Notorious murderers or criminals who are lolcows

[Pitbull Victim]

I don't remember his name, but he was a real tall, fat white dude who had a foot fetish and would kill teenage and 20-somethings women for their feet. He would take pictures of the corpses' feet wearing different kind of shoes and made them pose in different angles... which sometimes took hours for him to do. Afterward he would cut one foot off and keep it in the freezer, along with their shoes.

Jerry Brudos - weirdly he looked like both Ethan Ralph and PPP at different stages of his life.

 

[TokiBun]

Well I tried to watch that Dahmer show and couldn’t even get though five minutes it was so bad. The acting sucks and whoever is trying to write gay people watched way too much drag race and has never met a fag in their entire life.

 

[Not a bee]

Jerry Brudos - weirdly he looked like both Ethan Ralph and PPP at different stages of his life.

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Oh my god you're right
I forgot how ugly this guy was too

 

[Meat Target]

Dunno if he's a cow, but this guy on the glowie shitlist looks like a Hispanic Ralph.

 

[Ewan McGregor]

Well I tried to watch that Dahmer show and couldn’t even get though five minutes it was so bad. The acting sucks and whoever is trying to write gay people watched way too much drag race and has never met a fag in their entire life.

Netflix Dahmer show, as anything Netflix, is incredibly agenda based. They play fast and loose with some facts to craft a narrative, as they always do.

It is not exactly lying, but it is disgusting, and I can think of a few other publicly known stories where cherrypicking certain facts, or making them particularly salient, in the same manner they do would have quite the aggressive reaction from the sort of mentality that is behind most Netflix productions.

 

[Windows Error 98]

Anders Breivik.

- 1500 page plagiarized manifesto
- shot 60+ Norwegian children dead, still faxes the victims families white nationalist propaganda to this day
- is in possibly the most comfortable prison system in the world, still sues them for human rights abuses
- claimed solitary confinement gave him brain damage, his proof of this was that he had begun to enjoy the reality tv show Paradise Hotel
- got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, complained so hard about this that they tested him again and he came out normal. only man to reject his own insanity defense
- sued the Norwegian government because they didn’t give him a ps3 and won
- is in solitary because no one they put him with wants to talk to him

 

[LateNightMuffin]

I don't know if he counts as an honest-to-goodness lolcow, or if he's just one of the stupidest people on the planet, but Thomas Wallace recently killed his roommate, then dismembered his body with a chainsaw, then tried to "get rid of the evidence" by taking the chainsaw to a pawnshop while it was still covered with "torn flesh, ligaments, and biological matter." The pawnshop called the cops, who then went to his (gore-covered) apartment and arrested him.

news article

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Dana Rivers.

Former teacher of the year trooned out, got fired, sued the school, went to MichFest, joined a biker gang, killed an interracial lesbian couple and their kid, and tried to burn the murder house down.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I would also vote for Fish.

He wrote the victim's family admitting to killing and eating their daughter but nobody in the family could read so they went to the neighbor to read the letter to them. Imagine your neighbor telling you that your daughter was killed and eaten and Fish's only regret was she died a virgin.

He also had his own kids sit on his naked back and spank him with a spiked paddle. He also shoved needles into his taint. They had to electrocute him several times because the needles interfered with the electric shocks.

He was a house painter and back then they used lead paint. That could explain his mental illness, but still, that letter he wrote in explicit detail of how he murdered and cooked that girl.

Chris-Chan's taint piercing was horrifying. Fish shoving dozens of sewing needles into his taint is something else.

 

[Zilch]

Amy Fisher "The Long Island Lolita"
At the age of 16 Fisher had an affair with a 35 year old mechanic Joey Buttafuoco.
Either out of jealousy or coaxed by Joey, Amy shot his wife Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face (non-fatal)
Amy went to prison but not for very long.
She started an amateur porn career in the early noughts with her gross husband Lou who was at least 25 years her senior.
Their homemade pornography was hilariously dissected on Stern; back when the show was good.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Diane Downs
Attempted to murder her kids succeeding with one all because the guy she was having the affair with didn't want kids at all. Claims to this day that a man is still responsible for the attack and murder.
Got pregnant during her trial. Escaped prison once and was later found in bed with a redneck.

 

[Xolanite]

The guy who burned Kyoto animation studio. Guy was convinced they stole his anime idea for Sound! Euphonium

how the fuck has no one said "Varg Vikernes" yet?

Yeah but Euronymous was an even bigger lolcow.

