Snowflake Jack Monroe / Melissa "Mel" Hadjicostas / Jack Xatzinikolas / @BootstrapCook - Spaghetti hoop rinser who wants to live like Common People, the face of poverty in Britain, literally can't lie

Was going to move it out of PG but someone else beat me to it. Onwards, to open waters!
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Hats off, you're @Pineapple Fox 's problem now! But seriously, good OP and very well received so far. Going to give it a deep read to some food later
 
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So glad this cluster B mega cunt has a thread.

Where do we stand on posting the address? I know this is going to be considered a dumb question but I really want to know what you all think.

Yay:
  • She's been living in a very nice, expensive property for 4 years, mostly on her own. She has frequently acted like this place is a working-class hovel when in fact it's very expensive and in a nice area. This would prove her lying.
  • It also disproves her endless bullshit about struggling to make ends meet, while in reality she's choosing to rent a a big posh house.
  • She has pretty much self-doxed anyway with the amount of images she puts online.
  • It will not affect her son, as he doesn't live with her.
  • I think sharing such information is within site rules.
Nay:
  • The property is rented, and if her recent tales are to be believed, she is due to move out in February. So this may affect the next residents. (And maybe the landlady)
  • Jack loves nothing more than to feel victimised, and posting her address would give her plenty of fodder to cry about (Including her imaginary stalkers).
Also available is the address of her childhood home. Her parents also pretty much self-doxed in the local media. Jack has claimed that she grew up in a two-up, two-down, and also in a flat that was so tiny that these days it would be legally unfit for habitation (or something like that). In reality, little miss Working Class grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house, where her parents still live. They have lived there since the early 90's.
 
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I found out that she has some recipe called banana peel pancakes. I’m intrigued, both by how insane this sounds and just how crap the instructions are, as usual. She doesn’t even specify how ripe the bananas are supposed to be. Great start. I have some ripe bananas that I need to peel anyway, so if I feel up to it I’ll do it.

Adrenochrome Dreams said:
So glad this cluster B mega cunt has a thread.

Where do we stand on posting the address? I know this is going to be considered a dumb question but I really want to know what you all think.

Yay:
  • She's been living in a very nice, expensive property for 4 years, mostly on her own. She has frequently acted like this place is a working-class hovel when in fact it's very expensive and in a nice area. This would prove her lying.
  • It also disproves her endless bullshit about struggling to make ends meet, while in reality she's choosing to rent a a big posh house.
  • She has pretty much self-doxed anyway with the amount of images she puts online.
  • It will not affect her son, as he doesn't live with her.
  • I think sharing such information is within site rules.
Nay:
  • The property is rented, and if her recent tales are to be believed, she is due to move out in February. So this may affect the next residents. (And maybe the landlady)
  • Jack loves nothing more than to feel victimised, and posting her address would give her plenty of fodder to cry about (Including her imaginary stalkers).
Also available is the address of her childhood home. Her parents also pretty much self-doxed in the local media. Jack has claimed that she grew up in a two-up, two-down, and also in a flat that was so tiny that these days it would be legally unfit for habitation (or something like that). In reality, little miss Working Class grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house, where her parents still live. They have lived there since the early 90's.
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Geranium said:
I follow a number of other threads which have the lolcow's address. Just pop it in a private block.

Edit: I think actually it's especially relevant in Munroe's case because the pad itself speaks to muh poverty.
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I’ve made a couple threads with addresses listed, and it’s generally encouraged to make a private cut for those. She is a d list celeb, though, while my threads were on actual low class grifters with next to no following.

Edit: I was told to private cut addresses by mods in the past
 
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Geranium said:
I only skipped through the video - what did she say? (Can't bring myself to watch it because Brexit Derangement Syndrome is perhaps even worse than Trump Derangement Syndrome.)
But yes, voting in the UK is largely a doddle. Local authorities (councils) are responsible for voter registration and organising elections but, unlike the state-by-state situation in the US, election law is set centrally. Applying for postal and proxy votes is straightforward.

