- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
[Late to the party because the forum isn't displaying properly on my phone these days.]
Yes, if you have ADHD, it can be more difficult to keep track of what ingredients you have on hand; to not impulsively overbuy certain perishable foods (especially produce); and to menu-plan in order to avoid waste and always have something on hand that you can eat. It is not, however, impossible (or I wouldn't be doing it).
I've sperged at length on other threads about how throwing up one's hands and saying, "Can't do that; I've got ADHD!" is fake and gay and a total cop-out, especially when it's as basic a task as keeping your dumb ass fed. No. The fact is, she's decided she doesn't want to do it, and hasn't made it a priority that she can get obsessed with and train her ADHD hyperfocus upon. And as long as there are people around to enable her eating readymade crapfood, and too much of it, and who will assure her that the consequences (be they physical, social/romantic, or financial) are totally not her fault, she'll keep on eating whatever low-effort thing will give her a reliable dopamine hit, and getting fatter, and wonder why she never has any money.
Okay, this one, who defends living in a readymade "meal" household because living in an "ingredient" household is just too much for her non-neurotypical, ADHD brain to cope with, needs to STFU.
Yes, if you have ADHD, it can be more difficult to keep track of what ingredients you have on hand; to not impulsively overbuy certain perishable foods (especially produce); and to menu-plan in order to avoid waste and always have something on hand that you can eat. It is not, however, impossible (or I wouldn't be doing it).
I've sperged at length on other threads about how throwing up one's hands and saying, "Can't do that; I've got ADHD!" is fake and gay and a total cop-out, especially when it's as basic a task as keeping your dumb ass fed. No. The fact is, she's decided she doesn't want to do it, and hasn't made it a priority that she can get obsessed with and train her ADHD hyperfocus upon. And as long as there are people around to enable her eating readymade crapfood, and too much of it, and who will assure her that the consequences (be they physical, social/romantic, or financial) are totally not her fault, she'll keep on eating whatever low-effort thing will give her a reliable dopamine hit, and getting fatter, and wonder why she never has any money.
If you have ADHD, you're brain's like a roaring ocean of chaos, punctuated by islands of relative calm and focus. Some of those islands may have always been there--the one where you make art, or write code, or fix cars, or garden, or perform surgery, or whatever. It's the stuff you're genuinely interested in, and can easily get into a flow state while doing it.
But some of those islands? You have to dredge them up from the seafloor and build them from scratch. They take a while to build, because you've got that ocean of chaos to contend with, and lots of distractions that seem more fun, and there will be times when it feels like you've taken two steps forward just to take three steps back, but if you've decided it's worth it, really want to, and don't give up, you can do it. Those islands are things like always putting your keys in the same place when you arrive home so you don't lose them; feeding/medicating your pets on a consistent schedule; adhering to a filing and bookkeeping system so you don't lapse into chaos; developing strategies so you can always arrive on time when you need to--and preparing your own food so you can save money, eat better, and actually enjoy better mental functioning (a good diet won't cure ADHD, but, in my experience, a shitty diet will make things worse, so it was totally worth it to turn shopping for groceries, menu planning, cooking, and food preservation into an island-building project).
Dealing with "ingredients" is hard for her because she hasn't found a compelling reason to want it to be easy. On top of that, there are plenty of people and companies out there who are more than happy to tell her that of course it's hard, and that always buying "meals" to keep herself fed is totally fine, and that it's okay to place blame on her ADHD, as if it's a permanent, indestructible barrier that can't be worked around or dug under or negotiated with.
But some of those islands? You have to dredge them up from the seafloor and build them from scratch. They take a while to build, because you've got that ocean of chaos to contend with, and lots of distractions that seem more fun, and there will be times when it feels like you've taken two steps forward just to take three steps back, but if you've decided it's worth it, really want to, and don't give up, you can do it. Those islands are things like always putting your keys in the same place when you arrive home so you don't lose them; feeding/medicating your pets on a consistent schedule; adhering to a filing and bookkeeping system so you don't lapse into chaos; developing strategies so you can always arrive on time when you need to--and preparing your own food so you can save money, eat better, and actually enjoy better mental functioning (a good diet won't cure ADHD, but, in my experience, a shitty diet will make things worse, so it was totally worth it to turn shopping for groceries, menu planning, cooking, and food preservation into an island-building project).
Dealing with "ingredients" is hard for her because she hasn't found a compelling reason to want it to be easy. On top of that, there are plenty of people and companies out there who are more than happy to tell her that of course it's hard, and that always buying "meals" to keep herself fed is totally fine, and that it's okay to place blame on her ADHD, as if it's a permanent, indestructible barrier that can't be worked around or dug under or negotiated with.
As Gen-Xer latchkey kids, growing up in an "ingredients" household, and waiting for our mom to get home from work? Grilled cheese sandwiches. Quesadillas. PB&Js. Cinnamon toast. Hard-boiled eggs. Pickles. Popcorn (made on the stove, in a pot, because microwave popcorn back then was gross). Leftovers that weren't earmarked for that night's dinner. Cans of soup. Bread and butter. Peanut butter or cream cheese in a stalk of celery. A microwaved baked potato. I could go on. And we never thought that was wrong, or that we were deprived at all.
I'm convinced she is subsidized by wealthy parents. She's an okay, but not-great singer, if that video is representative of her talent, so she's not making a living (not in NYC) at that. There's no way her "modeling" gigs pay for a decent apartment in a building that allows her to paint her walls chartreuse, and the car? How the fuck does she afford that? The Bank of Mom and Dad is the most obvious choice; given her spoiled attitude and disconnect from reality, I don't see her stooping to worka normie job, or holding one for very long if she does.
I know a woman whose autistic teenage son has ARFID, and it's been a long nightmare until fairly recently. That this fat cow claims to have it--no. Just no.
