Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Ivan Daniloff]

Not this again…can we please not kill the thread through infighting? We’re here to laugh at a fat stupid man. Stay focused!

 

[PST Stan Account]

Not this again…can we please not kill the thread through infighting? We’re here to laugh at a fat stupid man. Stay focused!

They have to be Pig and Jvstin, trying to get this thread locked again right after the first SFWA pedo podcast episode came out.

 

[Blasterisk]

Well, since we're back to this nonsense I just want to remind everybody that I write $200 custom-tooled haikus at ten thousand letters per minute.

It would cost this website $400,000 to close this thread for twelve seconds. Entire team is CHILD!

 

[MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin]

Pretty sure that's the *other* Patrick Tomlinson from Wisconsin. There's a whole other guy with the same name who's almost as big of a shithead as our Patrick.

the twist to be revealed on page 2000 is that there are numerous pats all escaped from the same government cloning lab. it is how he has managed more Ls than should be possible for any one human being.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Take an advanced college course in prison, atalker.

There is a non-zero chance that Pat ends up in prison before this is over. But there is zero chance he could pass college prison classes. He’d probably get his head caved in with a 60 pound dumbbell within 24 hours of entry once the other convicts sniffed his child predator vibes.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

the twist to be revealed on page 2000 is that there are numerous pats all escaped from the same government cloning lab. it is how he has managed more Ls than should be possible for any one human being.

Ethan Ralph has the most losses in human history. Pat has a long way to go.

 

[MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin]

Ethan Ralph has the most losses in human history. Pat has a long way to go.

ok but pat hasn't been to portugal yet. that will be true test.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ethan Ralph has the most losses in human history. Pat has a long way to go.

Depends on how you run the numbers. I count every unsold book as its own loss. At least EOR has contact with one of his children.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Depends on how you run the numbers. I count every unsold book as its own loss. At least EOR has contact with one of his children.

Even with that, Ethan is still the biggest loser; he is literally the only pig who ever fucked a horse. ONA's prize pig has a long way to go.

 

[FinnSven]

Even with that, Ethan is still the biggest loser; he is literally the only pig who ever fucked a horse. ONA's prize pig has a long way to go.

I have to agree.

Ralph could die tomorrow and he would be forgotten about in a few weeks by anyone else who matters.

Fatrick’s books could still be found in bargain buckets and jumble sales decades from now.
He may not be remembered for anything good, but at least he has his name on a crappy dime store novel or two.
Maybe someone will even be grateful when they find themselves with no toilet roll, but Fatrick’s entire publication history.

 

[PST Stan Account]

Even with that, Ethan is still the biggest loser; he is literally the only pig who ever fucked a horse. ONA's prize pig has a long way to go.

That's the great cultural divide - the hoi polloi who follow your mainstream lolcows are like "whoa, look at what this guy did, so fucked up brah!" while the more refined Patposter is like "intriguing...every single thing this porcine gentleman does and says is shaded with deep stupidity and misplaced arrogance, I must observe him for the furtherment of research in the field of Swine Psychology."

People have been fucking horses since there's been people and horses. Rick is unique, which is why it's hard to explain to people why he's so hateable. They think you're the asshole until you have half an hour to trap them in the corner at a party and lay the whole thing out.

It's his whole being, a thousand tiny things. It's salting his garden. It's putting up his fence backwards. It's "there is no such guild". Leaving 5-star reviews for his books on Goodreads and screaming to get anything under 4 stars removed, then still only selling 800 copies. Arguing with a twitter account impersonating a toilet. Wearing medium sized pew pew t-shirts while giving public talks. And yes, it's threatening to wait until his ex-wife gave birth so he could kill her and the baby. But yeah, tell me about your horsefucker and how much longer Rick needs to go.

There is a non-zero chance that Pat ends up in prison before this is over. But there is zero chance he could pass college prison classes.

When the knock comes:

Then at the end of his sentence, 4 pages about Sherlock Holmes' genderqueer 8 year old child having a totally not inappropriate relationship with Jules Verne. Because sex happens and if you don't put it in books then you're dishonest.

