Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
After the low-key scam he pulled on Briana's GoFundMe, his is going to be madness. Every possible permutation of Nick Gurr, Sam O'Nella, and Meat Marine will be there. And he'll deserve it. I am convinced he was hoping to raise 20k through his scam so that he could hide the fact that he only put in $20 of his own money. Briana would have to fawn over Jack if he gave her $15k.
 
I am not too familiar with the American Healthcare system (lol)

But how does that work in that case, is he/she covered? Where those previous adventures to the ICU also covered? Would the Insurance look at this guy & say "dude, you had 2-3 Strokes before and you still kept this Lifestyle. Go fuck yourself."?
How fucked are they?
There are too many unknowns in their situation to say for sure, but I can say that US healthcare is about as autistic as it gets. Premiums creep higher for less and less coverage. Pharma companies are allowed to advertize directly to patients, and there is tremendous revenue incentive (and government subsidy incentive) to keep people sick instead of curing them. Even people who style themselves as being socially aware are often quite uninformed as to the actual web of influence and lies that prop the whole thing up. We pay five to ten times what other developed countries pay for third-world outcomes.

Now, Jack himself won't be penalized too much for being a fat worthless fuck, BUT over time, the premiums for his medical demographic will begin to trend upward. The price is influenced by the overall health of the customer pool, but those prices are spread around to maintain the fascade of affordability (even with employee-provided health coverage, you are still looking at several hundred per month out of pocket).

As far as actual finances, most states, including Tennessee, have quite generous bankruptcy protections, particularly as it pertains to medical debt, which is so pervasive, it has to be treated as a special case. Even credit score modeling is starting to account for it.
 
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It's clear to me at this point that God and/or Satan just plain don't want Jack's cooking anywhere near Heaven and/or Hell.
This made me think of one of the first (and probably the most iconic) Hellblazer arcs, Dangerous Habits. In it, heaven's forces were not interested in saving John Constantine's life from terminal lung cancer, and he had engineered his death in such a way that it would cause an apocalyptic civil war in hell at that point in time. To avoid the celestial victory, the three rulers of hell, each of which had a claim on Contantine's soul, agreed on a truce and healed him so that they could sort things out among themselves.

I see Jack in a similar position: he has done just enough lip service to earn the indifference of those he seeks to please, but his acts have secured his place as a desired prize among warring consorts (pride/vanity, greed, gluttony, envy, wrath, sloth) who do not want to give up on such an exquisitely tainted soul.

Damn, it's been a long while since my comic collection saw the outside of a cardboard box, and I think I know where I might start airing them. Thanks, Jack!
 
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Do we think it's Tammy posting on his twitter account? I doubt he would be able to manipulate a phone let alone type a coherent tweet at this point.
That would imply either that she gives a shit about Jack's social media presence, or that Jack is conscious and despite being on death's door, is so concerned about the haters instead of whether he lives or dies that he forced her to go on Twitter and lie for him.
 
That would imply either that she gives a shit about Jack's social media presence, or that Jack is conscious and despite being on death's door, is so concerned about the haters instead of whether he lives or dies that he forced her to go on Twitter and lie for him.
I assume she still wants those sweet sweet youtube dollars. Whoever tweeted also mentioned going on tour which leads me to be they would have a financial incentive to tweet.
 
That would imply either that she gives a shit about Jack's social media presence, or that Jack is conscious and despite being on death's door, is so concerned about the haters instead of whether he lives or dies that he forced her to go on Twitter and lie for him.
It's got to be somebody other than Jagoff posting. He uses speech to text and if he's really at death's door as they imply his voice is going to be weak. Besides if he's posting to social media it can't be all that bad now can it?
 
I assume she still wants those sweet sweet youtube dollars.
According to SocialBlade, on a best case scenario, Jack on the Go makes ~200 dollarydoos a month, and Cooking With Jack brings in something in the vicinity of 2k/mo. 26-7k/year is nothing to sneeze at, especially at the low, low cost of a few weekly angyposts on social media.
 
I don't really follow Jack but what's the origin of the wendigo meme?
The exaggerated manner in which he eagerly bites into meat has led some to speculate that there is a malicious spirit in control of his body.

Realistically, Jack is a closeted homosexual who uses food as a substitute for inhaling cock 24/7.
 
Does anyone have any guess on what slop will bring him down for good? I actually don't think it'll be any sort of food born illness. Or even a meat honestly. I think he's gonna die from choking on something like a chicken bone. Slurping the meat off of a wing by himself shirtless and accidentally sucks to hard and it gets stuck. Either that he'll go out like the King, on the shitter.
Honestly him having another heart attack or stroke while trying to pinch one off, I could see. I remember years ago hearing some RN at a hospital say that people, especially old people die on the toilet all the time because theres a lot of physical stress. And I mean he doesnt have a decent diet so I doubt hes getting enough fiber.
 
Honestly him having another heart attack or stroke while trying to pinch one off, I could see. I remember years ago hearing some RN at a hospital say that people, especially old people die on the toilet all the time because theres a lot of physical stress. And I mean he doesnt have a decent diet so I doubt hes getting enough fiber.
Jack figures that all the grease he consumes will cause the stool to just slide right out.
 
he will probably die shitting.
Think we'll get pics?:tomgirl:

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Shitting is a killer. I bet 80% of fatties die while taking a shit.
Die with dignity people....dont be fat.
Lot's of people die shitting. They blow a blood vessel in their brain and just go.
Watched a police documentary recently and there is at least one unnoticed toilet death every other episode, mostly old people btw.
 
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