Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

Even in his time of dying, seething /ck/ jannies are deleting his threads. When will they accept he is the one true king of that board?

4chan jannies are subhuman fucks who should be Aktion-T4'ed off the planet.

 

[Burd Turglar]

I'm absolutely shocked that he might die. SHOCKED I SAY!

Seriously though, I hope that if he pulls through, top men will study how this fat retard has survived so much. Pfizer could make a killing on the salmonella vaccines they make outa him.

 

[AnOminous]

Not to mention, Hamlin had a team of trained professionals begin CPR and give him oxygen within about a minute.

Not just that but top-notch sports doctors. I seriously doubt most doctors would have even recognized something incredibly rare like commotio cordis or known what to do about it. Jack had Tamplanet, someone stupid enough to marry him.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Garrett's not gay, he's just really into the evil marihuana and cryptobro stuff.

It's also well established, from my own experience in particular, that anti-vaxxer types are paranoid about anything related to hospitals and treatment. They'll refuse medical advice because they think the doctors are trying to kill them to get payouts from drug companies. We already know Jack has walked out of the ER against advice before, and has never been compliant with his post-care treatment plans (that's why his arm isn't just weak but completely dead).

From what little I've seen of Jack, he acts like a parody of a mid-2000s right-wing boomer, with actually believing and acting like all the awful ways they paint it as. Besides attacking his own son just for smoking weed, there was another story where the pastor was talking about the Israeli/Palestine conflict and talked about bombing Palestine (or something along those lines), and without a hint of irony, Jack said something like "Wow, where do I sign up?"

 

[AnOminous]

Isn't that Garrett, the one who's gay and Jack beat him for it and kicked him out?

It's Jack Jr. who is a homosexual pedophile.

 

[Gentlebastard]

As much as people on this site would enjoy it, if Jack does pass away, leave his family in peace. No one deserves to have their period of mourning interrupted by someone looking for Internet clout.

Lolcowish as the remaining Scalfanis might be, I don't think anyone here hates them enough to go after them ().

There's some background contempt for Tammy, a few horrifying expectations for Jr and his predilection for young boys, Garrett has distanced himself so much from the family that he's barely an afterthought, and his brothers are practically forgotten for the purposes of this thread. Brianna gets some amortized pity from willingly binding herself to those lunatics, andt that's about it.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Even if he does pull through this somehow, if he again learns nothing from this, I give him another year and that will be the end of it. There are only so many stokes and heart attacks a 350lb manlet who doesn't take care of himself can take.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Damn, I know he's an atrocious cook but I would never wish that upon him.
I could pray for his family.

 

[fedoralordjish]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wfYIMyS_dI

 

[darksydephil]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon

 

[fedoralordjish]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon
View attachment 4350477

god smiles upon his cooking

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Even if he does pull through this somehow, if he again learns nothing from this, I give him another year and that will be the end of it. There are only so many stokes and heart attacks a 350lb manlet who doesn't take care of himself can take.

Don't worry, the poll will reflect that soon.

 

[Chihiro]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon
View attachment 4350477

looks like @AnOminous posting this in Community Watch last night saved him.

 

[captkrisma]

Death only comes to those who's goose is fully cooked.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon
View attachment 4350477

Damn, I already feared the worst with all the Jesus posting. Good to know that the ride is not over yet.

 

[Cr1ms0n_&_C10v3r]

I don't check this thread much nowadays because with Jack it's always the same old shit. I do hope he doesn't go to the great Church Chili Competition in the sky just yet though - I'm still waiting for a sequel to Party Cheese Salad.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Looking forward to the Draugr Jack saga. What will he blame this time for his misfortune?

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

What if this heart attack magically makes him suddenly enjoy eating vegetables and portion sizes but he acts like those were always his favorites?

 

[fedoralordjish]

he didn't change one bit

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

jack isn't dead, he's doing good expect an update soon
View attachment 4350477

I’m not convinced. The same situation happened in my family recently. The wife would insist her husband was talking and following commands. He was not. People see what they want to see sometimes and repeating words with no awareness or context is not the same as talking. It dragged out for two agonizing months, complicated by religion when it shouldn’t have.

For example, someone breathing on their own but otherwise being pumped full of meds and unable to swallow, follow commands etc does not mean it’s a recovery.