Personal Lolcows: Tumblr Edition - A website like Tumblr tends to breed exceptional individuals

[Juscum]

There was this chick I followed from LJ to tumblr when that was a big deal. Very talented, currently in school for French history and animation, etc etc. Completely fucking psycho. She cheated on her girlfriend and broadcasted the entire saga to the internet. GF found out, because duh, and then she started this bizarre harassment campaign. GF went off the deep end a while back and has been posting crazy "kill all the tranny women" shit for about a year now, 90% sure she's made it onto TiA at some point.

Best part is I wasn't the first one to spot the crazy. There's a whole Dreamwidth thread dedicated to her weird delusions of grandeur.

 

[limecouch]

I knew mine IRL in high school. He was a whiny sadsack who had oneitis for a mutual fujoshi friend. He tried telling her he was interested in her, then pretended he was gay to get her attention. Surprise surprise, the fujoshi girl whose dad abused her, then came out as gay and divorced her mom didn't appreciate the "I like you, wait now I'm gay" thing. He's been trying to date her for over eight years now.

He had a falling out with my fiance over my fiance not letting him win at Yu-Gi-Oh. We were three years into college by that point.

Now that my fujoshi friend has a tumblr, he's subscribed to the tumblr culture and is pretending to be trans. Every once in a while he posts selfies of himself in terrible makeup, or talks about how the thought of my fiance "triggers" him.

In general he's just a cringey, whiny, attention-whoring sperg. The kind of person who, at a party, sits in the corner and looks sad and aloof so that people will go, "What's wrong?" "Hang out with us!" "We want you here!" etc.

 

[Vulcanusii]

There was this one 20-something Invader Zim fan I came across who would drown rats as an animal sacrifice for a Slavic god she worshiped. She mentioned the she had to use rats because she lived in the city and couldn't get her hands on a live goat to sacrifice. Whenever someone told her that what she was doing was considered animal abuse, she called them a "rat fucker" and threw a fit afterwards.

 

[fishercat]

Spoiler: cow2

This one.. I forget his name I swear it was like Bruce or something. He was always really fucking weird, never much cared to speak to him. Constant rants about how horrible and transphobic his family was and he had a weird affinity for koalas and Sniper from TF2. Huge fucking sperg for that OFF game and went so far to make a fan character called Conductor or something that he was constantly drawing. Never paid that much mind as I found the fans of that game annoying as shit.

The next thing I know, I don't talk to him for awhile and unfollow because he was shitting up my dashboard. Theeen he shows up on multiple blogs poking at the social justice idiots. The first time I saw him, I went to go look at his blog and he was now a demiboy tucute who was otherkin with skeletons and koalas. I shit myself laughing this was already going horrible. He had gone on a huge rant about how tranny women were the only ones who deserved support and how horrible tranny men were despite being one. Basically tranny guilt. People called him out on it and laughed at him and he backpedaled apologizing and saying that it was the fault of his family for being so phobic of him.

The next time I saw him pop up was when he called Shrek transphobic which I'm pretty sure wound up in the random tumblr posts thread. I think it was around then that he suddenly became fictionkin with a stupid fucking skeleton from OFF named Dedan.

Holy fuck, I know this guy. I was "friends" with him for like a year, but I eventually backed out after I got tired of how batshit he was getting. Last time I checked, he goes by Dan now. Because he's Dedankin. Yeeaahhh.

I remember him constantly bemoaning the fact that his family made him do all the chores around the house, and that they were *so abusive* for not letting him sit on his ass all day and sperg about trans headcanons.

Here he is, by the way.

 

[BadActor]

I can't remember much about this cow, I was tracking them through about five URL changes on Tumblr. All I recall is that they claimed to be nonbinary, had rainbow colored hair and looked like an Oblivion potato headed motherfucker. They only had a tiny whip of hair on their head, they were balding but in their early twenties.

I genuinely believed it was a man claiming to be tranny, but then they posted nudes. They were not morbidly obese but still huge as fuck with saggy tits they loved to flash.

Every week they'd start arguments with popular tumblr SJW faggots and then go into suicide baiting mode. Then there would be twenty asks from their "supporters" and she would lash out at each one and swear she'd kill herself. Lost track of them a year or two ago.

 

[Gazed too deep]

I have a particularly depressing sadcow that I've been debating on making a thread about, but decided there wasn't a shred of hilarity with her so there was no point.