 

[Ladydick Whittington]

That's the great cultural divide - the hoi polloi who follow your mainstream lolcows are like "whoa, look at what this guy did, so fucked up brah!" while the more refined Patposter is like "intriguing...every single thing this porcine gentleman does and says is shaded with deep stupidity and misplaced arrogance, I must observe him for the furtherment of research in the field of Swine Psychology."

People have been fucking horses since there's been people and horses. Rick is unique, which is why it's hard to explain to people why he's so hateable. They think you're the asshole until you have half an hour to trap them in the corner at a party and lay the whole thing out.

It's his whole being, a thousand tiny things. It's salting his garden. It's putting up his fence backwards. It's "there is no such guild". Leaving 5-star reviews for his books on Goodreads and screaming to get anything under 4 stars removed, then still only selling 800 copies. Arguing with a twitter account impersonating a toilet. Wearing medium sized pew pew t-shirts while giving public talks. And yes, it's threatening to wait until his ex-wife gave birth so he could kill her and the baby. But yeah, tell me about your horsefucker and how much longer Rick needs to go.


When the knock comes:
View attachment 4418216
Then at the end of his sentence, 4 pages about Sherlock Holmes' genderqueer 8 year old child having a totally not inappropriate relationship with Jules Verne. Because sex happens and if you don't put it in books then you're dishonest.

Oh God, please don’t. It’s bad enough that this barge-arse has to fatly defile Dickens, to bring Conan Doyle & Verne into this fat pedo-shielder’s orbit (literally, the planet-sized cunt) is more than I can bear.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

the twist to be revealed on page 2000 is that there are numerous pats all escaped from the same government cloning lab. it is how he has managed more Ls than should be possible for any one human being.

Finally, a fellow Kiwi sees the BIG PICTURE.

Watch the shadows, they have been feeding, they are waiting for the thread to close, then they will STRIKE

One clarification... I WISH it was a government cloning facility. It's SFWA. That's so, so much worse. You'll see. You'll see I am not gay, soon, child, soon

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Depends on how you run the numbers. I count every unsold book as its own loss. At least EOR has contact with one of his children.

You don't seem to understand how physical books are sold. He's already got his money for them. The loss is on the publishers, not him.

 

[whogoesthere]

Even with that, Ethan is still the biggest loser; he is literally the only pig who ever fucked a horse. ONA's prize pig has a long way to go.

Gonna disagree with you on that one, if only slightly. Ralph would be happy if this place went under, and I doubt he even knows what ONA is.

Pat however, for all of his bullshit, he needs ONA and kiwifarms alive. Without them, who is he? Just some fat faggot pretending to be some sort of street tough wise guy that no one cares about. It's only by the good graces of a united brothermen that Pat has any value in this world.

Ethan hates that we laugh at him, and seeks to strike back at us whenever he can. He is funny because he always fails, badly.
Pat doesn't exist without us, he needs us, and he hates how pathetic that makes him feel. Bet if he changed his fucking number and stop with the aTalkers, that fucking phone would never ring. Only the odd ding to let him know some rando from far-flung Africa shared one of his retarded takes.

Ethan wins, simply by Pat being so completely worthless. Ethan has an atom of worth. Although they both abandoned their firstborns, married odd women, and are fat. Both are fat. Ever so fat. And heavy drinkers. Shit, the more I think about it, the more those two are appearing more alike. Crazy times, brothers and sisters.

 

[PST Stan Account]

Oh God, please don’t. It’s bad enough that this barge-arse has to fatly defile Dickens, to bring Conan Doyle & Verne into this fat pedo-shielder’s orbit (literally, the planet-sized cunt) is more than I can bear.

My first thought was H.G. Wells, would that have been any better?

The Intolerable Man
Bore of the Worlds
There's No More Food of the Gods Left
The Island of Doctor Epstein
The Time for Lunch Machine
The Shape of Things to Come (no change, just the shape is perfectly round and it's coming to Hooligan's)

 

[AnOminous]

It's his whole being, a thousand tiny things. It's salting his garden. It's putting up his fence backwards. It's "there is no such guild". Leaving 5-star reviews for his books on Goodreads and screaming to get anything under 4 stars removed, then still only selling 800 copies. Arguing with a twitter account impersonating a toilet. Wearing medium sized pew pew t-shirts while giving public talks. And yes, it's threatening to wait until his ex-wife gave birth so he could kill her and the baby. But yeah, tell me about your horsefucker and how much longer Rick needs to go.

