The man deserves to die for every choice and decision he's made in his life, most of which seem to have happened in the kitchen. He has brought this entirely down upon himself, and is only living the consequences of his actions.

I still don't want the fat fuck to die though, I want to see him pull through and try to make some valentines chocolate this year. My vote was on 5th impact crippling him further. While losing the other arms function would be the great irony, my hope would be more mobility related. The only thing that could truly hurt the wendigo's soul and make him reconsider what he's done is making JOTG even more difficult, and forcing him to try and recreate some more fast food at home could be fun to watch.

I would say "godspeed you magnificent bastard" but accelerating jacks sheer mass to any appreciable speed is an environmental crime in progress, so I'll instead just remind him that the food in hell is naught but bottled soylent and the food in heaven is mostly vegetables for a balanced diet. This is not the road you wish to walk Jack, there is no salvation for you on the other side. Stay with us.

 

[BurntBlinis]

Jack dying while having learnt nothing at this point is going to be waste of time being alive. Blundering through life like a blind, voracious and ill tempered animal and, dead without knowing why.
Let him pull through this please, much better if he is mute after this so nobody has to hear his shit remarks.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

RIP (unless he's a piece of shit)

 

[She Brings The Rain]

I'll take my lates if this has already been mentioned, I'm still catching up, but I think the "second heart attack" is for the grandfather/whichever lives in Cali with the other son. We'd have heard if Jack had a heart attack.

I want this fucker to pull through, if only because he's a living, breathing testament to the strength of the wendigo.

I promise virgins and underage waifus if Jack lives inshallah.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

Goddamnit, I'm still halfway through 2022 trying to catch up on his retardation because I had shit to do for the past year, and now's the moment his ticker decides to give out.

Don't die on us Jagg, you've got so much more to give and be mocked for.

 

[Reotardo da Vinci]

Sheeeeit. I will keep him on my mind, I hope he doesn’t die, the big goof.

 

[Goatchoker]

God dammit. He better live. I need more jack footage of terrible food.

 

[Stasi]

Bummer, this is unironically one of my favourite threads and I hope he pulls through so we keep seeing his ridiculous culinary atrocities.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I don't feel bad for Jack, but I feel bad for his family having to pay his hospital debts. No one deserves to lose a loved one (even if he sucks), and also have their bills. I hope he survives so they're only stuck with the bill.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

While I feel for his family as losing a loved one sucks, they have to realize that he brought this on himself. Second heart attack, multiple strokes, diabetes, high blood pressure. All of these things were warning signs that he needed to change his lifestyle but he couldn't give up the fatty processed foods that he loved. So he's got nobody to blame but himself.

Sure I don't want him to die because that means no more fun but I wouldn't shed a tear if he died either.

 

[Tiresome]

At any rate, I hope they lower the coffin in on its side so that the grave can taste the meat first.

 

[ZipDisk]

is for the grandfather

Garret Bong implied this is Jack's second infarction, and that the Grandfather is suffering from COPD complications.
It doesn't help that he calls Jack "Pops" and his grandfather "Papa".

Tiresome: Holy shit. You're the undertaker. I thought the 4chan coffin with jack theme was brutal, but you BODIED it.

 

[Throwing Romans]

I don't feel bad for Jack, but I feel bad for his family having to pay his hospital debts. No one deserves to lose a loved one (even if he sucks), and also have their bills. I hope he survives so they're only stuck with the bill.

the burial costs for a casket that large might hit them hard as well.

 

[Tiresome]

the burial costs for a casket that large might hit them hard as well.

If you've been wiping a flesh-boulder's ass twice a day for years, you'd pay anything to finally put it in the ground.