- Joined
- May 6, 2016
I watched part of it. It is just some cringeworthy fucks attempting to tell a summed up version of CWC's story. Not worth translating.
Containment Chris in the Media - Mentions of Chris in different medias
- Thread starter ChurchOfGodBear
- Start date
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Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2013
Figures these taco bending burrito munchers would be too lazy to properly research CWC and get their facts straight. Trump is right, we need a wall to keep these people out of our beautiful land! Trump 2016!
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2015
This was a lot more work than I originally thought. Between the insufferable Spaniard slang, the factual innacuracies and overall cringiness I couldn't bring myself to do the whole video. Hope this at least helps you get the tone:
Gotta end this on a high note.
DO YOU KNOW CHRIS CHAN? THE INTERNET'S ARCHENEMY
[TLN: Pretend this is written in thick British accent if you're American.]
Lavender Haired Cunt: Hello everyone, I'm Nana.
Sentient Neckbeard: Hello, I'm *mumbles*
Lavender Haired Cunt: *squeals*
Sentient Neckbeard:...And today we're gonna talk about a hairy issue.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Yeah, it's kinda hard to swallow, huh.
Sentient Neckbeard: yes, we're back to the Internet Royal Family [a reference to their previous videos, I s'pose].
Lavender Haired Cunt: We've seen the queen, we've seen the King, we've seen the princess and, as in any fairy tale, there's gotta be an archenemy.
Sentient Neckbeard: Today we're going to tell the tale of Christian Weston Chandler.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Better known as...
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan.
*intro*
Lavender Haired Cunt: First and foremost and before we start [deliberate redundancy] to tell you this story we've got a couple of things to say.
Sentient Neckbeard: -yep.
Lavender Haired Cunt: we've split this great tale in two parts; in this part we'll focus on Chris Chan's beginnings and in the next one we'll cover his sagas, because this is quite a broad subject.
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, Batman Begins, Batman: The Dark Knight.
Lavender:...And on the other hard, this is a harsh story; we're going to talk about a person with rampant autism, a person who is bullied, who is insulted, and we get that not everyone will find this tasteful; so if you find this too harsh, your fee fees get hurt or your Jimmies are rustled then just don't watch this video.
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, because we're approaching this with this kinda humorous tone, m'kay, 'cause this is our channel, even though the story might not be the most fitting considering you'll be watching a supervillian's origin story through and through.
*7 yo Chris on TV*
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan had a, let's say, harsh, childhood, m'kay. We'll talk briefly about his school days: he only really got along with a group of galpals who only hang around him out of pity. They went out with him, ate lunch with him, but it was all completely out of pity, as they themselves have stated multiple times. Fast forward to prom night. After Chris Chan literally asked every girl out in the school, and every single one of them said "no", he had to go with is mom *young snorlax holding a q-sand*. He was a boy, let's say, quote-unquote "happy", who kinda lived a lie.
Sentient Neckbeard: Things went south, or Chris Chan as we know started, when he went to college *PVCC pic*. He went to a community college, m'kay, kinda like a university for the poor or the less fortunate, m'kay, and there he studied CADD [Beard mistakes it for graphic design]. Those of you who are older know college is completely different...
Lavender Haired Cunt: From school.
Sentient Neckbeard: ...From school. In school your friends are always around, you see 'em everyday, and you can bond with them easily; in college everyone minds his own business and Chris Chan was totally, completely and utterly alone 90% of the time; he didn't get to make any friend nor practically any kind of relationship.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Between 18-21 he was dead set to find a girlfriend, but he didn't do it like a normal guy.
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan had a bit of a twisted concept about relationships; he thought all of his life's problems, his loneliness, the pervasive feeling of being unloved, the feeling of being the butt of all jokes, all had to do with his girlfriend; that as soon a he got a girlfriend...
Lavender Haired Cunt: all his problems would be gone.
Sentient Neckbeard: He wouldn't have any problem, at all. Actually, he considers himself a virgin, and uh, and he has said he wouldn't have sex out of wedlock, he didn't want any kind of relationship other than a stable girlfriend and that's when the "Girlfriend Quest" [sic] started.