In the Homestuck fandom, one of the the Things to Do is make your own "fanventure" in the style of the original comic with your fantrolls, or whatever. This person, whom I'll call Rot as an obvious hint, made her name decently big by making one of these fanventures. However, like many creative tumblrinas with big dreams, she completely drops it just as the comic gets interesting and then falls into depressive alcoholism.
She does this INCREDIBLY often. She also completely chimps out whenever anyone brings up this comic, or ANY of her projects that got popularity at all. She absolutely hates being reminded of when she used to be popular and had a decent fanbase. One of her sidebar 'rules' was to basically never ever bring up this shit or she falls back into depressive alcoholism. Or she'll just do that anyway later on for unrelated reasons.

Well, the real reason Rot dropped that comic was because she wanted to make a game - a game she has a successfully funded Kickstarter for. This game is basically an OFF rip-off style wise and battle wise, and has an incredibly ambitious plot and dating system (or something) planned. She has a playable demo and... that's it. After the demo was released, nothing else was heard of this game again. She dropped it and fell into depressive alcoholism again, though periodically she makes promises to work on the game before something else happens (or she works on yet another project, like ANOTHER comic).
Rot chimped out when Undertale was released, and several people called her out on her complaints of Undertale being the most boring game ever when she hadn't touched her own game for months, or hadn't even been a relevant name for years. She later apologized but this was the last landmark I have of Rot ever saying anything positive about her life ever again.
She did release an entirely different game that's just a 2deep4u walkaround that repeats 50 times over and over, so she's got that going for her.

On the side, she makes some creepy ass looking dolls and jewelry and gets upset when people call them creepy or ugly.

I actually rechecked her blog just now, and it seems she's been working more consistently on that kickstarter game now so it looks like something's being done finally. But every single page has a different post about how she wants to die, how much her life sucks, or whatever else that's just... really uncomfortable to be following long term. Drunk posting and/or crying is still commonplace.

I'm actually kinda curious who this is, as my google-fu is weak and I feel like this is someone I may have seen before

Anyhow, without revealing too much powerlevel, I knew a girl who was in an RP community with. I thought she was nice and was friends for a bit but it became clear that she was part of a clique of manipulative drama monsters. Anyhow, she was always kinda crazy and honestly the fact that she reblogged shit from misandry mermaid and shit should have been a huge red flag. Long story short, massive fallout after things go sour and the clique alienates just about everyone but are also mods so yeah. Checked recently. A dozen or so kintypes complete with a DO NOT FOLLOW IF YOU ARE KIN WITH THESE CHARACTERS AS WELL warning, no less than 3 special genders, and I believe a complete change of name, though I never figured out which one she went by was the "real" one.

 

[Average Pepsi Enjoyer]

I'm actually kinda curious who this is, as my google-fu is weak and I feel like this is someone I may have seen before

I think they're referring to the person who made Guidestuck.

 

[PetalPinkPuppy]

You've covered most of the folks I followed aside from the one who seriously thought Tom Hiddleson was in their brain and they were sharing his body.

 

[NG 070]

There was this one 20-something Invader Zim fan I came across who would drown rats as an animal sacrifice for a Slavic god she worshiped. She mentioned the she had to use rats because she lived in the city and couldn't get her hands on a live goat to sacrifice. Whenever someone told her that what she was doing was considered animal abuse, she called them a "rat fucker" and threw a fit afterwards.

Ah, Invader Zim fandom. They were the early 00's equivalent to the Steven Universe fandom (not surprising, given Rebecca Sugar used to be an IZ fan herself), except all the craziness and batshittery has largely been lost to time and the depths of the internet at this point.

 

[Average Pepsi Enjoyer]

This loveshy-tier manchild a few friends and I knew from tumblr would go apeshit every time anyone said anything bad about fandoms he was in (namely Undertale), to the point that he had a fit when Mega64 was RTing every batshit Undertale fan that got mad at them for not playing the game. He would also get upset anytime anyone did genocide run, despite being clearly programmed to be allowed in the game. Something about killing characters wasn't right because they were real somewhere else or something. I don't know if that was some sort of otherkin SJ thing but that's what it was. This was way too weird to be coming from a man in his twenties.

He was a grown man who seemed to have a thing for underage girls too. It got so bad to the point that an underage girl he was lusting for had to tell him he was being irrational over video games. A grown man had to be told to back off by a little girl. He got mad and blocked everyone who disagreed with him... over a video game. The girl he was talking to even showed the others the logs, because she was so creeped out by him, and he tried kissing up to this girl even when she kept telling him to stop being a manbaby. It was CWC-esque.