There was a change in 2013 that put the responsibility for registering to vote on the individual (rather than the "head of the household" as before), which prompted some to argue that it was likely to lead to a decrease in voter registration. That hasn't been borne out, with 2019 seeing the highest ever number of people registered to vote.
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You can register to vote online as well, that's probably why there's a high turnout registering.
 
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Adrenochrome Dreams said:
So glad this cluster B mega cunt has a thread.

Where do we stand on posting the address? I know this is going to be considered a dumb question but I really want to know what you all think.

Yay:
  • She's been living in a very nice, expensive property for 4 years, mostly on her own. She has frequently acted like this place is a working-class hovel when in fact it's very expensive and in a nice area. This would prove her lying.
  • It also disproves her endless bullshit about struggling to make ends meet, while in reality she's choosing to rent a a big posh house.
  • She has pretty much self-doxed anyway with the amount of images she puts online.
  • It will not affect her son, as he doesn't live with her.
  • I think sharing such information is within site rules.
Nay:
  • The property is rented, and if her recent tales are to be believed, she is due to move out in February. So this may affect the next residents. (And maybe the landlady)
  • Jack loves nothing more than to feel victimised, and posting her address would give her plenty of fodder to cry about (Including her imaginary stalkers).
Also available is the address of her childhood home. Her parents also pretty much self-doxed in the local media. Jack has claimed that she grew up in a two-up, two-down, and also in a flat that was so tiny that these days it would be legally unfit for habitation (or something like that). In reality, little miss Working Class grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house, where her parents still live. They have lived there since the early 90's.
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She will always find something to feel victimised by, regardless of anything.

A compromise could be posting her old address when she moves in February to the new property. If, as you say, she's so easy to locate, plenty of people would have already showed up à la Drachenlord. She's not as big of a lolcow as she thinks (and secretely hope) she is.

TL; DR: post her old address after she moves under a private spoiler.
 
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Adrenochrome Dreams said:
So glad this cluster B mega cunt has a thread.

Where do we stand on posting the address? I know this is going to be considered a dumb question but I really want to know what you all think.

Yay:
  • She's been living in a very nice, expensive property for 4 years, mostly on her own. She has frequently acted like this place is a working-class hovel when in fact it's very expensive and in a nice area. This would prove her lying.
  • It also disproves her endless bullshit about struggling to make ends meet, while in reality she's choosing to rent a a big posh house.
  • She has pretty much self-doxed anyway with the amount of images she puts online.
  • It will not affect her son, as he doesn't live with her.
  • I think sharing such information is within site rules.
Nay:
  • The property is rented, and if her recent tales are to be believed, she is due to move out in February. So this may affect the next residents. (And maybe the landlady)
  • Jack loves nothing more than to feel victimised, and posting her address would give her plenty of fodder to cry about (Including her imaginary stalkers).
Also available is the address of her childhood home. Her parents also pretty much self-doxed in the local media. Jack has claimed that she grew up in a two-up, two-down, and also in a flat that was so tiny that these days it would be legally unfit for habitation (or something like that). In reality, little miss Working Class grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house, where her parents still live. They have lived there since the early 90's.
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It's not in the OP because I didn't have it and didn't actively seek it out, but I think it's relevant to her entire I'm-poor-and-grew-up-working-class schtick. I think she's been accusing people for years of sharing her address online but I've never actually seen it. My impression is that it's just an open secret at this point, and it's entirely down to her own oversharing anyway.

I think it only has to be in private tags if it's in the OP (or on the first page?), but I'm not 100%.
 
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Pedophobe said:
That's a relief, I was worried this cow was planning to move three people including a child into a one bedroom.
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There is no way it’s going to be an actual one bedroom. Bet it turns out that she is doing her usual weasel wording and it’s actually a huge two bedroom with extra things like an ‘orangery’, but one bedroom will be used as an office. Especially with how much she is mentioning the one bedroom and that she’s been ‘sofa-surfing’ (sleeping on her own couch in the living room of her huge house, lol - see below) which is apparently good practice for downsizing to her new abode where she will be permanently sleeping on the couch…

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(credit to Marmalade Atkins on Tattle, thanks for the laugh!)