Lavender Haired Cunt: His mission was, basically, getting a girlfriend and he carried in a fairly weird way. He set a sign in the college campus: "I'm looking for a girl 18-21, white, non-smoker, non-drinker, thin, is a car owner and cheerie to be my girlfriend"
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, he had like, the sign and sat there and...
Lavender Haired Cunt: ...next to it, waiting to see how many suitor would pick him on. Needless to say nobody cared and nobody approached him, so he kinda started harrasing girls everywhere in the campus, like in the {cafeteria}. And then what happened? The rector got word of it *Mary Lee Walsh* and called Chris Chan. She told him to get rid of the sign and then took it from him. Chris Chan took this as an ultra mega personal [sic] affront, so he wrote a new, much bigger sign and doubled down on the female harrasment. Shit got worse, so the rector expelled him for a month.
Sentient Neckbeard: And this right here is a very important inflection point in the story, because Chris Chan took it completely, totally and absolutely personally, like a very painful affront; like something which would requiere a kind of revenge. Then he invented a really fun thing: the coor-seh hame hame ha [sic]
[TLN: Pretend this is written in thick British accent if you're American.]
Lavender Haired Cunt: Hello everyone, I'm Nana.
Sentient Neckbeard: Hello, I'm *mumbles*
Lavender Haired Cunt: *squeals*
Sentient Neckbeard:...And today we're gonna talk about a hairy issue.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Yeah, it's kinda hard to swallow, huh.
Sentient Neckbeard: yes, we're back to the Internet Royal Family [a reference to their previous videos, I s'pose].
Lavender Haired Cunt: We've seen the queen, we've seen the King, we've seen the princess and, as in any fairy tale, there's gotta be an archenemy.
Sentient Neckbeard: Today we're going to tell the tale of Christian Weston Chandler.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Better known as...
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan.
*intro*
Lavender Haired Cunt: First and foremost and before we start [deliberate redundancy] to tell you this story we've got a couple of things to say.
Sentient Neckbeard: -yep.
Lavender Haired Cunt: we've split this great tale in two parts; in this part we'll focus on Chris Chan's beginnings and in the next one we'll cover his sagas, because this is quite a broad subject.
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, Batman Begins, Batman: The Dark Knight.
Lavender:...And on the other hard, this is a harsh story; we're going to talk about a person with rampant autism, a person who is bullied, who is insulted, and we get that not everyone will find this tasteful; so if you find this too harsh, your fee fees get hurt or your Jimmies are rustled then just don't watch this video.
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, because we're approaching this with this kinda humorous tone, m'kay, 'cause this is our channel, even though the story might not be the most fitting considering you'll be watching a supervillian's origin story through and through.
*7 yo Chris on TV*
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan had a, let's say, harsh, childhood, m'kay. We'll talk briefly about his school days: he only really got along with a group of galpals who only hang around him out of pity. They went out with him, ate lunch with him, but it was all completely out of pity, as they themselves have stated multiple times. Fast forward to prom night. After Chris Chan literally asked every girl out in the school, and every single one of them said "no", he had to go with is mom *young snorlax holding a q-sand*. He was a boy, let's say, quote-unquote "happy", who kinda lived a lie.
Sentient Neckbeard: Things went south, or Chris Chan as we know started, when he went to college *PVCC pic*. He went to a community college, m'kay, kinda like a university for the poor or the less fortunate, m'kay, and there he studied CADD [Beard mistakes it for graphic design]. Those of you who are older know college is completely different...
Lavender Haired Cunt: From school.
Sentient Neckbeard: ...From school. In school your friends are always around, you see 'em everyday, and you can bond with them easily; in college everyone minds his own business and Chris Chan was totally, completely and utterly alone 90% of the time; he didn't get to make any friend nor practically any kind of relationship.
Lavender Haired Cunt: Between 18-21 he was dead set to find a girlfriend, but he didn't do it like a normal guy.
