The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[retard strength]

Will the existence of the Alpaca Mass Graves be disclosed to potential land buyers? The stench may not be a giveaway that it exists since I'm assuming any of the bank's inspectors will already be overwhelmed by the smell of (what's left of) the home during foreclosure.

Also I'm positive what their "rehoming" plan is for most of the alpaca, but I really sincerely hope they do, for once in their lives, put in an ounce of effort to try to actually rehome their cat and dog hoard. Trannies overburdening their local humane societies is an achievable outcome, Colorado can handle it.

 

[OrionBalls]

The only feasible solution to get any profit is to just kill all the alpacas. If I were the tranchers I'd do multiple livestreams over time complete with helmet gopro and take donations while (humanely) fragging the miserable animals. "If we reach a hundred dollars this stream I'll see how many calves the 50 cal can go through." would be a hell of a seller. Having meat fridges full of alpaca meat could also spark alpaca-food cooking videos similar to OrdinarySausage's gimmick.
Then again not being a retarded tranny is probably why I can be creative with my depravity.

I don't recommend eating parasite ridden meat.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Will the existence of the Alpaca Mass Graves be disclosed to potential land buyers? The stench may not be a giveaway that it exists since I'm assuming any of the bank's inspectors will already be overwhelmed by the smell of (what's left of) the home during foreclosure.

No idea how it works in the US, but where I live you have to disclose if you buried a larger animal like a dog on the property - I assume that's why Boner is doing his whole "I know where the bodies are buried" schtick; he's trying to get them to pay for the clean up at least, but of course they'll just bolt from that destroyed piece of land.

 

[Bob_]

The only feasible solution to get any profit is to just kill all the alpacas. If I were the tranchers I'd do multiple livestreams over time complete with helmet gopro and take donations while (humanely) fragging the miserable animals. "If we reach a hundred dollars this stream I'll see how many calves the 50 cal can go through." would be a hell of a seller. Having meat fridges full of alpaca meat could also spark alpaca-food cooking videos similar to OrdinarySausage's gimmick.
Then again not being a retarded tranny is probably why I can be creative with my depravity.

If you haven't gruesomely murdered some poor animals yet you've definitely jerked off to thoughts of doing it.

 

[GenderCop]

My grandmother told us you know the morality of ppl by how they treat children and animals.
Bikers and gang members (etc) are supposed to be bad, but have no interest in abusing either one.

And the trannies can't wait to abuse kids & animals, they are first on the list. Proof of their ongoing evil and derangement.

The dregs of Western Civ.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

“The animals are being rehomed”

They’re 100% dead.

Do you think it's possible to rehome the alpacas without any outside attention at this point? Its so unfair they have to die while the troons live.

Just wanted to give everyone here is the history lesson about how the tranch got 200+ alpakies who would be pushing up daisies if the ground was fertile enough to even allow daisies to grow.

The ranch started off with under 100 animals, presumably bought from places you buy alpacas.

The story a penny gave was; a couple who had another alpaca ranch of a similar size were retiring but needed somewhere to house the animals.
Penny made it sound like that they were the only people who would offer to take in the animals and without the ranch the alpacas would’ve been destroyed.
Penny also said that they were the only two ranches in town who did alpacas. it used to be more popular but I think Tenacious unicorn ranch were the only Alpaca
game on their side of the valley.
The couple were grateful and they gave them a shipping container worth of hay that should last a year (which they use to line the floors of the barn with, getting shit and piss all over it so the alpacas wouldn’t eat it without getting diseases)

I really doubt those alpacas are getting rehomed unless another retarded trans activist decides to buy a ranch and wants to house exotic animals in it… don’t forget the alpacas are technically an exotic animal and most ranches are not designed to care for them (neither was the tranch).

I would make a crass joke about Penny using them as target practice, but I honestly don’t believe that he can afford the amount of bullets he would need to successfully kill all of them, especially since they all seem to use meme guns that have rare exotic ammo.

Press F for da packies, P for the tranch.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

Why can't communists ever run a successful commune? Even a small one within a stable and successful society they can fall back on and even with free GoFunMe gibs? I'm starting to think communists might just be really, really, fucking stupid.

People that rely on others to take care of them
cannot
Contribute to the care of others

A collection of net-negatives, just results in a greater negative

 

[Meriasek]

Will the existence of the Alpaca Mass Graves be disclosed to potential land buyers? The stench may not be a giveaway that it exists since I'm assuming any of the bank's inspectors will already be overwhelmed by the smell of (what's left of) the home during foreclosure.

Also I'm positive what their "rehoming" plan is for most of the alpaca, but I really sincerely hope they do, for once in their lives, put in an ounce of effort to try to actually rehome their cat and dog hoard. Trannies overburdening their local humane societies is an achievable outcome, Colorado can handle it.

Potential buyers will just be told that the barren land has been organically refertilized.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

Dharma? LOL. Nice cultural appropriation, Mister Cro-Magnon Brow With Stripey Programmer Stockings. Sure, I'll listen to some Tennessee hillbilly -- whose only accomplishment at transitioning is perfecting the AGP smirk -- share his deep thoughts on how cool Phil is and how evil Mandozer is.