I’m genuinely excited to see the new pad and for her lies about it to unravel in a matter of days because she genuinely cannot help showing off. She just tells on herself over and over again. It’s amazing.
 
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keytar solo said:
I would attempt her recipes in the name of science. I also sorta wanna try making some of KingCobraJFS's 'recipes' out of morbid curiosity. I know some kiwis tried out Anna Johnson's cinnamon stevia abominations but that I think that's where I'd draw the line personally...
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I would as well, but 'Morbid Asswater Soup' does not sound enticing.
 
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keytar solo said:
I would attempt her recipes in the name of science. I also sorta wanna try making some of KingCobraJFS's 'recipes' out of morbid curiosity. I know some kiwis tried out Anna Johnson's cinnamon stevia abominations but that I think that's where I'd draw the line personally...
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I'd advise attempting Jack's recipes about as much as I would searching out her singing...

It's been done on Tattle (the Slopalong thread) so others don't have to assault their tastebuds and sanity. Spoiler: the recipes either don't work or are tasteless and lack joy.

Anyway, praise beans! Jack Monroe is finally an official lolcow!

Narwhal said:
I get that lasagne isnt't the best looking dish in the world but THAT looks absolutely revolting. Is it Jack's way of declaring war against Italy?
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If you think that lasagne looks terrible, you should check out the Daily Kitchen Live one. How she makes the white sauce for it will make you cry.

Narwhal said:
TL; DR: post her old address after she moves under a private spoiler.
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I'd say no to that. Not fair on whoever next rents it, nor fair on the landlady who apparently lives next door.

In what seems to be the longest move in history, Jack will soon be moving/has already moved to her "forever home" (which she's almost certainly bought) and will no doubt pretty much doxx herself quickly.

As for those wondering where Jack's money has gone = up her nose. While she's not gone full Danniella Westbrook yet, The Amazing History Of Jack Monroe's Ever-Changing Nose Shape is interesting.
 
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Madonna_Claws said:
I'd advise attempting Jack's recipes about as much as I would searching out her singing...
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As you mentioned it…

Plus bonus simps:
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(youtube.com, archive.ph)

Here’s a 2014 video of Monroe cooking vegetable curry for the Graun:

(youtube.com, archive.ph)
Didn't rinse those red lentils to get rid of the lentil dust and inevitable scum 😬
 
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Product Placement said:
One thing that gets me is the comment that she was a hooker. Is there any old ads or even reviews for her?
I did a quick look but can't find anything, I'm sure there would be least one guy who has paid her for sex to come forward anonymously if she is telling the truth here.
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Like every take of tragedy thst comes out of Jack’s mouth, selling sex is a total lie. Her MO is to spew out terrible, awful, shocking things in her backstory, the likes of which only a monster would accuse her of lying about.

Being on the game is just one of them, she also claims to have suffered from severe anorexia, starting at the unusually young age of eight (my guess is that she is repackaging the tragic life story of Nikki Grahame - who suffered from anorexia from the age of eight and died in 2021 - as her own).

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Reader, she was not a firefighter, she worked in the call centre.

Anyway, back to the sex work. In this Buzzfeed piece from 2016 (already mentioned a few pages back) Jack, writing anonymously as “Sam”, describes the rarely talked about phenomenon of domestic abuse in lesbian relationships. In 2018, desperate for a little bit of attention, Jack admitted to Pink News that she was “Sam”.

“Sam” discussed being in her early 20s, three months pregnant, but already in a new relationship with “Lynn” who rapes her, ties her up, holds a knife to her throat, and one incident that was SO BAD she can’t even describe it guys.

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But back to the prostitution. Jack says that she sold sex in 2013. But in this article, pregnant Jack (so this would be 2009-2010) had a dark secret…

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So, was Jack a prostitute before her son was born, or after? Both, or neither?
 
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