Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[RedMage]

Happy 1,500 pages, you guys... here's to 1,500 more!

And congrats again to @Caverlock . You lit the match, King.

View attachment 4438536

Assuming he doesn't dead.

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

Taking a step back, it’s almost impressive that he keeps invoking LEO when he has so much to hide:

1. He vandalized his own property (with an erasable marker) for sure
2. He has emailed himself/associates posing as the atalker childs
3. He might have swatted himself at least once or twice. (Not the night of the tiny faucet dick, but other times. I believe this but I’m not sure of it like I am of the first two.)

McGut the Crime Cuck, you are playing a risky game inviting the cops into your life constantly.

An official acknowledgment by law enforcement that it was actually him who wrote on his gay motorcycle would be rib shatteringly hilarious. However, as we all know, there is no investigation, because no one fucking cares.

 

[RiceofSkywalker]

Happy 1500! To celebrate, here's my first fat haiku and a related image:

Drifting in the void
Avatar of hunger, come
Fatly feast on Earth

 

[delite]

An official acknowledgment by law enforcement that it was actually him who wrote on his gay motorcycle would be rib shatteringly hilarious. However, as we all know, there is no investigation, because no one fucking cares.

The silhouette looks exactly like fatty.

 

[Pomniman]

Happy 1500! To celebrate, here's my first fat haiku and a related image:
View attachment 4439168
Drifting in the void
Avatar of hunger, come
Fatly feast on Earth

A tanka:

Stalked by the children
A pendulous hooligan
Vaginal wafting
Water balloon commando
He still grinds them groids right up

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

Is that supposed to be clever? Night has no meaning somewhere there is no day.

I didn't go into detail on the second sentence but it manages to have even less meaning than that, somehow, because he still considers it to be night even when they're barreling headlong into a star. Barreling headlong into a star is just a hot, bright night. Barreling headlong into a star also isn't what he wrote, it's just my brain's attempt to spice up the language and visuals of what he actually wrote. What he actually wrote was 'flown'

I have Gate Crashers but couldn't get past the first paragraph. If you start a thread for this in the Art & Literature section I'll do book club with you. I honestly do want to read it - I got through a few chapters of The Ark and it's just bad and boring, but Gate Crashers looks like Torque doing Joss Wheden digging up Douglas Adams and pissing on his skull.

I'm generally pretty detached from mainstream pop culture so I'm coming at this with fresh eyes, if he manages to steal something actually interesting the fact that its stolen will likely fly right over my head unless he stole it from an episode of Star Trek or the Star Wars prequels, and not because I'm big into Star Trek/Wars but because I watch RLM/Plinkett Reviews so some help in identifying stolen tropes would likely be beneficial to me

That introductory bundle of paragraphs is definitely a doozy. If an elementary school student wrote it for a creative writing assignment I'd be somewhat impressed but still have to dock a few points, probably an A/A- in that scenario. If a middle schooler wrote it it'd be about what I expect, probably a B with some notes on corrections they can make for extra points. The biggest weakness is probably the vocabulary. If a kid has a limited vocabulary that's to be expected. There's limits to what they're able to read and they just haven't had that much time to read it. But for Patrick S. Tomlinson, professional author, there's no excuse

I think the reason he copy-pastes his replies to the stalkerbabychilds so much might be due to the limits of his vocabulary. If he were to reply individually they would all sound same-y and he knows they're going to be shared around. By copy-pasting he can at least deflect by saying that the stalkerbabychilds aren't worth the effort

 

[AnOminous]

He might have swatted himself at least once or twice. (Not the night of the tiny faucet dick, but other times. I believe this but I’m not sure of it like I am of the first two.)

I'm almost certain that wasn't Pat. Pat is nowhere near good enough an actor to fake a legitimate mental breakdown like that. He was actually completely losing his shit in narc rage and "do you KNOW who I AM?" shit. As for anything after that, I'm skeptical of that many swattings, but with him the obvious suspect, and stupid as fat, the fact he hasn't been caught yet makes me doubt he did all of those.

Barreling headlong into a star is just a hot, bright night.

Is that really what was happening? Because if you are barreling into a star, you are not in deep space, which is generally used in SF to refer to interstellar space.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

I'm almost certain that wasn't Pat. Pat is nowhere near good enough an actor to fake a legitimate mental breakdown like that. He was actually completely losing his shit in narc rage and "do you KNOW who I AM?" shit. As for anything after that, I'm skeptical of that many swattings, but with him the obvious suspect, and stupid as fat, the fact he hasn't been caught yet makes me doubt he did all of those.

Yeah the most compelling evidence against him swatting himself is that that he hasn’t been caught; he’s far too stupid to do it competently. I keep it as a possibility because many of our brothers, who are far more versed in Patrology than I, are convinced he’s done at least some of them, specifically those that happen when he’s not home.

 

[Meriasek]

I didn't go into detail on the second sentence but it manages to have even less meaning than that, somehow, because he still considers it to be night even when they're barreling headlong into a star. Barreling headlong into a star is just a hot, bright night. Barreling headlong into a star also isn't what he wrote, it's just my brain's attempt to spice up the language and visuals of what he actually wrote. What he actually wrote was 'flown'

And it's not like he couldn't have made it actually funny as he went for comedy, I think. "It was a cold, dark, night in space. Well, as far as cold and dark apply when you're barreling head first into a star, which most spacers would agree with groundpounders on is the last place that should be associated with 'cold', 'dark', or 'night'. But in terms of mood and gravitas it was a cold, dark, night in space."