He also often made posts about every new girl he lusted on for that week. It really weirded everyone out, especially girls we knew he was vague-posting about. A few people I knew told him to stop and he got real upset about it. He also took pride in stalking his then underage ex's emails or tumblr inbox constantly. Despite this obvious breach in privacy, he got mad at her that she broke up with him over stuff like this. He would keep doing these mental gymnastics to make it seem like he was in the right all the time, despite everyone telling him they disagreed with what he does.

After the girls blocked him for being a general pissbaby, he continued on having fits on other parts of social media, but everyone I know that group that knew him pretty much dropped him after his Mega64 Undertale fit (he had a huge meltdown over it). I, personally, don't know where he is, but I still feel bad for the girls who had to deal with this guy.

There was also this other guy we knew from tumblr who claimed that all black people and the Yakuza (yes, the damn Yakuza) were harassing him for being white and existing. He did a lot more weird things, but I didn't know him too well like this other friend did who had to deal with his shenanigans.

 

[fishercat]

Something about killing characters wasn't right because they were real somewhere else or something. I don't know if that was some sort of otherkin SJ thing but that's what it was. This was way too weird to be coming from a man in his twenties.

Sounds like something a certain someone we know believes in...

 

[EggGender]

I've got a few from my sprint with Tumblr's 'kawaii' community a few years back but my favourite was an average, weebish girl I ended up striking up a convo with and following. Aside from the Japanese emotes and her addressing me with a senpai honorific, she was an ok gal, albeit a bit boring.Then one day she decided that she was now andro/demiboy/demigirl gendered, that everyone was only permitted to use chi/chiiself pronouns when referring to her and that talking in the first person wasn't 'kawaii' enough so she decided to communicate in the third. It's been about 2 years and she still types like that iirc, claiming that she can't stop because it was ingrained into her mind or something (although she also said that she can speak in the first person when she's REALLY angry lol) Last I saw of her she was raging with anons who dared to tell her that speaking in the third person is the most annoying thing ever and that she has the capacity to stop and she somehow took it as a transphobic attack.

 

[nvrn19]

Holy fuck, I know this guy. I was "friends" with him for like a year, but I eventually backed out after I got tired of how batshit he was getting. Last time I checked, he goes by Dan now. Because he's Dedankin. Yeeaahhh.

I remember him constantly bemoaning the fact that his family made him do all the chores around the house, and that they were *so abusive* for not letting him sit on his ass all day and sperg about tranny headcanons.

Here he is, by the way.

Pft, and now since that trans dude guilt post, his first instinct with seeing people disagree with him or reblog his public opinion posts is to instantaneously block them before going on a salty tangent showing that he doesn't care about these guys at all. Figures.

Though to stay on topic, I'm gonna bring up a certain lady I'll shorten to Jeannie. When I followed her at first, during tumblr's whole OFF/DanganRonpa/Homestuck binge, she was at least a good source of a ton of fanart and posts to reblog, if only a little bit weeny and sperged on Rooster Teeth and Nepeta Leijon too much for my liking. It was when plebcomics started getting popular that she finally started to get unbearable; "masterfully" espousing her opinions as fact and whittled down any disagreement as huge white manbabies...despite being a cis, white, straight girl herself, with a boyfriend to boot by some miracle. Occasionally, she'd break down into little crytyping spurts about how much her dad was a shit for not letting her stay in her room and pay for all her essential, important games and computer, and that he was being ableist because of her ADHD or something.

Suddenly getting curious about her like a year or so later, I check out her old page to see that not only did she stay as immature and stubborn as ever, but in some further effort to show that she's totally not all that priviledged, she became fictionkin with not only Nepeta, but Peridot from Steven Universe and Mettaton from Undertale of all things, and her connection to the latter is...a lot more concerning and stereotypical than she thinks it is. Thank fucking god I jumped ship when I did.

 

[Meowthkip]

I take it linking is harm in this thread, but basically a crazy transtrender who was triggered by Oscar Wilde, Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots, and... the the word "kink". She likes to get into autistic slap fights over responses, so don't dare disagree with her or she'll start going into your inbox and dicing her friends on you to just scream at you for being a meanie I guess.

Linking isn't necessarily haram, it's just that most people don't want these crazy fucks to get revenge on them.