Varg’s pretty much off Twitter due to ban evasion, I think. He has a herd of kids and is on state welfare. There’s also this song that samples Burzum

Euronymous would have a shitton of a-logs for how he treated Dead. He’d be happy because he really went out of his way for people to hate him.

 

[pork and beans]

Well I tried to watch that Dahmer show and couldn’t even get though five minutes it was so bad. The acting sucks and whoever is trying to write gay people watched way too much drag race and has never met a fag in their entire life.

Netflix Dahmer show, as anything Netflix, is incredibly agenda based. They play fast and loose with some facts to craft a narrative, as they always do.

It is not exactly lying, but it is disgusting, and I can think of a few other publicly known stories where cherrypicking certain facts, or making them particularly salient, in the same manner they do would have quite the aggressive reaction from the sort of mentality that is behind most Netflix productions.

I have zero interest in watching the dahmer show but whats actually worth a read is the "My friend dahmer" comic an old classmate of his made. Its really interesting.
Dahmer was a total lolcow in highschool. the author and his friends found him so funny (until they eventually got creeped out) they made a "Jeffrey dahmer fanclub" and they would sneak him in pictures of classes he didnt belong to for the yearbook photos and draw him for band posters or the yearbook cover or art assignments etc. they literally referred to his speech and common phrases as "Dahmerisms"
Its really bizarre. Look at the drawings of Dahmer the guy made in highschool lol.

 

[TokiBun]

I have zero interest in watching the dahmer show but whats actually worth a read is the "My friend dahmer" comic an old classmate of his made. Its really interesting.
Dahmer was a total lolcow in highschool. the author and his friends found him so funny (until they eventually got creeped out) they made a "Jeffrey dahmer fanclub" and they would sneak him in pictures of classes he didnt belong to for the yearbook photos and draw him for band posters or the yearbook cover or art assignments etc. they literally referred to his speech and common phrases as "Dahmerisms"
Its really bizarre. Look at the drawings of Dahmer the guy made in highschool lol.
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Damn the man really was the OG lolcow with his own groupie of weens. I love the drawings too especially the last one lol

 

[Meat Target]

I'm crossposting this from Patrick Tomlinson's thread, because I discovered this guy from the same podcast about to do an episode on his SFWA buddies.

Meet Justin Rey:

TLDW:

• Dude was a homeless "Christian Scientist" schizo who got his kids taken from him by CPS;
• lived in a storage unit;
• mooched off churches for sustenance until they yeeted him for being a piece of shit;
• wouldn't give medical care to his wife or remaining kids;
• wife died in childbirth, and he told everyone she "committed suicide" because she didn't pray hard enough;
• Cut her up and was gonna go bury her in Arizona;
• Gave the cops his phone to "prove he was a loving husband", which resulted in his arrest when they found CP;
• Represented himself in court and sperged out at the judge;
• Was discovered to have murdered someone back in California

 

[The Feline Solution]

I have zero interest in watching the dahmer show but whats actually worth a read is the "My friend dahmer" comic an old classmate of his made. Its really interesting.
Dahmer was a total lolcow in highschool. the author and his friends found him so funny (until they eventually got creeped out) they made a "Jeffrey dahmer fanclub" and they would sneak him in pictures of classes he didnt belong to for the yearbook photos and draw him for band posters or the yearbook cover or art assignments etc. they literally referred to his speech and common phrases as "Dahmerisms"
Its really bizarre. Look at the drawings of Dahmer the guy made in highschool lol.
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I second this, the comic is excellent. I like how Derf says in the foreword that if you call yourself a Dahmer fan or the like to not even bother him via mail or on cons, he made the comic as a memoir and maybe to somehow better understand how Dahmer could turn out to be as he did, without ever making any excuses for him or denying that Dahmer is a monster. The artstyle is great. IIRC they also made a film based on it where the Napoleon Dynamite kid plays Dahmer.

 

[TowinKarz]

Charles Guiteau -

Assassinated President James Garfield for Garfield refusing to appoint him the American Ambassador to Paris, a job he felt he'd earned by writing a nonsensical speech in support of Garfield on the campaign trail, which was plagiarized and intended for supporting U.S. Grant, but when Grant lost the nomination, Guiteau just crossed out his name and wrote in Garfield's.

When he bought the murder weapon in a gun store, he opted for a pistol with ivory grips because he thought it'd look better in a museum case.