 

[Meat Target]

Yeah the most compelling evidence against him swatting himself is that that he hasn’t been caught; he’s far too stupid to do it competently. I keep it as a possibility because many of our brothers, who are far more versed in Patrology than I, are convinced he’s done at least some of them, specifically those that happen when he’s not home.

What if it's neither us, nor the brothermen, nor Fat himself? What if his neighbors keep hearing shit going down at the hovel and calling the cops? Pat could be beating Nikki, or screaming at his toilet, or making too much racket with the sausage grinder.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

Where's based Pinochet when you need a fat faggot with bitch tits thrown out of a chopper?
View attachment 4405392

Looks like the helicopter of @JosephStalin

 

[FinnSven]

What if it's neither us, nor the brothermen, nor Fat himself? What if his neighbors keep hearing shit going down at the hovel and calling the cops? Pat could be beating Nikki, or screaming at his toilet, or making too much racket with the sausage grinder.

As I have pointed out before, the swatter could be a lurker.

Or even a person in fatricks real life, like maybe other drunks at Hooligans who enjoy hearing him blather on while drunk.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

Is that really what was happening? Because if you are barreling into a star, you are not in deep space, which is generally used in SF to refer to interstellar space.

And it's not like he couldn't have made it actually funny as he went for comedy, I think. "It was a cold, dark, night in space. Well, as far as cold and dark apply when you're barreling head first into a star, which most spacers would agree with groundpounders on is the last place that should be associated with 'cold', 'dark', or 'night'. But in terms of mood and gravitas it was a cold, dark, night in space."

Flying into a star was just offered up as a 'humorous' counter-position to what was actually happening. What was actually happening was nothing, but I assume he had to hit a word/page count. And yeah, I definitely wouldn't consider anywhere near any star to be deep space. Just to be fair to Pat, the 'humorous' counter position didn't use the word deep space, only the current situation, so sorry if that wasn't clear, I was more trying to emphasize the meaninglessness of the way he was using the word night.

Were he to try and be creative, this would have been a good point to try and interject with some space-slang, with 'night' referring to any portion of a trip where the bulk of the crew was in 'cryogenic' sleep, which is another word he misuses, though I don't hate his version of suspended animation which I assume means he stole it from somewhere. A small portion of what occurs in ch1 is Maggie and the captain dealing with, or at least pondering upon, Maggie's growing sense of self, and we do get some of Maggie's thoughts, so Maggie attempting to incorporate slang into her communications, even in her internal monologues, especially in her internal monologues, coupled with her reminding herself what the slang meant as a means to further cement it into her neural-net, would be an infinitely more clever way of incorporating the explanations into the story rather than having the third-person narrator explaining things that haven't come up in any way, shape or form

I'm obviously not very far in but at this point I think it would have been very beneficial to have Maggie as the narrator rather than a third person voice. The only excuse for it is that he wants to use third person omniscient, but he very well could have had Maggie be omniscient to the extent of her scanner ranges (which she basically already is) and nothing would change aside from where you're getting the information (Maggie, instead of out of thin air) and it would excuse all of the random interjections that don't belong when they're coming from the third person voice, because Maggie is still growing and has a lot of time to think about things.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

The idea of performative crypto hater Fatrick having to do proof-of-work for KiwiFlare every time he comes to cyberstalk our thread pleases me. He does it for free!

 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

I tasked an AI with writing a story about Patrick. Just like real life it ended up with the bastard dying of a heart attack and being a failure.
Still better than anything ever wrote.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

That was your first mistake. Their selection is often shit.

Here it used to be good but now the store has like 33% to 55% of their store being clothes and bathing shit like it's Bed, Bath, and Beyond and they've removed their magazine section for a digital location to sell tablets. I'll have to see if my favourite location has gone to shit too. Glad my favourite book store never sold out and told Indigo to fuck off.

 

[AnOminous]

I tasked an AI to write a story about Patrick and just like real life it ended up with the bastard dying of a heart attack and being a failure.
Still better than anything ever wrote.

"But I must fight the childs!"

"No, Pat. You are the childs."

And then Pat was pepperoni.

 

[Sir Dank-a-Lot]

Could have easily made it clever by making it "It was a cold-dark night in space - as it always is." or something.
But Pat is too dumb - and fat - for even something as simple as that.

Happy 1500 pages to all you childs and stalkers, by the way.

“It was a cold, dark night in space. Honestly it’s always a cold, dark night in space which is why we have a stockpile of vitamin D and have some creative ways to entertain ourselves. I’m getting a little ahead of myself though.”

See…that was easy you obese moron.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

I'm afraid I'll have to give you a rainbow on this one.
Because yeah - Normal people don't.
But god knows Redditors fucking do. He is the ultimate redditor.

he's smug enough and has the whole "not knowing what he's talking about" thing down to a tee, but he doesn't call anybody who disagrees with him an incel or a chud, so he's yet to hit peak Reddit

 

[Hambubger]

Has Pat ever been on a dating website trolling for booty?