 

[sarcasticslipandslide]

Basically everyone I used to be close friends with in high school has become my personal lolcow. All of them have a tumblr, but there are two that really stand out:

• one who believes that every single character in JJBA is trans and has weird kinks ("is it really a question whether or not vanilla ice is into vore", "listne to me. i want pucci and nilla to interact all the time. always. i love them and i want them to be friends and also make out with/for dio"), claims she is "asexual" despite having a NSFW/personal blog detailing how much she loves having her girlfriend eat her out, and went vegan to become a "real feminist" (not sure how well that worked out for her);
• another who loves to talk about how "asexual" and "poly" he is (his sidebar says "poly as heckles") even though he has: expressed sexual interest in others before (reblogging posts about how people should maybe, possibly, fuck him), has 800 kinks he loves to talk about (including bloodplay), etc., and only calls himself polyamorous because he has serious commitment issues (straight from his blog: "#im an emotionally constipated asshole #i can't be left to love one person #and fully emotionally support them #but with the help of more people i love #i can at least help out and balance it with others").

 

[VJ 120]

Basically everyone I used to be close friends with in high school has become my personal lolcow. All of them have a tumblr...

Yeah, I've noticed that too. All of the people I used to really get along with in high school have grown up and drowned themselves in the Tumblr koolaid. Even the most rational ones now post crazy radfem rants about trans bathroom rights on Facebook. I can't escape it

More on topic though, since I've got plenty of these cows up my sleeve... (unfortunately)

Spoiler: slightly powerlevel-y

I know this chick who used to be okay until she got a Tumblr. All of a sudden everything became about ~the discourse~ and how she was Actually Oppressed by the patriarchy or some crazy bullshit. She's one of those extra annoying Tumblr girls who thinks it's really cute to talk about casually murdering boys with axes and drinking male tears. She has posted multiple rants and assorted goodies on Facebook and Tumblr about how it's hilarious when ex-girlfriends knife their boyfriends tires, and how women should do more violent shit to men. Worded in cute phrases like " if a guy slightly inconveniences you, stuff his dead body in a barrel and roll it into a tire fire ", and " make sure all men know how worthless they are to the human race ".

But she's actually a huge hypocrite because she turns around and says stuff like "omg I hate girl gamers they're such fake sluts", or "you're not a gamer, you're a slut with an xbox controller". For some reason she thinks that she's the only True & Honest female gamer on the face of the earth, and everyone else is just doing it for attention. She also idolizes Harley Quinn and the Joker's relationship, to the point where I'm almost certain she believes she's "kin" with Harley Quinn. She hates men, especially abusive ones, and yet she adores the dynamic between Harley Quinn and the Joker.

She's also a rabid Superwholock fan (despite it being outdated even by Tumblr standards) and considers herself a lesbian despite being in a relationship with a man and having the hots for the Joker. AND she does lesbian stuff with her twin sister. Both of them are also huge weeaboos, and wear ill-fitting lolita/anime cosplay that rivals on Pixyteri quality. They both have Tumblr and Facebook asspatters out the wazoo despite being bitchy SJWs who finger each other.

For what it's worth though, it's a little reassuring to know that the reason for her retardation is because she might actually be somewhat retarded. She was in special ed and remedial classes when we were in high school. She still fancies herself a feminist intellectual though, for whatever reason. I guess it just makes me feel better in some weird way knowing that the craziest Tumblrinas are actual speds who are too stupid to make their shitty world vision come to fruition.

 

[friedshrimp]

Long ass fuck and super powerlevel but i have to.

I had this one chick who was like your typical misandrist who spent all her time complaining about "misandry" and "male tears" and she was your typical white british chick who said "oMG WHITE PEOPLE SHOULDN'T MAKE MOVIES ABOUT POCS THAT'S MIGHTY WHITEY" and she was the typical bitch that if you went and told her "i'm actually X and i don't find it racist" she would just grovel at your feet like some retarded dog and be all "WELL I CAN'T DISAGREE WITH AN ACTUAL POC SO I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT" (for some reason european SJWs do this more than American ones, I've noticed- had a similar experience with a nutty Finnish one-on DA rather than tumblr, where she posts SJW-Disney drawings, but whatever).

She was also a huge woman child, that she was in her 20s and had a massive Monster High collection (and she was waaay too much into the Monster High, like writing headcanons of dolls or reblogging fanart or the like), and she was also your typical "crazy cat lady" tumblrina. She also once set fire to her doll-house for some reason... And she was huge into cartoon lesbians (of course) and sperged hard about Korrasami (and this was waaay back before the finale). She also often bitched about that Sherlock Holmes version with Lucy Liu and how it's "OMG BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL CAUSE NO WHITE MEN!" And she also fought frequently with her family about dumb issues. Honestly unfollowed her after I got tired of her shit and she unfollowed me once i openly said that people who think cheating in a relationship is empowering are idiots (she thought i was slut-shaming). Last I knew, she's into Steven Universe, but i only know that by glancing at her URL.