Upon conviction, he called the Judge and Jury "Low-consummate Jackasses"

While on death row, published a personal ad looking for a virginal Christian girl, preferably no older than 18 years of age and requested a brass band play at his hanging (obviously denied)

When asked if he had any last words on the gallows, he proceeded to act out an incoherent plea for mercy (or something) by pretending to be a little boy who didn't want to see him hanged (complete with bad affected falsetto voice ) that the guards eventually just got tried of and dropped him.

He was also a disbarred lawyer who only argued one case before joining his firm's billing department and scamming money out of clients, sent his own brother a letter with a pittance of cash inside and told him it was payment to never talk to him ever again and that he should cram it up his ass since that was "an accurate representation of the esteem you are held in by Charles J Guiteau" started a religious newspaper that plagiarized its articles for about a year before folding and ran off to join a free-love convent whose members promptly drove him off giving him the nickname "Charles Git-Out"

 

[Fartatron64]

I have zero interest in watching the dahmer show but whats actually worth a read is the "My friend dahmer" comic an old classmate of his made. Its really interesting.
Dahmer was a total lolcow in highschool. the author and his friends found him so funny (until they eventually got creeped out) they made a "Jeffrey dahmer fanclub" and they would sneak him in pictures of classes he didnt belong to for the yearbook photos and draw him for band posters or the yearbook cover or art assignments etc. they literally referred to his speech and common phrases as "Dahmerisms"
Its really bizarre. Look at the drawings of Dahmer the guy made in highschool lol.
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There was a movie based on his school years with the same name, it's before he started to kill and a lot of the facts are wrong but it's still a decent watch

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Derek Medina, who would've had a thread here if he wasn't arrested in August of 2013. The guy is a delusional narcissist, the type who calls himself a game developer after slapping some assets in Unity.

His feats are presented by but not limited to:

- Being "an aspiring writer" with books of such skitzo titles, like "How a judgemental and selfish attitude is destroying the world we live in because the world is vanishing beneath our eyes" and more ironically "How I saved Someone's Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication", yes, not through, but thru.
- Filming himself running at a stadium and calling it "winning a golden medal"
- Claiming to be skilled in numerous martial arts and having a long win streak.
- Claimed to be a ghost hunter and believed in all that crap.
- Was an extra in "Burn notice", claimed that he is a movie star.
- Claiming to be smart, experienced an all knowing, despite being unable to hold a job for more than 6 months, since those idiots always dared to question his excellence.
- During a softball game, someone accidentally spilled a drink on him and apologised. He instead flipped the fuck out, screamed "You don't know who you're messing with", pulled out a gun and threatened to kill that guy.
- He shot his wife after she had enough and decided to leave him, then posted her dead body on Facebook. Then turned himself in, claiming it was self-defence and he was scared for his life despite shooting her 8 fucking times.
- When cops asked what he was defending himself from, he said, that she threw things at him, including a heavy box, that struck him in his head and now it hurts. He then couldn't explain what box it was and where it is now.
- When cops pointed out that he doesn't look battered, he replied "of course, not, I am pro boxer, 25-0" and when they asked if he could've easily disarmed her, he replied "of course".
- When cops asked if there is any proof of what he is saying, he said that he put a security camera inside his home to film paranormal activity and it recorded everything just like he said it happened. Take a guess what really was there?
- When cops asked him why she went downstairs to cook, if he said that she was attacking him, he replied with "oh, that's because I pulled a gun on her to calm her down and told that I will kill her"
- Then claimed that she pulled a knife on him, but he disarmed her and she hit him in the chest two times AND THIS IS WHAT MADE HIM AFRAID FOR HIS LIFE, SO HE WENT BACK UPSTAIRS FOR A GUN AND SHOT HER
- Was genuinely shocked, when he was charged with a second degree murder instead of self-defence. Plead not guilty, had tantrums in court, called the court, judge and cops corrupt.
- During his last words addressed Obama and told him to focus on corruption, said "I will be suing this world", claimed that Universal made a movie about him before the trial ended.

Guess, now we know Patrick Tomlinson's future after he will fail to pay Quasi.

 

[Bunny Tracks]

Actual fucking probable retard Charles Starkweather, and his underage girlfriend, Caril Ann Fugate.

Caril gets a pass because she was only fourteen, but Charles' stupidity is legendary as his entire murder-spree was caused by him getting into a fight with a gas station clerk over a teddy bear, and the fact Caril's parents hated him because he was dating their underage daughter, and because he was just so fucking dumb.