Sentient Neckbeard: Chris Chan had a bit of a twisted concept about relationships; he thought all of his life's problems, his loneliness, the pervasive feeling of being unloved, the feeling of being the butt of all jokes, all had to do with his girlfriend; that as soon a he got a girlfriend...
Lavender Haired Cunt: all his problems would be gone.
Sentient Neckbeard: He wouldn't have any problem, at all. Actually, he considers himself a virgin, and uh, and he has said he wouldn't have sex out of wedlock, he didn't want any kind of relationship other than a stable girlfriend and that's when the "Girlfriend Quest" [sic] started.
Lavender Haired Cunt: His mission was, basically, getting a girlfriend and he carried in a fairly weird way. He set a sign in the college campus: "I'm looking for a girl 18-21, white, non-smoker, non-drinker, thin, is a car owner and cheerie to be my girlfriend"
Sentient Neckbeard: Yeah, he had like, the sign and sat there and...
Lavender Haired Cunt: ...next to it, waiting to see how many suitor would pick him on. Needless to say nobody cared and nobody approached him, so he kinda started harrasing girls everywhere in the campus, like in the {cafeteria}. And then what happened? The rector got word of it *Mary Lee Walsh* and called Chris Chan. She told him to get rid of the sign and then took it from him. Chris Chan took this as an ultra mega personal [sic] affront, so he wrote a new, much bigger sign and doubled down on the female harrasment. Shit got worse, so the rector expelled him for a month.
Sentient Neckbeard: And this right here is a very important inflection point in the story, because Chris Chan took it completely, totally and absolutely personally, like a very painful affront; like something which would requiere a kind of revenge. Then he invented a really fun thing: the coor-seh hame hame ha [sic]
Last edited:
Bunnie
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2016
DragoonSierra
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2015
48 second intro...
I just saw that a personal spanish autist lolcow of mine also commented on Chris.
This guy, despite being a weirdo with some quirks in common with Chris, is way better adjusted than him (for example he has an honest fanbase of spergs) but this is like Marvel vs DC stuff to me
cwcvillemayoress
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 25, 2013
I don't think Rocky socializes with the Chandlers anymore since she moved to a different church.Agreed on all of this. Plus, how lucky does he have to be for someone (Rocky, but still...) to give him a fucking Cadillac after he killed 3 other cars out ofand
.
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2014
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2013
She's still at the church.
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2015
Chris has also appeared on an Mtv game show and Sonichu was published on a Shylock Fox sunday strip.
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2014
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2015
Not directly related to Chris, but perhaps Chris inspired.
Catching up with Better Call Saul. In S02E02 there's an eerily close reference to
Is this an actual "thing" -- or is Vince Gilligan making subtle interest blurbs to OPL?
Catching up with Better Call Saul. In S02E02 there's an eerily close reference to
cakefarts: a chubby and balding character is requested to make a video sitting on a cake and farting to feed a sexual fetish
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2013
Cakefarts was an existing meme that we ripped off and got Chris to do.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
I always wondered who put him up to that. I don't think I've been more amazed or laughed so hard at anything Chris has done than when one day out of the blue the CWCki had a video of Chris doing the infamous cake fart.
jenkinschu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 21, 2016
WhiteChocolateTamale
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2016
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2016
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
At the Ruckervsille Demolition Derby SLASH Flea Market of Pain
The most hardcore match up of the CENTURY takes place between:
The True and Original Christopher... Weston... CHANDLER the MANGLER
Verses his all time nemesis
The Tranny of Terror, the Flabby EXCEPTIONAL INDIVIDUAL you know as CHRISTINE... BRANDON... SOMETHING
*explosion*
This will be the biggest CATACLYSM OF AUTISM you WILL EVER SEE, EVER!
ALL. HELL. IS. GONNA. BREAK. LOOSE.
THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
Be there!
CharlieBrowns
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2014
With his tendency to overplay the weight of physical objects and justify terrible actions taken by 'good' guys, Chris would make a pretty good WWE commentator.