Goddamn, why do these extreme cross-dressers gotta be so fucking ugly and manly? And so terrible at cross-dressing?

 

[HackerX]

Ahahaha "they've been informed" is a beautiful piece of hubris. Bonnie assumed the troon shield was what was keeping the tranch going and he'd destroyed it with his expose.

He's starting to realise it's what we realised a while back - no matter how well documented the Tranch's animal abuse is, the State of Colorado doesn't really care what a bunch of weirdos in the middle of nowhere do to a herd of innocent alpaca.

He's not getting that photo finish of him standing on a rocky outcrop looking down on the Tranch as Penny is torn to shreds, the glow of vengeance illuminating Bonnie's cat eye glasses. Instead the Tranchers will slink off to another farm and be fine while Bonnie is left on the hook for the mortgage for a pile of rotting alpaca, and Twitter either doesn't care or blames him.

Sic semper tyroonis

He's also probably coming off as a deranged lunatic in his portrayal because he 100% is not including details that would obviously implicate him. Self-preservation is why Paul is losing the PR war, since anyone with a lick of sense would notice the story isn't cohesive.

If there's one thing I've learned from watching police interrogations on the electric Jew, narrating a story that conveniently exonerates yourself from wrongdoing does the exact opposite of what you want.

 

[AfghanBlue]

One thing I'd like to say is with the alpacas I've heard you can balance out the cost of their feed and care by collecting and selling their manure- it's kinda gross, but alpaca manure doesn't need to be aged like other manure and since they like to poop in the same areas it's a little easier to gather. It's also supposed to be really good for growing, but I've not tested it myself yet so I can't confirm that. Mix it with some potting soil and other nutrients and package it up cute you'd probably be able to sell it at a local farmer's market or to other farmers in the area fairly easily, especially with the price of fertilizer right now. For that reason alone I've considered having a small herd of alpacas, nothing crazy, and excess manure can easily be used for your own crops and garden. Waste not, want not, yada yada. I don't understand why they didn't try selling the manure, unless they think that's something dainty ladies like themselves shouldn't have to do. There's countless little old ladies with gardens and flowerbeds who're willing to pay extra to keep their plants healthy and fruitful.

Animals have to eat in order to shit

 

[Astyanax Skamandrios]

Someone lives in Dorothea Puente's house in Sacramento.

Dude! Have you seen "Murder House Flipping". Her house was the first 3 episodes.

 

[BiggerChungus]

Just wait until whoever's unlucky enough to buy the former Tranch discovers Kevin's used diaper collection.

 

[White Devil]

I would make a crass joke about Penny using them as target practice, but I honestly don’t believe that he can afford the amount of bullets he would need to successfully kill all of them, especially since they all seem to use meme guns that have rare exotic ammo.

5.7 isn't rare, it's not even exotic. The only reason it's so expensive is because only a handful of guns on the market even take that ammunition and civilians don't have access to the armor piercing variant that it's originally designed to be.

I'll take my puzzle pieces.

 

[Complete Reprobate]

BIG PAUL! IGNORE THIS AT YOUR PERIL!​

Paul, my boy, I like to think of myself as a patient man, but you are really wearing me thin here. I extend to you an olive branch, and you ignore me. Now that all of your tranny 'friends' have turned their gigantic backs on you, I once again extend my offer. Be the bigger man, and sliiiiide into my DM's with the KiwiFarms account that I know you have (don't think I don't know about it, you scamp!)

A quick disclaimer - I will need to know where the mass graves are, in order to avoid drilling for oil there.

Last chance, big fella! If not here, I'll see your disgusting little patch of land at the tax auction, where I WILL buy the debt, and then you'll OWE me money, as opposed to getting money FROM me.

Tick tock my friend, tick tock!

 

[Bridget]

This is Tenacious Unicorn Ranch. They say it's the biggest alpaca death camp
in colorado. I used to work here. Well...I was really a slave. Like all
the others.

That's me! My name is Bonnie. I WAS employee of the year. Now I'm dead
meat. I crossed the meanest boss in the world: Penny the toothless.

My whole life changed in just one day. I was working late one night
at TUR.

We used to make Alpaca wool
Until the alpaca were through
We still made Go Fund Mes
And we made some good documentaries too
I thought I had a good job
But that was before I knew
How we'd make the alpaca bodies disappear
I was still to find
The truth, it turned out
Now THAT would blow my mind

The Trannies were scared
'Cause donations were grim
Field troons and handmaidens
Had been turning up thin
But Penny was cool
He had a plan

This new kind of meat - it was alpaca!

I just had to escape
I just needed pussy
And I didn't even know
She had BPD
So...GET ME OUTTA HERE!!

I haven't seen anyone else reference Oddworld in a decade, based.

 

[KonradCruise]

Total Cletus Victory.

 

[pikachudidnothingwrong]

So this is how it ends? The alpacocaust! When times get tough, retards do tend to come up with "solutions" like such.

 

[GumballFapper]

They probably injected estrogen into alpacas to turn them trans

 

[Colonel Slanders]

I don't feel the least bit sorry for those stupid greasy retarded animals. They should have known that they were doomed from the moment they set foot on the tranch. I'm glad it's over and good riddance to the lot of them.

I feel sorry for the Alpaca though. They're innocent victims in all this.