Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Agreed, I'm home sick and had time to kill so I just checked the Ralph board out. The original thread's locked and there isn't a compelling write-up so it's not for casuals. I browsed his twitter and he seems like he's at least pretending to have fun and is doing a big PT Barnum act people pay attention to. Love or hate, he still gets something.

Torque doesn't have that kind of drive or charisma (look at the month or whatever's worth of close-up on his fish lips youtube videos he tried doing before he saw the apathy and stopped) to even be hated, he's just dismissed but then keeps pushing it until he makes people hate him. The Obscura podcast guy is a perfect example; Pigsley didn't need to insert himself into that but couldn't keep from defending pedophiles. No one knew who he was or why he crashed the conversation, and now he's namedropped often in a podcast series about pedophilia. His heart is full of hate and his head is full of delusions (child). Worse than that, he's terrible at playing both the good guy or the bad guy.

The Ignatius J. Reilly comparison is almost perfect - Ignatius had a job.

That's your issue right there. For the good stuff you'll have to read the individual threads, or you can watch older Metokur streams

 

[Meat Target]

That's your issue right there. For the good stuff you'll have to read the individual threads, or you can watch older Metokur streams

And that's the issue with Ralph. You have to go back nearly a decade to know his origins.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

And that's the issue with Ralph. You have to go back nearly a decade to know his origins.

At least Jim used to consolidate the Ralph stuff every month which was helpful though streams would just end up being about Ralph. Then you all of the people around him who are also complete fuck ups.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

You don't seem to understand how physical books are sold. He's already got his money for them. The loss is on the publishers, not him.

Watch your mouth, child. We know exactly how it works. And we also know that Pat does not feel like he won just because he got a small check for books that never sold.

You’re probably not familiar with publishing, but writers tend to be sensitive about that kind of thing — especially if they barely graduated high school and thought they were going to prove everyone wrong about their moron status.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

At least Jim used to consolidate the Ralph stuff every month which was helpful though streams would just end up being about Ralph. Then you all of the people around him who are also complete fuck ups.

It was actually a big deal when Jim finally decided that he couldn’t passively gunt guard by omission and started alogging Ralph. He had decided to stay out of it for like a year and change, I think? So most of Ralphahistory is prior to that point.

 

[Chef Red Pill]

"D'oh!"

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

It was actually a big deal when Jim finally decided that he couldn’t passively gunt guard by omission and started alogging Ralph. He had decided to stay out of it for like a year and change, I think? So most of Ralphahistory is prior to that point.

I noticed the "Ralph streams" started around October 2021, could have been earlier than that.

 

[Henri Barbusse]

The Ignatius J. Reilly comparison is almost perfect - Ignatius had a job.

Ignatius also had a greater insight into military matters and his propositions in that area were more realistic than Pat's.

 

[AnOminous]

Patstory begins with Pat making the fatal mistake of blaspheming Norm MacDonald.

But then there's the pre-history of his 1.2 GPA (if you remove gym).

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Patstory begins with Pat making the fatal mistake of blaspheming Norm MacDonald.

But what of Mama Raven. LapGate and abandoning his daughter?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

But what of Mama Raven. LapGate and abandoning his daughter?

Those weren't originally public.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

Every time I think we're heading for a lull in content, Fatrick starts cranking the absurdity machine like a buffoon and we end up with amazing stuff like Norm doing voiceover for the Porsalin doc, countless other AI gold, and Obscura landing solid punches. Page 1488 was also great, thank you.

If anybody wants to hear what Boomia sounds like, @Somerville Dan has a video with him and Ethan Van Sciver shitting on Pat. Kinda nice to put a voice to his chat-logs, and the dude is funny as hell:

 

[Broadside]

but I'll just keep it short and point out that when he was sponging off his mom while she was dying of end stage renal failure and she asked him to drive her to dialysis, he told her to go fuck herself and went back to sleep.

I'm officially MATI. How do people end up becoming such scumbags?

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

I'm officially MATI. How do people end up becoming such scumbags?

The short answer is Ralph's crazy dad abused him as a child. The long answer (and none of this is exaggerated or hyperbole, btw) is that Null suggested that perhaps it was time to sacrifice Ralph to the corn to dispel bad blood in the sektur and ensure a bountiful harvest. Ralph took great offense to this, filmed Chris Chan's arrest to spite Null, and the sonichu demon that had been inhabiting Chris possessed Ralph instead. I wish I was joking, but here we are. Xanax, cocaine, liquor, coprophilia and short/fat man syndrome also contribute.

 

[Maude Snew]

My first thought was H.G. Wells, would that have been any better?

The Intolerable Man
Bore of the Worlds
There's No More Food of the Gods Left
The Island of Doctor Epstein
The Time for Lunch Machine
The Shape of Things to Come (no change, just the shape is perfectly round and it's coming to Hooligan's)

Oh come on, the island of doctor moron was right there.

 

[siegemeister675]

But what of Mama Raven. LapGate and abandoning his daughter?

Who is Mama Raven? This part of the lore is opaque to me.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I was thinking, Patirck might want to try submitting his high school records and pages of his replies to texts to the court as evidence he has diminished capacity and cannot pay Quasi.

 

[siegemeister675]

The short answer is Ralph's crazy dad abused him as a child. The long answer (and none of this is exaggerated or hyperbole, btw) is that Null suggested that perhaps it was time to sacrifice Ralph to the corn to dispel bad blood in the sektur and ensure a bountiful harvest. Ralph took great offense to this, filmed Chris Chan's arrest to spite Null, and the sonichu demon that had been inhabiting Chris possessed Ralph instead. I wish I was joking, but here we are. Xanax, cocaine, liquor, coprophilia and short/fat man syndrome also contribute.

Also anger over his small penis.

 

[PedoSec]

There is a non-zero chance that Pat ends up in prison before this is over. But there is zero chance he could pass college prison classes. He’d probably get his head caved in with a 60 pound dumbbell within 24 hours of entry once the other convicts sniffed his child predator vibes.

Do they let you tweet in prison?

Oopsie doodles.

Seriously though, imagine if he somehow survived the first 24 hours and were forced to quit that shit cold turkey. What would happen to him? Would he start shaking and typing "child" on an hallucinated keyboard? And after that, if he survived the withdrawal, what then? Would he become productive? Would he actually write books again?

Thinking more about it now, he would probably child the other prisoners and get killed right away anyway. Oh well.

 

[Meat Target]

Who is Mama Raven? This part of the lore is opaque to me.

His mom, a school counselor who always said he was a special boy and pulled strings so that he would keep advancing grades, in spite of being a barely-functioning sped. Supposedly gave him his motto in life, "#Don'tLetTheIdiotsWin", which he has taken to mean "always try to force in the last word, even when you are proven irrefutably wrong".