I don't know why we're talking about Ralph here. I could actually match each of those with something at least as bad, but I'll just keep it short and point out that when he was sponging off his mom while she was dying of end stage renal failure and she asked him to drive her to dialysis, he told her to go fuck herself and went back to sleep. And he treats everyone else in his life even worse.

There's plenty of worthlessness to go around. I'd put them about equal in terms of worthlessness, but they're complete scumbags in unique ways. Pat makes me even more mad because it's talentless scum like him infesting science fiction who have destroyed it.

And Pat is also imo funnier because virtually every weird quirk he has is like something an actually clever writer would come up with to convey that the character they were writing about was an absolutely worthless turd, sort of like an It's Always Sunny in Milwaukee version of Ignatius J. Reilly, with every remotely likeable thing about that character removed.

 

[Meat Target]

And Pat is also imo funnier because virtually every weird quirk he has is like something an actually clever writer would come up with to convey that the character they were writing about was an absolutely worthless turd, sort of like an It's Always Sunny in Milwaukee version of Ignatius J. Reilly, with every remotely likeable thing about that character removed.

Ralph's backstory is too complicated to follow for the uninitiated. Too many friends-turned-enemies, new best friends who will soon become enemies, wives, concubines, guntspawn, etc.

Patstory begins with Pat making the fatal mistake of blaspheming Norm MacDonald.

 

[FinnSven]

I don't know why we're talking about Ralph here. I could actually match each of those with something at least as bad, but I'll just keep it short and point out that when he was sponging off his mom while she was dying of end stage renal failure and she asked him to drive her to dialysis, he told her to go fuck herself and went back to sleep. And he treats everyone else in his life even worse.

There's plenty of worthlessness to go around. I'd put them about equal in terms of worthlessness, but they're complete scumbags in unique ways. Pat makes me even more mad because it's talentless scum like him infesting science fiction who have destroyed it.

And Pat is also imo funnier because virtually every weird quirk he has is like something an actually clever writer would come up with to convey that the character they were writing about was an absolutely worthless turd, sort of like an It's Always Sunny in Milwaukee version of Ignatius J. Reilly, with every remotely likeable thing about that character removed.

Well the point is how much of a loser Pat is in comparison to Ralph.

Ralph is just a thorough loser. He is stupid, what he has done is just be an ignorant chunk of white trash, and barely put any real effort or thought in.
He entertains because he is just a drunken unhinged boy-man who gets in violence and trouble while satisfying basic crass urges.
He is a boorish oaf who will cease to matter once he dies.

Fatrick has put amazing amounts of thought and effort into his career, and has really tried.

It’s just despite all of this effort and attempts, what he has done is a massive waste of time.

Ralph is the bigger loser because he is just a messed up little man drinking, drugging and out bursting into an early grave.
He may have had potential?
Who knows what he could have achieved with thought, self reflection and effort?

Fatrick on the other hand did his best and it was all shit.
Loser is the wrong word.
Sub-par is probably better.

 

[PST Stan Account]

Ralph's backstory is too complicated to follow for the uninitiated. Too many friends-turned-enemies, new best friends who will soon become enemies, wives, concubines, guntspawn, etc.

Patstory begins with Pat making the fatal mistake of blaspheming Norm MacDonald.

Agreed, I'm home sick and had time to kill so I just checked the Ralph board out. The original thread's locked and there isn't a compelling write-up so it's not for casuals. I browsed his twitter and he seems like he's at least pretending to have fun and is doing a big PT Barnum act people pay attention to. Love or hate, he still gets something.

Torque doesn't have that kind of drive or charisma (look at the month or whatever's worth of close-up on his fish lips youtube videos he tried doing before he saw the apathy and stopped) to even be hated, he's just dismissed but then keeps pushing it until he makes people hate him. The Obscura podcast guy is a perfect example; Pigsley didn't need to insert himself into that but couldn't keep from defending pedophiles. No one knew who he was or why he crashed the conversation, and now he's namedropped often in a podcast series about pedophilia. His heart is full of hate and his head is full of delusions (child). Worse than that, he's terrible at playing both the good guy or the bad guy.

The Ignatius J. Reilly comparison is almost perfect - Ignatius had a job.