Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
How to Gourmet up Hospital Food with Cheese, Bacon and More Cheeses!
I keep harping on dysphagia, but if Jack lands an order for moist/extra gravy, he is going to be in heaven.

Man, this is an intriguing mystery. The sons have made correlating doomposts, the mother-in-law is calling for prayers, and something is using Jack's account to post that everything is fine and normal. If Jack had any friends, they'd be calling the cops for a welfare check.
 
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That....and he is retarded. This man ACTUALLY believes he is eating healthy. This family have got NO CLUE about what a healthy diet is, wich is proven by his sons message the other day. He just dont understand food at it most basic level, he is like an analfabet thats trying to read.
Jr is a retard like his father so it's not surprising he thinks his Dad is eating healthy.
 
I bet they had a dietician talk to him before discharge. He got the suggested meal plan, couldn't find burnt n' raw chicken breasts smothered in cream cheese and lard and just said, pff, I know what I am doing better than this and chucked before Mommywife came back.
If doctors told Jack to quit meth and start a healthy lifestyle he would just smoke from a crackpipe wrapped in a bell pepper.
 

"BAM And I tap her on the mouth [...] BAM then I tap her a little bit harder [...] She does not like it"​

- Jack Scalfani, 2022
I adore this channel so much. Nothing but bangers.


Also, every time I see that clip of this shithead biting into the burger in the most uncouth way imaginable I'm left going like wow at not just Jagoff but also Hammy. I mean how you can record your significant other eating like that and not start projectile vomiting everywhere is amazing to me. Hammy deserves Jagoff.
 
I adore this channel so much. Nothing but bangers.


Also, every time I see that clip of this shithead biting into the burger in the most uncouth way imaginable I'm left going like wow at not just Jagoff but also Hammy. I mean how you can record your significant other eating like that and not start projectile vomiting everywhere is amazing to me. Hammy deserves Jagoff.
The smashing of the burger into his mouth is both amazing and revolting at the same time.

I am willing to put money down that he will croak for good on one of these upcoming glutton tours.
It really depends how he looks on his next video but the man is like a cockroach. Almost impossible to kill.
 
That's the part I don't get. He's had how many health scares now that have landed him in the hospital? Strokes, torn tendons, beetus, high blood pressure, a heart attack and he's still going to be shoveling in the fast food.
Normal people: *Minor chest pain* "Aight time to cut out basically all the unhealthy shit from my diet"
Jack: *nearly dies* "Eh ten more burgers will work"
 
Normal people: *Minor chest pain* "Aight time to cut out basically all the unhealthy shit from my diet"
Jack: *nearly dies* "Eh ten more burgers will work"
That tenacity is actually impressive.

People in this situation discuss the worst case scenarios with their close ones, and I'm sure so did Jack.

Imagine him in his ICU bed after another emergency, his body completely shutting down, barely holding to the last thread of life. Tammy, with tears in her eyes, tilting a frying pan and pouring the grease straight into his gullet... beeping sound becoming more regular and his body stabilizing somehow... spirit of Wendigo lives another day to feast...
 
That tenacity is actually impressive.

People in this situation discuss the worst case scenarios with their close ones, and I'm sure so did Jack.

Imagine him in his ICU bed after another emergency, his body completely shutting down, barely holding to the last thread of life. Tammy, with tears in her eyes, tilting a frying pan and pouring the grease straight into his gullet... beeping sound becoming more regular and his body stabilizing somehow... spirit of Wendigo lives another day to feast...
Are we sure Tammy didn't take out a big juicy insurance policy on Jack?

No one will expect murder by Tex-mex tour.
 
Any insurer giving Jack a life policy while there are videos of him killing himself with food shortly after a medical emergency is negligent and deserves to be fleeced.
As a general rule, once you've been underwritten for an insurance policy anything under that is covered that isn't specifically excluded under the contract, such as suicide clauses. Insurance companies have good legal departments but I don't think they'd be able to successfully argue that refusing to stop drinking hot lard & cheese three times a day is 'suicide.'

Honestly though if he applied for a policy before he had the first mini-stroke hospitalisation in 2008 he might've been up for increased premiums just due to his obesity, after the fact it'd also be additional specific exclusions for strokes and/or heart attacks.
 
Tammy's mom has run an insurance "firm" for quite some time now. I'm sure ol' Carolyn "Q" Flanders would look the other way for her beloved daughter.

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It's kind of sad how easy it would be to simulate Jack. This could be a work or completely legit and I wouldn't be able to tell. Only him hating it would get us a legitimate reaction.
THESE EGFROLLS ARE TOO SMALL AND NO MEAT. "Well yes Jack, they had to omit the meat to stick to the price point." A REAL FRIEND WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT IN PRIVATE
 
Is he home or fat posting from the hospital?

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Im still thinking hes at the hospital at the least. As much as we joke on Jack being able to shrug off shit that puts mere mortals in the ground, he couldnt have left unscathed. He would need to be watched and have a few tests taken to make sure he at least can get out of the hospital without disaster striking or just stroke out once he walks back in the house. Im sure a doctor went over what happened and why and I can see Jack just not giving a fuck or trying to argue that it was the water or some other dumb shit.

Now what I can believe is Tammy is bringing in food for him. I can imagine the doctors put him on a diet while in the hospital and when they tried to order something they said no. Jack got pissy and made Tammy get him some gud fud. One can only imagine what it would be like to a fly in the hospital when Jack is admitted.
 
I snuck my grandpa Carl's Jr in hospice. He was supposed to die either way, and they wouldn't let him have it, so I had to "make a run"
It was absolute shit, Carl's Jr has gone to garbage since the 90's.

Weirdly enough, my grandpa recovered from terminal cancer and lived another eight years before it came back.
We always joked it was the shitty Carl's that made him rally. But I won't eat there again. Fuckers.
 
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