Then there were others too...One was your typical undercut lesbian-loving bitch and man-hater who honestly was the most unpleasant person to talk with- every single reblog that wasn't fandom crap or "omg lesbians yay" was about killing men and how men brainwashed people, etc. She unfollowed me once i complained about how contradictory tumblr was with makeup- there'll be people posting about "they don't wanna use makeup, it's an invention of the patriarchy" and then "we use makeup but not for MEN"- she got buttmad about me laying some truth...

The other one often reblogged pretty graphics but was another girl much of the same. she genuinely thought Greeks were "POC" and often told old civilizations like Aztecs or Pirates were gentle and smart that the "dumb rich whites" declared them to be savages just because they wanted an enemy to fight. And she was like...27 or something, and still believed in that crap.

The most recent one was a relatively sweet girl who whenever she appeared looking at my blog she always sent me very sweet messages, and often reblogged my stuff. since she was so..."insistent" (she's done this thing of sending "cute" messages more than once) one day i followed her and...first thing she brings to my dashboard is a huge ass series of tweets saying "IT'S NATURAL FOR WOMEN TO NOT TRUST MEN AND HERE ARE MY REASONS-" all written by one guy. A quick unfollow after that.

TBH most of my extreme followers are often this lesbian man-haters over anything else like racist "POCs" or weird autistgender sonickin folks. I don't even get it, since my blog is fairly tame and has little to no political stuff, and when it does it's to mock tumblr ideals. And i'm not into tumblr-fandom faves either (yaoi/yuri, "strong" female characters, tranny/POC headcanons-racebending)...

 

[patchwork]

I just remembered I have another one, although very short lived. This one I knew in real life, and boy I didn't think I'd ever meet someone who took shipping so seriously in person.

In the Steven Universe fandom, there's a small ship called 'Pewey', or Pearl and Mayor Dewey (a male character). It's hated by many, MANY people who are incredibly adamant about Pearl being nothing but a hardcore lesbian who doesn't give a shit about anyone but another character, Rose Quartz. You cannot look at the 'Pewey' tag without seeing ten hateful posts for every post that actually has anything to do with the ship. This boy (who came out as non-binary to everyone on Facebook lol), J, was an active participant in the pure hatred of this ship. He would be visibly upset in real life over this ship, or any gay ship in general in the show, if any of the Totally Lesbian characters were shipped with any of the very, very few male characters.

Seeing as I met him when we were 18+, I called him out on tumblr on his rabid stupidity for taking fictional relationships way too seriously because I grew out of that shit when I was 12. I was blocked within minutes of making the post, and he refused to acknowledge me ever again in classes... or even at work. As we were both working as florists, and this was happening around Valentine's Day, you can see how a co-worker completely ignoring my existence would make work incredibly difficult. He ended up having a breakdown or something in the backroom early in the day and I was left to field the rush with only volunteer help.

So yeah, when I look at some of our working Tumblrinas such as @Stray Sheep, I can't help but wonder how much of a burden they are on their co-workers when stressful days come. Because that shit sucked.

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

Closest I can get to a valid contribution is a girl I went to school with who used to eat dog biscuits. She'd bring a bag of them in her pocket and sneak them into her mouth all day. The teachers knew what she was up to and tried to tell her parents she had issues but after her mum had a very loud and extremely public outburst about it one parents evening they gave up and just let her eat the damn things. Everybody thought she was hilarious. Once we left school she gave up dog biscuits and began consuming epic amounts of cock from a variety of sources. I'm reasonably sure that at least 25/30% of people who used to laugh at her busted their first nut in her mouth.
*disclaimer* I was not one of them but I'm reliably informed that it was worth it as years of chewing rock hard dog biscuits had given her smooth teeth and mouth muscles that could suck a football through a length of surgical tubing.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

Closest I can get to a valid contribution is a girl I went to school with who used to eat dog biscuits. She'd bring a bag of them in her pocket and sneak them into her mouth all day. The teachers knew what she was up to and tried to tell her parents she had issues but after her mum had a very loud and extremely public outburst about it one parents evening they gave up and just let her eat the damn things. Everybody thought she was hilarious. Once we left school she gave up dog biscuits and began consuming epic amounts of cock from a variety of sources. I'm reasonably sure that at least 25/30% of people who used to laugh at her busted their first nut in her mouth.
*disclaimer* I was not one of them but I'm reliably informed that it was worth it as years of chewing rock hard dog biscuits had given her smooth teeth and mouth muscles that could suck a football through a length of surgical tubing.

Is she on tumblr?