69, over 9000, <insert_meme_number>. In truth, no one, because the people we make fun of are attention whores that threaten suicide publicly to get asspats. No one who kills themselves really makes it super duper obvious through crytyping on the internet about it beforehand; yes, Cyberbu//y lied to you.
You're making this a bigger deal than it needs to be, because you know you're not a big deal and you feel this is your vehicle to rectify that. See, even your supposed victimization is self-serving! You'll leap off our heads into the limelight because we were mean to you, a 64(?) year old man, on the internet. And everyone will care about you, and you'll get the attention your parents never gave to you, or something, and you'll show us! God, you're so immature, and I really feel bad for you because you have nothing else going for you in your life. This is, we are, all you have. And I pity you, because you're as aware about it as we are, I think.
Oh, and you think you're Hunter S. Thompson or something, all "gonzo" this and "conspicuous drug habit" that, but you're just a lame Francis E. Dec, Esq knockoff at absolute best. I just wanted to say that, because I think you stake a lot of your self image on that, and it's insulting to me as a fan of his work.